Chapter 34: The Beginning of the END cont...
April & Dave
"Sometimes you make me feel like I actually have a chance with you but when I try to take that chance you make me realize I never really did."
[Author Unknown]
Right about now both Dave and April were in their feelings but April felt like she was getting the brunt of it. The things Dave was saying to her hurt like hell. The shit coming out his mouth she would've never thought he'd say to her. They were hurtful and disrespectful as fuck. No matter how mad you get at your spouse it's just some shit you just don't say and he crossed that line several times today. The shit that hurt April the most was after everything she and Dave had gone through he was still harboring feelings about her one-night stand and Charlie. She thought they had been over and done with the issue but the fact that he brought it up and kept bringing it up meant he clearly wasn't over it to a certain extent. Let alone for him to even mention a fuckin abortion or a plan B was a smack in her face and Charlie's especially since he so-called loved her so much. Or it could be the fact that he was willing to talk about anything and everything except Millie. It was as if he was doing anything to prolong that part of the conversation even if that meant willingly throwing himself under the bus. Some would say that it's not about Dave but about Kairi but honestly it was about the both of them. Dave still had some unfinished business to deal with when it came to Millie and it didn't just involve Kairi. That man needed closure...proper closure at that. Just ending their relationship wasn't enough especially after he learned about her true intentions after the fact.
April made her way to the balcony and took a seat on one of the lounge chairs and huffed in frustration. This is not how she thought vacation would go especially not their first one as a family and while they were in the middle of planning their wedding. At this very moment she didn't know what was going to happen between her and Dave. To her it sort of felt like the beginning of the end and she was dreading that shit like the plague. She thought they were past shit like this like the first time they broke up wasn't enough. She took a few deep breaths trying to clear her mind for the second round but the more she thought about it, it began to make her panic. She was seeing the red flags as clear as day today and as much as she wanted to ignore them she simply couldn't. The problems they had were way too big to ignore and if they still wanted to get married they had to fix this shit and quick because time never waited on anyone. She also knew what they were going through couldn't be fixed overnight so their wedding would most likely end up on the back burner.
Meanwhile Dave had left the villa and made his way to the beach. Just like April he needed some space and time to clear his mind as well and to reflect on the situation they were now in and the hole he had dug himself. He didn't want to openly admit it but he had heard everything April had said but talking about the shit just made it all too real. He didn't want to admit that he indeed had a problem. It was one thing to argue and talk about petty shit like changing the channel from ESPN to the ID channel or who left the kitchen light on but this conversation was a big deal. It had been one he had been avoiding for a while now. He had low key thought that when he left Millie that, that would be the end but it wasn't. He figured since she would be out of his life she would leave his mind altogether but she never really left. She was always lingering in the back in her busted ass lounge chair living rent free in his head when she shouldn't be on his mind at all.
Sure he was no longer thinking about the what ifs but he was thinking about all of the promises they had made each other and how many of those promises had been broken...more so how many she had broken. He thought about how they had laid side by side talking about their future together, building a family together, and making an empire together. He thought about the nights when she was pregnant where they would lie in bed talking and laughing while he rubbed on her growing stomach in excitement. They were both excited about the baby or so he thought. Or how he loved basketball so much that he wanted to name their child after one of his favorite players and along the line keep the traditions going. He thought about how they were supposed to be best friends above all and how his so-called best friend betrayed him in the worst way. He felt like he needed to know why she did what she did and how could she even do it to him of all people. How could she scam her way into his heart, break it, and give two fucks about breaking him the way she did because he was damn sure broken. He was broken to the point where he couldn't give his fiancé his all without allowing Millie to stay where she was at...in the past.
Dave was afraid to share this with April. He didn't know how she would feel or react. Honestly speaking if she was in his shoes and Chris was living rent free in her head while they were engaged let alone just talking or dating he'd be all in his feelings especially when he knew it was wrong. No one outside of your relationship should be occupying your mind like that at all. He just couldn't accept defeat at the moment. If he told her things would get even more complicated than they already were. Yet he knew he had to speak up because their wedding would soon be approaching.
He took comfort in sitting on the hot sand with his toes sinking into it as he relit his blunt. He was close to the villa so he didn't care about being seen smoking on the beach. Inhale...exhale...inhale...exhale he welcomed the high coming his way. It helped ease his anxiety and nerves to some extent but not fully enough to take over his senses. He almost wished the sand would swallow him whole like a black hole and send him anywhere other than here. Finishing off his blunt he buried the roach in the sand before glancing back at the villa seeing April sitting out on the balcony. The look on her face he knew all too well. It was pure dread. She was just as scared if not more than he was.
He slowly got up, brushed himself off, and made his way back to the villa. Before he knew it he was back inside and upstairs in their bedroom closing the door behind himself. He grabbed one of the many pillows and plopped it on the floor at the foot of the bed before taking a seat on it. He leaned his head back against the bed and closed his eyes. He was going to wait and give April all the time she needed. Dave was hoping that his pride wouldn't get the best of him though. He didn't have to wait on April long at all. She had come back inside, grabbed a pillow, and joined him on the floor. As soon as she was in front of him she reached and grabbed his hands and cupped them in hers. She took a deep breath and looked him dead in the eyes.
"Hey Papi before we start I just want you to know that whatever the outcome may be after this that I love you so damn much. I honestly think that since the day we met and the first time we chilled up to this very day before us that I've been high key saying my vows to you. I say that to say that no matter what you will always be that person for me and my other half. So whenever ya ready I'm ready" April said full of emotion. She knew what was coming and she wanted him to know that before he walked out on her that she would forever and always love him but if he had to walk away then it was ok. Well it wouldn't be ok but she'd have to rock with whatever decision he made no matter how bad it would hurt because Dave leaving would definitely hurt. She would be devastated.
Dave lifted her left hand up to his lips and placed a chaste kiss on her ring finger. He knew what she was doing. She had done it before. She was giving him a way out if he needed it. He just hoped that this time around it wouldn't come to that. "Whatever the outcome ma I love and will always love you" he said as he looked into her eyes seeing them mist over in unshed tears. Shit damn near broke his heart because he knew he was part of the source. He knew those tears were for him.
"I know Papi. I want this to work so damn bad but the only way I think it'll work is if we did premarital counseling because we both have some shit to work on. I think we need it bad" April suggested hoping that he would be ok with the idea of talking to a therapist. You know since it helped her it could also help them as a couple as well. Dave himself needed someone other than her to talk to.
"I don't think we need all that. I think we can talk it out" he said. Sure he had no problem with a therapist but he didn't think their issues was that serious. Besides he really didn't want to talk about how he felt with a professional. He didn't want anybody poking and probing around his head like that.
"We really can't. Every time certain things come up shit goes left. You don't like talking bout shit just as much as me sometimes. You say do this for Kairi and here we are and ya still avoiding the topic. I don't know bout you but I don't want to bring any of this shit into our marriage. I want to address the issues and enjoy our happily ever after the way we're supposed to. We deserve that moment and peace of mind. I don't want for every time Millie pops up for us to go left. She doesn't deserve that power. She had it long enough as it is"
"Ma I don't want to talk to a therapist. I know yours helped you but I don't want that" he said standing firm in how he felt.
April sighed. "David we need this more than you think. It's for you, for me, the girls, and our family" she stressed but she knew not to press him any further because he wasn't ready for help yet and she knew that feeling all too well. You can't help anybody that isn't ready to be helped.
"No"
"Ok" she said and left it at that even though she wished he'd agree to it. He needed someone to listen to his inner thoughts and properly help him. "So let's talk bout the real issues then. First one and I know we already discussed this but I need you to know once I go back to work I'm a need you to be a stay at home dad for a while and not just for a few months. It's ya turn to be that go to parent. I'm not saying you have to stop working altogether but I'm a need you at home. Yes, I made sure to schedule my work priorities around Kairi's schedule but there will be times when I need to stay at work for a few extra hours. I'll also be doing some traveling out of the state and country for business meetings so one of us has to be home for the girls and it can't be me anymore. I've been taking care of home and the girls damn near by myself for months on end now and I need a break" she honestly couldn't wait to get back to work and back to herself. She had been so busy on momma duty and holding shit down that she was losing out on time for herself. Sure she understood that being a mother was a 24/8 job and she absolutely loved it but she also needed time for herself and she wasn't getting much of that. All of her time was going to her kids and Dave. Most of the time she had the girls while Dave was working and when Dave did come home they were busy making up for lost time.
"I don't mind being a stay at home dad that's why I was asking you if you could push work back because filming is gonna take some months so I can't really give you an accurate end date. My schedule isn't set in stone. It can always go past the months requested of me" he replied he had no issues being the go to parent. "If you can't push work back we'll just have to ask mommy and mama if they could come stay with us until I'm done filming. You know they wouldn't mind"
"Ok bet so we have that covered. We'll talk to them bout it after vacation" April didn't mind his suggestion. She knew like he knew that their parents wouldn't hesitate to help them out especially when they stayed searching for excuses to come visit their grandbabies. So that was one problem solved and since he had no problems being a stay at home dad she was good on the subject period.
"Ok what's next" Dave asked as they still had their hands cupped together. Yet he didn't say anything about how she needed a break. It was simply on to the next.
"So I see you still have an issue with the one-night stand but I'm not really sweating that. That's something you have to work out on your own. My issue is you and your feelings towards Charlie. I don't want anyone around her that's going to resent her, have an issue with her, or every time you see her ya thinking bout a night that had absolutely nothing to do with you. She's innocent. That lil baby loves and adores you just as much as she loves her damn father. But if you feel a way then something has to give because honestly ya statement rubbed me the wrong way. You know I lost my first child so to even mention getting an abortion or popping a plan B is hurtful and disrespectful as fuck. You so-call love my lil girl but to suggest what you did isn't giving you love my child vibes. It's giving the total opposite and real talk I'm trying to keep my cool and trying to figure out how to move on from that" she said not feeling that shit at all. That shit had her feeling all kinds of ways and upset. Never in a million years did she think that would come out of his mouth. She was never one of those girls. Sure she fucked around but she had always been responsible and she knew the consequences of having sex and kids were one. She wasn't out here letting random men beat her shit down and shoot up her club. Even with Chris she had been careful but even with her being careful they had both slipped up and ended up with a beautiful blessing.
Dave gripped her hands firmly and locked eyes with her. "I could never resent my baby and I know you don't want to hear it but I'm sorry for even saying what I said. I shouldn't have said it. I knew what I was signing up for. From start to finish I was there. I may have not been to the appointments but you recorded each one so I wouldn't feel left out. Cravings it was me getting up whenever you called to get you what you wanted even if I was monitoring what you ate" he chuckled. "Belly rubs, feeling her kicks, I did all of that. Morning sickness I was by ya side holding ya hair and rubbing ya back. Yea bruh was around and he played his part but I was the one at home with you when you were going through the motions" he said and paused. That whole pregnancy had been one hell of an experience for him.
"If I was out for self, trust and believe I would've been in that room with you. I would've definitely been by ya side. When ya water broke I was there. I say all that to say that at the end of the day Charlie may not look like me or have my last name or my blood flowing in her veins but she is my child just as much as she is yours and Chris. She will always be mine and she will always be a Brewster. That's my Triple B all day every day. That's Pop's baby. Resenting her is impossible. That baby knows her daddy but she also knows me. She knows her pops and she loves on me just like she loves on y'all and let's face it that baby is a daddy's baby all day long. So me and bruh out rank ya ass when it comes to Charlie" Dave said just like she did straight up no chase. Charlie was his just as much as she belonged to April and Chris. Besides she was the new gatekeeper of all his secrets. He treated and loved on her just like he did Kairi. It didn't matter who her father was or what would happen between him and April. Charlie would always be a priority. That was his baby and that was facts. He was just heated and in the moment when he said what he said. Yes he knew it was wrong and if he could change it he damn sure would.
April looked at him and teared up. She was so happy and relieved that he didn't resent Charlie. If he had that would've broken her little heart because she loved her Pops. April then smacked her lips and sucked her teeth at the fact that be brought up Charlie being a daddy's girl. "Yea...yea...yea enjoy it while it lasts but real talk I'm still pissed at you for saying what you said but I'm so happy you don't resent my baby because we'd both be heart broken and we'd be coming for you" she said. This seemed to be the calm before the storm though because lord knows what was still brewing because more serious issues were approaching.
"Yea aight" he chuckled. "So how you feeling" Dave asked genuinely wanting to know.
"Right now I'm feeling too many things at once. I'm nervous and scared as fuck, my feelings are hurt, and I feel like we're on a boat that's bout to collapse and sink. I feel like once again our perfectly imperfect bubble has been popped and I'm tired of this shit. I feel like with each milestone we make someone or something comes along and pushes us back to square one. I feel like with the relationship we have we should be solid and strong enough to not slip. Shit shouldn't even get to us at this point. I feel like we should be past all of this but we aren't and it doesn't feel like we'll ever be" she admitted. This was no time to hold shit back. "I also feel like ya not hearing me. Everything is going in one ear and out the other"
"Understood" Dave nodded and sighed. "I'm experiencing most of the same shit but I also feel like most of it is my fault. Granted we're both to blame on certain things but I can see why you'd point ya fingers at me"
"So ya ready to rip the band aid off or what" April questioned ready to get this shit over with. There was no use in prolonging the inevitable.
"Bet, let's go" he said. "Do you really think that I don't love you the way you love me because ma I love you" he asked confused and concerned because if he didn't know anything else he knew damn well that he loved her. He never wanted her to question his love for her. He loved her to the moon and back. She was his person and she was it for him. He had never loved any woman as much as he loved her.
"I know that you love me that's not even a question" April said and sighed as she let go of his hands and placed them in her lap. This was kind of hard for her to admit out loud. "But ya love is questionable at times. For me when I love I love hard, fuck harder, and I give my all. I give my mind, body, and soul on a silver platter. I go above and beyond to show my love and appreciation. I love completely with no strings attached. I fell in love with you quick and hard and I sort of knew it before I went and got closure with Chris. Talking to Chris is something I been needed to do before you even stepped into my life and when you came in like a wrecking ball and flipped my whole world upside down talking to Chris became a priority for me. I didn't want to bring my past relationship woes into our budding relationship. It wouldn't have been fair to you or my-self. I did it for myself firstly but for you as well because I didn't want to mess up a good thing. I didn't want to bring or put those types of problems on ya shoulders" she said and dabbed her eyes feeling them tear up.
"I didn't think it was fair to you to deal with another man's issues and all of my insecurities that I got from him. I wanted something new and fresh and that's what you gave me. I wanted to think that you were done with Millie but my gut told me otherwise. I even mentioned it to Alaina the very same night you and August met at the studio for the first time. She said nah big bro likes you he's not worried bout her yada, yada but the signs were there. I just chose to ignore them. You were still stuck on the what ifs and as much as it hurt me I understood those feelings far too well. I figured if I was getting the closure I needed that you would too but you didn't and you still haven't. You can't give me your all when part of you is still stuck with Millie and that right there isn't fair to me at all" April said finally speaking her mind. "I know ya not in love with her but she still has a hold on you that you aren't ready to let go of yet"
"April questioning my love for you is ridiculous to me. I whole heartedly love you through and through so for you not to see that is beyond me. I don't want anybody but you. I ain't checking for no one but you. You're my other half. I asked you to marry me, to have my baby, I traveled states with you to build our family and I do all this shit for us" he said trying to keep his cool. His love for her shouldn't even be a question. He went hard for her...or so he thought.
"You have a semi meltdown every time I mention her name David. Like I said it doesn't matter that I have the ring, the kids, the dog, and the mansion. Until you get closure she will still be a thorn in our side. You got me in a race with someone who's not supposed to be relevant and sometimes I feel like I'm coming in last place but you don't see that. So while that's stewing in ya head let's talk bout her calling to speak to Kairi" she paused just to take a quick breath.
"You know what before we even tackle that I need you to stop throwing the think bout Kairi in my face everytime Millie is involved. You know but you will never understand what I sacrificed for Kairi. I tell you nothing when it comes to Millie so you don't know that I'm still watching my back. Or that I have someone in her cell making sure that I know any and everything and keeping watch just like I have someone in Karrueche's, Profit's, and Hood's cells. You don't know that after everyone is put to sleep for the night that I lie up at night wondering what's gonna happen to me next because honestly that first one was a close call. Or how I think bout her still sitting on millions and still having access to people and a damn phone so I don't know who else she may send my way. Sure Karrueche put the bug in her ear but she followed through"
"You don't understand by me shielding Kairi from the truth that not only didn't I get the justice I so rightfully deserved when it comes to Millie but there's Karrueche, Profit, and Hood sitting around too. That's four people a part of a hit that haven't been rightfully put on blast and charged for what they really did. Everyone is sitting on petty crime charges just big enough to get them to sit still for a lil while. I couldn't tell on them because the first thing they would do is rat Millie out and we can't have that can we"
Dave kept his eyes on her and his mouth shut because he couldn't say shit. What could he say? He had never really given it any thought once they were all put in jail. You know out of sight out of mind. It was no longer a problem or his problem for that matter. He thought that them sitting in jail was enough for her but when he actually thought about it that was four people who shouldn't even had seen another light of day. If it was him jail wouldn't even be an option but Millie was involved so that was the route they had to take. He didn't know April was dealing with any of this and it bothered him that she couldn't tell him she was troubled. It was all for Kairi's sake and still April was paying and suffering for it.
"I kept Millie alive for the sole purpose of Kairi and Kairi only. So if she wants to have a relationship with her then I'm ok with whatever you decide. But I don't think this is something we should rush into because Kairi is already having anxiety and attachment issues as it is. She doesn't need anymore. So Millie has to be 100% committed to this shit because if not it's pointless and there's no reason for her to be alive. At some point the in and out has to stop because Kairi deserves better. I also agree with you that Millie needs to put up first before bringing Kairi into the picture because if or when shit goes left we're the ones picking up the pieces. So like I said the choice is yours"
Dave nodded and he actually agreed with her. "Bet we're on the same page with this one. I want and always wanted them to have a relationship so if she's actually serious bout it then I'm ok with it. I'm just tired of her dangling back and forth in Kairi's face like a piece of candy. "It's like she wants to be here then the next thing I know she's gone. She's been back and forth in Kairi's life since day one and I can't keep doing that to Kairi. Like you said she deserves better. She even stopped asking bout her. It's been a minute that she even spoke of her. When Kairi talks bout her mother it's always her momma which is you. I want her to be able to have both. She's too little to block shit out but she does it with Millie. So the next time Millie calls and that's if she calls I'll actually have to really sit down and talk to her. I talked to Unc so he's doing what he already does which is making sure Millie isn't on some fuck shit. I don't want Kairi involved in anything that can traumatize her more than she already is"
"Bet" April nodded herself still taking note of him only acknowledging certain shit.
"I don't mean to throw Kairi in ya face ma. I know you've picked up a lot if not all of Millie's slack and I thank you for that. I appreciate you for doing what you do and being that mother figure for her. At this point ya not even her mother figure you're her mother and that's straight facts. I know lately she's been on ya heels but my baby can't help it. She loves you and she's attached to you and she doesn't want to see you pick up and leave like Millie" he said getting a little pissed at what Millie's selfishness and neglect had done to Kairi. "Everything she's doing now with you she's never done with her own damn mother. It's like it's expected for her to come and go then act like she never left"
"Yea ole girl really did a number on our baby. With the things she's done that's why I question certain shit. She's done more than enough to be cut off yet you still let her live rent free in ya head and you still think bout things you shouldn't when you're in a serious relationship" April said knowing damn well Dave still thought about certain shit but never dared to bring up what he was actually thinking about. How did she know? She knew all the tell-tale signs. She went through and experienced some of the very same shit so she knew very well what was going on. She might've kept quiet but she was far from stupid. She saw the looks and his eyes every time his wheels were spinning.
Dave looked at her then looked away. She was right.
"Papi I'm stingy with my nigga. Always been and always will be. I don't like sharing especially not with no fuckin Millie. I told you from jump the very first night we chilled that you had to get rid of all the chicks you were fuckin with but here's Millie's bitch ass still here looming over us like a dark cloud. She may not say it but she knows she still has some type of hold on you. So every time she calls you answer and you run. That's not fair to me. That's like me doing all this shit with you but I'm still thinking bout Chris. You'd have my head if that was me"
"Ya right if you were thinking bout any other nigga besides me it would be a problem but you act like I'm walking around saying I love her and I miss her when that's not the case" he said getting a little in his feelings.
"I know that but ya still thinking bout her"
"I'm not thinking bout the what ifs" he said like that was even better and confirming that he was indeed thinking about Millie.
"Yea but what bout the promises y'all made that she broke and you're still keeping" April said and asked as she cocked her head to the side looking at him like checkmate.
Once again Dave looked away. Times like these he hated that they could read each other's minds and body language. He hated that she knew all his telltale signs. He hated that she could read him like a book without actually turning a page. Yet that was one of the things he loved about their relationship.
"Don't look away from me just tell me the truth"
"Stop rubbing her in my fuckin face" he said getting all defensive.
"I'm not rubbing her in ya face. All I'm asking is for you to tell me the truth. It's either you're still stuck on her or she has something on you because you refuse to wake the hell up. I thought you did for a moment but you clearly haven't. She's got a hold on you. I know you don't love her but you clearly still got some love for her. It's understandable I get it she's the mother of ya child but somethings gotta give" she said and took a deep breath.
"Do you realize I'm dealing with all of her shit? Let's forget bout the hit for a second. Let's talk bout how she done fucked up so bad that I can barely leave the fuckin house without Kairi having a full blown fit. Girls' night out I can forget bout it. I haven't had a legit night out since the first time because the both of y'all were triggered. I'm in a house that I paid half for with my name on the deed walking around on fuckin eggshells because I don't know what the fuck will trigger y'all next. When and IF I go out I have to leave after she's asleep because any time before that she's on my heels so bad that I end up canceling my plans most of the time. Then if I go out in the day she calls me every thirty minutes like clockwork. I have to promise her every damn day that I'm not going anywhere and kiss her 50-11 times all over her face before I even think bout stepping foot out the door. Late nights I can forget bout it because you think I'm sneaking in the house on some fuck shit like I haven't just been out with my sisters. Mind you the same ones dating ya brothers knowing damn well those girls would have my head if I fucked up my home and our family. Fucking up our home fucks up theirs and that's something I would never do" April paused just to catch her breath but no she wasn't done.
"You just came at me accussing me of taking birth control on some fuck shit because you don't think I want a damn baby. She put y'all through hell and back and I'm the one who has to deal with her shit and clean up her mess. The aftermath fell right in my damn lap." April didn't even snap she just told him what it was. "All this hostility you be having towards me but never direct it at the right person"
"You fuckin get on my nerves with this bullshit. It's always something with you. You know what you signed up for"
April shook her head. "See what I mean. I didn't sign up for this shit. When we got together you made it seem like y'all were over and done with but y'all weren't. You were lying in my fuckin bed literally every damn weekend from Friday to Sunday morning whether you had work or not. Even if you did you came through right after. You had me answering the door at three and four in the fuckin morning. You lied in my damn bed whispering all types of good shit in my ear and making me promises" April said then chuckled. "You can keep the promises you made her but break mines"
"You were telling me how Chris didn't deserve me and how I should move on to bigger and better. You were supposed to be bigger and better" she said pointing at him "How I was ya treasure and all it fuckin took was one weekend mind you the very same weekend you asked me to be ya woman for all of the shit we built to fall apart straight at the seams. You didn't want to create a scene so you let her into VIP when you should've said no point blank period. Who gives a fuck if she makes a scene" she exclaimed getting heated all over again. But oh no she wasn't done she was just getting started. This was one of the reasons why she had been avoiding the Millie topic. Talking about Millie always put her in a mood and she knew this time around things were going to get ugly.
"Then she was taking pictures next to you like y'all were still together and yea you spoke ya peace but you didn't really stop shit. You never stop shit when she's involved. Let alone instead of having ya damn driver take her home ya Captain Save an Old Hoe ass decided to bring her back to ya place knowing damn well that I was racing back home to get to you. I couldn't wait to get back home to you but there she was at your place with you dressed in ya shirt. Then on top of that once we were done with you went right back to her. What was it two weeks later? Fourteen fuckin days and you ran back into her arms like you never left. Yet you weren't checking for her. Let's recap some more though. The first time I met her she threatened me. Talking bout know ya place and you should be good. You should've checked her ass right then and there. All that shit did was show her that she could do whatever the fuck she wanted without getting checked for her bullshit ass behavior. Yet you still let her ass hold on to you" April went off but still she wasn't done. He had opened Pandora's Box and today everything was coming out.
"Ole girl was never for you and was never yours and you refuse to let her ass go. I swear I don't want to give you an ultimatum but I'm a few seconds away from asking you is it me or her" April said frustrated as fuck and getting mad all over again thinking about everything they had gone through and how Dave was still stuck on stupid and not ready to get the closure he so desperately needed. Not only that but he was still bypassing shit and answering to shit he only wanted to just like he had been since the conversation started. "Anybody can ask me on any given day is it you or Chris and each and every time I'd answer confidently with my whole ass chest loud and fuckin clear and proud as fuck its David L Brewster Jr for me all day long. I happily rock my ring and show it off. I happily say oh my fiancé. I'm in the stands cheering for ya ass all day long with no hesitation but I'm not getting that shit from you" she said looking dead at Dave not even giving him a chance to speak because of course she had a lot to say because she had been quiet for far too long. She wasn't here to hurt his feelings, make him feel bad, or anything of that nature but he needed to hear that shit. Maybe she wasn't the right messenger. Maybe she was coming on a little too strong but someone needed to give him a wake up call because they were in too deep. This wasn't no brand new relationship. They hadn't been talking for a few weeks. No, they were in a full blown committed relationship with kids, a fucking house, and had five months to their wedding. Turning back is something he should've did from the gate and not while they were knee deep.
"It's crazy to me how I can go outside pushing Charlie in her stroller with Kairi walking right beside me holding onto the stroller as we mind our business doing what we do and paparazzi pops up. They follow us around asking me the most ridiculous questions while I'm with my fuckin kids while no one questions her ain't shit egg donor. It's not fair that her ass is getting away Scott free while I'm putting in all this work but I get the most back lash. I made that shit so confidential no one even knows her ass is in jail except her fuckin family. You got me protecting a bitch that I need my own protection from. That shit doesn't even make sense. But once again that's what happens when I do shit for the people I love" she somewhat shouted. "It would be cool if she had her shit together and we could all do this blended family thing together but we fuckin can't and after that hit we never will"
Dave looked at her just mugging the fuck out of her. He didn't know she was holding all of this in and at the same time he wasn't ready to hear what she was saying. It was going in one ear and straight out the other. Yet most of the shit she was saying he had already heard from his brothers. The shit wasn't new to him just the messenger this time around.
"She fumbles the bag every single time you give her an opportunity to be there for both you and Kairi. She doesn't give a fuck bout nobody but her fuckin self and her fuckin bag. She doesn't give a fuck that you laid beside her telling her all of your dreams and aspirations. She doesn't give a fuck that you planted a blessing inside of her. She doesn't give a fuck that she carried our child for nine months and gave birth to a beautiful, loving, smart, funny, bout her money, big personality lil girl. She doesn't give a fuck bout you David. She will always choose herself over any and everybody. Do I need to remind you that while y'all were playing house she was already happily married to a bum ass nigga that was supposed to be ya friend and that's even before I stepped into the picture" she went all the way off. She was tired of holding this shit in. She was tired of Dave not fully seeing the light and hoping that he would finally wake up. "Ya so busy protecting her not realizing she'll feed ya ass to the wolves on any given day and in a heartbeat"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP" Dave shouted tired of listening to her go off on him. He stood up and started pacing the room. April followed suit. He wasn't trying to hear any of what she was saying. He wasn't ready to deal with any of this. He didn't mean to yell at her but it was the only way to get her to shut up for a few seconds.
"Who you yelling and cursing at" she asked as she mugged the shit out of him giving him the same look he was giving her.
"You" he said straight up. He had heard more than enough. "You think I don't know this shit? You think I don't see it or I don't realize it but I do. You don't have to deal with the shit I'm going through. You've already dealt with ya past shit. I look at us and our life every single damn day and notice the person I planned this shit with isn't the woman by my side. I wake up every day with you by my side and realize that Millie isn't the one beside me in our bed, in our home, or in our family pictures. When Kairi walks around the house calling, screaming, yelling, and crying for her momma I realize that it's you she's calling for and not her mother. That shit fuckin hurts. It hurts so fuckin bad. It hurts so fuckin bad that while I found my person and learning that all I was, was a fuckin pawn that I still can't break my promises to Millie" he said as his voice cracked and his eyes misted over in unshed tears. It was hard for him to see what his life was like these days when he had planned all of this with Millie. Millie was supposed to be the one by his side. Granted he was good where he was at now and the love he had now was so much better than what Millie had ever given him but he had planned this all out with her.
April's own eyes watered at the sight. Seeing him like this was heart breaking but he needed to get this shit out of his system. So if he needed to cry then this was a no judgement zone. She was going to let him do whatever he needed to do. So if he broke down and the floodgates opened she'd be there to tell him that everything was going to be ok and wipe his tears away even if she was highly upset and mad at him herself. "Get it out Papi. Yell, scream, and just cry it out" she said encouraging him as she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. She couldn't help but cry herself. She hated this for him but he needed to deal with it instead of sweeping it under the rug as usual.
"I should hate her but I don't. I don't think I could ever hate her. It might not have been real to her but it was real to me" he said as his body shook in her arms and a tear dropped from his eye onto the top of April's head. By now she was in full blown tears. She had seen his eyes tear up a few times but to actually feel a tear drop did it for her. All she wanted to do was get rid of Millie for good. She had wronged way too many people to still be breathing while everyone else was suffering.
"Papi you need help. She fucked you over time and time again and you're still holding her down. You don't deserve to be treated the way she treats you. You're one of greatest men I know and she never deserved you" April said softly trying to soothe him. Millie had fucked Dave over in one too many ways and for years he had been keeping shit locked in. Sure his brothers knew how he felt but he never really put it all out there.
"No I don't I'm good and I'll be good" he still didn't want help.
April sighed and let it go once again.
"I loved her. I gave her my all and in return she gave me her ass to kiss. Yet I still can't let her go. It's not fair"
"Papi one day you'll have to get rid of the baggage. She will never understand what kind of man she really had by her side when she had you"
"You call her baggage but she was once my life. I was doing all of this shit for her...for us and look at us now. I'm here with you and she's sitting in a cell"
April didn't know how to feel because to her it still sounded as if Millie had her shit together that Dave would be willing to brush all that shit to the side and give it another go. It was as if it didn't matter what she had done to him he would always be there for her. Her body stiffened against his and what was once a tight hold around his waist loosened. This made her think about what she wanted to ask him earlier. Her arms dropped and she backed away from him leaving a little space in between them. She just had to ask him. It was now or never. She cleared her throat and looked up at him making sure she looked him square in the eyes. She needed to be able to see every emotion and read him correctly.
"David I need to ask you something"
"What" he said as he wiped his hand over his face. He couldn't believe he was in tears.
"If Millie got what she paid for what would you have done" she asked as her heart pounded nervously in her chest as her feet stayed planted to the ground making her feel like she was glued to the floor. "To know that this is the life we're living and one day someone just takes my life away and you find out Millie was a part of it what would you have done" she questioned because she really needed to know.
"I don't want to talk bout that" He said trying to brush it off. This was always a question that ran through his mind as well and he never really knew what he would do if April was taken from him. He'd paint the city red all day long if it was anybody else. But if Millie was a part of it he just didn't know how he would deal with it. He wasn't even dealing with the shit she had already done.
"Just like you couldn't stay in the room with me that day...That day I needed you and in that moment you couldn't even be there for me. Yes I knew that it would be hard for you to deal with because at the end of the day she's still Kairi's mother but I didn't expect you to walk out on me. I needed you by my side. I had just found out that someone had paid someone else a few measly ass millions to kill me and you just left. Forget the money. Somebody wanted to fuckin kill me David and you walked out on me" she cried. "You fuckin walked out on me" she repeated.
"Do you know how I felt that day? Not only did I have to keep a straight face instead of crumbling in front of everyone but I had to watch you walk out on me too. My dad and uncle were there and they had to watch you leave my side when we're supposed to be a unit. My father gave you the green light and his blessing to marry me and in that moment he had to see the man he pretty much gave his daughter to walk out on her when you're supposed to be my protector, my voice of reason, and my other half" she said through tears as they poured out of her eyes and ran down her cheeks. She knew damn well that her father and uncle wasn't feeling that shit but for her sake they never said a word. Sure they all knew the news would trouble Dave but they all thought he'd at least stay by her side because not only was she troubled herself but she needed him. Honestly that day they needed each other.
"I would never fault you for feeling a way and being in your feelings but leaving my side hell yea because I would never leave yours. That day I learned the answer to the question I just asked you and honestly every time I think bout it, it makes me sick to my stomach" she said looking at Dave while clutching her stomach. "You wouldn't have done shit but made an excuse for her and try to keep her alive like you've been doing all this time but it's ok because my family would've dealt with it properly"
"I'm done with this shit! If it's gonna be pick and choose instead of staying by my side then maybe we shouldn't be together" Dave said looking at her as tears rained down her face. He was torn and he didn't want to be the source of her problems any longer especially when he didn't know how to deal with his own feelings at the moment.
April roughly wiped her hands over her face and burst out laughing. "Last time I checked you were either in or in and there was no way out"
"Well I'm giving you an out like you gave me"
"Are you serious right now" April asked infuriated that he would rather leave then get help. "So ya not gonna fight for us...for me"
"I'm tired of fighting. You don't think I love you completely and you think I'm putting Millie before you so what's the point" he said and shrugged as if what he was saying was nothing. Did he mean it? No, he just didn't know what to do and pushing her away sound like the best thing to do at the moment.
"What bout the kids" April asked a she wiped her eyes and her chest heaved in and out. She wanted to save them so damn bad but she couldn't. This wasn't her fight. "They can't see this shit. To them momma and daddy are good and I'd like to keep it that way"
"If I learned anything from being with Millie is that if we aren't good then the kids aren't good regardless of what we do to keep them out of our shit. What I do know is that they can't handle anymore sudden changes especially Kairi" Dave said and April understood what he meant. Kids picked up on everything and Kairi definitely didn't need any sudden changes but they both knew a sudden change was on the horizon. "But we'll figure it out. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to do us anymore"
"The invitations are already sent out. The wedding is in five months. We're in Barbados for God's sake planning and looking at the venue" she said broken hearted as hell. She thought it hurt the first time but this shit right here hurt ten times worse. She knew what the outcome would be but she had hope that things would be ok but this was far from ok. She thought he'd at least be willing to get help but no he was throwing in the towel. "So instead of fighting for us and everything we stand for you rather throw all this shit away. We just moved, bought a fuckin mansion, planned a fucking wedding, and this is it. So because you can't deal with the shit Millie's done to you, you rather break our fuckin home and my heart...again" she said as her foot tapped rapidly on the marble floor. "I swear had I known that you'd be this suck I'd a never gotten back with you and put me and the kids through this shit until I knew for sure y'all were done. But hey she always fuckin wins" she said but she knew he was acting out of impulse. It was too hot for him in the kitchen so he was bowing out.
"FUCK YOU AND FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT" Dave shouted and started to walk off before April grabbed his hand stopping him.
"I love you and I want to fight for you but I promised my son that after everything I went through with his father that I would never beg another man to love or stay with me. I know that I can't keep a man that doesn't want to be kept and I know how you are once ya head is stuck on something that's it. So I won't beg you. I've already fought for you and fought because of you so if you feel like you really want to walk away then go ahead. I'll miss you but I'll manage. Remember bouncing back is what I major in. I think ya acting on impulse or maybe ya tryna push me away. Whatever the case may be do what you gotta do. When ya really ready for this shit you know where to find me" she said and let his hand go. "But before you go...take this with you" she said and removed her engagement ring and placed it in his hand and made him cup it. "Give it to me when you're 100% ready for this shit" she said and walked off heart broken. Like she suspected it was The Beginning of the End...
End of Book 2...
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-Hey boos happy reading I hope y'all enjoyed😊. Yes this is the end of book 2 buttttttt stay tuned for book 3. I know there's a lot more things to cover like what's going to happen between April and Dave. Or what's going to happen with April and Hazel but I promise book 3 will have all of that including more of the other couples as well as the Scrubby Doo Gang. Not the happy ending y'all were expecting but the Millie Effect chapter made me do it 😈. It opened up a lot of ideas so yea. I was going to end the whole book at the wedding but so many other ideas popped up so I said fuck it let's keep the ball rolling. Besides I thought it would be the perfect way to end this book.
-As far as Dave and April I hate when they're at odds but they aren't perfect and I wanted to show you guys that all that glitters isn't gold. Yes I let April go off on Dave because like I said she's always the peace keeper when it comes to it. But she has her faults too and maybe she was harsh about things but it wasn't meant to hurt him. For Dave things are if it's out of sight then it's out of mind. Dave on the other hand has some serious issues and I get it Millie is his first love, the mother of his child, and he's attached to her but in order to have his happy ending he needs to deal with those issues. I know how some of y'all are and before y'all jump to conclusions this isn't April taking a dig at Dave AT ALL. Dave keeps things to himself because he doesn't like dealing with them well when it comes to Millie anyway. He doesn't want to feel the way he does but he can't help it. He knows something has to be done but he has to take the initiative and do it for himself and not for April. He is also dealing with a lot and he has every right to be in his feelings. He just needs to learn how to go about them because when he does things it's ok in his book but if April does the same thing he can't handle it. He's pretty much in denial. I wanted them to hash it out and put everything out on the table so y'all would get the gist of how both of them feel.
-Please keep the pitchforks to yourselves and don't come for me 😂. I know y'all love them together but I broke them up for a reason just like I did the first time. Dave is still stuck on the promises he made to Millie and honestly he never got closure. He just jumped from one relationship to the next. He never went and did any soul searching like April did and I feel like he needs to do that in order to be truly happy. As you can see even with April pushing him he still doesn't want to really tell her how he's feeling. So yes he's got some work to do.
-So how are you guys feeling and be honest 😂. Any suggestions for book 3 hit my inbox and let me know.
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