I feel like I'm going to be sick as I pull up in front of Maya's house. I've never been so nervous before, and I hate that about myself. I wish I were like Cameron, confident and charming, but instead I'm messing with the strings of my hoodie, gulping loudly as I stare at her front door. Should I go to the door? This isn't technically a date, but it's the polite thing to do, right?
I'm going to be a gentleman, so I get out of the car and start to head down the gravel path. Maya lives in a trailer park, and I remember for the longest time that she refused to have my parents drop her off at home. She would have them park down the block where she could walk, but eventually Maddie found out the real reason, and we never dropped her off down the block again. My parents aren't judgmental. They'd never look down at her for where she lives.
Plus, even though she lives in a trailer park, her family has made it really nice. There's flowers lining up the pathway to the steps, tiny garden nomes and little fountains in the yard. They take good care of their home. She has no reason to be ashamed of it.
Before I'm able to walk up the steps, I see Maya walk around the back of the trailer, furrowing her eyebrows together when she sees me. "What are you doing?" She asks, quickly glancing back at the trailer. "My parents don't know I'm leaving. I had to sneak out."
"Oh." I nod, feeling like a complete idiot as I shove my hands into the pocket of my hoodie.
We walk quickly back to the truck, but then she laughs. "Were you walking to the front door to get me?"
I can't tell whether or not she's making fun of me, and when she goes to the passenger side of my truck I debate opening up the door for her too. Thankfully she makes the decision for me and opens it up herself to hop inside, not giving me the opportunity to do so even if I wanted to.
"You still didn't answer me." She notes when I shut the door behind me. We put our seatbelts on before I pull onto the road, and I can feel her eyes boring into my face. "Were you coming to the door?"
"Would it be a bad thing if I was?" I decide to ask, and that's when I see her cheeks turn a bright pink.
"No." Is all she says, fumbling with her fingertips on her lap. She's nervous too, and as I continue to drive, I admire how she looks, stealing glances whenever she isn't paying attention. Her hair is tied up into a high ponytail, two perfect ringlets hanging down to frame her face. Her nails are a baby pink, looking beautiful against that tan skin of hers. I'm tempted to grab onto one of her hands until she says, "You might want to stare at the road so that we don't crash since you're high and all."
I arch a brow up as she rolls her eyes. "It reeks of weed in here and your eyes are completely blood shot. Why do you smoke anyways? Does it help with the anxiety?"
"A lot, actually." I admit. "More than you'd think."
She nods, looking deep in thought until she eventually lets the subject go and leans over to turn on my radio. Maya has never been shy, so I wouldn't expect for her to ask first. I don't understand how she's not feeling the same way that I do right now, and I start to question everything. Maybe drunk words aren't sober thoughts. Maybe she genuinely doesn't feel that way about me. Maybe it's only me that feels like I'm going to upchuck all over my dashboard right now.
A random pop song blares through the speakers, thankfully interrupting this awful silence that's formed between us. I wasn't this god damn nervous the first time I took her out, so why am I being like this now?
I guess it's because I kissed her. The sexual tension is so high that it's almost unbearable. She's wearing short shorts and a cropped sweater, that belly button ring shimmering whenever the sunlight hits it. Gripping the steering wheel tighter, I let out a frustrated sigh and stare back out at the road.
"What?" Maya asks.
And then I look over at her, the sunlight catching her eyes. Again, I find myself lost in honey. I'm almost neck fucking deep in honey at this point, and if I wait another minute I'll drown.
We're still on a random road with just the desert beside us, so I pull over abruptly and put the car in park. Maya's eyes are wide as she stares at me, her chest beginning to rise and fall rapidly from the anticipation of what I'm about to do.
"I don't want to not talk about it." I tell her. "I don't want to forget it ever happened, because that kiss-"
"Ethan..." Maya tries to cut me off, but I continue.
"You're going to sit there and tell me that you felt nothing?" I ask and scan over her lips again, doing everything in my power to hold myself back. "Look me in my eyes and tell me that our kiss wasn't the best damn thing you've ever felt and I'll never bring it up again."
Her eyes meet mine, and I can visibly see her gulp. She must be feeling the tension too.
"Even if it was, I can't let myself go there with you. You probably say this shit to every other girl you've tried to score, and I don't want to be stupid and fall for it."
This is when I should just come right out and tell her that I'm a virgin. It's right on the tip of my tongue, but I'm so fucking embarrassed of it. Maya wouldn't make fun of me, would she? She's not that type of girl. She wouldn't gossip about it. At least I don't think.
"Will you please trust me when I say that I'm not that guy that you think I am? That my intentions aren't what you think at all?"
She blinks away tears, her bottom lip trembling slightly. I haven't ever seen Maya cry in the years that I've known her, but lately that's all she seems to be doing around me. "It has more to do with it than that." She explains. "It's not all because I'm reluctant to trust you, okay? My family is complicated, and my parents don't exactly... approve of me dating someone like you."
My eyebrows furrow together in confusion. "Your parents are the nicest people, Maya. I've met them plenty of times now."
"They like you, Ethan, but they wouldn't like for me to date you. They have a hard time speaking English, which you already know, and they've made it clear that they want me to date someone that speaks our language. You know, someone that's part of my culture."
I'm dumbfounded, forming my lips together in a thin line to try and think of something to respond to that. I can't blame her parents for wanting to be able to communicate clearly with her significant other that she chooses to be with, but don't they want her to be happy? It seems like her parents control all aspects of her life. From school, to relationships, to her appearance. It's a lot to comprehend.
"So that's why I shouldn't have said what I did." She admits. "It's embarrassing to tell you the main reason why, but that's it. I'm not going to risk it all when I know my parents wouldn't even approve. It would be pointless. We'd both end up getting hurt."
I nod, attempting to hide my disappointment, but failing epically. I bring my gaze down to my lap to avoid staring at her, but suddenly I feel her hand grab onto mine. This hasn't ever happened before with our fingers interlocked like this, but I immediately love it. It's like the missing piece to the puzzle that I've been searching my whole life for, except I can't have it.
"Well, it's going to be hard to act like that kiss didn't happen." I say. "I'm glad we talked about things though. I just didn't want to go on this family weekend bullshit and have it be awkward around everyone."
"I mean, it won't be awkward as long as you stop looking at me the way you have been the past couple of days. It's like you're undressing me in your mind or something, and it's going to be obvious."
"Do you want me to stop looking at you like that?" I ask and tilt my head to the side, trying to figure out what it is she really wants. I know her parents don't want her to date me, but would she ever want to date me? Judging from our kiss I'm going to say yes.
"So you're admitting it?" She counters.
"Fully, but I'll stop if you want me to."
Her stare hardens on me, and then she moves her eyes to my lips, lingering there longer than she probably should. It's hot inside of this car, sweat forming on my back as I await an answer from her.
"I think you owe me a burger." She laughs and slumps back into my passenger seat, letting go of my hand to cross her arms over her chest. "Maybe I'll give you an answer to that question afterwards."
She's teasing me, and I'm loving every second of it.
"Okay." I reply with a smug grin, flipping on the blinker to pull back onto the road. "I look forward to that answer, Maya."
_______
Now that we got the awkwardness out of the way, I'm completely at ease with her at Five Guy's. We're both happy as ever, smiles plastered to our faces as we stuff our mouths with burgers. Maya has been leaning over to steal some of my fries when she already has some, but she's cute when she does it, so I don't say anything.
"No!" I shake my head side to side in a dramatic way, laughing my full head off. "There's no way in hell you listen to death metal. I don't believe it."
"Look for yourself!" She exclaims and pushes her phone across the table towards me. I open up Spotify and am in complete disbelief from what I'm seeing. I never thought in a million years that she'd listen to anything like this, but It's fucking cool. She's opening up a new side of herself to me everyday, and I am totally diving into it all. I want to know every single part of her.
"But you were just listening to pop in my car..." I trail off.
"Because that's what girls are supposed to listen to."
"You think girls can't have different tastes in music?"
"I mean, they can... but the girls that you're into definitely don't listen to death metal."
"So you were trying to impress me?" I ask.
"What?" She wrinkles her nose up in disgust to try and play it off, but her cheeks are getting that familiar rosy shade to them. It makes me send a genuine smile towards her across the table. "I wasn't trying to impress you, I'm just saying that guys aren't into girls who listen to the genres I'm into."
"And you know that how? Have you taken a survey of all the boys in the world?"
"Don't act like it isn't true!" She laughs. "Does Jennifer listen to death metal?"
"No, but I'm also not into Jennifer."
"So you just let girls you aren't into blow you?"
Oh, shit. I wasn't expecting her to bring that up, but then again, this is Maya we're talking about. She's always been blunt and honest, so I'm not sure why I was expecting anything different. "I..." I trail off, scratching the back of my head to try and dig my way out of this one. "That wasn't- I mean, she wasn't-"
"I'm just saying." She laughs and throws her hands up in defeat. "Those are the type of girls you're into whether you'll admit it or not, and I don't fit the description."
Swirling the straw around in her sprite, she takes another sip before I'm bold and reach across the table to grab onto her hand. I know I'm flirting with her. I know I shouldn't be doing this, but I can't help myself. This has more to do with her parents than Maddie finding out, and for whatever reason that makes me want to convince her otherwise. I want to persuade her to choose me. Fuck what her parents think.
"Did you ever think that maybe you're my description?" I arch a brow up, and her lips part, but she remains silent when I continue. "Girls like Jennifer and all of them only want me for a night. They just want to be satisfied, but you..." I trail off, trying to find a way to describe her. "You're my description."
"Meaning...?"
"Meaning that if I were to have a checklist of everything I wanted in someone, you cross off every single thing."
I can tell she wasn't expecting me to say this. I've never been this bold with her, but it feels good to get how I've been feeling off my chest. I'm tired of hiding how I feel, especially when I haven't been this happy in forever. I never want this night to end.
"That's a shame then." She smiles softly, but when she glances down at her now empty basket of food she seems sad. "Because you fit my description too."
And then she lifts her eyes to mine, and I swear I'm about to lean right across this table. That same tension grows between us again, and I know she said it couldn't work between us because of her parents, and the fact that she thinks I'm some player, but right now I'm willing to say fuck it. This is so unfair.
"Come on." I tell her and stand up from the table, extending my hand out to hers.
Tentatively putting her hand in mine, she allows me to walk her outside, but we both freeze dead in our tracks when we realize it's absolutely down pouring. This is Arizona. It literally never rains, but when it does it's always like this. A complete downpour.
"I'm going to go pull the car around." I shout over the rain. "Just wait here, okay?"
"You think I'm scared of a little rain?" She teases.
"My truck is all the way in the back of the parking lot! Are you crazy?"
"Maybe!"
And then she bolts. She's full fledged running into the down pouring rain, immediately becoming soaked. It takes me a minute to register that we're actually doing this, but I dart out after her to try and catch up. We're both laughing so hard we can't breathe, Maya screaming when it begins to come down even harder.
"I'm fucking drenched!" She shouts, and when we finally reach my truck she spins around to face me, anxiously awaiting for me to open up the doors. "I don't know why I did that!" She continues to laugh as I fish around for the keys in my pocket. "Oh my god, hurry up!"
"Oh, so you want me to go slower?" I joke, taking my sweet time now to try and find the keys. They're in my hand, but I'm not pulling them out just yet. "God, I can't find them."
"Ethan, I literally saw you put them in your pocket earlier!" She laughs and runs over to me, attempting to get into my pocket herself. I'm twisting and spinning around in circles to try and conceal it, loving the way she's laughing so hard that she's crying.
Hearing someone's true laugh is a beautiful thing. You know, that laugh that's different from their normal one, the one that you can just hear how much fun they're having in that moment, and right now, hearing her giggle that sounds slightly like a hyena makes me fall in love with her a little more.
Throwing her hands up into the air in defeat, she blinks away rain that's getting into her eyes. "You're an idiot." She says, the common phrase of hers that I'm beginning to think is made just for me at this point. Her hand is still gripping onto my sweatshirt to hold me in place, and damn, she's so pretty.
I can't take it anymore.
I'm officially drowning in honey.
Pressing my lips against hers, she doesn't move away. Instead she pulls me closer as I back her up against the side of my door. The rain is still beating down on us, but I could care less about it. I'm so in love with this woman, and I can't seem to find a way to get out all of this lust that I'm feeling for her in this moment. I'm raking my hands through her hair, running them down her sides, then across her stomach, pausing to play with that damn belly ring of hers.
"Ethan." She moans when I move my lips to her neck. "Wait, lets-"
"Fuck, I'm sorry." I pull away from her and fish the keys out of my pocket. "I know you said we shouldn't, but it's so damn hard not to make a move on you, Maya. You're so fucking beautiful, and I-"
"Ethan." She repeats, a knowing smile on her face when she grabs onto my hand. "I was going to say let's go in the back seat?"
Oh.
She takes my hand as I'm somehow able to unlock the doors, feeling like I'm in a complete and utter dream as I climb into my backseat behind her. She tugs me down on top of her and kisses me again, the rain shielding us completely from everything outside of here.
"This is so stupid of us." Maya giggles, our shirts sticking together from how soaked our clothes are. "But you kiss so damn good. Ugh, come here."
I smile against her lips before I add tongue, groaning when she tugs at my hair to pull me closer. I don't know how much closer I can get to her since my body is firmly against hers, but she's squirming beneath me, seeming to want more.
"Ethan, please." She begs.
I pull away slightly to look down at her, panting and out of breath. "Please what? Tell me what you want."
She wriggles out from underneath me and peels the cropped sweatshirt off of her, tossing it onto the floor of my back seat as I try to find the words to describe the sight in front of me. A pink lacy push-up bra is staring back at me, and I don't even expect her to, but she removes that as well, leaving her completely naked from the waist up.
I blink a few times, unsure of how to grasp the fact that this is the first time I've seen a woman's breasts fully exposed to me, and it's my dream girl. The girl I waited out for. She's fucking perfect.
I want to kiss every inch of her now exposed skin, so that's exactly what I do. I leave wet and sloppy kissing across her lower stomach, pausing to swirl my tongue around that belly button ring. I've never done something like this before, but she seems to like it. Her back is arching slightly off the seat, her hips bucking up towards me, so I continue and move up towards her breasts.
My eyes are fixed on hers, my hard on straining against my boxers beneath my sweatpants as I watch her face react to my tongue. I move up the middle of her chest, but she quickly directs my mouth to her breast. This must be what she likes, and just for a second I begin to panic.
What if I'm not good at it? How many guys has she slept with? Is she a virgin too? From the looks of it I'm going to assume she's not because she seems to know exactly what she wants. Not that I care if she's slept with anyone, but I want to be the best. I want to be her favorite.
Pushing the doubts out of my head, I cautiously take her nipple into my mouth, swirling my tongue around and around. The sound that comes out of her mouth is the sexiest thing I have ever fucking heard. I groan into her and continue exactly what I'm doing, her nipple becoming hard and erect against my tongue from the pleasure.
"Oh, Ethan!" She cries out, and it takes everything I have not to come right here and now. I'm so worked up, and Maya is sexy as hell. I don't think I can take much more.
And then she reaches her hand between us to grab onto the bulge over my sweatpants, a moan immediately escaping my mouth from the feeling. She slides her hand up and down it, nudging my head for me to continue my work on her breast. I'm going to come. I'm going to embarrass myself so badly in front of her, but she feels so fucking good. Her hand feels so good.
"Maya, I-"
The sound of a ringtone that isn't mine echoes throughout the car, Maya's hand instantly coming off of my sweatpants before she gently pushes me off of her and reaches for her soaking wet clothes. "Fuck. It's my parents. They must have found out I'm not home."
"And you don't want to answer?" I ask.
"Why would I? They'd hear your truck. I'd be in even deeper shit than I already am. I just need to go home. I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing? It's fine. I can take you. Come on."
I wait until she's finished dressing before I open up the door and climb into the front seat. Maya still has a smile on her face as she gets in beside me and fastens her seatbelt, seeming unaffected that her parents just caught her sneaking out.
Still breathless, I'm trying to calm myself down but it's almost impossible. My dick is hard as a rock, images of Maya topless running through my mind.
"I think you might be telling the truth." Maya suddenly says ten minutes into the ride. "About not being a player."
"And what led you to that conclusion?"
"This." She waves her hand up and down my body before she points to my hard on. "I'm about to leave you with blue balls and you aren't pissed. Plus, you're still taking me home. Thank you."
"I'd just like to point out that your standards for a decent guy are very low, but you're welcome."
I reach over to grab onto her knee, circling my thumb against her inner thigh. She takes my hand to hold it instead, giving it a gentle squeeze before she says, "It's going to be very difficult to be around you next weekend after that."
"You're telling me." I scoff, but then I think back to the conversation we had on the way here. "What does this mean though? I mean, you already said we can't be together, so what exactly are we doing?"
"You would want to be together? Like, date?" She asks, almost as if she's in disbelief. "You don't date anyone."
"Well you aren't just anyone, are you, ms. description?"
This causes her to smile. "Guess not. I know I said that I didn't want to do anything with you if I couldn't be yours, but I think just getting to know each other right now is more than enough for me. This way I don't have to worry about my parents, and if what's happening between us becomes more serious then I'll bring it up to them then, but for now I just want to get to know you, and if something happens between us like it just did then I guess that's okay. I definitely don't regret it, so... is that alright with you?"
Getting Maya in any form is more than okay with me. We're just figuring each other out, and although we've known each other for years, we're just now figuring this whole romance part out. I don't want to rush it. What we have between us doesn't need to be rushed.
"That's fine with me, Maya, but please for the love of God don't bring that string bikini next weekend that you wore last time you came with us to Myrtle Beach. I won't be able to keep my hands off of you if you do."
"Oh, so pack it then?" She smiles coyly, using the same sarcasm I used with her earlier in the rain. "I'll make sure to pack all of my most revealing clothes. I have to make it fun somehow, right? If I can't kiss you I might as well tease you."
"You're going to be the utter death of me." I sigh.
She instructs me to park down the block like we used to with my parents since I'm not supposed to be seen by them and they're more than likely waiting for her to come home. Thankfully it stopped raining, all remanants of wetness already gone from how hot it Is outside. "Thanks for the burger." She says and opens up the passenger side door, leaning over to give me a quick kiss to the lips. I tug her back into me though and kiss her again, gripping onto her chin to hold her in place.
"Oh my god." Maya sighs and places her hand on my chest after about a minute or so. "Okay, I seriously have to go, but damn, you're a good kisser."
I'm feeling proud of myself as she hops out onto the sidewalk, the passenger seat soaking wet from her clothes. I've had the best day I think I've ever had In my entire life and it's all because of her. She has no idea how long I've waited for this. How long I've waited to kiss her goodbye, or even kiss her in general.
"Hey!" I shout out to her after I roll down the window to catch her attention. "You never answered my question earlier. Am I allowed to stare at you now?"
She gets an instant cheesy smile on her face, and I swear on everything I could stare at her forever. I'll never get tired of that smile.
"I don't think I ever want you to stop staring at me." She admits. "Have a nice night, Ethan."
A/N:
Ok I don't know how I keep forgetting to update lmao shoutout to you guys for reminding me. I have been SO busy lately, so I apologize for being a few hours late in posting! Hopefully this chapter made up for it though :)
We love long chapters!!! Right?!
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