10th December
2020
The three men stand solemnly, staring at Hongjoong lying on the bed. Yeosang furiously works on Hongjoong, occasional hisses of pain filling the empty atmosphere.
"I'm sorry," Seonghwa mumbles for what feels like the hundredth time in the past fifteen minutes. "I told you, it's fine. I ended up finding Jang- I mean Jihyun thanks to you. Thank you for getting her to freedom," Hongjoong smiles. The smile quickly leaves his face and he bites his lip from the pain while Yeosang continues to treat his wound.
Seonghwa still hangs his head in shame, feeling San's glare on him so strongly that he doesn't even register the fact that Hongjoong just revealed that he found his sister.
"How could you though? How long had you been working with them behind our backs? Were you ever really on our side?" San spits with his blood boiling, especially after acquiring a broken nose thanks to his teammate. Seonghwa clenches his fists, feeling an overwhelming amount of guilt.
"I only helped them escape, nothing before that. You guys still mean the most to me, I just thought that living like this was doing more harm than good to all of us. San and Jongho, it's our fault that you're both like this. Even you both deserved a normal life but..." Seonghwa's voice cracks. He shuts his mouth and tries to blink away the oncoming tears.
San lets out a loud sigh while Jongho's eyebrows furrow. "If you took that away from us, the least you could do was stick to it. We'll all be going to prison now, won't we?" Jongho asks in a quiet voice, face full of hurt.
"I-" Seonghwa begins, before he is cut off. "Whatever Seonghwa did was for the best. I'm sorry for dragging you all into this with me only for it to end like this," Hongjoong declares. His words only hurt Jongho even more.
"So you dragged us into this mess only for you to change your mind last second because of your sister? What about the rest of us? Our lives are gone now," Jongho barks, tears finally tipping over the edge.
Hongjoong can't deny the guilt in him too. "It's all my fault. Please hate me all you want, I'll take responsibility. But I also want you to better yourselves from now on. I'm really sorry. Vent out all of your regrets in the form of hatred towards me," the leader apologises once again.
Jongho wipes his tears aggressively, only for more to take their place shortly after. "That's right, I'll probably hate you for the rest of my life now. I hope that we'll get over it in the future, and maybe we will forgive you eventually since we're no angels either. But right now I really regret putting my trust into you," he sobs before storming out of Yeosang's clinic.
San scowls at Hongjoong and Seonghwa one last time. "Thanks for everything, I guess," he mumbles bitterly, still staring daggers into everyone. He also leaves, deciding to chase after Jongho and care for him.
More tears escape Hongjoong's eyes and stream down the side of his face. Seonghwa kneels down beside the bed and takes his leader's hand into his. He clutches it tightly and tries his best to not burst out crying at the sight of his suffering friend.
Yeosang finishes up and watches the two others, a heavy weight on his chest. "T-Thank you for being such a caring family. Although I also wanted to escape at some points, I'll miss everything," he utters.
"We're sorry," Hongjoong sadly says. "I hope you can have a better time with your real family at home from now on. Tell them we forced you into the gang," Seonghwa explains.
Yeosang's eyes widen. "But I voluntarily joined, I need to pay for it with you! I don't want to leave you guys already," he frantically argues, tears stinging his eyes too now. "Hwa's right, you didn't hurt anyone directly and you have a pure soul. Forget about us and live a fulfilling life," Hongjoong continues. "I can't...I can't just do that," Yeosang whimpers.
"Thank you for your service. Now go, I want to discuss something with Hwa in private," Hongjoong orders. Yeosang hesitates, not wanting to leave. He wants to stay by their side until the very end.
With a gulp, he finally turns to leave. He glances at the two gang members one last time sadly before exiting.
"What did you want to discuss?" Seonghwa asks in a soft voice, still holding onto the other's hand. Hongjoong shuffles in his place and starts to sit up, grunting with every movement. Seonghwa's breath gets caught in his throat. "You shouldn't move right now, you're injured! Lie back down," he instructs in a panic. Hongjoong raises a hand, signalling that he's alright.
He takes a few deep breaths and turns to his closest friend. The friend that has been by his side nearly every single day for the past fifteen years. The friend that has risked his life for him constantly and has followed his orders without hesitation for the majority of their lives.
His lip quivers slightly before he pulls Seonghwa in. He wraps his arms around him tightly and buries his face into his shoulder, now finally letting out all the loud sobs that have been begging to escape this whole time. His whole body shakes and he clutches Seonghwa tighter.
Startled by this sudden action, Seonghwa brings his arms around Hongjoong too in a slow manner. "I hurt my sister so much. I hurt everyone in the gang. I kept hurting my only family this whole time and now all of you hate me. I'm so sorry Hwa, I should've let you tell on me that night we met. I'm sorry. You have been with me for most of my life and I'm grateful for you, but I'm sorry," he wails.
Seonghwa has never seen him cry before so his heart shatters. Not even realising his own tears are running down his cheeks, he pulls his leader in closer. "It's okay. Let's both pay for what we've done together now. I'm still never leaving your side," he responds with a shaky voice.
The two friends cry into each other's shoulders until they hear loud knocks on the door, the faint wailing of police sirens coming from outside. A man's voice demands them to come out and tells them that they're under arrest.
Hongjoong pulls back at last with a smile on his lips, eyes puffy.
"Thank you."
23rd February
2021
Seonghwa sits in the prison courtyard, awaiting his best friend's arrival. It hadn't been too long after they arrived before Hongjoong went and caused trouble.
He still has issues with understanding that he can be in the wrong sometimes, and got into a big physical fight with his cell-mates. He should be coming out of solitary confinement today, so Seonghwa sits on a bench and waits.
He glances around at all the other buff men wandering around. He'll still need to protect Hongjoong in prison from all the enemies he's bound to make. But if it's a reason for him to be able to stay by his side, he can't complain.
At last, the other man approaches Seonghwa's bench. He seems highly annoyed, but as soon as he catches sight of Seonghwa, his face forms a massive grin.
"Hwa! I missed you!" he shouts, running to Seonghwa quickly. Seonghwa smiles back and pulls Hongjoong in for a hug. "How are you?" he asks firstly. He had been worrying about his friend's health, mostly his mental health.
"I'm feeling okay, I'm just wondering what I'll tell my psychiatrist later today." Seonghwa nods, having forgotten that today is the day for Hongjoong's weekly psychiatrist appointment. "Just tell them the truth," Seonghwa suggests.
"I can't! If I do they'll send me to jail- wait, I'm already in jail," Hongjoong begins before wheezing at himself. Seonghwa laughs along and tries to ignore the fact that they'll be stuck like this for the rest of their lives.
It's no surprise that both him and Hongjoong got a life sentence. Seonghwa was expecting it, but thinking about his future still makes him feel uneasy.
San and Jongho have a sentence of ten years each, their sentences getting shortened as Seonghwa and Hongjoong took most of the responsibility of their involvement. Still, they took many lives, which is the reason they made it into prison.
Both Jongho and San have been avoiding Hongjoong and Seonghwa like the plague, occasionally throwing them a dirty look or two as well. But Seonghwa doesn't blame them. It hurts, but he's happy that San and Jongho at least have each other in this dangerous area.
These days, Seonghwa gets much more sentimental. As soon as he got the chance, Hongjoong explained everything to Seonghwa. Everything about Jihyun.
Seonghwa had felt so much shock, and still does. He can't believe that after searching for that one girl for fifteen years straight, she had unknowingly made it to them by herself.
What's worse is how she was treated when she arrived. Seonghwa feels a pang in his chest every time he recalls how he tortured her or the amount of times he's physically and verbally abused her.
He'd always be prepared to treat her like royalty, but that is far from how reality turned out to be.
He can't even imagine the level of regret Hongjoong must be feeling. He's been trying his best to be with his friend as much as he can, knowing that he's going through a lot. Hongjoong tries to hide it, but Seonghwa can see it as clear as crystal.
A man walks in their direction suddenly and Seonghwa shoots up, preparing himself to fight anyone who even threatens to hurt Hongjoong. But the man walks past them. Seonghwa sits back down, waiting for the adrenaline pumping through his veins to calm down.
"Relax, Hwa. I can fight for myself," Hongjoong giggles. Seonghwa shakes his head. "I don't want you dirtying your hands, Joong. You've gone through enough already."
Hongjoong's mouth twists. "And you haven't?"
Seonghwa freezes. He remembers how he was so recently. Constantly conflicted. Stressed. Regretful. Pained.
Being arrested brought him feelings of dread, but along with the dread came satisfaction. He finally feels at peace now, assuring him that he's done the right thing. Ironically, being confined like this is what brought him a breath of fresh air.
"Hwa, you've been through a lot because of me. Why aren't you leaving me like everyone else?" Hongjoong wonders, unable to hide his true feelings as tears pool in his eyes.
Seonghwa's eyebrows turn down and he shuffles closer to Hongjoong again. "You've brought me a lot more joy and happiness than pain in my life. I'm grateful for you and never want to leave your side," Seonghwa utters, voice full of emotion. "I feel at home with you, no matter where we are. You're the reason why even prison isn't so bad to me."
A tear trickles down Hongjoong's cheek and he smiles.
"I'm so happy to have you."