He is the most free when he's flying. That's why he strived for a society where he can fly as freely as he can, without getting worried about any villains attacking normal citizens, without any restrictions, with so much free time in hand.
He is the most free when he stretches out those vermillion fierce wings without feeling the leash around him that would pull him right back when he had gone too far.
A few days after the interview, Hawks knew something like this would happen. His answer to the last question and the last thing he said had trended on the internet. Some were disappointed by what he said, others defended him. But Hawks could really care less about trivial things like that.
"I could care less about being popular," he said, turning his phone off. Reading comments online will do him no good, he wasn't born to please everyone after all. There were just times when his job needed him to flatter people, but it doesn't mean he enjoys it.
As he stood on top of the tower, he looked around the City. Compared to where he stood, everything felt so small. The breeze up there felt good, not that warm and not that cold.
He stood there, observing everyone down. The people are busy with their daily lives, some are running late for work or school, catching the bus or train, some are walking aimlessly, strolling down the sidewalk. Up there Hawks can see different kinds of people going about their different kinds of lives.
But none of them matter to him.
"Where are you," he muttered, eyes searching for a certain person. He had always been searching for five years. "Y/n,"
There were times when he wished his quirk allows him to command the wind, to carry his voice to where you are so you will be able to hear him and follow his voice that will lead you to him. He took a step back, leaning back as he looked up at the sky.
"You're alive, right?"
Hawks remembered that night as clear as a bright summer morning. He couldn't forget, how could he forget when everything changed that day. He had a family, a wife and two children. They were living in a quiet neighborhood and Hawks was ready to file his resignation in the Commission just so he could focus on his family.
But everything changed that night, he lost you, and he had to raise his kids on his own. He didn't know what to do for the first two years, he had to learn everything from scratch. He couldn't even ask his mother, because what does his mother know anyways? She didn't even take care of Hawks when he was a kid aside from buying him that one Endeavor toy because it was cheaper than All Might.
Hawks had to learn everything, taking care of two kids was never an easy job but he wouldn't trade it for anything else.
"That night, if I got back faster, you wouldn't have been taken."
Regret, he had carried that feeling for years, weighing down on him every time he flies. If he had gotten back earlier, faster, perhaps you would have been with them now. But there's no way to turn back time, and the only thing he can do is to move forward and to never stop looking for you.
"Alright," he said, pushing himself forward. "That's enough reminiscing for now. Time to get back on duty."
After another long day of work, Hawks came back home, a paper bag full of groceries that he went to buy on his way home. When he came back, even before he could announce his return, Keishi and Keita came running up to him.
"Papa's home!" Keishi yelled.
"Papa!" followed by his younger brother Keita.
"Thank you for staying for an extra hour," Hawks said and the sitter bowed her head before she took her leave while Hawks headed to the kitchen, the twins trudging after him.
"You two didn't give the sitter a hard time?"
"Nope," Keishi said, climbing up his chair as Hawks put the paper bag down on the table before he picked up Keita and set him on his chair beside his brother.
While Hawks was busy putting some food inside the fridge, Keishi looked inside one of the paper bags and saw the chips. But he just barely got his hand on it when Hawks suddenly spoke.
"Put that down, Keishi."
Keishi stopped abruptly before he handed the bag of chips to his little brother who instinctively held it as Hawks turned around.
"No papa, Shi-chan gave it to Ta-chan."
"I know," Hawks said, making Keishi's jaw drop as he looked between Hawks and Keita.
"B-But how..."
"I have eyes at the back of my head."
Keita suddenly gasped. "Papa has eyes at the back of his head."
"I wanna see it!" Keishi said in protest.
"The eyes are closed now so you can't see it," Hawks said, walking up to the two as he took the bag of chips. "Now you can't eat junk food before dinner, got it? It's unhealthy."
"If it's unhealthy, why does papa buy it?" Keishi asked.
"You're right, maybe I shouldn't buy junk food anymore."
"Eh?! No, papa!" the twins said in unison as Hawks put the chips inside the top cabinet before he started to make dinner.
It's not like he's never going to buy them their guilty pleasure food, but he has to learn when to give them those kinds of food. He didn't spend weeks reading those parenting books for nothing. Disciplining them is one of the many keys after all, how many keys are there anyways?
While Hawks is busy with the twins' food, the two are playing with each other, trying to keep themselves entertained while their dad is busy. At least the two seem to get along pretty well. And Hawks knew it's because of their personalities. If both of them are dominant in nature, they would be fighting a lot trying to see who wins and who will submit.
But in this case, it's always Keita who usually follows Keishi, whether that's a good thing or not Hawks wouldn't presume anything for now. They're kids, after all. And a lot of things will change while they're growing up.
"Here's your food," Hawks said, putting two bowls on the table in front of them.
"Ha, I win again! One more Ta-chan. Rock paper sci–"
"Stop playing and eat," Hawks said, his voice lace with authority, cutting them off as he stood in front with his arms across his chest. "Eat," he repeated.
The kids, even though reluctant, followed their dad's order as they took their little spoon and started to dig in. Hawks let out a sigh, unfolding his arms as his shoulders slumped down and he sat on the chair, leaning back.
"Papa is not going to eat?" Keishi asked, his head tilted to the side. When his little brother looked up, he saw Hawks with his head leaned back.
Keita took a spoonful of rice and lifted his arm towards Hawks, leaning forward to get closer to his dad. "Papa, eat," he said.
Hawks slowly sat up and adjusted himself on the chair before he looked at the two in front, both outstretching their arms holding a spoonful of food towards him. For a second Hawks looked at them, eyes blinking before he smiled.
"You two, papa's fine. I'm not hungry. You two should finish your meal, no leftovers."
"But if papa doesn't eat, how can papa fight villains," Keishi asked. "Papa has to be strong!"
"Right, right," Keita said, nodding his head a few times, a look of determination in his eyes. "Papa needs to eat. Eating makes us stronger!"
With a light chuckle, Hawks held Keita's hand and took a bite of the food he's offering before going to Keishi and did the same. When Hawks swallowed the food he let out a sigh.
"Ah, I'm so full already. Maybe Shi-chan and Ta-chan put magic on their food that one bite of each made papa full already."
The twins laughed before they started to eat again while Hawks sat there, watching the twins in front. His smile slowly vanished as his eyes traveled ahead. In this spacious kitchen, something is always missing. A mother who cooks dinner for her husband who comes home after a long day of hero work, and for her kids who will happily give her a spoonful of food as well.
Not only in this part, but in this whole abode. Something significant is always missing. No matter how big Hawks' house is, no matter how spacious it is, he still couldn't possibly fill that missing piece all on his own.
He wants to fill it by finding you, he needs to find you, before the twins are old enough that they will be flying on their own, that they will hardly be home. Before then, while they are still these adorable, cute, troublemakers, Hawks need to find you.
A few hours after dinner, the twins had finally exhausted their energy for the day and fell asleep in the living room. Hawks carried them both back in their room before he headed outside the balcony.
He stood there, leaning on the railing as he looked ahead. The sky is dark with stars flickering on and off from the distance. And Hawks thought to himself, he may not have found you for the last five years but he's sure of one thing.
Both you and him are seeing the same stars and as long as both of you are under the same sky, Hawks will never give up on looking for you. Because he knows you're still out there, somewhere out there and he gets the feeling that he will find you soon.
"At least before our twins turn six."
Because he made a promise, that once they turn six, he will teach them how to fly.