Chapter 33- Betrayal
Loving you was
The most
Exquisite Form
Of Self
Destruction
~ d.j.
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As soon as the words left Lola's lips my heart dropped. How could she be so sure? There had to be some sort of misunderstanding. What was Gina's jumper doing in the cupboard of my house?
"What?" were the only words that my dry parched mouth could muster. I continued to stare at Lola dumbfounded, hoping for her to change her answer. As though my life wasn't complicated enough, of course, there had to be more problems.
My eyes remained fixated on Lola as she fidgeted with her fingers, her gaze lingering on the soft woollen carpet beneath us. She clearly couldn't believe this news herself. I could see her blinking continuously almost as though she was trying to get the information out of her head.
"Lola, I need you to be sure," I said, stepping into her room completely and closing the door behind me. I knew if someone wanted to eavesdrop a thick wooden door wouldn't be enough to cover the sound, but it was the best thing I could do.
Lola twiddled with her fingers and finally lifted her head to look at me.
She was worried.
This could lead to an all-out war putting the full pack in danger.
This was the reason I wanted Colton to reject me.
This was the reason I wanted to leave.
But I was weak and selfish. A life without Colton didn't feel like a life worth living. Without him, I feel empty. So, I came back to cause more death and destruction.
Without saying another word, she grabbed the jumper which lay in a ball on the floor and flipped it inside out. There was a neatly embroidered tag which had 4 letters scribbled on it.
Gina
There it was written in black and white.
The Truth.
Silently I grabbed the jumper and walked out of the room. There was nothing else to say.
We were fucked.
Two Alphas trying to destroy our pack and it was all my fault. Killing an Alphas mate was unforgivable. Whether it was intentional or unintentional it causes a shit load of problems. More than anything I felt dreadful. My friend's mate was dead because of me.
A friend who helped me through so much.
Who encouraged me to give Colton a chance.
The most loving, caring, gentleman and I was about to destroy him. I had a feeling he could already feel her presence was missing but he wouldn't believe it. Not until I told him.
The walk down the stairway felt like it lasted an eternity. The long spiralling stairs felt as though they were endlessly looping with no aim in sight. I finally reached the outside of a room where Colton was sitting alone.
As soon as I walked in, he saw my face and knew something was wrong.
I was completely pale and felt limp.
I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.
Without saying another word, he stood from his seat and embraced me in his arms.
"It's Gina's," I said my head squished into his chest firmly. I knew he heard my silent muster, as I felt his back muscles become taut and his arms slightly limp around my waist.
Colton grabbed me by the shoulders and held me at arm's length examining my face. I couldn't even look him in the eye. I felt so ashamed. Everything I touch I destroy. I didn't even spare my own friend. At this rate, I had to be cursed because there is no other explanation.
"Who else knows?" was all he said, his gaze unwavering.
"Other than Lola, no one" I muttered.
"We have no choice but to lie" he stated so simply and emotionlessly that I didn't even recognise his voice. His hand gently cupped the side of my face as I stared into his eyes. His usual ocean blue was now dark black. They were so dark I could see my own reflection through them.
His wolf was in control.
"What do you mean?" I questioned removing his hand from my cheek and stepping away. I couldn't do that.
Alpha Xavier is my friend, and he would be able to tell if I lie. Plus, if we lie what are we supposed to say?
'Sorry Xavier we have no idea why you can smell your mate; you clearly need to be taken to the nuthouse?'
"We will tell Xavier that she left the pack one day and never returned," he said so nonchalantly that I flinched at his words. He sounds so cold-hearted I can't even recognise him. If we said that to Xavier, he would always hold out hope. He would send his men out to look for her.
He will never stop!
"No" I stated so firmly his face furrowed.
"Oh really?" he replied tilting his head and stepping closer to me.
"Yes," I shook my head.
"I mean No" I shook my head again.
"You know what I'm trying to say" I responded standing my ground and looking straight into his eyes.
"Casey, this could destroy us" he turned away from me and placed both of his arms on his desk, his fingers gently curved around the edges and his face drooping down. I couldn't help but stare at his strong muscley arms, his blue veins were protruding and his long thin fingers curving around the edge of the desk made me think of all the things those fingers could do to me.
Bloody hell Casey. I need Edna Mode to slap me and tell me to pull myself together because I am down bad. But I'm not going to lie, I need this man to destroy me.
Snap. Out. Of. It
"This could cause a war and with Harold on our case, we can't take that risk." His words caught me off guard and although it was selfish it was true.
"I promise you. We will tell him the truth" he turned to look me straight in the eye.
"Eventually. Not right now" Although I wanted to argue with him about this, I knew deep down he was right. We have no choice. If we told him the truth it would cause nothing, but death and destruction and we couldn't afford that right now.
I was being selfish for the sake of the pack and for the sanity of my mate.
It was a necessary evil.
"Ok," I said. My heart ached to know that I couldn't tell Xavier the truth but at this point, I had no choice but to protect my own family, no matter how much it hurt.
Xavier would never forgive me for this, and I could never be the one to tell him this lie. I felt horrible and corrupted. How did I end up becoming the villain in someone else's life?
But this wasn't about me. This was about the pain and hurt that Xavier was now going to have to endure.
Colton was right. I am selfish. My whole life all I've done is thought about myself. Even at this moment, I'm thinking about how this is impacting me. The real victim here is Xavier.
"We have one year" I exhaled loudly.
"One year to sort things out with Harold and tell Xavier the truth" Colton looked me dead in the eye and without a hint of hesitation he nodded. I couldn't even imagine the stress he must be in right now.
"I must go and speak to Xavier now" he walked towards me placing a longing kiss on my lips and walked out the room closing the door behind him.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
************
Colton came into bed at 4 am. He told me Xavier was distraught after hearing the lie about Gina and left immediately. He didn't tell me much else. He knew I already felt bad so was trying to spare my feelings.
He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me in closer to him as I squeezed my eyes shut tighter willing myself to go to sleep. My thoughts were running amok in my head, as I tried so hard to get to sleep. I couldn't stop fidgeting and moving from the distress the day had caused.
I knew Xavier would not be sleeping for a while and that thought hurt me. I was going to make him suffer for a whole year. That wasn't fair but I didn't have any other choice. Xavier is my friend, but my mate and pack come first.
My thoughts were halted abruptly as I felt Colton's hand grasp my lower waist tightly.
"Stop moving your hips" he grunted pushing himself away from me. My cheeks turned crimson red and my eyes shot open widely. His little friend or I should say, big friend was standing up and giving me a salute.
Colton rapidly stood up adjusted himself and went to the bathroom locking the door behind him.
Damn.
I'm having an existential crisis while Colton has his mind on other things and has now put my mind on other things. I got up from the bed and knocked on the bathroom door.
"Colton" I whispered. No reply.
"Colton," I said louder this time. I knew he could hear me because I could hear what he was doing in there.
"What?" he replied so breathlessly I was surprised I didn't melt into a puddle.
"Nothing" I answered shakily.
I walked away from the door and decided to drink some water to calm myself down. Tonight, wasn't the night. We both had to rest and strategies for what was to come. Don't get me wrong, if it was up to me, I would be in the bathroom riding him like a bull. But I couldn't.
We have other more pressing matters to be concerned about.
I moved out of the room and down the stairs towards the kitchen switching the light on behind me. I grabbed a glass from one of the units and poured some cold water into my cup taking slow sips.
The kitchen light gently flickered as I made a mental note to remind Colton to have someone change the bulb in the morning.
I am probably the only Luna in history who has not had sex for this long after being marked by an alpha. It's not like I don't want to but there's always something that comes in the way, and I want my first time to be perfect. I don't want to be worried about being murdered or the fact I murdered my friend's mate.
It wasn't fair on-.
My thoughts were cut short as I saw someone run past the kitchen door.
"Colton, what are you doing?" I questioned placing my glass of water on the countertop and walking over to investigate. As I stepped closer to the door the lights began to flicker even harder.
"Very funny Colton" I stated, stepping closer to the door. To say I wasn't frightened was a lie. I hate being scared and I don't know why Colton thought it would be a good idea to do this at 4 am.
Colton ran past the door even quicker this time as I slowly moved towards the door.
"This isn't funny Colton. You're scaring me." Without a second thought, I began walking in the opposite direction from the door.
Hello. Has no one seen a horror movie before? There's no way in hell I'm investigating that even if I am a wolf. As I began to sprint to the opposite door the lights switched off completely.
It was pitch black. The kind of black you see when the lights just switch off and your eyes haven't fully adjusted.
"Colton this isn't funny," I said again, this time louder. Before I could say another word, a hand grasped my mouth silencing me.
I knew it wasn't Colton.
It was soft, small, and feminine. It was a woman.
A strong woman.
"Fear not dear, it is I" the woman from my dream spoke and I relaxed slightly.
Am I lucid dreaming?
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A/N
The ending of this chapter is rushed, I'm so sorry ☹
I received such nice comments on the last chapter it really motivated me to write a new one.
So, what are your thoughts? Do you think they did the right thing by not telling Xavier what actually happened to Gina?
I will see you all very soon xx