Chapter 56. Inside
I stunned, couldn't move when my husband slowly bending down on knees in front of me. Napatauptop ako sa aking bibig at tuluyan nang naestatwa sa kinatatayuan ko.
"T-Treice..." I uttered his name again. "W-What are you doing?" I asked an obvious.
Niyakap niya lang ang aking mga tuhod at hindi sinagot ang aking tanong. I lowered my head and looked at him. Both of his shoulders are moving, a symbol and a sign that he is crying right now. I bit my lower lip just to control my emotion. Seeing him in this situation making me weak.
"I-I am sorry..." he apologized. "I-I can't take it anymore, baby. H-Hindi ko na kayang malayo sa 'yo. I-It's been two months but I keeps missing you. B-Binigyan na kita ng dalawang buwan para makapag-isip-isip at sana... sapat na iyon. P-Please, come back to me, baby. I-I'm begging you..." he begged.
"T-Treice---"
"P-Please... don't push me away, Maris. S-Saktan mo lang ako, sisihin mo 'ko o kahit ano pa'ng gawin mo pero... huwag mo naman akong itaboy. B-Baby... I lose our child, I don't want to lose you, too... I can't."
I bended and held his arms around my knees. Unti-unti at dahan-dahan kong inaalis ang nakapalupot na mga braso niya sa tuhod ko ngunit mas hinigpitan niya pa iyon na halos ikinatumba ko. Good thing that I balanced myself and my body well.
"Treice, let go," I commanded.
"No!" he stubbornly shouted. "K-Kung kaya mong bumitiw, puwes ako, hindi ko kaya! I don't want to let go, Maris! I can't let go! Fuck! Bumalik ka na, please!" he pleaded desperately. "G-Gagawin ko ang lahat basta bumalik ka lang sa akin! Blame me more, Maris! Blame me!"
"T-Treice, tama na 'yan. Tumayo ka riyan---"
"I said no!" His voice thundered. "Desperado na kung desperado pero ayokong mawala ka, Maris! Putang ina naman! Mawala lang sa akin ang lahat, huwag ka lang!"
I gently pushed him away as I bended again. Mabuti na lang ay lumuwag ang pagkakayakap niya sa aking mga tuhod kaya napabitiw siya. I immediately leveled our face and cupped both of his cheeks.
He stared at me with teary eyes. "M-Maris..."
"I love you," I mouthed. "You can't and you won't lose me, Treice, you will never be." I chuckled after I said that. "Don't you remember that we're married, Treice? I am tied to you, there's no way that you'll lose me . I am sorry, hmm? And, baby... I don't want to blame you anymore... Wala kang kasalanan, okay? At hindi ka karapat-dapat sisihin, Treice. Malaking pagkakamali na sinisi kita sa lahat."
"B-Baby..." Bumagsak ang mga luha niya at niyakap niya ako nang mahigpit. "I love you, I love you so much," paulit-ulit niyang bulong.
Hinagod ko ang kaniyang likod. "Don't cry, my husband," I consoled. "Wala nang problema, Treice, wala na..."
Kumalas ako sa pagkakayakap sa kaniya at masuyong sinapo ang kaniyang magkabilang pisngi. I gave him a quick kiss on his lips before wiping his tears that already dried on his cheeks.
"Halatang stress ka na, oh, ang pangit mo na," I joked and chuckled. "Pero mahal pa rin kita..." dugtong ko sa mababang boses. "I am sorry for hurting you, for blaming you and for pushing you away. Nadala na talaga ako sa galit at puot. I didn't mean to throw those harsh words to you. I love you, Treice Von. I do love you and I will always love you, baby..."
"I don't care about it anymore, Maris. Wala akong pakialam sa mga binitiwan mong salita sa akin. Isang salitang mahal mo 'ko, kahit walang-wala na ako... lalaban ako para sa 'yo... Sapat nang sabihin mo na mahal mo 'ko, Maris, sapat na bumalik ka lang sa akin."
I punched his chest as I cried. "Ang gago mo talaga! Ang rupuk-rupok mo! Hindi ka pa ba nadala sa ginawa at sa mga sinabi ko sa 'yo? B-Bakit, Treice? Bakit ba ang bilis mong tanggapin ako? All I ever did was to hurt you, Treice..."
"Like I said, I don't care about anything... I only care about you, I only care about your love, Maris... Kahit saktan mo man ako nang paulit-ulit ay babalik at babalik pa rin ako sa 'yo. Kahit ipagtabuyan mo pa ulit ako, ikaw pa rin ang mahal ko. Maris... I can't mad at you, I can't hate you because I don't wanna lose you..."
"I am sorry..." I mumbled. "I was so selfish, Treice... I never hurt you once, I hurt you for how many times. S-Sinubukan ko rin na kalimutan ka at... sinubukan ko rin na burahin ka sa mga ala-ala ko pero hindi ko magawa, Treice. No matter what I do, I can't get over you... I tried to forget you, Treice, but my heart really wants you..."
He smiled. "Because you are meant to me, Maris. Kahit ano man ang gagawin mo ay sa akin ka pa rin babagsak at ako pa rin ang mahal mo. I never believed in love before... not until I met you... You opened my mind and my heart, Maris. You made me believe that true love do exist. Akala ko pa nga naman noon ay hindi ko mararanasan ang magmahal, eh, pero bigla kang dumating..."
"Did you still remember that you offered me to be your fuck buddy, Treice?" I reminded him.
Napatawa ang lahat sa paligid namin nang marinig ang sinabi ko. I looked around and saw the people I love. Nandito sina mommy at daddy Gio, nandito rin sina Strawberry at Jake, even Zani is here also. Siyempre, nandito naman talaga sina Jessica, Phoenix at Kim.
"I remembered that, baby," Treice said in a lower voice. "Doon tayo nagsimula, eh. Bakit ko naman kalilimutan iyon, 'di ba? I was very thankful that I offered you a no strings attached thing. Kung hindi ko kasi ginawa iyon, baka hindi tayo humantong sa ganito."
I held both of his hands. Both of us stood up together. Hinapit niya kaagad ako sa aking baywang nang tuluyan na kaming nakatayo. Mabuti na lang ay ginawa niya iyon dahil kung hindi, baka nawalan na ako ng balanse at natumba na.
"I love you," he whispered to my ear huskily.
"Ang drama n'yo naman. Ang dami n'yo pang palabas, magbabalikan naman kayo," puna ni Zani na kumuha sa aming atensyon.
"Zan..." I uttered her name.
Kumalas ako sa pagkakayapos ni Treice at mabilis na lumapit sa kaibigan at niyakap nang mahigpit si Zani. Hinagod niya kaagad ang likod ko at hinalikan ako sa gilid ng aking noo.
"Miss na kita," she said whispery before letting me go.
"I missed you, too," I whispered back. "I am sorry, Zani---"
"Huwag ka ngang mag-sorry sa akin, wala ka namang kasalanan, eh. Basta okay kayo ni kuya, okay rin sa akin ang lahat, Steris," sabi niya sa mahinhin na tinig. "Pagpasensyahan mo rin ako sa mga sinabi ko sa 'yo. I am not siding my brother, I just wanted to state the fact. Akala ko pa naman ay ikaw ang masasaktan sa inyo ni kuya, eh, siya pala."
"I am sorry," I said.
Umirap siya. "Sorry ka nang sorry. Basta, huwag mo nang ulitin 'yong ginawa mo. Natuto ka naman siguro, hindi ba?"
"I swear, I won't push your brother away from me again," I promised.
"Huwag kang mangako, gawin mo," madiing aniya. "Nagalit man ako kay kuya pero hindi ko gustong saktan siya, 'no, kapatid ko pa rin naman siya kahit ano man ang mangyari."
"I think, you two can talk later?"
Naputol ang usapan namin ni Zani nang biglang lumapit si Jessica sa amin at sinabi iyon. Tinaasan siya ng kilay ni Zani at awkward na napangiti lang siya rito. Marahan na hinawakan lang ni Jessica ang siko ko.
"I think, sila muna ang mag-talk ng husband niya?" patanong niyang sabi sa kaibigan ko.
"Fine," Zani surrendered and sighed before facing me again. "Tama siya," sang-ayon niya at nginuso si Jessica. "Mas mabuting mag-usap kayo ni kuya nang matino at nang kayo lang dalawa. Makapaghintay naman ako at alam kong kakausapin mo rin naman ako, hindi mo 'ko matitiis, eh."
"Oh... It was okay with her daw, talk to your husband na raw, Steris," si Jessica at hinatak ako habang sinisenyas si Treice. "Let's go, Steris."
"Grabe naman 'yang kaibigan mo, Ris, ha. Mas excited pa siya na mag-usap kayo ni kuya," kumento lang ni Zani at ngumisi.
Umiling na lang ako sa kaniya at tuluyan nang nagpahatak kay Jessica pabalik kay Treice. Lumayo kaagad siya sa amin at iniwan niya ako sa asawa ko.
"Uhm... L-Let's talk?" I lifted my head to my husband as I asked him. "I-If you don't mind... follow me to my room."
He chuckled. "I love it every time you stuttering like that, baby," he said hoarsely. "Come on, lead me to your room, babe."
"U-Uh, sige," wika ko at tumango bago nilingon sina mommy. "M-Mom, u-usap lang po muna kami ni Treice sa kuwarto ko."
Jake suddenly whistled. "Mukhang jackpot 'to, ha. Makaka-score yata si master nito."
I blushed because of what he said. Alam ko kung ano 'yong tinutukoy niya kahit hindi niya pa sabihin nang diretso iyon. I know how playful Jake is, pareho sila ni Treice, eh. Mukhang magsisimula na ako sa panibagong buhay na puno na naman ng kabulastugan at kapilyuhan nila.
"Mag-uusap lang kami, Jake," Treice said gravely. "Mamaya ka sa 'kin, dre, kung anu-ano na 'yang pumapasok sa isipan mo, ha."
"Aba, malay ba namin?" Humalakhak pa si Jake, inaasar kami ni Treice. "Hindi na rin ako magtataka kung bakit may mabubuo---"
"Tama na nga 'yan!" I was so relieved that Strawberry immediately stopped her boyfriend. "Agaw eksena ka palagi, eh!"
Matapos naming magpaalam sa lahat ay mabilis na tinahak namin ni Treice ang silid ko. Hinila ko siya patungo roon para makapag-usap kaming dalawa na kami lang talaga. Gusto ko rin naman pag-usapan ang lahat, eh, para magkalinawan na kaming dalawa.
"Uhm... This is my room," I told him as we finally reached my room. "Dito ako pinatuloy nina Jessica," I added.
"I wonder, baby... How did Kissy and your friend became lovers?" he suddenly asked, ignoring everything I said.
Kumibit-balikat ako. "I don't know also. Hindi rin naibanggit ni Phoenix sa akin, eh, nagulat lang din naman ako."
"Kim told me everything," he said suddenly. "She explained to me and I heard her out. I don't wanna believe her not until I found out that she's not lying to me. Gusto ko ring magalit sa kaniya dahil sa nagawa niya sa 'yo."
"We're okay now," I informed him out of the blue. "You don't have to be mad at her because it wasn't her fault, Treice, it was an accident."
Matapos kong sabihin iyon ay hinatak ko siya patungo sa kama at pinaupo siya roon. Umupo kaagad ako sa may espasyo sa tabi niya bago humilig sa balikat niya. He immediately hooked his arm around my shoulder possessively.
"I missed this, holding you like this," he muttered. "Akala ko pa nga naman ay hindi ka na babalik sa akin, eh. Tuluyan na talaga akong mawawala sa sarili ko kapag mangyari iyon. 'Di ko kakayanin iyon, eh. Nawala na nga 'yong anak natin, pati ba naman ikaw?"
"I am sorry," I mumbled. "Despite of everything, Treice, you're still the man I love. I don't care about your flaws. As long as you love me, I am contented, Treice. Sobrang suwerte ko nga dahil sa kabila ng lahat ay hindi mo pa rin ako sinukuan, hindi mo pa rin ako tinalikuran..."
"Pa'no ko naman susukuan ang babaeng bumuo sa akin? Paano ko susukuan ang babaeng nagturo sa akin kung paano magmahal?" he asked and held my hand. "Maris, kung sinukuan kita, ubos na ako ngayon... Kung sinukuan kita, hindi ko na alam kung paano pa magmahal. Baka nga kahit sarili ko ay hindi ko na magawang mahalin, eh."
"I love you," I said and sobbed. "And I fucking hate you, Treice. Sobrang bilis mong tanggapin ako, eh, sobrang bilis mong magpatawad. Isang salita ko lang ay tanggap mo na kaagad ako."
He laughed. "You are my world, baby, and you are my life... without you, I am nothing now. Ganito talaga ako, eh, marupok pagdating sa 'yo. Kahit saktan mo man ako nang paulit-ulit ay hindi pa rin kita susukuan. Kahit mapagod man ako, hindi kita bibitiwan. Hindi ko rin naman kayang gawin iyon, eh, dahil sobrang mahal na mahal kita."
I lifted my hands and reached for his cheeks, I cupped it and kissed him on his lips. He immediately responded to my initiating kiss. His hand went to my nape and caressed it.
Napatayo ako mula sa aking pagkakaupo at napaluhod sa pagitan ng nakabukang binti ni Treice. I placed my hands on his shoulders before I encircled my arms around his neck, still kissing him.
"I love you," I whispered between kisses.
"I love you, Stella Maris. I love you, mrs. Evans," he whispered back before he cut the kiss.
I bit my lower lip and stared at his oceanic eyes. Nakangiti siya ngayon at hindi ko rin napigilan ang aking sarili na mapangiti rin, nadala na rin sa kaniya. Ginulo ko lang ang kaniyang buhok bago hinaplos iyon.
"I want to make love with you right now, baby," he said.
"I want it, too. I missed you inside me, Treice..." I blushed when I said that.
He chuckled huskily. "And I missed entering you, baby."
- End of Chapter 56 -