Saturday, November 13, 2021
(Still at the party)
When the party started to get crazy, and everyone was dancing, I decided to step out to the balcony for some much-needed air. I had very ambivalent feelings about tonight. It was truly great being and feeling part of the group again, partying together, dancing, joking, and all in between, but... My eyes kept looking for Cari. I kept checking if she was okay and if she was having fun. I paid attention to everything that made her laugh or made her sad. I just couldn't stop focusing on her. How should I keep it a secret that I am still crazy in love with her?!
"Here you are." I heard Cari's voice from the direction of the balcony door. I turned toward her. "You disappeared, and I started to get worried." She smiled at me and walked closer with a few wobbly steps. I extended my arm, and she grabbed it in order to secure herself. When she got next to me, she didn't let it go, only wrapped herself around my upper arm and totally snuggled up against my side. "Is everything okay?
"Of course, I just needed a bit of fresh air." I lazily pointed towards the street under us. "You have a pretty good view from here."
"I do." Cari nodded and I glanced at her. She was looking back at me with an intense look. My heart started to beat faster. I know this look way too well... She always used to be a bit more flirty when she was drunk but I really couldn't decide if this was really happening or if my mind was playing games with me. "Are you enjoying yourself?"
"I am." I nodded and looked away before I made a huge mistake. "thank you for convincing me to come. My mood is definitely better than it would have been if I stayed home."
"I am glad to hear. The girls missed you, and I did too." Cari said while she laid her head on my shoulder so we could look at the view together.
"I missed you too." Thank god for English grammar; she could understand this the way she wanted to. "Are you enjoying yourself?"
"I am feeling great but it will hurt tomorrow." She said after a few seconds of thinking which made me laugh. "Would you like to do something together tomorrow?"
"Well, you definitely promised me a meet-up," I said but I wasn't serious. "Jokes aside, you will have a hangover tomorrow. Are you sure you are up for it?" I reminded Cari of her last statement.
"I don't mind it. We can just chill together. We haven't met this week, I would like to spend some time with you... only the two of us." She added the last part even more quietly. Even in my wildest dreams, I did not expect to hear something like this from Cari Fletcher ever again.
"I would love to spend time with you. Just write me when you wake up, and I can pick you up. We can figure out what to do then." I put together a quick plan, and she just nodded. In the next second, she let out a big sigh and lifted her head to look at me.
"I talked with my therapist about you." She started and slowly let go of my hand. I turned towards her with my full body. "She said that I can't avoid serious conversations forever. I need to be a big girl and we need to talk about my songs." She was looking at my face, waiting for my reaction. I bit into my lower lip and turned my head towards the street again. I didn't know how to react, and I wasn't sure that this was the perfect time to discuss this topic.
"I guess your therapist is right." I agreed even though I was really scared of that conversation. "but I don't think we should do it right now right here. We are both drunk and..." She put up her hand to stop my mumbling.
"Avery, I know. I didn't mean tonight." She interrupted me. "I know we are way too tipsy for that conversation, and we have too many people around here." Cari nodded towards the door.
"Oh, yes. Of course, soon then, okay?" I was mumbling awkwardly, and I could see that a smile was spreading all over her face.
"You are cute when you are awkward," Fletch said, and I could feel that my face was heating up.
"Ohm... well." I didn't know what to say, so I said what I really wanted. "Can I get a hug?"
"Come here." She stepped into my arms and wrapped her own around my waist. Her face found the perfect place right under my neck while my hands started to slowly stroke her back. "You are always so warm." She murmured it into my neck. Goosebumps suddenly run over my whole body as a result of feeling her warm breath on my skin.
I don't know how long we stood there like this, enjoying each other's touch and smell. I never wanted this moment to end. Of course, we were not that lucky, and the girls finally found us.
"Heeeey. What are you doing outside? You will catch a cold" said Jenna loudly and we suddenly stepped back. They were all looking at us from the door. Fuck.
"Just needed some fresh air," Cari said while she stepped inside the apartment once again. I took one last big breath, and I followed her in. I went straight to the kitchen to drink some water, but I could see from the corner of my eyes that Alex had pulled Cari to the side and they were heavily discussing something. I glanced at my watch which said 2.30 am. I think it is time to go.
The girls tried to convince me to stay a bit longer but it was really time for me to go. As much as I enjoyed the party, I still had a very long day behind my back. I went to give hugs to everyone before I stepped in front of Cari.
"See you in a few hours." She whispered into my ears, and I nodded before I gave her one last squeeze.
I can't deny it anymore. I am madly in love with Cari Fletcher.