I mean could people be even more obvious?
I was walking down the corridor and I kid you not, everyone was staring at me and whispering shit.
Yes, Xander and I broke up, GET OVER IT!
Speaking of Xander, he's such an asshole!
I've caught him making out with girls in almost every corner of this fucking school.
Earlier I went to the bathroom and when I opened the stall door, I found Xander and some chick on the cheerleading team in the middle of a very heated make-out session.
Both of them just smirked at me.
I was ready to claw that bitches eyes out.
Speaking of eyes, both their eyes were red and they smelled like weed.
I wanted to fucking cry but I have no right since I was the one who broke up with him.
So, I just walked out.
As for Ryan, she's still avoiding me.
I miss her so fucking much it physically hurts me.
During the past couple of weeks, I've spent most of my time cleaning out the house, signing documents about my grandmother, and just taking time for myself.
It's what I've needed.
But now I'm ready to apologize for being such a bitch and getting my best friend back.
I'm not sure if I even have a chance with Xander.
I'm hoping they'll forgive me but there's always a chance they won't.
Today's my first day back at work and it's just Ryan and I working.
So as you can imagine, it's fucking awkward.
I noticed Axton dropped her off today which is weird because she usually takes the subway.
Oh, and she always comes to school with Xander.
I want to ask her about it but I don't know how.
The diner is surprisingly slow today and Ryan and I are currently doing nothing, just staring at each other now and then.
I skate over to the booth she's currently sitting in and sit across from her.
"Can- can we talk?" I ask.
"Depends? Are you gonna call me unimportant again?"
"No, I wanted to apologize."
She doesn't say anything so I continue.
"Ry, you know I love you more than anything and I'm so fucking sorry for pushing you away. It's just- I didn't want to go through the pain of losing everyone again. I mean you remember what happened when my mom and dad died. So, I thought that leaving everyone first would be for the best."
"Arya, did you really think I was gonna leave you? I was there the first time and I sure as hell am gonna be there the second. I'll be there for all your good and bad moments because I fucking love you, Arya. Yes, I love Axton too but you are the first person I have ever loved...not in a romantic way but you get what I mean." She says.
Tears begin to cloud my eyes and a small laugh erupts from me.
"I'm an idiot," I mumble.
She gets up and takes a seat next to me.
"Yes you are but that's just one thing I love about you. So please just let me be here for you and stop pushing me away." She says.
She's right, it's okay to be dependent sometimes.
I start breaking down and she immediately wraps her arms around me and places a kiss on my forehead.
"I love you Ry."
"I love you too Ari." She mumbles.
"So am I forgiven?" I ask.
"Yes, you know I could never stay mad at you." She laughs.
We continue to sit there and talk.
"I uh I have to tell you something." She mumbles.
"What's up?"
"I'm living with Axton and Xander."
Well, that explains everything.
"Wow, and your parents allowed it?" I laugh.
"No." She frowns.
"What's wrong Ryan? You're scaring me."
And now she's the one breaking down.
"My- my parents abused me."
"WHAT?!" I gasp.
No, no I would have known.
I would have seen her struggling.
I would have seen the bruises.
"It's been going on for years and I just couldn't take it anymore. So I told Axton and he basically forced me to live with him."
Oh my god.
Oh my fucking god.
"I can't believe I didn't notice," I mumble while running my hands through my hair.
"Arya-"
"No! I should have known! What kind of friend am I!"
"Arya, it's not your fault."
"Not my fault? I've known you for almost ten years and I never fucking noticed that my best friend was being abused by her own parents!"
"Is that why you always spent Christmas with us?" I ask.
She nods.
"And why you always wanted to sleep over?"
She nods again.
Oh my fucking god.
"Ry- why didn't you tell me? Do you not trust me?" I whisper.
"Of course I do! It's just- I was fucking scared! I was scared about my parents finding out. I was scared that you would find it weird and leave me. I WAS TERRIFIED!" She yells frustratingly.
"I'm so fucking sorry Ry." I pull her in for a tight hug.
"So am I." She whispers.
"Are you okay now though?" I ask.
"I'm perfect. Axton treats me like a princess." She laughs.
Doesn't surprise me, Axton is obsessed with her.
I'm pretty sure he would take a bullet for her.
"How's Xander?" I ask after a while.
"He's uh- He's not great." She says.
Fuck.
"Arya all he wanted to do is be there for you and you pushed him away. You have to apologize." She says.
"I know."
"Has he had sex-"
"No! He refuses to sleep with any girl but he has made out with a bunch of them."
"Oh I know, I can see." I scoff.
"Well, Xander's the one picking me up today..."
"I will talk to him."
"Good."
I tell her about what I've been doing over the past couple of weeks and she tells me about how she's been trying to tell Axton she loves him but keeps chickening out.
Soon enough our shift is over and we both whip our heads to the door and watch Xander walk in.
Oh god.
My breath hitches and my palms start sweating.
He's wearing a matching set of black sweats and a hoodie with sunglasses on.
"You got this Arya!" She whispers before heading to the back to grab her stuff.
I slowly get up and approach him.
"Hey," I mumble.
He just nods his head in acknowledgment before looking back at his phone.
"Can we talk?" I ask.
"Oh so now you want to talk?" He scoffs.
"Please."
And for a second I thought I saw his eyes flash with remorse but that quickly disappeared.
"Can't I gotta drop Ryan home and get ready for my date."
"Date?"
"Yeah, it's that thing single people do."
"I know what a date is." I roll my eyes.
"Anyways, I wanted to apologize." I continue.
"It's fine." He mumbles.
"It is?"
"Yeah, you made me realize that relationships fucking suck." He laughs.
Oh.
"Oh."
I notice Ryan in the kitchen giving me a sympathetic look.
"Yeah well, it was good seeing you, Arya. Can you tell Ryan to meet me in the car?" He says while walking out.
Well, that didn't go as planned.
"I'm sorry Arya." Ryan mumbles.
I quickly wipe away my tears and face her.
"It's fine. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Totally! Text me." She says.
"Will do!" I laugh.
I notice Xander staring at me before he backs out and leaves.
Fuck.
You did this to yourself, Ari.
I packed up all my things and started heading over to my car.
I freeze when I see a box on it.
When I get closer I gasp.
It's all the stuff I've ever left at Xander's house.
Clothes, make-up, jewelry, etc.
There's a note.
Dear Arya,
I'm writing this because frankly, it's way too hard to talk to you in person. I'm sorry about your grandma and I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't talk to me about it. Even though I am upset with you, I'm also thankful for all that you've done for me. Thank you for never giving up on me, thank you for being there for me when Axton and my parents weren't, and most importantly, thank you for teaching me how to love. I see a big future for you and I know you'll be something big.
Love,
Xander
I immediately start breaking down and keep rereading the note.
He loved me?
God, I really fucked up.
I get into the car and start beating the shit out of my steering wheel.
He fucking loved me and I was too fucking blind to see it!
I blew my fucking chance!
For fuck's sake.
He was open about everything while I just kept everything to myself.
And now he's gone.
He's fucking gone because I pushed him away.
I feel my throat close up and my heart actually hurts.
Thank you Xander Mitchell for being the first guy to overlook my stubbornness and loving me and all my flaws.
After a few more minutes, I finally begin to drive home while blasting a sad fucking playlist.
I don't deserve happy music!
I pull into my driveway and quickly walk in with the box.
I throw it to the floor causing all the stuff to fall out.
"Oh my god," I murmured.
I walked over to the pile and opened a Ziploc bag that was all the way on the bottom of the box.
It's my grandmother's sweater and a picture of my family and me.
Where did he get this?
Oh great, another note.
Throwing away your feelings isn't gonna help with anything trust me, I know.
I can't believe he-
My brain actually can't process this.
What the fuck is wrong with me!
I pull out the rest of my things and they all smell like him.
Oh god, that isn't helping.
I noticed that he accidentally placed one of his own hoodies in the pile.
I walk over to my bed and just hug it close to me.
It's almost like he's here with me.
My eyes start feeling heavy and I begin to find myself falling asleep.
Asleep with Xander's hoodie in my arms.
----------Author's Note----------
Y'all this chapter made me cry so fucking hard I can't
I miss them together!
Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!
-Pradabagg
Word Count: 1598