'We must travel in the direction of our fears.' (John Berryman, 1942, A Point of Age, in Poems).
A big thank you to @NatashaJaneReid my AMAZING friend in real life that has helped me edit and think of ideas for this story. Honestly thank you so much! Guys, definitely check out her works! She's fantastic! :)
Dedication: LovelyOwls for the awesome cover!
Recap:
"Get out."
"Faith-"
"Get the hell out of my room." I spat.
His hands were held up in some sort of a peace signal. He nodded in understanding, backing slowly out of my room. I think he was scared to turn his back on me, in case I went for him again. I still felt like it, but I was too tired. I had to get to work, although all I wanted to do was cry and curl up in a ball on my bed.
Xavier said he would get back at me for punching him.
He did. He got me where it hurts the most.
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I felt sick. The moment I saw my letter in Xavier's hand, I felt sick.
It has been three days and we'd spoken about two words to each other. I acted as though he didn't exist. He tried to talk to me, but I didn't acknowledge his presence. In the end, he gave up. At school, I was distracted enough to not think about the fact that he knew. As soon as I took one step inside my home, I was blatantly reminded that he did.
"You can't stay mad at him forever," Brooklyn reasoned, pushing her glasses back into her hair, her vivid, green eyes swivelling to mine.
"Watch me."
"He didn't know."
"So? He shouldn't have gone through my personal things. That's not a good enough justification."
"You technically went through his first."
I glowered at her. Brooklyn sighed, giving up. She knew any type of arguing with me would be pointless.
"How's the fair coming along?" I asked, opting to change subjects.
"Fine, no thanks to you." She glared and I shrugged. "It would be really helpful for you to come this afternoon for last minute prep actually. People will listen to you. You're scary."
A smirk appeared at my lips, the thoughts of Xavier momentarily slipping from my mind. "I guess I can stop by for a few minutes. Only because I like you. And Alex will be coming too."
"Alex is already organising the kissing booth," Brooklyn laughed. "He's going a little overboard with it."
"You knew he would," I pointed out with a smile.
I could just imagine the elaborate decorations he has organised. Knowing him, he would have ordered in decorations from some famous company I've never heard of. I then would be scolded for not knowing said company and forced to endure a lecture on why this particular company could change my life. I grimaced at the thought of it.
Brooklyn suddenly cleared her throat. "Xavier, 12 o'clock."
Unpleasant thoughts of Xavier slammed back into my mind. I stood abruptly and headed towards the coffee cart. I heard his footsteps stop. He obviously was coming over to speak to me. I begged in my mind for him to get the hint and go away. Of course, I had no such luck.
"I've never seen you drink coffee."
Damn. He followed me. I sighed, pivoting to face him. "I do. Sometimes. It's not for me."
"I almost thought you were avoiding me, still."
"Do I have a reason to be avoiding you?"
"Faithless, come on." He pleaded, attempting to actually look sincere. "I'm sorry. I won't ever go through your things again."
"Alright."
He groaned, knowing I still wasn't forgiving him. "What that asshole did isn't right."
"Don't." I snapped, glaring at him. "Just don't."
"Okay," he said, taking a step back. "Sorry, I just-"
"Xavier, piss off." With that, I turned and strode back to the table with Brooklyn. She gave me a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.
"Breathe."
"No."
"In and out," she insisted, her voice calm.
This boy was sending me back months in anger management.
***
"Stop stressing, it's going to be fine," I insisted.
Brooklyn, was a nervous wreck beside me. Her knuckles had turned white as her hands were clamped tightly together. We were getting ready for the fair and she was convinced the entire event was going to be a bust.
"You don't know that."
"I do. I was there for last minute prep, it's all under control. Alex's booth is going to be a hit."
"Going to give it a go with a particular roommate of yours?" She asked, wriggling her eyebrows suggestively. I was glad she was calming down but not impressed that she was now focusing her attention on Xavier and myself.
"I'll hit you."
She laughed and I smiled, rolling my eyes. I tucked my navy shirt into my high-waisted jeans. As the fair was on at night, the weather was cool. I shrugged a knitted, black cardigan over my shirt and stepped into my boots.
"You need to get some music that calms you down." I pointed out as I pulled my iPhone from my dock. I slipped it into my pocket and swivelled to face her, officially ready to go. "It helps."
"Well, I used to enjoy listening to Eminem until I met you."
I grinned. Eminem was my favourite artist. Therefore, I listen to all his songs on repeat. It drove Brooklyn crazy because I never got sick of them. I can't help it. If I'm mad, I listen to Eminem. If I'm sad? Eminem. Happy? Eminem. He was a rap God, no pun intended.
"Fair point. Let's go."
I ventured downstairs, keeping my eyes peeled for Xavier. It appears he has already left. Once the front door swung open, the cool night air nipped at my exposed skin. Hugging my cardigan to myself, I briskly walked towards Brooklyn's car. I texted Alex, letting him know we were leaving, just as she began edging out of my driveway.
Groaning, I reclined back in my seat. "Alex said to give him 10, he's still getting 'glammed up'."
"Typical." Brooklyn muttered.
After in fact twenty minutes, Alex, Brooklyn and I were parking out the front of the fair. I shivered slightly as the cool wind slapped my face.
"Looks like a success so far." I said as I scanned the abundance of glowing lights. I could hear groups of people babbling. I gave Brooklyn a reassuring arm squeeze as we began wandering towards the entry. Seemed like there was quite a crowd already.
"If Joseph hasn't got my booth going I'm going to have a BF." Alex clipped with a frown, referring to the American comedy 'White Chicks'. I rolled my eyes and hoped that poor Joseph did have it under control, otherwise he would never hear the end of it.
"You could have stayed for the start of the fair after setting up." I pointed out.
"And not get glammed? Like hello, my hair was flat."
Brooklyn snorted and covered it up with a cough, just as we reached the entry. We all got free passes as we helped set up. I didn't really do much of the said 'setting up' but wasn't going to complain.
"Hello, hello," a familiar voice said. Our other friend, Grace, materialised by our side, arm looped with her boyfriend, Aaron. Grace and I have always gotten along well but ever since Aaron became joined to her hip, our friendship slowly faded.
We were still good friends, but it became more of a 'Faith, Alex and Brooklyn' trio, instead of us four being a mini crew. Aaron seemed nice enough, don't get me wrong, but he didn't have to be by her side 24/7. Or not let her reply to our texts. Or let her have Facebook. Or let her hang out with us without him having to be there as well.
"Hey."
"The fair is great, B." She grinned, giving Brooklyn and radiant smile. "Makes me wish I joined in with helping!"
"Like you'd be allowed," I muttered, earning a glare from Aaron and a painful elbow in the side from Brooklyn.
Grace's smile didn't waver as she beamed at us. "Anyway, we best be moving on."
"Of course." I couldn't help it, my mouth had a mind of its own. "Great to see you as always, Aaron."
Once they were walking away, Brooklyn flicked my in the forehead.
"Ow," I complained.
"You can never bite your tongue, can you?"
"What? I was polite."
"You just can't help yourself." She sighed.
"I agree with Faith." Alex chimed in and I nodded at him with respect. "Grace always hated girls who ditched their friends for their boyfriend and she straight up turned into one."
"She's still the same Grace we love, though."
"No, not really." Brooklyn frowned at me and I shrugged. I wasn't sorry for how I felt. I wasn't the one who betrayed her friends.
"What the hell is that?" Alex suddenly barked. His hands were planted on his hips as he glared at an unfamiliar decoration hanging from his colourfully decorated booth. "Moronic, thick-headed jock!"
He stormed off from us and I couldn't help laugh and sympathise with Joseph. He was definitely in over his head working with Alex.
"Shall we go to the balloon popping?" Brooklyn asked, her eyes walking over the fair.
"Sure."
The lines were getting longer by the second. We headed straight for the balloon popping, as it didn't have as many people yet. I scanned over the prizes, my eyes landing on a giant, white tiger.
"I'm going to win that tiger."
Although my words weren't directed at anyone, the man behind me turned around and laughed.
"Good luck with that, sweetheart."
"Watch me." I declared, jutting out my chin.
Even though hardly anyone was there, it felt like ages before our turn. It probably didn't take the long in reality, I'm just impatient.
"Don't blow it."
A sigh escaped me. I turned and Xavier stood there, lazily leaning on the power pole beside the booth.
"I'll win it."
"Bet you won't."
I jumped as one of the balloons popped. Brooklyn had begun her turn.
"Let's make a deal," Xavier offered, stepping towards me. "If you win it, I'll leave you alone the rest of the night. If I win it, you have to ride the Ferris Wheel with me."
I stared at him. Typical. The Ferris Wheel was famous for couples or people soon-to-be, to ride and kiss at the top. It was cliché and I usually made fun of the people who went on it.
"Or if you're too scared I'll beat you," Xavier shrugged, leaning back onto the pole. "I'd understand."
Then again, my pride usually won.
"You're on."
Xavier grinned, moving toward me. Luckily the people behind us were to busy gabbing about where they were going to go next to notice Xavier push in. He stood annoyingly close behind me as I attempted to line up a balloon. I could feel his hot breath on the back of my neck, making my hair stand.
I turned, narrowing my eyes. "Can you not?"
He raised his hands in a peace signal and stepped back. I turned once more, readying myself. Just as I threw the dart, his lips were by my ear.
"Shank."
As I jumped, the dart went up and missed the entire balloon line. I growled in anger. I only had two shots left. Unless I hit big numbered balloons, I wasn't going to get the tiger.
"You can't cheat!"
"We never discussed rules."
"That's one of them!" I snapped. "Now go away."
"Yes ma'am."
My next two turns, I successfully hit balloons. However, the points earned weren't high enough to win the tiger. I felt my cheeks turn hot. In the mix of the action, Brooklyn had slipped away. At least she wasn't there to see me lose. I turned my attention to Xavier, who smirked at me cockily. He threw all darts at the same time, each popping a balloon.
"You didn't win." I sneered, turning my eyes to the Carnie. He stood there, looking at me uncomfortably. "Tell me he didn't win."
He scratched his forehead. "Well..."
"Seriously?" I exclaimed as he reached up and pulled the tiger down. How the hell did he do that? I stared angrily as the Carnie handed the tiger over, refusing to look me in the eye.
"Hook, line and sinker." Xavier smirked. "Now, about that Ferris Wheel ride?"
A dramatic groan left my lips. I only made that deal because I thought I was going to win. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and steered me towards the stupid ride. My face was twisted into a scowl. Rumours were going to spread like wildfire once we're spotted riding together.
"How's your night going?" he asked me as we stepped into the line. I shrugged out of arm and wrapped my own around myself.
"Great until now."
"Can hardly blame you, I have an impeccable throw."
I began muttering under my breath. The line for this ride was significantly shorter. Soon enough, the Carnie was waving us over. I settled into the not-so-comfortable, wooden seat, the bar being secured in front of me.
"You two have fun," he smirked and my scowl deepened.
I inched as far as I could from him. I shouldn't have agreed to this.
"Don't think for a second that you're getting a kiss."
"You can't break tradition, Faithless." He argued, propping up on his elbow and gazing at me.
"I can and I will, thank you."
"You're no fun."
My lips parted as I watched over the bar. The lights looked really nice from this view. The lines were growing longer as more people began clustering around the booths.
"Sweetcheeks, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."
I dragged my eyes from the view and to the boy sitting beside me. The smirk was gone from his face as he stared at me.
"I really am. I won't talk about what I read again. I'm sorry."
He actually looked sincere. I sighed, biting my lip. The air was even colder now that we had gone up a little higher. He wrapped his arm around me and this time, I didn't push him away. I snuggled into him, his warmth feeling nice against my cool skin.
"I accept your apology."
"What?"
I breathed a laugh, resting my head back and staring up into the sky. The cool air must be getting to me.
"I accept it."
"You feeling okay?"
I rolled my eyes. "Shut up and take it."
The cart shuddered to a stop. I peered over the edge and realised we had reached the top.
"At least let me kiss you on the cheek." Xavier reasoned. I moved from his grip and stared at him coolly.
"You're pushing your luck."
He grinned. Before letting me say anything more, he leaned forward. His warm lips pressed against my cold cheek. I closed my eyes. My face tingled slightly at his contact. I hated the weird rush of emotions that filled me. I hated that I wanted him to kiss me properly. His lips dragged across my skin, towards my ear.
"I paid the balloon Carnie to let me win the tiger."
My eyes snapped open. I reeled back.
"You what?"
He laughed at my expression. "I wanted to have a few moments with you when it was just you. So, I rigged it."
"And you just knew I going to accept the deal?"
"Um, yeah? You're the most competitive person I know."
"Touche."
Surprisingly, I wasn't that mad at him for rigging the competition. It was cute, in a weird way. Not that I would ever tell him that. And smart. I wouldn't ever tell him that, either.
"To be honest, I was kind of expecting a slap."
I laughed. "You deserve one."
I'm not sure if it was the air, the fact that he apologised or that I was tired of being angry at him that made me feel so eerily calm, but whatever it was, I was grateful. Being angry all the time sucked a lot of energy from me.
The wheel jolted forward and we began moving once more. Admittedly, I didn't really want the ride to end.
"I would have won if you didn't cheat." I muttered.
"And there it is," he laughed as we began to lower to the ground.
I grinned as the Carnie removed the bar from in front of us. Xavier bent down and scooped the tiger up. In the midst of the ride, I'd actually forgotten about it. He handed it to me and I couldn't help but smile.
"Pleasure, as always." Xavier smirked, our fingers brushing as I took the tiger from him.
"Wish I could say the same."
"Oh and by the way," Xavier said as I began to walk from him, my new toy tucked underneath my arm. "You accepted my apology. No take backs."
I just rolled my eyes, hugging the tiger closer to me.
That boy is full of surprises.
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