LIZZIE'S POV
Waking up my head hurt, I blinked my eyes open adjusting to the dimly lit room the curtains dampening the sun's morning shine. I immediately panicked when Nell wasn't beside me sitting up too quickly I squeezed my eyes shut and held my head. I slowly opened my eyes readjusting, she wasn't on the sofa with me. She always sleeps with me. Did we argue? Did she leave? Did she come home with me? "Nell?" I called out softly not knowing what time it was. I sit up properly, putting my feet down and I feel a leg under my foot as it brushed it gently. I looked down and she was there asleep on the floor still in her dress from last night and make-up still covering her perfect skin. "Angel." I nudged her and she blinked her eyes open. "Are you okay?" She mumbled. "Why are you on the floor?" "You wanted to hold my hand." She says sitting up slowly. "So you slept on the floor?" "You wouldn't move over on the sofa so it was either listen to you cry or lay on the floor." She twisted her back clicking it and I cringed at the sound. "My head hurts." She pointed to the side table and I reached for the water and the pill. I guzzled all the fluids down wanting to rehydrate quickly to stop feeling so awful.
"I was crying?" "You thought you lost me at the club." She says amused still sitting on the floor waking up. "Aunt Nell." Rose ran in and dived on Nell who caught her easily. "Morning Bug." She kissed the top of Rose's head before helping her climb up on the sofa to me. "Morning, Princess." I pecked her head as she cuddled into me. Scarlett came in. "You're on the floor." "I am," Nell says still half asleep her eyes half open as she readjusts her back.
"Are you okay?" She asked me. I nodded and smiled at her. "I'm going to go shower." She knelt up to kiss my cheek before leaving. "Why was she on the floor?" Scarlett asked. "I woke up crying because I thought I lost her so she slept there to hold my hand because I wouldn't move," I explained. She had a fond smile gracing her lips. "What?" "She really is your personal Angel." She said and I nodded agreeing. I've said it since the day I met her, she is my saving grace.
The longer I sat here without her in the room the more anxious I grew, snuggles with Rose weren't enough to calm me. I had bad days and good days and I guess today was a bad day. "I'm going to go shower," Scarlett smirked. "Head out of the gutter," I warned her putting Rose on the sofa beside me so she can continue to watch Nell's phone. I unlocked it for her when Scar and I started talking to keep her entertained and she knows exactly where youtube is.
I slowly climbed the stairs still feeling sensitive and reached our room, she was still showering probably trying to ease the muscle pain with the hot water. I push open the door and she was singing softly to the music that played on the speaker. "Princess?" She says when I closed the door too. "It's me," I confirm sitting on the toilet seat. She popped her head out of the shower to look at me. She scanned me over before going back into the shower but moments later the water shut off and I was blessed with her getting out of the shower. "Eyes up here, Olsen." She teased before wrapping herself in a towel, her body was littered with fading love bites, nowhere visible unless she was to wear a bikini but she's only at the house when she does wear them so it's not so bad.
"You want a shower?" She asked me as she walked to the mirror. "No." "I'll stay in here. I need to do my hair." "Why?" "It's Saturday, I have that meeting with Rokh... I told you about it. For next season's shoots." I tried to hide my pout as she looked over her shoulder at me. "You can spend the day with Scarlett." "I want you," I tell her standing up and stripping off. "I'll be gone for three hours max." She turned to face her eyes dropped to scan my body just like I did to her only difference being she looked perfect always. "Can't you miss it today?" "I pushed it last week, Princess." I had a panic attack the morning of and she stayed home to take care of me. I felt guilty knowing she'd worry all day after I asked her to stay home. I'd be okay I just liked knowing she was here in case I had an attack or an episode.
I climbed into the shower and she stood in the bathroom blowdrying her hair. When I got out she was just finishing up. "How's your head, Princess?" "Better." She pecked my forehead. "Can I show you something?" I nodded. She looked around. "Where's my phone?" "Oh, Rose has it." "Oh, never mind I'll show you later." "What is it?" "You last night." My face dropped. "What did I do?" "B A...N A...N A...NA...N A S." She mocked in an over the top teen girl American accent. "I didn't," I say and she nodded with an amused smile on her lips as she held back her laughter. "To every single person, you possibly could get to listen to you. "No." "Yeah, Henry, Matty, the bartender, me like 4 million times. MK, Ash." I chuckled. "Oh gosh... I spelt it how you did?" "Well I don't just go around spelling bananas wrong, Liz." she laughed more. "I don't know." "I still don't know where you heard that song, it was just random. You started singing it when we finished our fourth drink and it was on a constant loop." "Why do you put up with me?" I asked amused she wrapped her arms around my waist. "Because I love you, everything about you. Even your drunken singing." I pecked her lips. "You need to give Henry a bonus this year, a big one." She tells me and I agreed. He puts up with a lot! "I will."
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we both get ready and she left me alone in the dressing room to go make us something to eat. I came into the kitchen to a beautiful sight, Nell had Rosie on her hip as she made me muffins, Rose was helping her and they were dancing around to the music that's just constantly on at this point. Nell was smiling from ear to ear as she entertained Rose. It made me think about the mornings to come with her and our own children on her hip as she makes breakfast. It warmed my heart knowing that it's not so out of reach anymore, we were really going to have babies of our own, our own family in our home. It was really happening.
"Oh look who's here," Nell says excitedly to Rose when she notices me. Rose reached for me. "Careful she has flour on her hands." "I thought you were making breakfast," I say as I take Rose straight to the sink. "I have. It's there." She pointed to the avocado on toast. "These are for later." "Thank you." I pecked her cheek as I went past to get a paper towel to dry Rose's hands. "Where's Scar?" "She's getting ready, you two are going out today." She informs me. "I thought I could just come to sit in, in your meeting." "You need to not be with me today." She says turning to face me. Was I getting too much for her? Was she starting to get tired of my constant need to be near her when I get like this? "As much as I love having you with me every second of the day, you need to be able to cope without me there." "But you're always there." "Not when you're filming I'm not, sometimes we're in different states. Or when we visit our families we're not always together for that either. It's not healthy." "But I don't care you make it better." "I don't do anything." "Yes, you do." "Princess, don't get upset okay." "No, I am going to get upset because you." She took Rose off me and handed her to someone behind me cutting me off. It was Ashley.
"Princess." She took both my hands. "I want to know you're going to be okay when we get back to our normal." I held her hands tighter at the thought, the past few months almost a year we've been living differently from how we used to. We've been in the same place constantly, she's only been away from me for a few hours. None of us had travelled without the other one. "I don't want to go back to not being with you for 6 weeks," I say flatly. She tucked my hair behind my ear. "We're not going to but there are going to be times when one of us will be away for work." I nodded. "And I can't be there to look after you, even though I would want to be, planes aren't teleportation devices." I nodded again. "So today, you're going to go out with Scarlett, enjoy your day whilst I'm still home so if it gets too much I will be there within 30 minutes taking care of you." I understood why she was doing this. I understood that she wanted me to be okay without her. My therapist had highlighted it a million times to me about how dependent I am on Nell. But I didn't see the problem because I know she was not going to leave me she loves me. She wouldn't go so why couldn't I be dependent on her? But I understood our lifestyles don't make it easy for us to be with each other every single day for the rest of our lives. "Promise." "I promise that the second you tell me you need me to come, I'll be on my way." I pecked her lips. "I'm sorry, I'm like this." "Don't apologise, Princess." I lay my head on her chest listening to her calm heartbeat. Hers was always so steady compared to mine that beat 100 times a second. "Eat up." She says reaching for the plate with food on it.
She went and got Rose and they continued to bake. I held Rose when she put the muffins in the oven. "Hey, Loser." Scarlett greeted us. "You sure you can take Rose with you today?" She asked my fiancé. "Yeah, they said it's cool and she'll be napping for the most part." "You're taking Rose?" "Yeah, so you two can hang out." She says smiling at me. "It's been so long since we've had a day just us two." "But when are you home?" I asked her, I was happy to spend the day with Scarlett we don't get to spend a lot of time together since wrapping up the film a long while ago and even then we were so busy. "My meeting finishes at 2, I was thinking of taking Rose to see my mum at the store for a while. Then I'll come home." "So like 5?" "I can be home for five."
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As the day went on I started to relax more, Nell replied to my messages within five minutes and the constant communication between the two of us was seemingly helping. Scarlett was really good with me too, she knew the signs and would distract me or we'd move on to the next store. We went shopping in Hollywood and for lunch.
"Have you seen Nell's tattoo?" I asked Scarlett casually as we lined up at the juice place to refuel. "Which one?" "The one on her arm?" "Joy?" "No the L." She nodded. "Yeah, it's cute." "I want to get something for her." "Like a gift?" "No, a tattoo." "But you don't have any." "I know." "Are you sure?" She asked raising an eyebrow. "I've been thinking about it for a while." "I couldn't imagine you with a tattoo. You're like too perfect for it." "But so is Nell." "She has that little bit of edge to her." I bit my lip as my eyes scanned over the menu. "Just something small." "Like a fine line one?" I nodded. "That could be cute," She says thinking about it. "It's stupid." "If you want to get something get it for you not because you think she'll like it." She tells me. "I know."
We order our juices and take a seat outside enjoying the sun. "Do you think Nell is okay with Rose?" "Yeah, she wouldn't have taken her if she couldn't handle it," I say looking at my phone to see if Nell had messaged. She had, she'd just sent a photo of her and Rose cheesing at the camera showing off their ice-creams. I showed Scarlett. "They're adorable." She gushed. I admired the photo before Scar and I recreated it with our juices to send back.
"What would you get?" Scarlett asked looking at me as she sipped her juice. "Something to do with the ocean or like Angel wings because that's what I call her." She nodded and continued to think about it. She didn't say anything else we started talking about her and Colin who were seemingly having issues. He's just not giving into the relationship like Scarlett is. She's been away for the week and he's called twice. Not even to speak to his daughter either. It can't be easy for her right now.
We began walking again and Scarlett stopped in front of a tattoo parlour. "Go on then." She nudged her head. "You think it's a good idea?" "I think you should do it if you want to do it." She says. I think about it. Getting this is like having her with me. A constant reminder of her love. I pushed the door open and walked through Scarlett following close behind.
We sat and spoke about Nell with the artist and he came up with a simple design it wasn't big at all and we settled on the same placement Nell had my L done, I liked it the way it looked, and because it was small not everyone would notice it but it was always there for me to see.
I got my teddy out of my bag and Scarlett laughed. "Don't laugh at me," I tell her as I brought it up to my face. I sprayed the bear with Nell's perfume this morning, I've had him with me since our first valentines day and it comforts me. "Do you want me to hold your hand?" She asked. "No, I have my bear." She laughed more. "Quit it," I tell her. The artists started and I clenched my jaw, it hurts. Why did Nelly do this to herself willingly? After knowing how much it hurt. I pushed my bear into my face biting down on one of the paws. It didn't take long and I was sat admiring the work.
"Show me," Scarlett says and I show her my arm only to notice she was filming me. "You didn't." "I did." She says chuckling she filmed the whole thing. "I love it." She says inspecting it. The skin was sensitive so I hissed when she touched me. "Are you going to hide it from her?" Scar asked as I got wrapped up. "I might see how long it takes her to notice," I say. She nodded.
When we got home Nell and Rose were in the kitchen cooking dinner which was surprising. My sisters were sitting in there too and they were all talking but the twins weren't helping. Not with Rose or with the food they were sat on the laptop as they spoke about the upcoming shoots Nell had to do with them. She looked like a proper mum as she moved around the kitchen entertaining Rose whilst keeping her safe in the kitchen, in my apron she was still in the clothes she wore to the meeting so she must have wanted to keep them stain free. "I can't do the 26th," Nell says. "Why not?" "I have the doctors... I need to be in LA." "You're doctor is in New York." "Well this doctor I'm seeing is in LA therefore I need to be here. So." "Why?" "Why?" Nell questioned. "Why are you seeing the doctor?" "As my boss, you're not permitted to ask me that." She says gliding over it and covering up the whole thing. The girls dropped it knowing Nell was private.
"Mummy." Rose cheered noticing us. She wriggled out of Nell's arms and went to Scarlett happy to see her mum. She was rambling about what they had been up to not making much sense. "How was your day, Princess." She asked me pecking my cheek. "It was good, did a lot of shopping. And then coming home to you cooking for me just made it perfect." "I didn't know how you'd feel so I thought I'd get a jump start. I'm using the recipe book, I've never tried this one before, so it might be trash but we can just order from clean kitchen." "It'll be great," I assured her, cooking wasn't where her skill set lies, she was creative she wasn't a cook but she always tried and when she focused enough she made some decent dishes.
"Are you feeling okay?" She asked. "A lot better than this morning." "Good." She pecked the top of my head as I slotted into her side, and she let me try the sauce. "More chilli," I tell her. "How much more?" "Just a little." She followed my instructions. "I'm going to change, I'm a little chilly." "Here, have this." She undid the apron so she could take her blazer off and laid it over my shoulders before putting the apron back on. I slid my arms in successfully hiding the wrapped fresh tattoo.
"Can you do the 27th? If we fly you to NYC?" "Yeah, but like afternoon time." "Perfect." "What's this for?" "Catwalk rehearsal." I nodded laying my head back on her shoulder resting into her side again. "I forgot to tell you I need to go to New York for a meeting next week." "Okay, what day do you know?" "Wednesday until the Friday." She nodded. "I'll see if I can move some things around, I might be able to meet you out there on Thursday we can go visit with your mum and maybe talk to your dad whilst we're there." "No." "baby he's trying." "I don't care." My grip on her tightened if she was around dad too much she'd leave, he was horrible to her and sending me a flower was sweet because he knew I always wanted one they signify lasting and growing love and it might have just been a trick to take one more stab at Eleanor to make her leave me and I couldn't risk it she can't leave me. She didn't say anything else.
We all ate together and Nell got compliments on her cooking the twins tried to work out a plan for show rehearsals with Nell but Eleanor was getting distracted by Rose who was putting her bowl on her head. Scarlett had given up telling her no at this point. Her blonde hair was dyed red with sauce. After dinner Scar took Rose to shower.
Nell and I cleaned up together when our song came on we took the time to enjoy it dancing with each other slowly. I still had her blazer on covering my arm I wanted her to see it when it had healed.
She frowned at me when I got in bed in a hoodie, it was so hot out right now and our bedroom especially was hot. The downstairs of the house was always cool sometimes too cool but the upstairs was boiling I was sweating but I had to cover my arm. "I'm cold." I defend as I climbed into bed. "Are you getting sick?" She put her hand against my forehead. I swatted it away from me. "No, I'm fine." She pulled a face and reached for her phone. She showed me the videos of me singing the song, it was the dead serious face, for me as I recited the words all wrong. I laughed finding it funny, it's always good to laugh at yourself. And I smiled wide when I heard Nell say I love you, to me, knowing she wasn't annoyed at my drunk ass. She never gets annoyed with me when I drink too much she either finds it funny or takes care of me or in most cases both. "Wait it gets better." She swiped to the next video. I deadass was arguing with her about my age. "Why did you entertain it and keep correcting me?" I asked. "Because it was funny," She defended, still laughing at the video. "So you were there for the entertainment." "Only reason why I stick around when you're drunk." I shoved her slightly but she pulled me closer to her pecking my head. "You're an adorable drunk." "I'm messy," I say still watching the video.
She showed me the picture of me with my burger. "How do you fancy me? Look at me." "I am." She says looking at me. "And you're perfect in every single way." "Cheese ball." "Hoping to get lucky tonight." "Rethink that one." I teased. She put her phone down and rolled me on top of her our legs locking as I settled down on her chest. "We have this big bed and we continuously choose to lay like this," I say tracing patterns up and down her arm. "I like having you close to me." She tells me moving her hand to rest over my lower back. "You've changed," I mumbled. "You actually like me touching you now." "I never said I didn't like it." She defended. "You'd tense." "That had nothing to do with you." "Then why would you? You still don't hug Scarlett properly unless you're teasing her." I looked up at her. "Go to sleep, Lizzie." "So there's a reason?" "Elizabeth." She sung. "You're marrying me... you have to talk to me." She ignored me and I sighed laying my head back down. "Did someone hurt you?" "No, princess." "Promise?" "Promise." She pecked the top of my head.
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NELL'S POV
I was woken up by Lizzie crying for the second night in a row. I blinked the haze of sleep away and looked down, she was still asleep, she must be dreaming. I stroked the side of her face and adjusted the way she laid on me as I sat us up slowly. "Princess, wake up," I whispered to her nudging the side of her face with my nose. "Princess." I tried again. "I'm here, I'm right here." She gripped my clothes. "Lizzie, wake up you're dreaming, you're safe." She woke up with a big gasp of breath I rubbed her back. "I'm right here," I tell her she sat up from me and looked around the room her chest heaving as she got her bearings. I held her hand loosely and watched quietly as she calmed herself down.
"Princess," I say softly to get her attention. Her eyes locked with mine as they glazed over. "I'm here. It was just a dream you're safe." I tell her and she nodded slowly. She held my hand tighter so I adjusted my grip accordingly. When she was calm I hand her the water we have on the nightstand and she sipped it slowly, my hand brushed through her hair soothing her the best I could. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked her taking the water and placing it back on the nightstand. She licked her lips before she began fiddling with my rings.
"Just the same thing as before." I nodded. "I'll always be there to jump right in after you," I assured her. "I was in my wedding dress this time." "It was just a dream, it doesn't mean anything." "I'm going to ruin this." "You're not, princess." There wasn't much she could do to ruin this, I loved her unconditionally. "Let's lay back down and get some sleep, everyone's leaving tomorrow." We had an early start driving the girls to the airport. "I don't want to sleep." "What do you want to do then?" She shrugged. I wrapped my arms around her so she was secure in my embrace. "It wasn't real, he's gone, I'm here and I'm always going to be here. Our wedding is going to be perfect... You want to know why?" "Why?" She said in a small voice. "Because we're marrying each other, and we'll be each other's forever." I pecked the side of her head. "What if you fall out of love with me?" "Not possible," I whispered to her, she nestled into my embrace relaxing more and more the longer I held her. "I'm here," I assured her watching as her eyelids were fighting to stay open. "I'm here," I whispered to her as they closed, I held her and sat up for a little longer before laying down with her slowly.
We didn't get much more sleep, the girls were up and we were making breakfast ready to get them to the airport. Lizzie stuck to me like glue but I didn't mind at all. We drove to the airport and I had to stop for coffee on the way home as I yawned every other minute. Lizzie reached over me to get the coffee whilst I sorted out the payment and I noticed her wrist.
I waited until we pulled off to say anything but she beat me to it. "What are you smiling at?" She asked amused as she sorted out our coffees. "You got a tattoo," I say simply flicking my eyes to her. "How did you notice so quickly?" "I know every single scar, freckle and mark on your body it was obvious," I say. "What is it?" I asked not having had the chance to really see it. "I'll show you when we get home." She put my coffee in my hand so I could sip it and continued to drive.
We walked through the door. "Did it hurt?" I asked picking her arm up to inspect her wrist. "Yeah. Never again." She says and I chuckled looking at the tiny angel wings on her wrist right where my L was.
(She has both wings, not just one)
It was small and delicate and it kind of suited her. "Angel wings?" I questioned smiling to myself hoping it was referring to my nickname. "For my angel..." She pulled me to kiss her. "You didn't have to do that," I mumbled against her lips. "I have you with me always." "Forever," I confirmed. Her arms snaked around my neck and I picked her up her legs locking around my waist. She pecked my lips a few times before locking them both of us moving in sync. "I'm really sorry about last night." "Lizzie you had a bad dream, it's nothing to say sorry for." "You deserve better." "Stop saying that. You are better, you're the best there is no one better." "I'm messy." "I like messy I'm also messy."
I carried her up to our room laying her down on the unmade bed. "Where are you going?" She whined when I walked towards the door. "To get snacks." "Duvet day?" I smiled and nodded she smiled too. She was tired I was tired let's take the excuse to lay in bed all day and do nothing, we deserved it.