♥ Enjoy the (somewhat) lightheartedness for now, because lemme tell u it will not last:)
♥ T/W/C/W: Y/n has panic attack (noted when it begins), depression, talk of suicide/murder/mention of cancer, death
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"What the fu- SASHA!!!", you exclaim as you're rudely awakened by the brunette snatching the blanket off your body, groaning at the light coming from the windows.
"RIGHT BACK AT YOU, you disappeared on us last night! And you weren't replying to my texts this morning! I wanted to make sure you weren't DEAD in a DITCH somewhere! You're welcome for being such a good friend.", she says proudly, standing over your limp body.
Fuck. You must have passed out last night after getting in, forgetting to text Sasha you were home safe. Surprised she wasn't more upset, since you used to threaten your friends if they didn't send you the "I'm home" text.
Last night was a blur, your ass fell asleep on the couch, still in Reiner's shirt.
Sasha makes her way to the kitchen, grabbing a glass from the cupboards. She proceeds to pour some water, seeing the immobilized state you're in.
"Fuck dude, I was minked last night, my bad", rubbing your eyes you croak out, "How the hell did you get in?", realizing she had to get past the concierge, that was quite strict, and also into your apartment.
"Yeah I'm not surprised, you drank enough to kill an adult elephant.", she snorts, handing you the glass of water and some advil.
The sun is shining so fucking bright, you want to close the blinds but you're too hungover to move. Sitting up and shielding your eyes with one hand you squint, you put the pill in your mouth and swallow, followed by chugging the whole glass, spilling half of it on yourself in the process.
"And, well, I just told the guy at the front desk that my girlfriend was cheating on me and that I needed to go up immediately to bust her, and if he didn't I'd complain he was discriminating against me, as your lesbian lover", she says cooly, getting comfy on your lounge chair, "and your door was unlocked so I just let myself in."
You start choking on your water when she said that.
"You- *cough* you said wh- *cough*", holding your chest, coughing out the water, as she laughs.
"When you're done being dramatic, go get dressed, we're meeting the guys at the diner."
Immediately your eyes go wide and you stop coughing, magically. Food sounds really good right now.
"Well why didn't you start with that!", as you get up, your legs feel like jello, cursing the jungle juice. Why was it so good yet so deadly?
"If you checked your texts you would have known!", which she was probably right. However, due to circumstances beyond your control, you were too incapacitated.
Groggily, you walk over into your room to change. Sasha was looking casual, so you decided to follow suit.
"Speaking of cheating," the girl starts from the other room, "You're cheating on me with Reiner now?", she jokes.
Letting out a snort, "Yeah as if, he was nice enough to let me raid his closet for a dry shirt last night,", taking said shirt off, you replace it with a light gray hoodie, pulling on your black nike joggers, "Fuck me, I may have promised him we'd go to the gym later today", you remember, silently cursing your drunk self.
"Interesting... Well... What about with Eren?"
Fuck. Did she see you? There's no way, she was passed out with Niccolo. Nothing happened, but it is a little suspicious that you didn't text anyone.
That piece of shit, was he telling people you two hooked up or something? For revenge for your spin the bottle stunt? He was definitely capable of it. If you ever see him again you're gonna kill him. Why would he go ar-
"Historia said she saw you two come downstairs and he had your clothes in his hands. I told her she was full of shit but I wanted to ask you", Sasha says from the other room, interrupting your thoughts.
"Nah, he's kind of an ass like you guys said. He must have felt sorry for how pathetically drunk I was and offered to drive me home", you say. No point in lying, plus, that was the truth after all. You weren't really sure why he gave you a ride home. Not like you guys were friends.
Fucking Historia. Was she following him? Or you? Sneaky little bitch.
"Did he do something to you? You have to be careful around him, I don't want you getting hurt. I told him to leave you alone", she says, and you can hear the concern in her voice. You loved how much Sasha cared for you, even though you guys have only been friends for a short period. And honestly, you felt the same.
"Nothing I can't handle, I've dealt with worse", which was true, you've had your fair share of egotistical, entitled rich boys.
"I'm sure you can, but he's just been such a dick to girls recently. He can be super charming, I've seen him in action, and girls eat it up, it's honestly impressive,", she says, "heck if he wasn't one of my oldest friends, and I didn't know him as well as I do, I'm sure I'd fall for it too"
"Yeah, well, personally I like guys that are actually nice to me." Lies. Rather, it was true in theory. But you thrived on the chase. There's nothing that makes your heart race more than a challenge.
But you swore that this time things would be different. You wouldn't get wrapped around in that stuff. If a guy came along, you'd be sure to walk away as soon as you felt like you were reverting back to old ways.
Even if he maybe was a tad boring, you needed a nice guy. You deserved a nice guy. And thinking about it, Jean fit that mold. He was sweet, you guys had good banter, not to mention how good looking he was. Maybe he wasn't particularly exciting, but he did give you butterflies.
Sometimes it's hard to discern excitement from anxiety, you remind yourself. After all, the feeling in your stomach was the same for both.
"Look, I love Eren, he's like family to me. I know this isn't really him, and he's just... handling emotions as best he can after all... he only ever started being like this since- oh, hold on, WE'RE LITERALLY WALKING OVER RIGHT NOW CONNIE,", she yells into her phone, "Come on y/n, I'm gonna throw up I'm so hungry.", catching the keys Sasha threw at you, you toss your shoes on mid walk, remembering to lock the door behind you.
Since what? What happened and why is everyone so secretive about it? One can only wonder. You were curious, but you didn't want to seem like you were snooping around. He seemed to have everything he wanted, what could have possibly happened to have him act out this way. Maybe he got rejected by the love of his life or something... Still, not an excuse to be an asshole.
The two of you walk over to Mo's diner, chatting about school and stuff that happened at the party. Walking in, you guys find Connie, Marco, and Jean sitting at the same table as the first time you met them.
"There's my favorite girl," Connie says, beaming at the sight of you, earning a glare from Jean and a laugh from you.
"Heyyyy what about me!", Sasha pouts, "You've been demoted, call me once you're as godly at pong as y/n", he purses his lips, as she sits down across from the three boys.
Still standing, you toss your arm around Jean's shoulders, since he's luckily sitting in the aisle of the booth. His arm reaches around your waist to hug you back, and you smirk knowing your breasts are touching his cheek as he leans in for the hug. He was probably too tired to realize it before it happened, but the blush that spread over his cheeks made you feel accomplished.
Tits pressed up on Jean's face? Not a bad way to start the day, might as well add some spice to it.
You remember how disappointed you were that he didn't get a chance to kiss you last night, but honestly, you're also glad he didn't. It'll be more special when it happens naturally, so you can remember it and cherish it. That is, if he still wants to kiss you while sober.
You take your hand and reach over to Marco, fluffing his hair with your hand, acknowledging him as well, since he was between the other two boys.
"What took you guys so long?", Jean asks, looking at you.
"Sasha broke into my apartment and woke me up by waterboarding me, I think it was an assassination attempt.", you reply dramatically.
"Obviously I didn't do a good enough job...", she jokes, rolling her eyes.
As soon as you take your seat next to Sasha, she leans over to lay on your shoulder, closing her eyes, the tiredness from last night finally hitting her.
"Wondering what could have tired you out so much last night", you insinuate, wiggling your eyebrows.
"Yeah Sash, you get your cardio in for the year?", Connie adds, poking fun at her. Sasha, like you, has not gotten any play in a long time. According to her, she's just very picky. As she should be honestly, she's such a pure soul she deserves the best.
"Don't act like you didn't completely strike out with that freshman last night," Jean and Marco snicker, "She would have folded for anyone I still have no idea how you fumbled the bag so hard bro", you must have missed this after you left, but you were curious what happened.
Connie groans and throws his head in his hands as the two other boys are still howling. You and Sasha give each other a confused look.
Jean briefly stops laughing to explain, "Picture this, it's 4am, Marco and I are in the living room watching the Bachelorette high off our asses. Next thing you know, some poor girl busts out of Connie's room, and straight up leaves, slamming his door,", he can barely talk from laughing, "This guy comes out half naked, runs out after her, sans shoes, she's crying, Marco and I are so fried at this point we have no idea what's going on", he continues.
Picturing Jean and Marco watching the Bachelorette in itself was hilarious, but you can only imagine what it was like seeing Connie running after a girl, half naked nonetheless.
"Let's just say we had an equipment malfunction", Connie mumbles through his hands, "Dude she was so mad it's not even funny.", oh. my. god.
You and Sasha erupt into a laugh, one of those true belly laughs. People were starting to stare since you guys were being so loud, but you couldn't contain it.
"Springer no fucking way you had whiskey dick?", you manage to blurt out, holding on to your stomach, your abs hurt from laughing so hard.
"I blame it on you and Marco, since I was drinking for both him and myself during pong, not my fault!", he puts his hands up in defense. That's right, Marco doesn't drink usually, just smokes mostly.
"I'm sure I can ask the pharmacy kids for some viagra for your ED,", Marco jokes, patting Connie on the shoulder, him and Jean buckling over once again.
"You two have a lot of balls, at least I was able to bring someone home,", Connie starts, "Jean, are you ever gonna give in to Pieck? I almost slipped on the snail trail she left while she was talking to you", ah yes, Pieck. You have yet to meet her formally, but you already have a feeling you won't like her much.
Patiently awaiting his response, which you were hoping would be in your favor, you try not to look like it's bothering you too much.
Jean scoffs at Connie's statement, "She honestly scares me. Plus, I have my eye on someone else...", he wavers, shooting you a sly smile. You felt a blush creep up on your face, your cheeks pulling the corners of your mouth into a smile. Crisis averted. Trying to convince yourself he's not just saying that, you decide to enjoy the implied flattery. Stop overthinking.
"Okay Casanova... How about you, what's your excuse, Virgin Mary?", Connie nudges Marco.
"I'm saving myself for y/n.", Marco replies, leaning back and crossing his arms, shooting you a wide grin, as everyone groaned in harmony.
You roll your eyes, sending him an air kiss. You knew he was kidding, but Marco was a cutie, so you didn't mind the banter.
Mikasa had told you that Marco was still a virgin, to which no one apparently knew why. He wasn't religious, so that was ruled out. Maybe he wanted to do it with someone he loved, or was dating? No judgment, you were just curious, since he could genuinely get any girls he wanted.
Marco is honestly beautiful, his skin tan, big brown eyes that get really small when he smiles, his freckles from the kisses of a hundred angels, one of the kindest, purest souls. He was similar to Sasha in that way.
"I don't know how Jaeger does it, man,", Connie interrupts your train of thought, "He has girls crawling all over him, and they keep coming back!", he exclaims, hands in the air.
"Connie has a terrible rate of return", Jean remarks, motioning to the boy.
"We get it Fluttershy, you're in finance,", Connie mocks, "They just can't handle the Con man is all it is", he says proudly, puffing out his chest. No way he just called Jean a My Little Pony. The horse joke runs so deep.
"So were those girls that were hanging off him last night his previous hookups? Busy guy, huh", trying to make the question sound natural or play it off as a joke? There really wasn't any way to segue from that, you were mentally slapping yourself. Great, now they're gonna think you're interested in Eren or something.
"The little blonde one was the girl from last night actually! I figured if she'd get with Eren surely she'd get with me, I'm obviously so much better in every way", Connie jokes.
Interesting. You couldn't help but wonder why they came back either... Although, your guys' moment by the bathroom was... electric, for lack of better terms. Now that you're sober and can properly process what had happened, you're embarrassed to admit that you almost fell for his facade.
What would have happened had you not stopped him? Zoning out, you imagine him picking you up, bringing you into the bathroom, and bending you over the counter... What if he pulled your panties down, and had his way with you..
Great heavens, you gotta stop. He was bad news. And rude. And had an attitude. And baggage. And who knows how many girls would want your head if something happened between you two. But also what if he made you watch yourself in the mirror as he fucked you senseless over the sink?
"Sasha?", a male voice snaps you back into reality, and you feel the girl bounce up from your shoulder.
"N-Niccolo! What're you doing here?", frazzled, she wipes the bit of drool that collected on the corner of her mouth as she was dozing off on your shoulder. You and the boys all giggling at the site of her nervousness to talk to the guy, whose face she was sucking off a mere 12 hours ago, not to mention.
"I, uh, got a part time job here as a cook to help pay for school!", he starts explaining, Sasha's doe eyes never leaving his, "Well, I oughta run I'm already late on my first day, but, uh, good to see you guys!" God he was so nervous it was adorable, you shoot him a reassuring smile.
"Text me later!", Sasha blurts out as he's leaving, to which he gives her a shy smile back, a pink tinge on his cheeks.
"Oh Niccolo! Oh oh oh oh oh!", Connie's mouth is in an O shape and he starts moaning and panting, "Niccolo give me your baguette!"
"Shut it, limp dick, before I cut it off myself", Sasha scowls, "But to answer your previous question, nothing happened, we just made out...", she announces with a frown, sulking back into your shoulder.
"You're a brick Sasha", Connie shakes his head.
*************************************************
After breakfast, you texted Reiner saying you'd go to the gym with him, as promised, but you needed some recovery time. He was nice enough to say he'd come and pick you up.
A two hour nap and cold shower later and you were getting ready to go.
Reiner and you had gotten really close. It feels like you guys have been friends all your life. He surely treats you like it. Although you aren't one to openly share feelings, he makes you feel comfortable, in a way that you know you could come to him if you ever needed advice, or if you were in trouble.
And the same goes for him, you wanted to make it known you were there for him, and that you see him as someone close and important to you.
If that meant taking the back seat about Historia, then that's what you'd do. As long as she didn't hurt him. Because then your fist is gonna have a date with her face.
Your phone buzzes just as you finish grabbing your stuff, Reiner saying he's by your place.
Walking out, you notice him standing in front of his car, waiting for you. Of course he drives a Wrangler. Honestly, you'd be lying if you said it wasn't fitting for him.
He has on his signature cropped t-shirt and athletic shorts. His blonde hair tousled and slight scruff made him look really handsome. Truly the only man who can pull it off.
"Hey, squish", Reiner says as he sees you, embracing you in a big hug, as always. He smells like sandalwood, pine, and a little bit like sweat, but, in like, a hot and manly way.
His shirt lifted even more when he stretched his arms out to hug you, his abs protruding. Reiner was built like a fucking greek statue, you respected his work ethic and discipline so much. Maybe he'll be a good influence on you.
"I swear every time I see you there's a few more of these", you joke, motioning to his abs as you make your way to the passenger seat.
"You're telling me! I know how much harder it is for women to keep lean, cause of hormones and fat stores and all that, you look amazing,", he blushes, "I mean, not that you wouldn't look amazing with more weight, I just mean it's impressive, knowing you have to work twice as hard.", he stutters out as he sits in the driver's seat.
You giggle a little, seeing him nervous. He was so sweet, of course he'd think of it that way. We love a feminist king.
"That came out wrong, I'm sorry, I'll stop talking now" he starts to apologize.
"No don't be, I know what you mean, it's very thoughtful of you, thank you", you smile gently, trying to put him at ease, Reiner visibly relaxing.
Maybe he's not the best with words, but his intent is pure.
"Thank you for having me last night, by the way. I think I might have to recruit you as my number one pong partner", you add.
"Well, thank you for coming, and making my night better," Reiner starts, both hands on the wheel, eyes locked on the road, "After you left I had to deal with poor Bert throwing up, guy is a certified lightweight", he laughs, shaking his head, "but yeah we always have parties, our next big one is homecoming in a few weeks, it'll be even bigger than last night"
Poor Bert, you didn't get to talk to him much, but he seemed like a sweetheart as well, although much quieter than all of them. You couldn't imagine him playing such an aggressive sport as football.
"That's sweet of you to take care of him, you're a really good friend,", you praise him, having noticed over time how much words of affirmation seem to mean to him. But it was also true, not everyone would do that for someone. Lord knows you've had your fair share of solo pukes.
"So, what's going on with you and Kirstein?", eyes still on the road. You were used to guys driving fast with you in the car, showing off, or just being reckless. Watching him from the side, you admired how responsible he was proving to be, especially having you in the car.
"He's a really nice guy honestly, I need some stability like that right now,", you start, "Absolutely awful pong partner though", Reiner laughs.
"Good to know he's not a threat to the dream team," nodding, "You keep saying that, commenting how nice everyone is. Not something you're used to, eh?", insightful question from him.
"Guess you could say that. I've sort of had to fight my way through life a lot. You guys make me feel relaxed, for once...", stopping yourself, realizing no one wants to hear your sob story.
"Well, I'm glad to hear that. Everyone really likes you, y/n. We all want you to feel welcome, you're one of us...", he trails off. Your heart feels weird. Warm. Glowing, even. You notice your chest hasn't been as tight as it usually is the past few days.
"Even Historia? She doesn't seem to like me very much", a thin line spreading across your lips.
Reiner lets out a chuckle, "Even her. I know she's not the easiest to get along with at all times, but she's actually a good girl. But then again, I guess I'm a bit biased..."
"What's going on with that, by the way? I saw you guys flirting up a storm last night", nudging him with your elbow.
His face is bright red right now, which is just amplified by his fair skin tone.
"Um, well, I'm not sure honestly. I asked her out a few times freshman year, but she always had some sort of excuse. I guess I just took my cue to leave it, but, recently she seems to be showing more interest? I'm thinking of giving it another shot", you hope it's genuine, and not cause she wants to make Eren jealous.
You'll give her the benefit of the doubt, for now.
"Awww Rei!! I wish you could see how red your face is right now, you're so in love,", you tease the blonde boy, "but, if you need any help or to talk about it, I'm always here"
He moves his mouth to try and protest, but he silently admits defeat.
Reiner pulls up the gym parking and reverses the car into the spot.
"Oh, and I just have to wash your shirt and I'll get it back to you this week, if that's cool?"
"It's yours, keep it", he smiles.
All the guys here are so nice. And thoughtful. And caring. So why the fuck are you thinking about the only one that isn't any of those things?
*************************************************
The hangover workout was brutal. Both of you were surprised neither threw up. Reiner rewarded the two of you with post-workout smoothies, his treat.
After dropping you home, you thanked your building had an elevator, since your legs were out of commission.
Throwing your clothes into the washing machine, you take your second shower of the day, seeing as you were sweating enough for five grown adults.
It's early evening by now, you put on some fuzzy socks, black Calvin Klein boxers, and an old white t-shirt to get comfy. Putting on a face mask and grabbing a glass of white wine, you decide to have a chill Saturday night in. Lighting a candle, you grab the remote to get ready to binge some anime.
That is, until you heard a loud knock on the door.
You weren't expecting anyone, and if you were, they'd probably text you they were coming over.
Putting the wine glass down, you grab a knife from the kitchen just in case, before tip toeing to the door.
They pound the door again.
You put the knife behind your back, putting your ear on the door to see if you can hear who it is, bracing yourself.
"Open the fucking door, y/n, I can literally hear you", the voice commands. Fuck... Is that.. Eren? What was he doing here?
You whip the door open, "What the fuck are you doing here?", you demand.
"Nice to see you too, leatherface", he snorts, "Nice outfit", knife still in hand behind your back, you pull the hem of your boxers down with your free hand. Fuck, you still had your sheet mask on. He couldn't have come at a worse moment.
Leaning onto the door frame, "How'd you even get up here?", your eyebrows knit together questioning him.
"If you let me in I'll tell you my ways", he smirks, eyeing your body up and down.
Your eyes turn into slits, analyzing him. Not like you really had a choice, so you move out of the doorway, letting him in. Also, you wanted to know what could he possibly want?
Your eyes never leave him, from the moment he walks in, to when takes his shoes off, to when he sits down on your couch.
Walking over to the kitchen, you try to put the knife down inconspicuously.
"You fucking psycho, were you gonna stab me?", eyes wide, shocked expression.
Whoops..
"You're the psycho, coming to my place unannounced," fucking weirdo, "Plus, I would have made it look like an accident", you smirk.
He stares at you silently, unsure of what to say. Tossing the sheet mask into the trash can, you make your way to sit next to him on the couch, pulling your feet up, turning to face him.
Holding your knees in, "So?", eyebrows raised, wondering how he got in, and why he was here in the first place.
"Well, I told the concierge my girlfriend was going into labor and I had to be let up immediately", staring at you ever so intently, he shoots you a grin.
"Why does everyone keep calling me their girlfriend to the doorman!!! If I get evicted I'm blaming it on you", groaning, putting your head in your hands. Is this a joke?
Eren's face visibly falls.
"Yeah, which boyfriend was it today, Mr. Split Personality or horseface?", he scoffs, subtly frowning. What was his issue? None of his business, anyway.
"Both", shooting him a smile. Eren's hands balling into fists.
"I'm kidding holy shit, it was just Sash. She literally broke into my apartment this morning. Not that it's of any concern to you", Eren relaxes ever so slightly, still glaring. He's looking at you, but he seems to be lost in thought.
"You have a staring problem, you know that?", you snap him back into reality.
"Yeah, well you talk back too much...", he starts, "and I'm not looking at you, you just happen to be in the way", finally looking away.
God his jaw was so sharp... His hair was let loose, black cap on, black tshirt, black jacket, black jeans.... He was really feeding into the whole darkness, fuck the world thing, huh.
"Whatever, why are you here?", stay strong. Don't get lost in his beautiful eyes, that are still somehow glowing bright as ever, even in the dim candlelight.
"I found your license", pulling the small plastic card from his pocket. You asked around all day but no one seemed to have seen it. When did it fall out of your bra? Maybe when you and Jean got naked miled...
"Holy shit no way? Where was it, I was looking everywhere for it!", grabbing it from him, grateful not having to get a new one.
"Must've fallen out when your little boyfriend was carrying you", his jaw clenching, he leans back into the couch, putting his hands in his pockets.
"You fucking weirdo that's how long you've had it, why didn't you just give it to me last night?", inquiring, confused look on your face.
"I must have forgotten", still averting his gaze, he looks over to the windows.
"You liar, you just wanted an excuse to come see me. Could have just said that from the start", you tease him.
"Just wanted to spite Kirstein," turning his head to you, "show him I could get his girl alone before he could", cocky expression all over his face. You feel the heat rise in your cheeks, stomach tumbling.
He was so infuriating. Why was he so obsessed with who you were talking to? Not that you even were.
Jean's girl? You're no one's girl, you're your own person. Who does he think he is?
Okay fine, being his girl would be.... alright. But you weren't anyones to have at the moment. Not Jean's for that matter, let alone Reiner's.
"Are you... jealous, Eren?", batting your eyelashes, you coo, emphasizing his name.
"Please, as if I would ever be jealous of that idiot", Eren spews, why so rude for no reason? Did he just come here to be annoying? You weren't even going to entertain that comment.
Scrutinizing his face instead, you being the one staring now. His side profile looked as good as it did last night in the car. Strong jaw, Adam's apple bobbing as he spoke, dark chestnut hair almost touching his shoulders.
Although neither of you spoke for the moment, it was a comfortable silence, yet again. You didn't feel like you had to speak, or fill the silence, like you usually do, rambling away to avoid awkward lapses in conversation. Instead, you just observed.
"So, you have your license, is your car here?", switching the topic. Truth is, you haven't driven in a while. You missed it, driving. It was a little bit of a touchy subject for you, seeing as cars and going for drives was something you and your dad bonded over a lot.
"Well, coming from the city, you don't really need a car to get around, so I don't have one right now,", you reply.
"Mm.. well, if you could drive anything, what would it be", he continues, nodding to himself.
"Oh easy, my dream car would have to be an '85 Countach.", you state grinning ear to ear. You remember seeing one when you were a kid, when you and your dad would sit in the rich neighborhoods, car-watching. A happy memory.
"A Countach? What are you, five? It looks like a lego toy car", he scoffs.
"Well, I want one. And I'll buy it myself in due time. And when I get one, don't come asking me for rides", he shifts in his seat, turning his body slightly towards you.
"You're gonna buy a 200,000$ car?", Eren questions, looking skeptical.
"Yup. Once I graduate summa cum laude and open my own law firm, that bad boy is mine. I'll be sure to drive down your street to spite you", you joke.
Haha, cum. Sorry. What were we talking about again?
"You wanna go to law school? Didn't peg you to be smart like that", his gaze returning to yours.
I'll peg you if you ask nicely aha haaaa
"Ah well you see, I'm just a triple threat like that, smart, funny, and hot.", earning a scoff from Eren, "but, uh, you never told me what you study?", you pry, curious as ever.
"I'm in finance", of course he is. He sulks into the couch slightly.
"Surprise, surprise... soooo, would you say you're more of a Jordan Belfort or Patrick Bateman, then?", earning a chuckle from him.
"Neither, both those guys are losers.", Eren fiddles with the hem of his shirt.
True. You're surprised he was self-aware enough to know that, and not worship them like most guys.
"Fair.. well, do you like what you're studying at least?", getting into business definitely opened career options, but you found it extremely boring.
"It's alright, I guess... It's not what I really wanna do...", he trails off, "not to mention I have this professor, this Smith guy, failed my last assignment for no reason...", Eren scowls.
"Well, what do you wanna do? Why not do it?", you question.
"You ask too many questions,", shaking his head, "at the end of the day it doesn't matter, I promised my parents I'd finish school."
"That's fair I guess... but, I do think a person should always follow their passions, you only have one shot at this life stuff right, why not spend it doing something you like y'know?", more so stating rather than questioning. Eren stays silent, still playing with his shirt.
"And, uh, Professor Smith you say? Isn't he an English professor?", you try and withhold a laugh.
Why? Well, Eren, poor boy, not realizing Professor Smith, is in fact, your uncle. He's the reason you're at the university in the first place.
We'll get back to that.
You decided to toy with him, not wanting to spill yet.
"Yeah, it's required for whatever reason, the guy has a stick up his ass I swear", he leans back, letting go of his shirt, "But maybe I just need someone smart like you to tutor me", nodding at you, cheeky grin.
You lean towards him, now sitting on your shins, putting the back of your palm against his forehead, pretending to take his temperature.
"Wait, are you feeling okay? Are you sick or something? Was that actually a compliment that came out of your mouth? Hell must have frozen over,", you gasp dramatically, "Anyways, there's probably no help for you", still hovering near him, your hand falls to your side.
His icy glare travels from your eyes, to your lips, your chest, down the rest of your body, stopping at your bare legs.
Wonder what he's thinking about right now.
His tongue wets his lips slightly, making the area between your legs throb. You're so close to him, memories of the prior night flood your mind.
Eren's right hand inches up your knee gently, finding a place on your left thigh. He drags the pads of his fingers up and down, painfully slow.
All the confidence you had dissipated under his touch.
You feel frozen at this moment. He makes you feel as though time has stopped entirely.
For some reason, this felt so wrong, but so good. Why did it feel so foreign?
Guys have touched you before, obviously, but this felt, different.
Intentional.
You had to remind yourself not to fall for his gimmicks. As fun as fucking him could be, you didn't wanna be just another random girl.
To be honest, as much as you would also have fun using him and then discarding him, something's telling you you might not be able to do that with him, not yet knowing why. You knew you had to be careful.
His fingers inched up to the hem of your boxers, which he started toying with. He put the material between his index and middle finger, dragging the hem back and forth.
Eren's cold fingers against your hot skin felt electric. Being so touch starved, even this small form of contact felt amazing. You don't even realize you've been holding your breath.
More, Eren, please....
His fingers kept moving back and forth, grazing the crevice where your hip meets your thigh, Eren's eyes locked on your body. That spot is so sensitive for some reason, no one's ever touched you there before, and it's so close to your aching core.
You find yourself clenching around nothing, silently hoping, begging for more. His movements caused the fabric to hike up your hip, revealing more and more to him.
But, as much as it was turning you on, you had to stop it. He was playing you. Like a fucking fiddle. This is the second time you almost gave in.
"I don't know if my other boyfriends would be happy with you doing this", cockiness written all over your face.
Eren's eyes immediately burn into yours, it was one of the most intense glares he's given you thus far. They went as dark as they did last night.
He rips his hand away from you, abruptly getting up, anger written on his face.
Should have known he'd be a dick about a joke like that. Can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen. Why was he the only one allowed to make jokes like that?
"Eren, I was kidding, come on", you beckon, rolling your eyes, stuck to the couch, trying to remedy the situation.
Without a word, he storms out of your apartment, slamming the door.
That was one of the weirdest encounters experienced to date.
The two of you were having a good convo and then all of a sudden he had to ruin it by being an asshole.
Whatever. If he wants to be a baby, so be it.
You're turning a new leaf. The old you might have gone after him, apologized for the comment, been a pushover.
But you're older now, more experienced, and actually have some respect for yourself. Not to mention, there's no reason for him to get mad over a silly joke, one that he started nonetheless...
There was a part of you that still wanted to run after him. Some habits die hard, but you just had to stay in control.
Maybe that's what he wanted, he wanted you to go after him.
You weren't about to give him any sort of satisfaction.
Instead, you returned to what you wanted to do in the first place, relax and watch some TV.
And try to forget about the gorgeous man you could have had eating out of your palm.
*************************************************
The next morning is spent cleaning and prepping schoolwork for the upcoming week. You were grateful to be so busy that you didn't even have time to think about the things that were stressing you out. The day went by so quickly, evening approaching.
Your phone buzzes, checking it, you see a message from Connie.
King Con 🍆
hey sweetcheeks
y/n
wassup sexyyyyy
King Con🍆
cum thru to girls house tn for sesh
y/n
i'll cum for u springer😮💨
King Con🍆
thats my girl
7pm bby
wanna pick up w me a bit before
Y/n
anything for u
King Con🍆
bet ill scoop u 6:30ish
wear something tight😏
You chuckle to yourself and roll your eyes at his comment. Connie was obviously hot, but he was only a friend to you, and vice versa.
It was only 3pm so you had a few hours to relax, you decide to put on one of your comfort anime's; Kamisama Kiss, which you've already watched 7 times over.
When is it MY TURN TO BE HAPPY!!!! Where's my Tomoe.... God, I've seen what you've done for others...
After a few episodes, your eyes slowly close, leading you into a deep slumber.
You're suddenly awoken mid wet dream. About fucking CONNIE of all people. It was actually... really good... Let's just forget this ever happened. Anyways.
Checking the time on your phone in your frazzled state, realizing it's already 6:25pm and the cheeky devil himself would be there to pick you up soon.
Getting dressed quickly, you pull on some distressed black dad jeans and a black nike crew neck.
Connie shoots you a text letting you know he's outside.
Walking down you spot a sick blue car, but you can't see who the owner is yet since the windows are so tinted, even though it's still light out.
As you approach the vehicle apprehensively, the passenger window rolls down, revealing the one and only Connie Springer.
"Holy shit, what's good Paul Walker!", shaking your head and laughing, you open the passenger door and throw yourself into the seat, dapping Connie up.
"That's so hot that you know that,", he states, "buckle up, this baby loves to go fast.", as he plays "Tokyo Drift", bass absolutely boosted through the roof.
As soon as you put on your seatbelt, he changes gears and whips out the lot, jolting you back in the process.
You loved going fast, it was such a thrill. Driving was one thing, but there was something so fun being the passenger, you never knew what to expect, it was so exciting.
Connie was an exceptionally talented driver, as you guys got on the highway, he was meandering through cars like it was nothing, it was so smooth, you felt safe being in the car with him.
The fact that he knew how to drive a stick shift too made him even more attractive in your eyes.
The car ride was pretty short, considering Connie was going at least 30 over the speed limit at all times. He was playing all 2000s bangers for the ride, the both of you belting them out loud like tone-deaf idiots. Hanging with Connie was so easy, he never failed to make you laugh.
Connie pulls up to a really nice neighborhood, white picket fences, old style tudor homes, well kept lawns and trees lining the street. The early evening dimming the sky, the sound of crickets singing filled the air.
"I'll be quick, I'll leave the car running so you don't get too hot... although, you're already a smokeshow as it is", he says with a wink, walking out of the car.
You follow him with your eyes as he walks towards the house, a beeping noise catches you off guard as you realize he's locked the car for you.
Despite it seeming like a safe neighborhood, you were grateful at how thoughtful and considerate he was.
Getting curious, you start snooping around his car a bit.
Hanging around the rearview mirror was a car freshener smell, a little black tree with the words "Black Ice" written on it.
Why am I not surpirsed... It does smell really good though fuck
Peeking into the middle console you see a few loose dollars, some cigarettes, gum, the usual stuff.
Something small, gold metallic flashes and catches your eye. You burst into laughter.
Magnum.. LARGE???? So the BDE isn't just for show... Good for you Springer, noted
Under the gold package you see a small metal band. You pull it out and analyze it. It was a gold ring with intricate details.
The initials "M.S." carved on the inside.
You wonder whose it is, from a girl maybe? Mary? Maria? Monique? Surely not Mikasa? Maybe he and Marco are secret lovers, that'd be more believable honestly.
Your curiosity is satiated for the time being, more so since you see Connie coming back from out of the house. You're grateful for the tinted windows which allowed you to sneakily conceal your digging as you quickly shut the middle console.
"Hope you didn't miss me too much,", Connie says as he sits in the driver's seat, "My guy gave me an extra 0.5 gs for free, what a legend!", a bright smile on his face.
"Wanna toss this into the glove compartment for me?", he says, tossing the bag in your lap while doing his seatbelt.
You nod and open the compartment up, a hot pink thong falling out in the process. Immediately your hand slaps your mouth as you try and not die of laughter.
"Damn Springer, didn't know you were into that stuff", Connie's face goes bright red.
"I-it's not what it looks like! I just forgot to give those back to their rightful owner," he starts, "I'll give them back to Marco tonight", Connie jokes.
The conspiracy remains...
"Very John Tucker-esque of him,", you reply.
"Damn so Marco really is M.S.", you laugh off.
Connie's face instantly drops and you regret saying anything. You knew he wouldn't actually mind you snooping, but you were silly to joke about something you knew nothing about.
"I-I'm so sorry Connie, I, I didn't mean to bring anything bad up, I'm so stupid,", you give him an apologetic look, putting your hand on his forearm to comfort him, he seemed slightly distressed, which was, honestly, scary, since you've never seen him without a huge grin plastered across his face, "I don't wanna pry, but, was she an ex or something?", you might as well inquire, give him space to open up.
"Um, it's actually my brother's.", Connie stares at the road, obviously trying to regain his composure.
Damnit y/n, nice going...
"He... he, uh, passed away a few years ago. Leukemia...", at that moment you could feel your heart burst into a million pieces, your chest tightening with every second. You couldn't imagine what that felt like.
Oh... it is so much worse than I thought...
"Connie... I'm truly so sorry, I had no idea. You're so strong.", you lower your gaze, eyes swelling with tears, you can tell his eyes are tearing up at the thought as well.
"Not your fault, you couldn't have known," his expression doesn't change, but he wipes away a tear with his left hand, giving you a forced laugh, presumably so you don't feel too guilty, "He was just so young y'know, such a pure kid, he was my best friend in every way"
"If you don't mind me asking, why don't you wear the ring? It's so beautiful...", you ask.
"Honestly, I'm too scared that I'd lose it, I don't know what I'd do with myself without it so I just keep it in here.", he replies, sniffling silently.
You wanted so badly to tell him about your dad, to empathize with him, let him know how deeply you feel what he's feeling, but you didn't want to steal his moment, make it seem like you just wanted his pity, so you decided to keep silent about it for now.
Instead, you just squeeze him once more, and he offers a weak smile.
"It's funny, everyone makes fun of me for my hair, and it's like, totally fine, it's funny to me too.. But the reason why I keep it like this is cause when his hair started falling out, I shaved my head so he wouldn't feel as alone... I've just done it ever since,", he says, laughing? Must be so bittersweet for him.
Wow. What an amazing guy. He's so thoughtful and so humble. He's been through so much yet still makes everyone around him laugh and puts on a brave face.
"Well, for one, you're the only guy who could ever pull that look off. And, second, I just know how proud your brother is of you. You are so lovely, and so amazing in every way Connie. He's looking down at you right now and smiling, I know this for a fact", you offer to him, genuinely.
Connie looks at you and smiles, his mood brightening noticeably.
"You're somethin' else, y/n,", Connie shakes his head, "I needed to hear that, thank you", he says, a pink tinge on his cheeks.
You take his right hand off the steering wheel, giving the back of his hand a kiss, and squeezing it tight against your check.
"I hope he's gettin' mad bitches up in heaven", aaaaaaaand he's back.
"Definitely more than you are", you roll your eyes and smack his shoulder, to which Connie laughs, ruffling your hair.
The two of you pull up to the girl's house a bit past 7pm, Connie parking in front. It seems like mostly everyone is already there.
Sasha opens the door and greets you both with a hug.
"Are you guys THAT impatient that you couldn't wait to get here to smoke? Your eyes are so red Connie don't even TRY to lie to me", Sasha says while shoving her face with mini hotdogs.
You realize it's because of your guys' convo in the car.
"I think Connie's just allergic to my perfume, he was sneezing the whole way here! That's my bad", you cover for him, not wanting him to be embarrassed or have to bring it up again.
"Right...", Sasha eyes the both of you suspiciously, "Whatever, come in, Niccolo's making pizza's, everyone else is in the living room", she turns around grabbing you by the hand to drag you behind her.
Looking back at Connie, he shoots you a small 'thank you' smile, and you blow him an air kiss in return, following Sasha.
"Jean was asking for you, by the way," she turns to you, smirking.
"H-he was?", you stutter, blushing. Jean truly manages to give you true, pure, middle-school crush butterflies.
"Oh please, don't act so coy, I saw you guys eye-fucking each other at Reiner's,", Sasha knows you too well already, "to be honest, I've never seen him this nervous around a girl. Like, since when we were kids, Jean has always been a gentleman, but he's also as cocky as it gets," she stops you two around the corner, right before the living room.
"You're not just any random girl, so if you want it, you gotta go get it. He's kind of like... a squirrel! Leave him a little trail and he'll follow.", she nods, prideful at her little metaphor.
You were used to making the first move usually, anyways, so, this shouldn't be a problem.
Although... maybe it would be kind of nice for a challenge. For someone to make you nervous, pursue you first...
Good in theory, but you liked being in control.
"Enough chit chat, I need a j, and then to fall into a food coma, preferably.", the brown haired girl turns as you laugh, following her into the living room.
"Y'all, I've brought our newest virgin sacrifice!", Sasha announces to everyone, earning a bunch of 'yays' from all around.
You lean against the doorframe while Sasha goes to the kitchen to help Niccolo.
"Virgin, you said? Say the word and that can change tonight," Who other than Connie chirps up with a sly smile, eyebrows wiggling suggestively.
"Sorry my love, I'm already spoken for. Mikasa's already got that covered for me.", you grin at him.
"Have space for one more?", Annie chimes in, "For you? Always baby," you say, sending her a kiss, as she catches it, pocketing it, "Don't keep me waiting, you know how impatient I am", she winks back.
I'm pretty straight, right? But... Kinda hot honestly. I could be convinced....
You notice a new face sitting next to her.
A sweet faced blonde boy, cheeks bright red after your guys' exchange.
"Oh, this is Armin by the way!", Annie motions to the boy, "He was away for the past two weeks with his family for vacation, which is why he hasn't been around yet. He's our designated sweetheart, and moral compass, honestly." Armin seems to blush at her compliment.
"Oh gosh, Armin I'm so sorry you had to witness that, I'm y-",
"Y/n! I've heard so much about you, all good things, of course,", Armin announces, "and, I've been friends with these guys for so long, none of this is new to me", he offers you a soft, sincere smile.
He has pretty, light blonde hair, with these captivating, crystal blue eyes that seem to shine from within. His skin is fairly tan, and he's wearing a light brown collared jumper, black jeans, with glasses tucked into his collar. He seems kind.
His voice is like honey, and his smile is comforting.
"Oh boy, Annie talk about how much I annoy her, eh?", you and Annie laugh.
"Oh, Eren actually told me all about you. You're just as beautiful as he described", Armin says, shocking you. You try not to look too surprised, but, that just does not seem like something Eren would say.
You open your mouth to say something as Jean makes his entrance, "Alright you guys ready to spark up? I need to get me some good vibes goin' people", he states.
The two of you lock eyes, smiling at each other.
"Y/n!", Jean beams, walking over to you, enveloping you into a big hug.
He smells like fresh laundry and Tom Ford cologne. You sneak in a whiff, breathing his scent in deeply and letting yourself fall into his strong arms.
Your hug ends and you separate, and you find yourself missing his warmth. The two of you look into each other's eyes briefly before being interrupted by Sasha and Niccolo barging into the living room.
Well, Sasha barging, Niccolo following.
"Sit next to me?", Jean whispers to you, and you nod in response.
Jean takes your hand in his and leads you to where he was sitting on the big fluffy white couch, plopping down between him and Marco.
The room is filled with chatter from all sides.
Annie and Mikasa update Armin about recent developments he's missed around campus.
Jean and Connie invested in whatever sports game was on the TV.
Sasha and Niccolo entirely in their own world.
You feel at peace. But you can't seem to shake what Armin said to you earlier, about Eren. Why do you even care? Why should it matter if he said that? Not like guys haven't said that to you before. Ugh.
You nuzzle your head into Marco's shoulder as your greeting to him, and he kisses the top of your head.
"How was your day my lovely?", Marco asks you with a smile, while grinding the weed. You will never get tired of his freckles and how they decorate his skin perfectly.
"Better now that you're here", you smirk into him.
"Ah yes, ever the wordsmith, y/n", Marco laughs, shaking his head, as he continues his task, you watching him intently.
Marco puts the substance onto the rolling papers and starts rolling them perfectly.
You remind yourself to ask him to teach you how to do that.
He takes one of the soon-to-be joints and brings it up to his lips, ever so delicately, ever so slowly, so, just sooooo painfully slowly licking the edges of the paper, before sealing and twisting it.
I am too horny for my own good... Get it together woman...
Your eyes follow his movements, studying the way his hands move.
Marco does the exact same ritual with the second joint, then holds them both up proudly.
"Well done maestro", you praise him.
"Thank you, thank you, I do it for my fans,", Marco reaches for the lighter, "Care to start us off?", he says, offering you the goods.
You oblige, taking the joint and putting it between your lips.
"WAIT!", a voice yells, and you freeze in place.
"Every time you pass it around, everyone has to say what their walkout song would be," Connie says.
"Hmm...", you bring the lighter up to the joint, igniting it and inhaling slightly. You inhale the smoke, holding in for a few seconds before exhaling.
"I think I'd have to go with "Love Sosa"," earning a laugh from the room, "I'm serious!", you take another inhale, "But it would have to be a really long walkout, like, gotta get the intro of the song in it as well, y'know"
Passing the joint to Marco, "No that's honestly a good answer. Mine would probably be "Dream on" or something."
Mikasa and Annie each go next, both agreeing on Kanye having the best songs to walk out to.
Armin skips smoking but announces that Dvorak's Symphony No. 9 would be a good walkout song.
A bit weird but, honestly, kind of a vibe. Definitely would be scared out of my mind if someone walked out to that.
"Armin I love you but that was so lame. Anyways, my walkout song would be "This is why I'm hot". Like an MMA walkout, where I'm shirtless, half naked girls walking next to me, I'm oiled up, they're oiled up... Fuck I'm getting bricked just thinking about it Jean please take this from me", you can't help but laugh. Just imagine that.
"Connie, you have to actually be hot to have that as a walkout song though, no?", Mikasa and Annie snicker.
"Ha ha Mikasa very funny! I'd say it's me and you in the octagon but I actually prefer to LIVE", Connie replies to her.
Looking around the room, you notice Sasha and Niccolo have disappeared. You wanna say she went to stuff her face with some pizza, but let's be real, she's getting stuffed with something else alright.
Anyways.
A while goes by and everyone's passing around the joint, talking, laughing.
You're still in the same spot on the couch, except Jean is now sitting on the floor between your thighs. You're running your fingers through his soft, sandy brown hair.
Marco is peacefully asleep next to you, mouth slightly agape, covered with a blanket Armin had put over him.
The air is heavy, and filled with smoke.
You start to feel a little bit overwhelmed.
Not having smoked in a while, it was a weird feeling. Drugs in general were a bit... a bit of a tough topic for you. They used to be something you ran to for comfort.
For an escape.
For numbness.
Using them recreationally, or to feel happy, or socially, was quite frankly a bit foreign.
Trying to calm your thoughts, you take a deep breath.
"Hey, you okay?", Jean turns around, concerned look on his face.
You didn't even realize you stopped playing with his hair, and stopped breathing altogether.
You offer him a consoling smile "Yes! I'm good, I'm just gonna go get some water, I'll be right back", to which he nods.
*TW PANIC ATTACK SKIP IF U NEED PLS*
You needed to get out of there. You could feel your emotions bubbling deep inside.
Unsure if it was the weed fueling your anxiety, or if you were just sending yourself over the edge, you decide to remove yourself from the room entirely.
Walking through the girls' house, you meander into the kitchen, grabbing yourself a cold glass of water. Everything was moving so slowly.
Although it felt good, the water didn't help wash away the thoughts, as you were hoping it would.
Seeing the door to the yard, you decide to step outside for some air. Air would be good for you, clear your thoughts a bit.
You sit on the steps outside.
And that's when it hits you.
Fuck.
You don't want your new friends to see you like this.
Your breath spikes.
Why are you like this? You're so fucking stupid.
Your eyes start swelling.
So fucking stupid to think these people like you.
They just like the facade you're putting on.
They like you now, until they really find out about you.
Your eyes are burning with tears, your breathing speeds up.
No one likes you for you. They don't want your baggage.
They don't need to carry your shit with them, they have enough problems of their own.
Your thoughts are like barrages, shooting into your mind from all sides, tears streaming down your face, burning into your skin.
You're frozen in place.
They don't deserve that to happen to them. All you do is bring others down. Like your dad. Or you push them away. Make them run away. Make them leave you.
Your mom was right. You're worthless.
You're shaking now.
Your mind is empty. Empty of any good thoughts, empty of any solace, comfort. You're back at square one. All that effort, just gone.
You don't deserve love.
Who would ever love someone like you? You're a fucking burden.
Who in their right fucking mind would e-
"Y/n?", you hear a familiar voice behind you.
Sasha.
You wipe your face quickly. You don't wanna face her.
Her mouth is slightly agape, Mikasa by her side.
They both look at each other, apologetically.
Feeling Sasha's steps behind you, she sits next to you and wraps you into the tightest hug.
Your breathing stops.
Your head goes blank.
"It's okay, y/n. I'm here. We're here.", she whispers into your hair, holding you tight, caressing your hair with her hand.
You're here. You're home. You're safe.
You let your body go, falling into her warm embrace.
Mikasa comes to sit on the other side of you.
Your eyes are swollen now.
Sasha lets go as Mikasa gives you some more water.
"I'm so sorry guys I didn't meant to ruin your night I j-"
"Y/n. You didn't ruin anything,", Mikasa starts, "so get that out of your head.", she starts rubbing your back gently.
"You don't have to tell us, but, we're here for you, okay? You're ours now, we want you to feel like you can talk to us, we've got your back, y/n.", Sasha says, concerned look on her face.
"Yeah, no, I'm totally fine, just haven't smoked in a while is all", you weakly offer.
"Right. Now, what's actually going on," Sasha sees right through you, to your chagrin.
You might as well tell them. It's now or never. Even if they drop you. Or make fun of you. Or call you stupid. Just rip the bandaid off.
Here goes nothing.
"Well, um, I guess... Long story short, my best friend died in a car crash, then my dad sort of killed himself, after which my mom left me, and now I guess I'm just here with my uncle.", you sigh, burying your face into your hands, giving them the abridged version.
"Y/n... I... I'm so sorry.", Sasha says.
"It's totally fine, I mean, not your fault obviously.... I think I just got a bit in over my head. Anxiety's kind of just piled on, decided to come out at a very awkward moment", you offer.
Mikasa puts her arm around you, leaning into your shoulder.
She doesn't say anything, but you know how much her actions mean.
Neither of the girls seem to pity you, which you're grateful for, nor have they left?
"You remind me a lot of Eren.", Mikasa says quietly.
You give her a questioning look.
"He lost both of his parents a few years ago. And then found out his dad had a whole secret family on the side", she says.
What. The. Fuckkkkkk
No wonder he was such a dickwad. He had every right to be. That's so fucked up.
You're unsure what to say. Your heart feels for him. No wonder you felt mysteriously drawn to him.
"I was with him through all of that, he's like family to me, and so are you. I want you to know I'm not going anywhere, none of us are.", Mikasa states, interrupting your thoughts.
You lean into her.
"Thank you... both of you...", you can't believe they're still here, after all of that, "How'd you guys know where I was?"
"Jean told me you left sort of abruptly, alone nonetheless, Mikasa and I just had a gut feeling," Sasha explains, "I figured if you left with Jean, y'know, wouldn't have been so worried, but..."
You snort.
Wow.
You've seemed to have relaxed, and momentarily forgotten about what was happening.
"This is gonna sound so weird but, I feel like I've known you guys forever", you quietly say to them.
"I think we've been friends in multiple lives, is what it feels like", Mikasa speculates, to which you and Sasha silently agree.
"I think we were lovers, had to have been. We were defo fuckin' like crazy, too", the three of you erupt into laughter, your eyes filling with happy tears this time. Sasha was something else.
"Why just make it a past life?", you joke, Mikasa holding her stomach from laughter.
You guys quiet down a bit realizing how late it was. The air outside was brisk. A perfect early fall night.
Crickets chirping.
Fireflies illuminating the grass and bushes.
Late fall breeze rustling the leaves.
The sky was clear, making the stars fully visible. That was one thing you really liked about Paradis.
You could see so many stars when the sky was clear, unlike back home.
"You guys are my sun and my moon", you say, whispering, unsure if they heard you.
The three of you stay embracing for a while.
"Come on, we saved you some pizza", Sasha says, breaking the silence.
"Um, you mean I had to bribe you to save her some?" Mikasa scoffs.
"Yeah yeah tomayto, tomahto, chop chop before I claim it"
"I'm just gonna go wash my face, I'll be right back, I promise", you tell them.
And you intend to keep it.
Taking your makeup off, you see how red your eyes are. Thankfully you had weed as an excuse.
Wiping yourself off you make your way back outside.
You find Sasha in the kitchen, packing up some pizza for you.
"Jean said he'd drive you home." She says, wiggling her eyebrows.
You blush shyly.
"Maybe he can fuck the sad out of you"
"Sasha!", you swat at her as she giggles.
'Y/n, ready to go?"Jean swoops in, saving the day, to which you nod vehemently.
You were tired, but you were excited for some alone time with him.
"I'm just gonna go say bye to everyone quick!", you tell him, to which he responds that he' ll wait for you in the car.
You give Sasha a big hug, thanking her.
"I just... am so grateful, really, I don't know how to repay you."
"Well, actually! Now that you mention it, Annie and I signed you up for lacrosse try-outs. We'll chat tomorrow but now I know it'll be good for you. I don't wanna hear any protests"
"I'm gonna kill you." That is a problem for tomorrow.
"You love me! But, nothing to thank me for. But I need you to promise me you'll text one of us if you need anything. Or I'll beat your ass. Or, y'know what, I'll get Mikasa and Annie to do it."
"That sounds super scary but also it's making me kind of horny, not sure which one you were going for there", you joke.
"Both. Now, get out, you're not the only one that needs to get laid.", she says, jokingly shoo-ing you.
Everyone in the living room is passed out except to Niccolo, to whom you wave goodbye. Mikasa is nowhere to be found, but you make a mental note to call her tomorrow.
You walk out to Jean's bright, white, Audi S4.
Not as good of a car as Eren's but, still a dope whip.
You open the passenger side, sliding in.
Game face on.
"S4 Kirstein? Not bad, looks lowered, springs?", you inquire.
"Oh, I'm not sure. I'm not too good with cars honestly, it was just a grad gift from my parents.", he says.
Hmm. That's okay, you'll just have to teach him.
"You okay? You were gone for a while..." Jean starts, giving you a worried look, big hazel eyes looking at you intently.
"Aww, were you worried about me? You're so cute when you look at me like that", you coo, to which he blushes.
"Yeah, I was starting to miss your thighs around my head", he says confidently.
"That can be arranged again" you smirk, thinking about it.
You give Jean directions as he starts the car, Frank Ocean playing in the background, windows down. The breeze felt nice.
Leaning your head back, you turn to look at Jean.
He looks back at you dotingly.
"You're so beautiful like that...", he says, his right hand coming up to cup your face, stroking it gently. You lean your hand into his palm, accepting the touch.
Now. Tell me why, you're in the car with a gorgeous man, who just called you beautiful. Right?
So why are you thinking of Eren? And why did it make you more excited, more nervous, hearing he had called you beautiful?
It wasn't even TO you! It was to a third party! And yet here we are.
Reel it in girl, come on.
You focus back onto Jean, kissing his palm.
Looking straight ahead, he removes his hand from your face, and it falls down onto your left thigh.
He keeps his hand close to your knee, but slowly starts stroking your thigh with his fingers, squeezing here and there.
You find yourself biting your lip in anticipation, as his hand travels more north, thumb making small circles on your leg.
His hand stopped quite high, keeping a respectful spot.
Fuck. You wanted him to just take you!
Jean stops the car by your apartment building.
Remember what Sasha said. Leave him a little trail!
"Can you come up with me? I'm worried I might get lost on my way", you tease.
"You don't have to tell me twice", he replies.
Your hand goes towards the door, and he stops you.
He runs out of the car and walks over to your side, opening the door for you.
"Wish I had a red carpet to roll out for you as well", you snort at his comment. So cheesy.
But, cute.
The two of you make your merry way up to your apartment.
You both take your shoes off, and you turn on your low ambient lighting.
Jean makes his way to sit on your couch and you follow.
"Kamisama Kiss? Really?", Jean asks, laughing at your choice of entertainment.
Oh my god. You mentally slap yourself for forgetting to turn it off.
"Hey, don't knock it til you try it!', you beckon.
Jean extends his arm, inviting you closer.
He's sitting up, leaning into the couch, you're upright as well, but you lean into him slightly.
Looking at him, you analyze his features.
He was conventionally handsome. Sharp jaw, high cheekbones, greek nose, beautiful long eyelashes.
"You can take a picture if you want, I'll even frame it for you for free", Jean jokes, turning to look at you.
Maybe you have a staring problem too.
"Yeah? You'd do that for me?", you say quietly, teasing him, the two of you now looking deeply into each other's eyes.
"Mmm, anything for you", he replies in a whisper, looking at your eyes, then at your lips, stopping back at your eyes.
You lean your head in ever so slightly.
"Anything?", you ask, glancing at his plump, pink lips.
"Anything", he replies softly.
Your mouth open slightly, tongue gently grazing your lips.
"How about this", you whisper back, leaning in slowly, closing the distance between the two of you.
Jean gently kisses you back, with his soft lips.
This kiss was patient, soft, as if neither of you wanted to hurt the other.
You savored the care with which he kissed you.
You could feel his eyelashes dancing against your cheeks, his stubble tickling your face as your lips took their time exploring the others'.
His right hand that was around your shoulder now holds your head in place, gently, while his left hand cups your face, caressing your cheek.
Your arms wrap around his neck, holding him close to you.
The kiss was magical, your lips were dancing together in unison.
It felt as if butterfly wings were gracing your lips.
Finally you feel his tongue expertly asking for entrance, which you allow him.
Your tongues intertwined, slowly caressing one another.
You grip his hair a bit tighter, to which he responded by moaning into your mouth.
Hot. Good to know.
You smile into the kiss, and he pulls away ever so slightly.
He looks at you. Your eyes. Your nose. Your lips.
He's memorizing your face. Every curve, every mark.
You give him a soft peck before leaning into him.
"Can you stay a bit?", you ask him, to which he nods.
The day finally caught up to you.
You lean into Jean, trying to stay awake as the two of you enjoyed each other's company, Kamisama Kiss playing in the background.
Jean started running his long, slender fingers through your hair, playing with it.
Your eyes got heavy, and soon you let yourself drift off.
Jean stayed a bit more, enjoying the warmth of your body, to the point where your breaths started subconsciously matching.
*ding*
Your phone rings.
Assuming it was Sasha or Mikasa checking up on you, Jean checks it.
Maybe: Eren
its eren
sry about yesterday
lemme make it up to u
Fuck.
Jean's face was sullen.
He tries not to let it get to him. It was already midnight anyway, so he decides to leave, as much as he wanted to stay.
He puts your phone to charge, slowly getting up so as to not wake you.
Jean puts a blanket over you, tucking your feet in as well so you don't get cold.
Before leaving, he smiles at how peaceful you look, making a mental image.
He gives you a kiss on the forehead before leaving.
It's not all lost yet, after all, he was the one who got you alone first, right?
Right?
✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯
♥ 12.5k words
♥ I don't have many readers yet but hoping I do; would you guys like long chapters like this? Or more frequent chapters but much shorter? Let me knooooo
♥ As always, sending you guys love :)
♥ Inspo for this chapter:
Inspo for Eren's look when he came over by none other than @ yuannaoi on Twitter
Y/n outfit when eren came over:
Also this is how I picture Connie looking like idk he's super hot in my eyes:
Connie's Nissan r34 (windows max tint obv):
Y/n outfit:
Armeeeeens outfit:
THE COUCH:
Also I didn't talk about the girls' fits but this is what I was imagining so u guys can have a feel of what I'm goin for:
Sasha:
Mikasa:
Annie: