I'm walking down the hall after getting my books, not minding anyone around me. When I turn around the corner to get to my next class, I practically bump into someone.
Me bumping into people I don't know is another talent of mine. I lose myself in my own thoughts and this is what happens.
Every single time. I should have learned to watch where I'm going by now.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't see you." I say to the girl I bumped on.
"That's ok." She smiles. "Actually, I was just looking for you."
"Me?" I frown, because, well, I don't know her. "Are you sure? Maybe you're looking for someone else."
I thought it was rude to ask "do I know you?", especially because she probably is genuinely mistaking me with someone else, but she shakes her head.
"Nope, I was really looking for you, Alex. Follow me." How does she know my name?
She grabs my hand, which is weird, looks both ways and leads the way to an empty classroom.
"I don't mean to sound weird, but am I in trouble?" She laughs at my question, letting go of my hand as soon as we enter the room.
"You're funny. No, you're not in trouble. I'm Anna, Bennett's friend."
"Bennett's friend?" Who is... oh. OH!
I remember her. She is the one who has a boyfriend and keeps giving Bennett glances whenever I'm around, like they have their own way of communicating.
"Sorry to drag you to this room, but Bennett would kill me if he saw me talking to you."
I look at her with another questioning look, because why couldn't she talk to me?
"Don't get me wrong, I wanted to talk to you way sooner, but he's a bit protective when it comes to his feelings." She pauses and I guess she notices the look on my face. "I must sound like nonsense, let me explain."
"Yes, please." I plea, because I truly don't understand what's going on.
"I know you two kissed." I widen my eyes and gasp, feeling all the air leave my lungs.
"You know? How do you..." I don't even know how to ask. I'm beyond embarrassed and confused. Bennett is not the type that goes telling this kind of things to people, or so I thought...
"He told me. You don't have to worry, I won't say anything to anyone. Bennett doesn't talk much, but we've been friends for a while. Actually, he's a very good friend of my boyfriend's, that's how we met. I knew he was acting off and it took some convincing, but somehow, he finally opened up."
I nod, feeling a pit in my stomach that another girl can make him talk about his things other than me. Well, I guess that's not my privilege anymore. It hasn't been for a while anyway.
This is so not important right now.
I have so many mixed feelings about this though.
"Why are you talking to me now? If you wanted to do this for a while, why now?"
"Because of the kiss. Don't get me wrong, but I told him a million times that you were not into him and he should move on, but when he told me you two kissed, I realized I was wrong. You like him too."
I gasp again, and laugh and choke, all at the same time.
Ok, there are so many things wrong with what is happening right now. Like, to start, what does she mean he should move on? Move on with what? Second, it was just a kiss, nothing else.
"No, no, no. You got this wrong. I don't like him, I'm dating his brother." I firmly state.
"Yet, you kissed him." She quickly gets back at me and I feel my cheeks red.
"I know and trust me, it was a mistake. Also, Bennett has a girlfriend, so there's--"
"Bennett doesn't have a girlfriend. He never had one." She shakes her head vigorously, cutting me off.
I pause. If they are close friends, she would know about Kate.
"He does, he said it himself when his family was having lunch with my family this weekend."
"I know about the lunch." I frown deeply. He really opened up to her to tell all of this. Maybe he's not that much of a quiet guy. "It was a misunderstanding. He was just jealous of you and--"
"Jealous of me?" It's my time to cut her off. "No Anna, he was jealous of Dylan, because he has all the attention and Bennett is different."
She looks at me blinking one, two, three times as if figuring me out.
"When Bennett said you are oblivious, he really meant it. Damn."
"Should I feel offended by this?" I'm starting to lose my patience with her, even if she's actually being nice.
"Ok, I guess I have to be more straightforward. Bennett likes you, Alex. Actually, he more than likes you and I wanted to talk to you because I know he's been miserable since that day at the auditorium. For the first time, he was hopeful that you two could actually happen, but you shut him down by still wanting to be with Dylan."
I take a few steps back, like, literally, until I hit the wall, hugging my book, as a sort of protection.
I'm kind of angry because a complete stranger seems to know a lot more than me about what's going on in Bennett's mind. I'm also pissed because of how much she knows about my relationship... friendship... whatever with him.
I'm also confused because hell, she can't go around cornering people to say someone likes them. And last but not least, I'm sad, because she said Bennett is feeling miserable and I don't want to be the cause of that.
"Look, you seem nice, you really do, but I don't know you and you can't say that Bennett likes me just like you're telling me a cake recipe. This is huge and also not true, I don't know where you got this nonsense from or what he told you and I understand you're trying to get into my head, it's working by the way, but if you know the whole story, you know I've been in love with his brother since I can remember. I like Bennett, he's my friend, but I should have never kissed him." I blunt all at once, not giving her a chance to interrupt me.
She nods, serious this time.
"I understand. Sorry for all of this, I don't want to be in the middle of you two, I just want Bennett to be happy and right now, he's the opposite of that." I soften my angry expression, that doesn't look angry at all, it's more like a creepy cute one, according to my dad.
"I want him to be happy too." I fit the floor and say this candidly. Bennett is special to me and I truly want him to find happiness.
She finally smiles.
"Maybe you can sit with us at lunch some day. I'd like to get to know you better." Well, she does seem to be a nice person, regardless of the shit she's saying.
"Yeah, I guess." Even if I'm not smart enough to sit with them. She's wearing the math club t-shirt, so yeah, she's definitely in the super smart category, like Bennett.
The bell rings right after and she makes her way to leave the room, but before she does, she turns to me.
"Just think about what I said, ok?" With a final smile, she's out the door and I stay there for a few more moments, contemplating what just happened.
I can't say I paid attention to the next two periods, because my mind was in another place.
He was just jealous of you.
Bennett likes you, Alex.
I just want Bennett to be happy.
Her words keep replaying in my mind, over and over again. Could all of this be true?
I want to talk to him to clear this up, but I can't. Not until I know what is going on in my own mind and decide how I feel about it.
I look at him from afar in the hallway. He's alone in his locker, seeming more focused than necessary to get a book. He doesn't seem happy and for a second I want to go there and rip the earphones from him just to know what he's listening to.
A lame excuse to talk to him to be honest, which is not going to happen.
For a second, I also want to go there and... shit, I suddenly just want to kiss him again.
NO, Alex. This is so wrong.
He turns around, but doesn't notice me staring at him from the other end of the hall.
He looks so handsome that I just wonder why it took me so long to realize this.
That's the problem with this school. Everyone is focused on the wrong things, the wrong people, so we don't notice the quiet ones, who are freaking amazing.
"Alex, right?" Oh shit! I startle as I was distracted looking at him and suddenly Cara is in front of me.
I look both ways, wondering if she's really talking to me.
"Yeah... can I help you?" I ask completely unsure, because what can I say?
Cara is one of the popular girls at Millburn High. I don't think she's mean, or too mean, but I've never talked to her, so I'm not so sure, I've just heard the rumors.
People say that she's actually cool, but she can be a real bitch when she really doesn't like someone. The problem is that apparently she doesn't like a lot of people.
I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.
"You're dating Dylan." She states. It's not a question.
"Yeah... I guess. I mean, yes, we're dating. it's been a while actually." I say in an attempt to figure out why she's bringing this up now and what she wants.
"I know. It's interesting. I guess I'm just curious." I remain silent waiting for her to continue. I'm not going to ask why she's curious, even if I want to know. When I don't ask, she explains. "I mean, I'm curious as to why he's into you. Don't get me wrong, you seem... ok, but I know his type and you're not exactly it."
I should probably feel offended, but surprisingly, I'm not.
She's right. I'm not his type. Cara is. She's popular, drop dead gorgeous, perfect makeup, high heels and all.
I feel better that I'm wearing a nice outfit today and at least some makeup. I guess I realized just now that I'm slowly going back to my old style, you know, I'm not wearing dresses that often anymore and my converse is on my feet more often lately rather than the cute flats Sarah made me buy last summer, what feels like forever ago.
That's also not important right now.
"Well, we've known each other our whole lives, so I guess I just know him too well." That's all I can say.
"I thought I knew him well too. We were together before he decided to date you, you know?"
I sense she's hurt or something. I knew they were together and he broke up with her a few weeks before our movie marathon.
Everyone knows about the break up. He said he wanted to go to college as a free man, but well, he started dating me, so I guess it was just an excuse to break up with her.
I used to envy her for being his girlfriend, but now, I feel bad for her. She looks like she's not fine.
"Ok... why are you bringing this up to me?" I needed to ask. She keeps fitting the floor like she's about to cry, but a second later, she composes herself again.
"I thought he was going to get rid of you shortly after you started dating. It's what he usually does, but I saw you too at a party last week and I was intrigued to see you're still together."
I don't know if I should feel offended or proud that she didn't think we would last that long. I mean, if you consider a few months too long. I guess it is a long time in Dylan's book.
"We are doing fine." I say and she nods.
I hope she doesn't slap me, she doesn't seem to be into hurting people. Well, except Dylan when they broke up, as everyone was talking about the red mark she left on his cheek.
"Just be careful. Dylan is a player, it's who he is, he will cheat on you and break up with you when you least expect." I nod, because I don't want to say that I don't think this is going to happen, as I still don't want to get slapped.
Yes, I saw Dylan being flirty with other girls, but it's not because he was interested in them. He's the quarterback of the team, he needs to give them attention, right?
"Did he already tell you that he loves you?" I don't reply, but I guess my face answers for me, so she smiles. "I knew it. He said it to me after one month of dating. He uses these words quite frequently, you know? They're just words to him."
I frown. I don't use the L-word loosely, so I believed him when he said it. No, I will not let her ruin the magic of being loved by Dylan. I don't care what she says.
"Ok, well, I said what I wanted to say, so just be careful. You seem... nice."
I nod at the same time that she turns around throwing her really long hair over her shoulder.
What the hell is going on today? First Bennett's friend, now Cara.
What comes next? Mr. Perkins will say I'm his favorite student?
No, this would be too much. He would never say that.
What a weird day.
I told Lilly everything that happened and she was paying attention with wide eyes.
"Your life is becoming a Netflix show. I can't wait for the next episodes." She said, making fun of me.
"I'm glad you think it's funny. Isn't it creepy that both of them came to talk to me on the same day?"
"I think it's just a coincidence, but damn, a weird one, indeed. Not my place to say, but I think they are both right. Finally someone told you that Bennet likes you."
"What do you mean?" I asked her, because the last thing I need today is another bomb thrown at me.
She was about to say something when the bell rang.
"Too bad, I have to go!" She stood up and practically ran away from me.
"Lilly, wait!" I yell, but she's already gone.
What the hell is going on?
The remaining periods were exactly the same as the morning, which means I didn't pay attention. No wonder why I have a hard time keeping my GPA high.
I need to change this. With that in mind, I stop by at the library to get some books I need to complete an assignment.
I could google it, but I learned from Bennett that books are still the best way to learn. It's easier to keep focus and not get distracted with the internet.
Which I totally do, I start searching for what I need and suddenly I'm looking for inspiration on Pinterest.
I make my way to the library and after Mrs. Milder tells me where what I need is, I go to the hall at the end corner.
I search for the serial number until I find it and guess what? It's at the very top shelf. I try reaching it, but after a few ungraceful jumps and staying on my tip toe, it's impossible to get.
I'm stretching myself as much as possible and I'm almost getting it...
"Let me help. Here." A tall figure that I'd recognize anywhere at this point, is suddenly holding the book.
Bennett had zero trouble getting the book and once he hands it to me, I'm a bit annoyed. Not with him, but with the damn book.
"Thanks. I didn't need help." I say, taking my hair away from my face.
"Clearly." He's mocking me and he's not even pretending he's not.
"Why are you here?"
"It's a library, my natural habitat." I raise an eyebrow. He makes jokes now?
I start sweating, not sure why. The only thing that comes to my mind is what Anna said. Bennett likes you, Alex.
"Why are you even helping me?" Is this a way of asking if he likes me? I don't even know if I want to ask this though. "I thought we were ignoring each other."
"We are, but I think we're passed this discussion. I've said many times that I care about you and believe me, it pisses me off that I can't avoid helping you.'' Here it is, the redness on my cheeks. I hope he doesn't notice it. ''Anyway, I'm just getting you a book."
"I--" I'm cut off by his phone ringing. He is quick in turning it off because if there's one thing Bennett hates, it's noise in the library.
He holds the phone that is still vibrating in his hand, looking at the screen with a blank expression.
"You should get that." He quickly looks at me and nods, looking back at the device. "Is it Kate?"
What the hell is wrong with me? I shouldn't have asked this. It's not my damn business. Think before you speak Alex, for fuck's sake.
Instead of getting mad at me for being nosy, like I thought he would, he looks at me with a questioning look.
"How did you know?" Oh, so it is Kate.
I feel my breathing become heavy and I want to grab the phone from his hand and smash it on the floor. Or maybe on his face.
"Never mind." With that, I run outside the library, not bothering to make a quiet exit, so when Mrs. Milder told me to shush and not slam the door, she was lucky I didn't tell her to go to hell.
I make my way to the parking lot where my bike is and I'm just glad I don't have a ride today. My parents are busy at work, Lilly has the play rehearsal and Bennett is obviously not a choice.
I ride home furiously. Really, all I can see is red because I'm angry. Fuming to be more precise.
I knew it. It's all bullshit, this whole "Bennett likes you, he's miserable since you kissed, bla bla bla", all plain bullshit.
I don't know what Anna's intentions were, but Bennett obviously doesn't like me. If he did, he wouldn't be receiving calls from his girlfriend.
Ok, I know I'm dating as well, but it's different. You don't see my friends going around telling other people - telling Bennett - that I like them when in fact, it's not true.
This was a fucking weird day, but I won't let this ruin it for me.
I have to let go of what Anna said, make sure Dylan doesn't cheat on me as Cara is so sure he will - not that it should matter, I cheated on him as well - and it will all be fine.
If Lilly is right and my life is becoming a Netflix show, it will get cancelled, because I'm done with the drama.
.......................
Hello Lovely Readers,
I was supposed to update yesterday, but I couldn't, so here it is today's chapter. My apologies!
So YES, Dylan does say he loves girls a lot, which makes us wonder if he really meant it when he said he loves Alex.
What did you think about Anna?
Get ready for a rollercoaster with the next chapters!!! I can't wait for what's going to happen. I'm like AAAAHHHHH!!!!
Let me know your thoughts!!
Love always,
Me