Dearest Baby,
Mommy had a dream last night.
We’re hiking in an april snow. The kind of fairy flakes that coated the empty tree branches in sparkles - it was beautiful. The sunlight glistened, prisms of light casting rainbows on our skin. There's snow in your eyelashes and eyebrows. You pulled your dusty purple beanie down over your ears, down so far I laughed – I could barely see your face. You frolic ahead of me on the trail, bounding in fits and spurts on the mossy rocks and the blanket of leaves from last fall.
Debbie paused as she breathed, suddenly aware that she wasn't breathing at all. The coffee she made was still untouched, sitting just a few inches from her hand. She looked out and noticed that her plants outside her window weren't thriving and for a moment she thought if she would continue to write or to stand and water the plants. With a sigh, she shook her hand. Let the plants be damned.
I dreamt that you, my baby, cooked. I ate the carrot cake you made for breakfast. I traced a line from your ear to your hip bone. When I woke up this morning, I thought about your sweet smile until the water I was boiling for pasta spilled over.
Danny, you’re a firefly and a streetlight and a walk on a cool spring evening. I fall and will keep falling for you forever.
Missing you badly, baby.
The brunette sighed as she put down the pen. A groan left her lips as she ran her fingers through her hair, eventually burrying her face onto the table. What really happened? She, too, didn't know. All she knew was that she got a tattoo of Danny's name on the underside of her left breast. All she knew was that the plants she planted weren't thriving and that she had been eating the same meals for weeks. Debbie wanted to scream as the memories came flooding down through her. It was too much to absorb, and up until now, she couldn't fully believe that it did happen.
"Dannyy!!!"
That shout that she did five years ago changed her life. It was beyond traumatic and five years passed by, Debbie was still trying to unhear that scream. It was too much and reliving that moment could still shatter her bits by bits.
"No, please. No, pleaseee!!! Revive her again! Fucking do it!"
"Ma'am, please calm down. We are doing --
"Calm down? Well, fuck you because I cannot! My daughter is lying there, and you are here - telling me to fucking calm down!"
"Nurse, please call the guard. Have her removed now."
"Debs, please..."
"Don't touch me, Louise! Fucking don't!"
"Ma'am please lower your voice. We are trying to do the best that we can."
"As you should because if not, I will sue all of you."
"Hey." A kiss that dropped on her forehead and a soft, reassuring pat on her shoulder took Debbie back, "Are you okay?"
Debbie looked up. Was she okay? Sadly, she didn't know the answer too. Instead of an answer, she smiled and stood up. Those blue eyes sympathetically looked at Debbie - all too pure and full of pity, but she didn't need some pity. Not anymore.
"I am fine." She softly answered.
"Are you really, love?"
The brunette nodded, "Yes."
"I love you."
And Debbie smiled.
Danny's cries, glassware shattering, and a lot of cursing jolted Lou and Debbie awake. They both leapt from their beds and dashed to Danny's door, but when they opened it, she was nowhere to be seen. Danny's screams could be heard in the living room and so Debbie dashed downstairs without her slippers and her robe on. To say that she was shocked would be an understatement. Her glass table in the main room had been shattered. Her pricey wine collection had completely disintegrated into pieces. Broken glasses were in abundance. What was going on? They had just finished swimming on that gorgeous Saturday and were having the time of their lives, and now that? Their daughter was on the other side of the corner, completely horrified as the events unfolded through her lens. Lou and Debbie were statued by the foot of the stairs.
"Well, the perfect motherfucking couple finally woke up." Julia stated, sitting on the couch with Danny not far enough from her, "As you see, me and Danny are playing."
Debbie's mouth opened - suddenly too scared. Lou held her hand, but the blonde didn't know what to do too. Danny was very horrified and was shaking as she cried and swear to God, Debbie just wanted to run to her and hug her, but Lou stopped her; the blonde too aware what might happen if she did.
"Julia, what are you doing here?" Lou asked.
Julia, despite the tears flowing from her eyes smiled, "I miss Danny." She spoke as she looked at Danny before she shot Lou and Debbie a look, "Remember when Danny was about five, Lou? I babysat her, played with her, rocked her to sleep because Debbie, her mom, wasn't here. And swear,.." Julia sobbed, "I goddamn love Danny like my own. I love Danny like how I love you, Louise."
"Julia, are you drunk?"
"Doesn't matter."
"You are scaring my child." Debbie cut her off, "Please let me get Danny. She's crying and is so afraid."
"No!" Julia stood up, and it was when Lou and Debbie knew that she had a gun.
"Julia, please! What are you pl --"
"Shut the fuck up, Debbie! And you Louise, I have loved you too much. And I thought we were going to tie the fucking knot, until your fucking ex-wife came back!" Julia kicked the glasses with her feet already bleeding and it made Danny cried even more, "Oh, baby, stop crying! It's mama Juju." Julia ran to Danny, and held her before she looked back at Lou and Debbie, "Debbie came back and it all went fire. You left me, Lou."
"Julia, please..." Lou tried, "Put the gown down and let's talk. Danny is scared please."
"Talk? You fucking broke up with me on the phone!"
"I told you we will personally talk. I was just busy --"
"Busy fucking your ex-wife? Well, fuck you, Lou!"
"Mama please..." Danny spoke, hands shaking as she held Julia's shirt, "You are scaring me, please let me go to mommy Debbie."
"Julia, please... I am begging you." Debbie plead, tears already flowing out of her, too afraid about what might happen.
"No." Julia shook her head, "I can't explain how much I am hurt and goodness, I miss Danny." She looked down before she knelt in front of a sobbing Danny, "I missed you, baby. You miss mama?" She asked as she used the gun to trace Danny's face.
"Put the gun down, Julia! Please!"
"No." Julia looked at them before she wiped her tears, "I do not have the will to live anymore and I am taking Danny with me."
"Julia, no!"
"Let's talk, Julia! Please!"
"Mama..." Danny sobbed, her whole body shaking as she knelt in front of Julia, "Please don't kill me."
"Baby, it won't hurt." Julia cooed.
"Mommy, I am so scared." Danny cried, looking at Lou and Debbie, "Mama, please." She added as the kid turned to Julia.
"Lou, call the police." Debbie whispered although she too was out of her mind seeing Danny in her state.
But before Lou could even move, Julia yelled, "Fucking move you two and I'll kill Danny without her speaking her last words!"
"Julia..." Debbie sobbed, hands in a prayer position as she slowly knelt, "I am begging you. Please. Do not hurt my child."
"God,..." Julia laughed, "You look so pretty when you cry."
"Julia, please. Let's talk."
"No. Danny come here!" Julia dragged Danny, the little kid's feet trudging on the broken pieces of glasses, "Say your last words now." She commanded as she let Danny stood in front of her, her hand wrapped around Danny's neck, while the other was holding the gun, "Say your last words, baby."
It was all a blur. Debbie sobbed and shouted and begged. Lou tried her best, but it was all a blur. They were just taken aback when a loud bang was heard. Julia pulled the trigger and Danny collapsed on the ground. Blood came out of Danny's lips and to say that it was a heartbreak was an understatement.
"Dannyy!!!"
Another gunshots were heard, and Julia collapsed on ground. She killed herself too.
"Lou, call the ambulance, please!" Debbie sobbed, ran to where Danny was and despite all the broken glasses on the floor, she sat and scooped Danny in between her arms, "Baby, don't close your eyes please. Mommy is here." She spoke, tapping Danny's cheek; the blood slowly gushing out of Danny's head., "Louise! Quick please!"
"Mommy..." Danny spoke weakly, her little hand slowly coming to touch Debbie's lips, "You are so beautiful."
The ache in Debbie's heart bubbled, "You're more beautiful, love." She sobbed, wiping the blood that was on Danny's mouth, "Please hold on, okay? Please. Please baby, please."
It was a quick flip of the book. The ambulance arrived and Debbie and Lou had to watch as the responders proceeded to carry Danny inside the ambulance. And for the first time in Debbie's life, she prayed.
***