I haven't abandoned these one shots..
Life has been eventful but that's besides the point.
Let's get right into it.
This one shot is on a more serious note.
~*~*~*~*
Maggie threw her hands up and turned away from her husband. She wasn't about to entertain him tonight...
"Got it. I'm going to sit outside for a bit. Goodnight, Yuji.."
She sighed, placing her wine glass on the living room table. Maggie had been drinking a lot lately...
Yuji was not pleased with this response which was evident in the way he latched his hand around one of her wrists, halting her stride.
"I'm not finished speaking with you, Maggie."
Maggie pulled her arm closer to her body, defiantly.
"But I am. I don't want to argue. You're making me angry." She replied, eyes shifting from him to the staircase that could be seen from the living room entrance. Ryeo and his sisters were in their rooms and she refused to cause a scene that might arouse the suspicions of her children.
Yuji bit the inside of his lower lip.
"No running. That is was we said. I want to talk to you, Maggie. Do not run...!"
Maggie huffed, turning up her nose.
"It's late. I'm tired. Don't do this... not tonight. Let me go..."
Yuji didn't loosen his grip on her wrist until she huffed loudly, jerking her arm back with force.
"Now, Yuji! Damn!"
She exclaimed.
Yuji flared his nostrils and dropped her hand from his grip. His eyes left hers and he turned to look in the direction of the staircase as well. Thankfully, there was no sign of distress or suspicion from the children so Yuji turned back to say more to his wife only to find the spot she had previously occupied to be vacant.
Yuji ran both hands through his long hair, pushing it behind his ears while he muttered under his breath. He didn't go in the direction of the sliding patio doors, he headed for the kitchen in search of a drink..
Yuji was upset and his anger only seemed to be rising. There was a dampness to his skin as if the rage were literally cooking him. The plain, cotton black tee he was wearing was discarded quickly, crumbled angrily into a balled up mass.
Yuji felt bitter. They had always been able to talk about their problems with one another before but what was with the secretive behavior now? Maggie was withdrawing from him. Both of them were aware and the hushed conversations she'd sneak off to their bathroom have on the phone very late at night when she thought he was sleeping didn't help.
It all came to a head when Yuji had taken her into his arms only for her to lamely return his affection..
"So... who is he?"
He had asked.
Maggie had given him a puzzled look.
"The man that seems to be on your mind. It obviously isn't me. Who is he, Maggie?"
He continued.
That is how it had all started but now.. Now the house was quiet. Each of them had spent the rest of the evening apart but it was far from over.
Maggie was twisting the wedding band around her finger, fidgeting with it while she laid on the farthest side of the bed. Arguing with Yuji was more taxing and stressful these days. They weren't kids. In fact, Yuji was supposed to be celebrating his 37th birthday next month while Maggie had just welcomed her 35th... Both of them were in their late 30s and Ryeo had turned 9..
Maggie sighed, reaching to turn off the lamp on her side table when Yuji entered the room, closing it and locking it behind him. His slanted eyes were hooded, connecting with hers until she broke eye contact by bringing her blanket up to her neck and turning her whole body toward the direction of the wall.
Yuji's eyes lingered on her before he pursed his lips, heading to the bedroom's bathroom to scrub the stench of hard liquor from his mouth. Yuji completed the task slowly, scrubbing his teeth until his gums bled... He was determined to get his answers. This would end tonight.
Yuji exited the bathroom and discarded his sweatpants quickly. His body was hot all over as if his blood was literally boiling. He didn't slide in next to her which was habitual for him. Yuji sat at the end of the bed, the farthest away from her and placed both hands on his knees. He stared at the tattoos on his hand and his wedding band..
"I just want to know his name. What have I done, Maggie? You won't speak to me... You look at me but you don't see me... You act like you don't even want to touch me. So tell me... what have I done? What cost me my marriage and your love? At least give me that.."
He said slowly.
Maggie sat up, pushing the blanket away and moved to sit on the edge of her bed.
"Yuji..."
Yuji took a deep breath.
"Are we getting a divorce Maggie, yes or no?"
Maggie put her face in her hands and started to sniffle.
".. Aki Shikuzu.."
Yuji clenched his fists and shut his eyes tightly.
His chest started to rise and fall quickly.
"Son of a bitch!"
"Yuji stop... He's helping me. I-"
But Yuji wasn't hearing it. He'd tuned her out and unloaded his bottled anger at the mention of a unknown man's name. All of his insecurities swam to the surface. He stood up quickly from the bed and started to pace back and forth.
"And you couldn't get that help from me? Maggie.. I'm right here and I've been here for years! Are you fucking him?" He spoke angrily.
"Aki Shikuzu is a therapist, Yuji. You won't even let me explain-"!
"A therapist? You haven't needed one for years and now-"
Maggie fixed him with a hurt look, clutching her chest. She already felt shitty about the whole situation but Yuji's outburst cut her to the core.
"And now I'm having dreams again! I'm paranoid, I'm on edge, I can't eat!"
She yelled at him.
"I saw him. Hikaru... I saw him..."
Yuji shut his mouth quickly and felt his stomach drop.. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. Regret and pain fell over his face. He approached his wife's side of the bed slowly with his arms stretched out wide to embrace her.
"Maggie.. Why-"
He started to ask but Maggie just raised her hand, shaking her head.
"I thought I was doing fine but the past doesn't want to stay buried. I've got a house, a husband, two beautiful children.."
She spoke tearfully, wiping tears from her cheeks.
She stopped talking and let herself cry. Yuji watched her from a distance feeling like the biggest piece of shit.. Was he that oblivious to her suffering? What were the signs he had so clearly missed?
"So Forgive me for having to see a therapist after all these years. Dr. Shikuzu explained that it was normal for me to distance myself from you. It's a fight, flight or freeze response. It shouldn't last very long. Forgive me for not knowing how to feel. Forgive me for feeling everything.. For feeling too much.."
she rushed in a defeated, sarcastic tone.
"I mean it was nine years ago, right? Nine years and I can't even talk about my rapist with my husband. I didn't want to even say his name... Everything was going so well.. I- I couldn't!"
She sobbed.
Yuji approached her slowly and deliberately.
"Can I hold you?" He asked desperately. Memories of Maggie battered and bruised invaded his head reawakening the fear of that ordeal within him.
"I didn't know, Maggie. Let me hold you..!" He begged.
Maggie swallowed the lump in her throat and wrapped her arms around herself.
"I- I don't know. I don't want to be touched.. Why don't I want you to hold me?! I love you Yuji. I love you so much!"
She weeped.
"My own body is abandoning me...!"
Yuji nodded, taking her shaking hands into his own and rubbing soothing circles into the skin with his thumbs.
"I'm so sorry, Maggie..."
Yuji told her. And he meant it from the bottom of his heart. Yuji was so ashamed of himself and it broke his heart knowing that there was truly nothing he could do.
Maggie took deep breaths trying to calm herself down but all she could do is cry.
*************************************************
Something a little different. You thought it was smut huh?
Sometimes I really don't know how to end these one shots.
Thoughts?
As always,
thank you, for reading, commenting and voting.
_Maddie 💗