Y/N's POV
This nightmare was so scary. I was glad Liz was next to me even though I would be okay if it was Tim too. Lizzie was just keeping me safe in her arms. After I calmed down I drifted back to sleep. I had another pregnancy nightmare. This time it was about my delivery. It was kinda weird and it scared me. "Where is Evie. Is Evie okay?" I shout at Liz. "Calm down. Evie is in her own bed. Do I need to get her?" She asks me. "No, no, let her sleep. It's okay," I say as I fall back onto my pillow. "Can I have my arm back please?" Liz asks laughing. "Nope, you're mine Liz. You volunteered to stay with me. Now you can't leave anymore," I say as I hold onto Lizzie's arm. She can't leave.
Lizzie and I barely slept last night because I had a few nightmares and one panic attack. Evie woke up once, but Tim handled that. It was 9 am now and I needed today to be over. I needed to know why I miscarried and I wanted to talk to dr. Turner too. I needed to feel better for my baby. I couldn't kill myself because I couldn't leave Evie alone.
"Ah, doctor Turner texted me. You have an appointment with doctor Montgomery at 12 and when we're finished we can go up to her office. She had someone who cancelled so she kinda has 2 sessions open. If we want to make it and give you a shower we have to get out of bed now," Lizzie says as she starts tickling me. "Nooo stop, stop you can't be like this. I'm getting out already. Only catch is that I'm afraid I'm gonna fall in the shower. Could you help me," I ask a little embarrassed. I know I could ask Tim too but I was scared and I wanted my big sister around.
We were all finished when Tim got down with Taylor. "Hey big boy. How did you sleep?" I ask him. "I good sleep. Food now?" He answered my question. Liz scared him because he could make full sentences. Only when he felt safe enough. Liz was a stranger so not safe. "Do you want me to grab Evie?" I ask Tim. "No, I'll do it. Just make yourself some breakfast. I'll take care of Evie," he said. I was too stressed to be hungry.
"Don't make me breakfast please. I'm too stressed to eat Liz. Don't make me eat," I whisper to her. I don't want Tim to know because he'll force me to eat. "Please tell Tim I had a few bites. I can't eat now, I will throw up if I need to eat now. Please lie for me. Just now," I beg Liz. She nods in agreement even though she prefers to see me eat a bit. I did make a smoothie so I had something.
"Look who's there Evie," I hear Tim say. "Mama, mama," she yells happily. "Hey sweet girl, give mama a hug," I say as I take her over from Tim. "Thanks babe," I say as I give him a kiss. "What time does Scarlett arrive?" I ask Lizzie. "She should arrive here within 5 minutes. Just cuddle with Evie or Taylor," she suggests. I sat down with Evie on my lap and just cuddled with her. I gave her more food than we used to do. I hope it worked because she left some food on her plate. "I eat food Evie?" Taylor asked with this sweet voice. "Yes you can buddy. Here you go," I say as I put Evie's last pieces on his plate.
"I'll go," Liz said when the doorbell rang. "Scar's here!" She shouted. "Look at those sweet kids. How are you Y/N?" She picked Evie up and looked at me. "I'm scared but I know I need it. I just need to know why I miscarried to be honest," I say to Scarlett. "Okay, be good for auntie Scarlett. Both of you," I say as I kiss them both. "We're probably gonna be back before 3. Is that okay?" I ask Scarlett. I kinda want a way out but also not. "Y/N, I will be fine. Rose is at day care and Colin is at work so I'll enjoy myself with those two. Especially because they'll be asleep for most of the time," she said laughing.
We left. Liz and I sat in the back of the car and Timmy drove. "I'm not sure if I can do this," I start to breath faster. "Y/N, breath. I know you can do it. We got you. You don't have to do this alone," Liz says to me. "You will never be on your own my love," Timmy said. He gave me a reassuring look through his mirror. I knew I was gonna be okay, I was just scared.
When we arrived at the hospital, we walked into dr. Montgomery. "Hey, you're just on time. You can come with me. Do you want them to come with you?" She asks me. "Yes please, I can't do this on my own," I say, well, I whisper.
"Y/N, you can get changed behind the screen. I'll be back in a few," dr. Montgomery said as she walked out. I got changed and sat down on the exam table. We're waiting for dr. Montgomery. "Y/N, are you okay? You need to keep breathing my love," Tim said. I didn't even notice he was standing in front of me. "I am sorry. I'm just really nervous and anxious about the results of this exam. I need to know why I miscarried," I say as I play with my rings.
"Are you ready Y/N?" Dr. Montgomery asked me. I just nod. I'm pretty anxious. "Y/N, please keep breathing will you," I hear Lizzie say. She's standing next to me and stroking my head.