"ENOUGH!", Lana finally yelled, making everyone look at her. None of them had heard her speak that loud ever.
---------------------------------------------------------
"Calm down! All of you. Sean have your coffee and Leo if you're not hungry go back to your room and play something until you are ready to apologize.", she demanded, which made Leo leave the room. Sean did what he was told and drank some of his coffee and took an aspirin, whilst Flynn just ate his breakfast in silence.
"I am sorry. I didn't want to yell, but you guys are extremely exhausting today.", Lana finally said before picking up all the broken pieces of the plate and hoovered to get rid of all the splinters.
After she was done, she went to Leo's room, walking in with crossed arms. He didn't look at her first, because he was ashamed of his behavior but didn't really have a choice after a while.
"I am sorry... I didn't want to break the plate. I was just feeling angry today.", he finally said, looking up to meet the soft dark brown eyes of hers. Lana sighed and sat down next to him on the floor.
"Why are you feeling angry today?", She asked but Leo only shrugged his shoulders in response.
"I just woke up feeling that.", he said before he sat down on Lana's lap to cuddle with her.
"Alright. That's okay, sometimes we do feel angry without any reason but that doesn't mean that we can be mean to other people. It hurt my feelings when you threw the plate because it took me some time to make you that breakfast. Do you understand?", Lana asked softly and searched for his eyes to see the honesty in them. Leo nodded and apologized a second time before Lana stood up and pulled him on his feet as well.
"Okay. And for the rest of the day you are going to try to be a little bit happier, okay?",She smiled and took him back downstairs with her.
Everyone had calmed down by now, even though you could still feel all the tension in this household. Leo and Flynn went outside in the garden after breakfast, whilst Lana was going for a walk with Lola. When she came back Sean was working on his computer, studying different websites and therapists.
"Hey... did you find anything?", Lana wondered, letting Lola from her leach before washing her hands properly.
"Yeah... it's actually only 17 minutes from here. A treatment program for grief & loss as well as for anxiety. It's called Sherman Oaks Anxiety Therapy here in California. They seem to have great doctors, especially for children.
It's possible to go as a whole family to learn as well how to approach the topic of a lost one together and how to talk about it in everyday life. I think that might help us actually... I wanted to give them a call, to get some more information. Could you look after the kids? They're playing outside and Amé is in the playpen.", Sean said, taking some notes he wrote down and his phone.
"Sure. Take your time... oh and, Sean? I am really proud of you. It takes a lot to accept that help is needed.", Lana smiled which Sean returned before he went off to the office.
------------------------
After Sean had had a long phone call with an employee of the Treatment center, he was sure that this was the right way to go. He sat down with one of the therapists a couple of days later to speak about the details and a treatment plan for the whole family. All four of them would stay at the clinic for three weeks, having daily appointments before returning home. In the following weeks, they would attempt therapy multiple times a week, as long as needed. Gladly Sean was able to let his online acting school run by a friend of his along with the employees that he had.
He packed up all the clothes they would need with Lana's help and moved into the Treatment center in the first week of August.
WEEK ONE OF THERAPIE
Since the kids didn't realize that the clinic wasn't a big holiday resort, they were quite open and spoiled about staying there. Of course therapy for children looked way different than the one for adults, so the boys considered their solo treatments as fun activities to do. Especially in the first week, since the doctor was trying to get to know them and their deep inner fears. They soon recognized that Leo wasn't traumatized by the loss of his mother. He was showing normal signs of loss but didn't develop any trauma. Leo spoke openly about Tanya and his memories of her, which of course made him sad but he knew how to handle it. He kept on telling the therapist that she will always be his mother and that he will love her till the moon and back even if he cannot see her anymore. It was impressive to see how different children react to grief and loss, even for the doctors who treated a huge variety of kids. They continued to talk to Leo in combination with a lot of toddler activities that should help him understand the meaning of death and his feelings.
Since Sean was already in therapy before this one, his files had a lot of records about his progress from the last few weeks. What he really needed was to learn how to approach the topic as a family and how to be there for his children and how to talk to them about it.
Lana did go with them for the first two days since the therapist wanted to see Flynn's reaction when she tried to leave and as well talked to her about his behavior over the last weeks since she was most of the time with them.
When Lana actually went back home it broke her heart because Flynn was screaming all over the place, trying to get back to her. She did promise that she would come back on the weekend at visiting hours, but that didn't comfort him at all. In the end, the doctor just sent her away and dealt with him.
WEEK TWO OF THERAPY
"Hey Sean.", Lana grinned when she answered her phone. "How is it going?", She asked whilst eating some of the lunch she just prepared for herself. It had been eight days without seeing them, but Lana had been extremely busy, which meant that there wasn't much time to think about Sean and the boys. Because of that, she was more than happy to visit them on the weekend in two days.
"Sean?", a toddler's voice answered giggling. "I am Leo! My daddy is Sean.", the boy laughed and made Lana chuckle. She couldn't get enough of the sound of his little cutie pie.
"I didn't know.", Lana smirked and automatically couldn't help but smile as bright as the sun. She just realized now how much she missed those kids daily. The feeling of having a family just felt real with them around even if it isn't easy to balance her life-work balance sometimes.
"But papa is sitting next to me and is listening.", Leo giggled. "I wanted to talk to you because I miss you and I need to ask you some questions about the homework I got, because the lady gave me a paper to fill out about daddy and mommy and then I said that I need another one for my auntie Lana.", he explained with a grinning face.
"Aww. That's so sweet of you, Leo. I miss you all too. Very much. And I will come and visit in a couple of days like I promised Flynn the other day.", Lana said smiling.
At that moment her friend Trish came back from a walk with some groceries, which she put on the kitchen counter. She heard Lana talking in a sweet voice that sounded full of love and joy. A voice she actually had missed hearing since she broke up with Fred. Lana only had one guy after her former husband but she wasn't even sure if Lana really had fallen for him or if her head wanted to fall for him. She was just lonely at that time and needed someone to fill that gap in her heart even though she would never ever admit that to anyone, maybe not even herself. So when Lanas laugh filled the house it filled Trish's heart as well at the same time. Curious about who her friend was actually talking to, she sneaked into the living room, seeing Lana holding her phone to her ear.
"Ohh. My favorite color? That is hard... I do love black and white but If I would say that my mother would probably give me a call and say 'these are not colors, Lana. These are contrasts.'", Lana imitated her mother's voice before smirking. "So in that care, I would say... Ehm... yellow like the sun? It can be very positive and especially on flowers it's just looking welcoming and bright. Or maybe like a light blue, because it's soft and calming. It's really hard to pick, I am not good in picking favorites.", she said, answering Leo's question.
"I like that. And how old are you?", Leo asked curiously, looking down at his sheets of homework about Sean, his mom and Lana, where only the sheet about his auntie was still showing missing answers.
"I am 45 now. Pretty old.", Lana smirked and only heard an 'Ohh' from the other side.
"Is this really old? I wrote down 59 for daddy.", Leo said which made Lana laugh hard. "Is 59 older than 45?", he finally asked and looked at his dad. Lana could hear Sean giggle through the phone and without even thinking about it she could completely picture him doing so. Seeing his cute little dimples in front of her inner eye, the ones that even Leo and Flynn had.
"Yeah, 59 is quite older than 45.", Lana chuckled sweetly before answering Leo's other questions. Trish had sat down on one of the chairs at the kitchen counter, trying to figure out who made her friend speak like that when she noticed that her voice and body language changed at one point in the conversation. It went from childish and sweet to flirty and full of desire. A normal person maybe wouldn't have noticed but Trish did right away. The way Lana was moving her hand through her hair, the way she was blushing and biting her upper lip. She looked like a lovesick teenager, talking to her crush...and that subscribed basically exactly what was going on. Sean had taken over his phone again and started a short conversation before he had to go, unfortunately. Right when he ended the call, Lana was grinning from ear to ear, lowering her phone slightly, completely lost in her thoughts.
"Shit. I am falling for a whole family.", she mumbled to herself, biting her lip again because of the conflict inside of her.
"A whole family, huh?", Trish asked, making Lana jump because she hadn't heard her friend coming at all since she was lost in her own world.
"For how long have you been sitting there?!?", Lana snapped because of her sudden guest, trying to calm down a bit after her heart had skipped a few beats. She wasn't easy to scare normally but being ripped out of her world doesn't count as being scared she figured.
"Long enough to know that one of my best friends is hiding a new lover from me.", Trish teased, coming next to her and sitting down on the couch as well.
"I am not hiding anything!", Lana said defensively, trying to sound totally casual.
"Lana, you are an incredible actress but at the same time incredibly bad at lying.", Trish laughed which made Lana chuckle. She wouldn't have had a chance to hide her feelings from her. That's for sure. Trish knew her too well.
"Remember Sean?", Lana asked, not even waiting for an answer because she knew that Trish remembered since Lana talked about him way too much when he first joined the once upon a time cast. "Well you know... a lot has happened... I kind of moved in there for days and days and now I am afraid to fall for him and his children. For this life with them in it. It's so precious and... I feel complete when I am with them. But they just lost their mother this year. It wouldn't be right to do a move and I don't feel comfortable with doing so as well. It's like a Deja Vu. The perfect single man with three children, who could possibly fulfill my dream of a family. I am not falling again for that.", Lana said, whilst looking to the floor.
"Sean is not Fred, Lana. Fred turned out to be an asshole after how long? Seven years of knowing each other? But Sean... well I guess you already know more about him than you ever did about Fred. You shouldn't hold yourself back just because the situation looks similar and you got hurt in the previous one.", Trish put a warm expression on her face, taking hold of Lana's hand to comfort her.
"Hurt is an understatement. I was lost and totally depressed afterward I suppose. But whatever... more than friendship is out of the question with Sean. I wouldn't handle losing our friendship. And that's the end of this conversation.", Lana said, putting her plate into the dishwasher.
***
Two days later she finally drove up to the therapy center, which was about 45 minutes from her house. After searching for ages for a parking lot, she was finally able to go and visit some of her favorite people. She didn't even have to go inside, since Sean was already waiting for her with Leo and Flynn by his side, whilst Amélie was sleeping in her stroller.
As soon as Lana saw them a huge smile was plastered over her face, making her eyes sparkle. It was so good to see them and she recognized right away that they looked different. Sean's goofy grin approached her in a way that it hadn't in a long time. It looked honest, free of worry and pain. He just looked like the first day they met at Set, maybe even a bit shy but extremely handsome. His eyes got the exact sparkle back that Lana thought would be lost forever after Tanya's death. But here he was, looking like a new man, a happy person that was at peace. Flynn on the other hand looked like a much older kid than he was just two weeks ago. His eyes told her that he was recovering and that he found the laughter back in his life, whilst Leo was as happy as always, smiling from ear to ear, looking even goofy like his father.
The whole picture of them made tears appear in Lana's eyes. She was extremely overwhelmed by the view of them as a working family, that one or two even slipped from her eye whilst walking proudly smiling to them. She felt their warmth and kindness more and more, every step she was going closer until she was finally able to wrap her arms around them.
"So good to see you all again.", Lana grinned, whilst Leo and Flynn were hugging her tightly.
"Why are you crying? Are you sad?", Leo asked almost immediately after he saw her tears, trying to whip them away with the sleeves of his shirt. Lana shook her head, answering after a few seconds: "I am just happy to see you all like that. You look much better when you're cheerful and smiley."
After wiggling out of the embraces of the boys, Lana went to hug Sean, squeezing him tightly. "I am glad that the therapy is showing progress.", she grinned before walking with them inside. Flynn gave her a small room tour before sitting on his bed, pulling Lana next to him.
"You know I am learning a lot...and they told me that it is important to have 'comfort people' in life. That means people that I trust and where I feel safe.", Flynn explained to her, which left Lana in amazement at how mature he was talking.
"Yeah, that's right... Your daddy is one of those for me.", Lana said smiling.
"And... I wanted to ask you if you can be a comfort person for me as well?", he asked, reaching in his bag to pull out a batch with the sentences 'I trust you' on it. "Joyce said that I should give every person one of these, so I know that they will be there for me...", Flynn said shyly, not knowing if Lana would actually accept it when her eyes began to be watery. But shortly after his concerns had turned down, when Lana took the batch and put it on her purse.
"It would be my pleasure, Flynn."
WEEK THREE OF THERAPIE
Their time at the clinic came to an end before they even realized it. Sean and Flynn especially took a lot of advice and advantages from their sessions, which will continue for the little boy once a week. Sean on the other hand was sure that he was ready for the next step in his life, leaving therapy behind him and taking his newfound happiness with him. The death of Tanya no longer haunted him in his dreams, instead, he had learned how to look back at the memories they had and look forward to the ones he would create with his children. Tanya will always be a part of their lives and live through videos, pictures, and objects around the house and that's something he wanted to give to his children as well as the father they deserved. A father who was able to talk about their mother freely, who was able to show that feeling sad was part of missing someone, and a father who would do anything to keep their lives joyful. Of course, the pain still remained deep down in his body, but he learned to accept and deal with the feeling and admitted to himself that it will get better over time.
Flynn was able to understand and control his emotions better through little games therapists played with him to make him learn. His anxiety of people leaving wasn't completely gone yet but on a level that it wouldn't end in outbursts.
The whole family was finally ready to go back to their own home and live through the healing process and that was something that made Sean look forward to their future.
It almost felt like a wave of memories floating in his body, when he opened the door of his house after three weeks. He had missed it. The smell, the feeling, the whole environment that made him remember what 'being home' really meant. And for the first time since Tanya's death, he felt like being home. A place he never would want to lose.
Unfortunately, Lana was out of town for another 12 days, so Sean was alone with the kids, having basically proper bonding time with a lot of games and playing as well as the return to school for the boys. He had some important stuff to do for his online acting school along with some private duties like cleaning the house.
Sean actually arranged a visit from his parents for Amélies birthday since they hadn't seen each other for more than half a year and as you can tell a lot has happened in that time. Gladly his parents took two weeks off to spend them with Sean and his family in a couple of weeks.
But for now, they had a little reunion to go through and he just felt that this day was going to be one of his favorites memories in his life's history.
_______________________________________
A/N: long chapter, one simple reason. I am dying since weeks to publish the next upcoming chapter because it's like my all time favorite.
(That's also the reason why I am uploading daily at the moment. Haha. I will reduce the uploading again after the 15th chapter.)🙈
BTW. Have a look at Leo's homework. I had to laugh so much about the fact that he thinks that Sean ist 59 😂 bless him.