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"Help me!" I screamed as my voice became raspy. I'm surprised I still have a voice after all this screaming. "Cypress." Someone put their hands on my shoulder and pushed me down.
"Let go!!!" "Cypress! Cypress!" I stopped moving. "Johanna?" My voice cracked. "I'm here." I smiled, I pulled her into a hug.
"I told them not to touch me and they didn't stop." Her hand went up and down on my back. "I know, I'm sorry." My chest went up and down fast with each breath. "It burns." "What does?" "My chest, it feels like I've been running." "It's just your heart rate going up from adrenaline. It's okay your safe."
I shook my head. "No. I'm never safe." I pulled away to look at her, she looks so much different. "You had hair before, right?" She laughed slightly. "Yes, I heard your memory isn't that good anymore."
"I remember my games and the quarter quell. And the screams." "What do you mean." "Leo's. He's so loud but... he screamed on purpose. To trap me."
I said his name as if he was still alive. It didn't hurt to say.
"Was Leo nice?" "I don't know I've never met him." "I can't remember. I know I was the monster cause I killed him." "You are never a monster Cypress."
"Johanna, what did the capital do to you?" "It was nothing compared to what they did to you." I tilted my head.
"What did they do?" "To me?" She asked tilting her head just like I did. "Yes, but to me. You said it was nothing compared to what they did to me?" "You don't remember?"
I looked around where I was before answering. I'm in the infirmary where I was once getting shots from Prim.
There was a curtain up that normally isn't.
"Who's over there?" I pointed at the curtain. Johanna gave me a look of uncertainty, I could tell she wanted to continue asking me about the capital.
"Katniss, she was shot I think." "What!" How long was I asleep for. Was I asleep? I don't sleep in the infirmary, do I?
Johanna got up suddenly. "Jo?" She yanked the curtain to show a now awake Katniss.
"Johanna let her sleep!" I'm glad one thing I remember is how to scold Johanna.
"Well, there she is. The mockingjay." I fought the urge to pull out all the needles in my arm instead I grabbed the pole they're all attached to and walked over.
My legs wobbled with every step I took. I wanted to just stand but my legs felt like jello so I sat on Katniss bed opposite of Johanna.
She looked at me confused then went back to Johanna. "Oh, that speech you gave. Oh, man, feel. I mean I still have goosebumps."
What speech?
Johanna pulled out Katniss medicine out of her arm and stuck it in hers. I grimaced at the needle.
"Jo, that's probably not sanitary. And she needs the medicine!" "They cut off my supply of morphling. There's this head doctor that comes in and sees me everyday, trying to help me adjust to reality. Like some guy from this rabbits warren actually knows anything about my reality." I leaned over and put my hand on Johanna's shoulder.
"At least twenty times in a session, he tells me I'm totally safe. Safe from the Capitol. Safe from Snow."
I looked away from them and stared at the medicine that's dripping from the bag to a cable like thing then into my arm.
"What about you, mockingjay? You feeling totally safe?" "Till I got shot." Katniss spoke for the first time.
Glad to hear her voice is better.
"Oh, please. The bullet didn't even touch you. Cinna saw to that. Of course your costume would be bulletproof." "I'm glad your safe." I could feel their eyes on me but I continued to stare at my medicine.
"So what are your injuries?" Johanna grabbed Katniss' other arm to look at her band. "Bruised ribs, bruised lung."
"I'm surprised they haven't found you a new lung. I mean I've got two. Do you want one of mine? I mean it's everybody's job to keep you alive."
"Keeping people alive costs more than a lung." I flicked the cable making more drips fall from the bag.
"Is that why you hate me?" "Partly. You also a little hard to swallow. The whole tack romance drama and the 'defender of the hopeless' act. Even though it's not an act. Which makes it even more unbearable. Feel free to take any of this personally." I looked back at them finally, I swallowed hard before I spoke.
"I used to hate you, then the night of the lightning tree I saw how much Peeta actually cared for you. I didn't really see it before. I just thought it was all an act for the Capitol. But being in the Capitol with Peeta I realized how wrong I was." My mouth and cheeks shook as tears made there way to my eyes.
"When you sang the hanging man song and Peeta warned you, you should have heard his screams. The beating he took for you, that was true. And I just couldn't hate you anymore." I quickly wiped my hand across my face.
I wish people didn't scream when they were in pain, cause you will never forget the sound.
"You should have been the mockingjay." I shook my head. "No, Snow had and has to much control over me."
"I want you to be the face of reason. The districts are rebelling. And with the death of Katniss, they won't listen to Peeta. But you, they know you and love you. They'll listen to you. And if you don't do what I say.."
"At the Capitol Katniss your the only thing their scared of." Johanna said, a loud bang made me jump. I looked over and it was Johanna looking through Katniss' things.
"It's just stuff my family brought." She placed back down a necklace, then picked up a pearl. "This from Peeta?" "Yeah."
Johanna scoffed. "They messed us up pretty good, didn't they?" Johanna put the pearl down and walked out.
"Katniss?" She hummed in response. "You still love Peeta, right? I mean this time apart and all the things he said in the interviews with Caesar? Do you?" I looked down picking at my nails, in anticipation of what she says.
She paused for a moment before answering. "Yeah, I mean do you still love Finnick after all the things you've said?" My head snapped up to her.
"Love Finnick? I just met him." Her eyebrows creased together. "What? But..." "I have to go." I said quickly.
My chest went up and down uncontrollably fast. My head was starting to feel like a balloon trying to pop. I gripped the cold sliver pole trying to hold myself steady.
Love Finnick? Repeated in my head.
My hand went up to my neck. I started to rub my chest as if clawing at my skin would make me breathe.
My legs felt as if they gave out on me cause I'm on the floor within a second. I pushed myself up against the wall.
I couldn't catch my breath, it feels like a panic attack but normally they don't last this long.
My right leg started to shake. Then my left leg. Then my hands. And then I just couldn't stop.
——
— Finnick's pov —
"So it was just from shock?" I asked Beetee as he put new medicine in Cypress.
"After talking to Katniss apparently she said something about you loving Cypress and it was a lot for her to handle." "But what made her have a seizure?" Roland asked.
"Could've been anything, I'm just guessing the medicine they used on her." "Your guessing!" I yelled.
"It's an educated guess." "But a guess none the less!" "Yes! Fine, I am. I have no clue what they did! I want our Cypress back like the rest of you, but the brain especially memories are very complex!"
"They didn't get rid of her memory." We all turned to the new voice in the room. I was shocked to see Johanna... who is now bald.
"What?" "Yeah." "Johanna what do you know?" I asked eagerly.
"Not a lot, but maybe enough to help. Every night or day... there was no windows." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Jo!"
She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, yes they would give her medicine but it wasn't to get rid of her memory. They sorta basically I guess hypnotized her." I looked at Roland we both had looks of she's definitely lying. But Beetee had a look for Johanna to keep talking.
"They would put these headphones on her while she was asleep, I only caught a little bit of it but it said 'There is no Finnick. The Capital is good.' I guess the Capitol is good part didn't stick with her though."
"That means there's a chance it can be undone." "Jo, why didn't you say anything before?" "Cause I didn't know what was happening. Or if that information was even relevant."
I smiled down at Cypress. There's a chance I could get my Angel back.
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