Jungkook's POV
I get out of the bathroom to find the scattered clothes all around the wardrobe. The first thought was the forced opening of the wardrobe the way I closed it, last night. As I walked trying not to step over the clothes, I saw something unusual.
Hana is sitting on the other side of the bed, next to the window with her back at me.
What's wrong?
As I moved closer, dressed in my shorts only, I realized it.
The drawer, the diaries.
I instantly looked back at the top section of the wardrobe. The clothes were scattered for a reason.
Shit.
The rising tension in my brain got interrupted by a strange sound.
Hana is sobbing.
She is just sitting with both of her knees erect sitting, her arms bind around them.
"Hana?" I whisper in a low tone, but she didn't respond. I repeated wondering if she didn't hear it. But before the words could leave my mouth, she was already up. I waited for her to turn back and when she did, my heart shattered.
She's crying, with tears dripping all the way down her face. Her hair is a mess. I peeked to see the diaries lying on the bed, behind her.
She has read them.
"Jung Woo?" she whispered, lightly in her breaking voice.
She remembers now. She remembers everything.
I stay quiet. My eyes were seeing through her. She is broken.
"Jung Woo?" she says again, a bit louder now.
"Yes," exasperation left my mouth.
She walked closer now, our eyes never disrupting. I want to know what she is going to do. I want to know everything going inside her. I want to embrace her and calm her down.
She was just a step far from me when I felt her rigid palm against my face. Her hand came down slapping my cheek within an instance, while my head motioned to the side from the heavy blow.
I expected it.
I deserved it.
I meet my eyes with her again thinking of them to be calmer than before, but she is crying even more now. Her body is quivering and I could already feel her cold body from a distance.
"Hit me again; again and again, until it satisfies you, even if it takes you to kill me. I am ready for it," I meant it.
In a blink, she stands just a few steps apart and started hitting my naked chest with her hands.
"Why did you do that?"
"Why you didn't tell me?"
"I hate you, I hate you."
She kept on repeating these words while continuously hitting me with her hands that later folded into fists, thumping hardly on my chest. I don't stop her and bear until she lets out her frustration completely. She finally slows down, visibly tired, and rests her head on my chest, while her hand hangs after doing all the work. I stood rigid, waiting for her to say something, but instead, she starts to lean on the side.
"Hana?"
"My mind...is...swirling." She suddenly grips my shoulder for support, while her body is numb and falling. I grab her by her waist, picking her up as she lay almost unconscious in my arms. I laid her on the bed in a sitting position while she still sobbed.
"Hana?" I asked if she was okay. She just sighs. I get up to fetch her a glass of water when she grips my hand.
"Stay," she whispered, looking at me. Her face is red and all wet of crying. It makes me want to kill myself. I never wanted to be a reason for her to cry, but I always knew this day would come. I sit back in front of her as she stares at me.
"I am sorry, Jungkook."
"Why are you sorry? It's me who should be." I said, clenching her hand.
"Come closer." Her words were barely audible, but her tap beside her made it clear. We were already close, but she is asking for even more proximity. I jump towards her shortening the distance between us. She is just a few centimeters far from me now. Her eyes are calm. She cups my face with both of her warm hands. My eyes close embracing the warmth of her hands, someone who knows me more than myself.
"You...you have changed so much," she cried, touching my face from every angle. "I have been so close to this face, but how come I never knew. How come I never guessed you?" Her hand is now brushing my front hair.
I take her hand and place it on my chest, making her feel the beat of my heart beneath that.
"This is the same. I swear."
She stares at our tangled hand on my chest and leans in to hug me. She wraps her arms around my neck and rests her head on my shoulder. I jumped again to make our bodies touch, and hold her in my arms, with her every touch on my skin making my heart flutter.
"I shouldn't have slapped you. I am so sorry, Jungkook," she cried, while her wet lips felt cold on my shoulder. "It has been so hard for me. Reading all that you wrote and then seeing you brought back all those haunting memories I had without you."
She pulls herself back, but her arms are still wrapped around my neck. We are so close to each other. I can feel her tired breathing and weary eyes on my face. And then she does something I never expected.
She kissed me.
I sat frozen, while she presses her lips on mine. I never thought she would do it. I longed for this moment so much that now it was here, I couldn't believe it. Without letting another second pass, I tightened my grip around her waist and pulled her in. I kiss her back, biting her lower lip, making her moan lightly. She comes back with a force and bit my lip in return. It definitely felt good. Our heads moved in opposite directions, diving into each other as far as we could. Her hand gradually made its way into my hair, switching from gripping them to brushing them with her fingers.
She parted her lips, we both gasped for breath while our foreheads are against each other. She gazes up at me and leans in again, with her swollen lips. My knee was touching her stomach now, while her legs were bent into a sitting position. Our sitting angles made it difficult for us to hold each other completely. I sucked her lips to the point to make her hiss, her swollen lips becoming even more fluff. She kept holding my lower lip between hers as a support as she positioned to stand on her knees, making me raise my head. Her face is over my head and my head cannot go back anymore. She gradually fits my bent leg between hers making her kneecap touch my crotch. Before she could sit on my thigh, I grabbed her hips with my hands, slowly making my way up.
The feel of her soft lips against mine was both infuriating and placating. The warmth told me how happy she was realizing my true identity; at the same time, the intensity of her grip told me how much she missed me. Her hands untie from around my neck and rest on my chest, covering my nipples. Her touch drove me passionate for more, but her energy was draining as she just held my lips still. I placed my hand on her back and leaned on her making her lay against the sheets.
Our lips briefly part again, while she grasped some air to fill up her lungs and continuously rubbed her thumb on the end of my lips.
Isn't it too early to miss them?
I leaned in and got closer to her ear.
"You are driving me crazy," I whisper in her ear, balancing my body over hers with my hands on either side of her. She hears me and raises her head to kiss me again, while I lean even more onto her. Our lips connect perfectly, and before I could move my tongue, she lose her grip around my mouth and fall back with a sigh. She can't do more, I can tell from her face. She open her eyes briefly, her eyes filled with doziness, and licks her lips.
"You want...something to drink? Water?" I ask her, confusedly over what she was trying to say from her almost closed eyes. "I'll get you, wait." As I move on a side, she grips my shoulder.
"Don't. Just lay next to me." I gaze back at her. Her eyes were red now. I can understand how emotionally drained she would be. Her full, pink lips smile at one end, and she directions me to lie beside her. I lean and give a long kiss on her forehead, while she places her hands on my shoulder again. I got up, giving her body some area to expand, but she is too drowsy to even move and her eyes are too swollen to even see. I walk to the other side and lie beside her. She clenches my body by wrapping her arm around my chest and tangling her leg with mine.
"Let me sleep off this terrible day. Don't go away," she mumbles.
"I won't." I kissed her head and laid my head on the pillow, lightly tapping her back.
Will everything go back the way I want it to be?
Only Hana can answer that.