Heyo, human beings from outer space!
So, I originally had a plan way different from how this turned out. But I like it.
I do include a song and some lyrics to the song, and this same song is at the end of the story. Obviously, I didn't write this song and I don't own it, I just thought it fit the situation.
Read on if you dare.
"You know, if you drink too much caf, you'll be in the med-bay for a month," Rex warned.
"Ugh, leave me alone," Ahsoka groaned, rubbing her eyes.
"But seriously, that amount of caf for someone your age is really unhealthy," Echo agreed with Rex.
Ahsoka glared at Echo. "Well, what do you want me to do, sleep?"
"Um, yeah," Echo and Rex said at the same time.
"Hah," Ahsoka laughed. "I don't got time for that. Sleep. Outrageous."
Rex and Echo exchanged concerned looks. "Was that supposed to be funny?"
"Uh... maybe," Ahsoka sipped her caf.
"Great. Her sense of humour is broken and she's losing her mind," Echo muttered.
"Helloooo!" Fives boomed obnoxiously, dropping his tray on the table and plopping down on the bench next to Echo. "Whach'a talkin' 'bout?"
"Oh, just the Commander's broken humour... kind of like yours," Echo snickered.
"Rude!" Fives whined.
"And her serious lack of sleep," Echo added.
Fives looked at Ahsoka and yelped. "Aaak! You look like a zombie!"
"You kinda do," Echo tilted his head.
Ahsoka rolled her eyes and glared at them.
"Wait, how long's it been since you slept?" Rex questioned.
"I have no idea. A week, maybe?" Ahsoka rolled her eyes again at their expressions.
"That's way too long," Echo told her.
"So you've said, like, twenty times," Ahsoka groaned.
"Why, though?" Fives questioned her. "You know how bad it is to deprive yourself of sleep."
"I just can't," Ahsoka said, looking down at the tabletop. "I just lay there no matter how tired I am and feel restless and bored."
"Have you gotten pills from Kix?" Rex suggested.
"Yeah, they worked for a while. Then they stopped working," Ahsoka shrugged.
"So why didn't you get different ones?" Echo inquired.
"I did. Those stopped working, too."
"Whoah," Fives mused. "You really don't want to sleep, do you?"
"Apparently my mind doesn't," Ashoka scoffed. "After those stopped working, I went and got a third bottle of new ones. Those stopped working, too."
"So did you go back a fourth time?" Echo asked.
"No," Ahsoka answered. "I'm too embarrassed to go back a fourth time. I don't even know why Kix would have that many types of sleeping pills."
"But you tried three different kinds?" Rex raised his brow.
"Yeah," Ahsoka slouched forward a little more, taking a swig of her caf.
The clones looked at each other.
"That's a lot of pills," Rex whispered.
"What are we going to do with her?" Echo groaned.
"Maybe I should just stun her," Fives suggested, hand on his blaster.
"What?! N–"
"Oooh, who are we stunning?" Jesse joined them at the table.
"The commander," Fives grinned.
"No, We a—"
"Count me in," Jesse said in a sing-song voice, cutting off Rex.
"Jesse, we aren't–"
"Ready?" Jesse lifted his blaster.
"NO!" Rex shouted, smacking Jesse's blaster down. "Stand down, trooper. We are not stunning the commander!"
"Aw, a shame," Jesse pouted.
Ahsoka laughed, "You were actually going to stun me?"
"Whoah, you look awful," Jesse gasped, looking at Ahsoka for the first time. "Did a zombie bite you?"
"Ugh, for the last time, I am not a Zombie! What is it with you all and zombies?!" Ahsoka snapped.
"Well sorry for telling the truth," Jesse pouted, crossing his arms over his chest and turning his nose up.
Ahsoka sipped her caf again, then dropped her head onto the table. She looked miserable.
"We should really do something, though," Echo whispered, shooting a glare at Fives. "Other than stunning the commander."
"Ugh. Okay," Fives sighed.
"Ooh!" Jesse beamed. "How about we drag her down to the med-bay and tell Kix to sedate her?"
"No," Echo huffed. "That's almost as bad as stunning her."
"How about we make her inhale chloroform," suggested Fives brightly.
"What is wrong with you?!" Rex hissed.
"Lots of things," Echo rolled his eyes.
"Ooh! How about we lock her in the maintenance closet and make the darkness put her to sleep," Jesse said.
"No."
"I know!" Fives held a finger up. "We could make R2 electrocute her until she passes out!"
"No!"
"I could hit her on a pressure point," Jesse volunteered. "Really hard. That'll put her out for a while."
"NO!"
"What if we hypnotize her?" Fives asked in a creepy voice.
"I don't think we could if we tried."
"I've got it!" Jesse declared. "We could put a whole bunch of fuzzy blankets and fluffy, puffy pillows in the cargo bay and make her lay on it and then sing her to sleep!"
"Jesse," Rex looked Jesse square in the face.
Jesse beamed. Was Rex about to praise him for having a good idea?
"That is the stupidest idea you have spat out of your fat mouth today," Rex deadpanned.
"You think of something, then," Jesse pouted.
Ahsoka laughed. "You're all idiots."
The clones looked up from the small circle they'd been whispering.
"You know I can hear every word you're saying," Ahsoka pointed to her head. "Montrals, remember?"
"Which idea was the best?" questioned Fives expectantly.
"They're all stupid," Ahsoka laughed. "Sing me to sleep? Heh, I heard Fives singing in the shower once and he sounded like a Tuskin Rader."
Fives reddened.
"What was he singing?" Jesse smirked.
"Oh Shenandoah," Ahsoka snorted. "Of all the songs. And it was hardly recognizable."
Jesse and Echo burst out laughing. Jesse slipped from the bench and flopped onto the floor. His kenching didn't subside and he rolled around and around on the floor, clutching his stomach.
Echo stayed on the bench and put his head down on the table. Fives turned as red as the reddest fruit anyone had ever seen.
"I didn't think it sounded that bad..." Fives defended weakly.
The two other clones only laughed harder.
"Okay, okay," Jesse huffed, climbing onto the bench. "Ouch, I hurt."
"I think we're done," Echo panted.
"Hey, look," Fives elbowed Echo and pointed at Ahsoka.
Three pairs of eyes turned to their commander. Ahsoka's head was down on the table and her eyes were closed. Fives poked her, but she didn't respond.
"Hah, I told you I could do it," Fives said victoriously.
"Do what?" Echo asked.
"Make her go to sleep. I'm such a great singer," Fives stood up and put his hands on his hips. He smiled an unrealistically wide grin.
"You haven't even sung anything yet," Jesse rolled his eyes.
"Oh yeah?" Fives climbed up onto the tabletop. "Then I'll change that."
"Fives get off the table," Rex groaned.
"Wait, wait, wait," Fives pleaded. "It's gonna be really good."
"No, Fives–"
"Oh, ShEnAndOAh, I lOng tO sEE yOU!" Fives screeched horribly. He was off-key and his tone sounded like a Tusken Raider with a cold.
Jesse and Echo clasped their hands over their ears. Rex reached across the table and wrapped his hands around Ahsoka's montrals.
"'wAAAAAAAAy, yOU rOllIng rIvErs!"
"Make him stop," pleaded Jesse.
"Oh, ShEnAndOAh, I lOng tO sEE yOU!"
"My ears," Echo whimpered.
"'wAAAAAAAy, I'm bOUnd AwAY!"
"Noooo!" Jessie cried, clutching his ears. "It hurts, it hurts!"
"'crOOOOOs thE wIIIIde–"
"Fives, that's enough! Stand down, trooper! Off the table," Rex hollered.
Fives clamped his mouth shut and glanced at Rex. The captain sounded so angry. Fives obediently jumped off the table and plopped solemnly down on the bench. If he had been a puppy, his tail would be hanging down between his legs.
"Look what you've done," Rex gritted out quietly.
Fives looked over at Ahsoka. Her bleary eyes had opened.
"Oops," Fives peeped.
Ahsoka's eyes shut again. Everyone let out a sigh of relief.
"Fives, never do that again. That was horrible," Rex deadpanned.
"Okay," Fives whimpered.
"I'm taking the commander to her quarters before anything else disastrous can happen," Rex announced.
"We're going to go see Kix to see if he can fix our bleeding eardrums," Echo decided. Jesse nodded, and the two brothers left the mess hall.
Fives sat there alone for a while. "But it wasn't that bad..."
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Word Count: 1,530
Published: Apr. 28, 2022
Oh holy moons, I love this story for no reason.
Anyways, the song "Oh Shanendough" is written by Captain Robert Chamblet Adams and the following version is sung by Peter Hollens. When I was choosing a song that Fives would sing in the shower, this was the first song that popped into my mind.
I'm sorry if I got this song permanently stuck in your head. Especially those of you who knew this song before I introduced it to you today.
I chose this specific recording because I can totally imagine Fives singing it and thinking he sounds as amazing as this a capella group while, in reality, sounding like a donkey. Holy moons, I'm dying imagining Fives doing just that.
Anyways, requests are open, feel free to message me or make a comment if you have any ideas.
Thanks for reading!
Bye, peoples!