Summer in LA has become my favourite thing. Seeing Nell in a bikini every day is a bonus. We have amazing weather, access to a private beach whenever we want, amazing blue skies, perfect weather and so much to do here.
Nell's been preparing for this Chanel shoot, it's got a tight turn around so we came to LA so she can prepare for it, she needed to even out her tan which meant getting lay next to her whilst she sunbathes nude by own pool and she lets me put sunblock on her as she couldn't afford to be burnt this year. She's been going to the gym every single day and I go with her mostly I just sit and watch her whilst she works out, it's a big turn on, there's something about seeing her strength that sends me wild. After the gym we typically go on a hike somewhere it changes every day and because I'm not working I get to spend pretty much all of her free time with her. Some say it's not healthy to spend every waking hour with your significant other I say it's completely needed and those who say otherwise needs to find someone they want to be around every second of the day.
Nell is still working through and when she is in the studio or on-location shoots I hang out with my friends. I filled Aubry in the past year and she was really empathetic and she was worried about me but I told her Nell was looking after me like she always did and there was nothing to worry about. Plus I was feeling so much better than I was a few months ago. Really I was. I wanted to make my angel in the sky proud of me so I found some strength to try and pull myself together. I haven't found the strength to go back to work yet and I might not for a while. The thought of being away from Eleanor for longer than two days made my palms sweat and my heart race.
She went away for a long weekend which was meant to be four days, I called her the first night after I had an episode and she got on the first flight back despite both my sisters being here. She knew I'd be okay she knew I was safe but she still came home. We lasted just under 48 hours apart and that was my fault, seeing the press from the event she seemed to be having a really good time. She had made a few friends with the girls on the shoot and it was nice to see her with her own friends. Nell wasn't kidding when she said she shut everyone out after Ria. She really didn't interact with her friends and it was sad but she was content. I enjoyed seeing her with friends, I didn't feel like I was holding her back so much despite her coming home to me because I wasn't very well.
We visit Cassie and her dad once a week if we can and we sit with them for about an hour, Nell talks to them sometimes other times she sits quietly tidying their plots. We had dinner at her grandparent's home, her grandma had been moved to a hospice as her dementia is getting worse and she needs 24-hour care. When we visited her it was really sweet because she was lucid which meant she was having a good day and could remember Nell and me and everything that was going on so we showed her pictures of the house and she cried and said how proud she was of Nell which I think she really needed to hear. She welcomed me to the family and said that I was good for Nell so having her blessing meant the world. She asked to come to the wedding she kept repeating it and making sure Nell knew she wanted to be there whether she was lucid or not she wanted to be there. We promised her we would make sure she was there. Nell and I had already started making plans for their travel before this.
I hung out at the coffee shop a few times, Annabella didn't completely hate me. She was back to normal with me which I was relieved about. She was never mean and she was completely understanding when she was staying with us for the first three weeks after the miscarriage she was lovely but the little voice in my head kept telling me she hated me for hurting Nell. She didn't hate or if she did she hid it well.
Today Nell was sunbathing after an intense workout session with her brother. She was in her tiny string bikini after having just been in the pool the beads of water that clung to her tanned toned body reflected the sun making her body glisten. "You're starring, Olsen." She says not even opening her eyes to look at me, she just knew. It's her superpower. "It's hard not to," I say biting my lip still observing her. She rolled her head to the side to look at me she squinted. "Keep it in your pants." She teased. "You're no fun." I fake pout and she chuckled at me making her abs tense. She went back to peacefully laying there for a while before she sat up and looked around the garden. "Can you put sunblock on my back I want to turn over?" She says. I nodded and grabbed it from the table before sitting behind her on the sunbed. I squeezed some on my hands and rubbed it into her skin she rolled her head to the side and hummed in bliss as I massaged the cream into her skin. "Feel good, Angel?" She nodded still sitting there allowing her muscles to relax under my touch.
I finished her back and moved back to my spot she rolled over and squinted looking at. "I love you." She says and I smiled. "I love you too." She made a grabby hand so I reached out and she held onto it before closing her eyes. A few seconds later she was asleep her pout slightly parted and her breathing soft. I rub my thumb across the back of her hand as I held on to it.
"Mrs and Mrs Whipped? Are you home? I let myself in." Aubrey called. I look over to the house and she was waving smiling brightly. "Hello. Your favourite person ever is here." "Hey." I greet sitting up still holding Nell's hand not wanting to disturb her sleep. "Aww baby's sleeping." She pouts sitting beside me we were both now facing Nell. "She's been working a lot recently." "Yeah I heard Chanel have stolen her from your sisters." "She's still loyal to them but they want her to excel and she was so excited when she got the letter." She smiled.
We sat and spoke for a while having our weekly catch up. And then she got bored and leant forward slapping Nell's little butt. "Hi Aubrey." Nell mumbled letting go of my hand and facing the other way. "Aww you knows me just from my butt tap." "Or maybe you're the only one brave enough to slap her butt in front of her wife." "Or maybe she loves me." "Doubt it." She scoffed. "Nelly Bear tell her you love me." "Love you." She mumbled still trying to get the last bit of sleep in before dinner with her mum tonight.
She eventually sat up and joined in with us before I reminded her that she should go get ready. She complained. Aubrey told her to ditch and scolded both of them for cooking up a plan and sent Nell upstairs.
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Nell came back out like an hour later completely transformed. She was wearing one of my dresses she had down her make-up and her hair which was rare unless I did it for her because she hated to sit still for too long without something to do. Award shows for her are the worst, I have to sit and play thumb wars with her or rate everyone's outfits which is actually kind of fun.
"Do I look okay?" "Stunning," I say standing up and wrapping my arms around her neck pecking her lips lightly not wanting to mess her makeup up. "Get a girl that can do both," Aubrey says impressed but still teasing. Nell looked over at her. "I'm just saying you can go from beach teen to Classy wife in the space of an hour. It's like a talent." "It's a dress." "You're fucking howt." She says at this point Nelly was over Aubrey being Aubrey so she looked at me knowing if she continued to get more outlandish with her response. "I'm taking the car, I'll be home by 11." She kissed my cheek ignoring Aubrey. "I'll be waiting up my love." Aubrey said. "Have my pj's waiting." Nell winked before leaving. "I'm sleeping with your girlfriend tonight." I pushed my palm against her forehead and she fell back on the sun bed. "You could have just told me to shut up." "When I have you ever listened?" "Maybe this would be the moment I did." "Oh please." I rolled my eyes before noticing Nell was coming back over. "Do you want me to bring you dinner home?" She asked I nodded. "Surprise me."okay,princess." I smiled at her and blew her a kiss. She scrunched her nose up a gesture of endearment between the two of us.
"Shes beautiful though, Liz," Aubrey says giving up on the teasing. "So breathtaking," I say still watching my Angel walk inside our home. "How did you get that?" "I'm not that bad." I fake me being offended knowing she was just teasing me it's who she is.
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"How's dinner?" Nell says standing in the bathroom washing her face whilst I sat on our bed eating the food she brought home for me. she always picked just what I wanted every time. "It's good." "Good." She was still doing her skincare.
"How was dinner with your mum?" "It was nice. We went to that new place that just opened in Hollywood." The thing about being in LA means we can travel around California to different places so we're not just stuck in one place. Like Nell and I lived in other parts of the state her in Malibu me and Beverley Park she went from here to Hollywood for dinner tonight given it was a long drive but still. I liked that we could essentially go to different places without actually leaving home.
"Jr is planning on asking his girlfriend to move in with him." "Really!" I sat up excited for him. "Yeah." "You don't seem too thrilled." She pouted at me. "What?" I asked. "I don't like sharing." "Oh, the mark on my neck confirms that," I say she had left a mark on my neck from earlier but I didn't have anywhere I needed to be. "I just think that when he moves in with her he'll have no time for me." "Of course he will you're his baby sister" "But when she's over he doesn't call. Before he called every night. I had a call with mum, then Cassie then Jr and Tony once a week. When she's there I don't get to talk to him." "You don't need to talk to him every night." "You talk to the twins at least twice a day." She points out before moving back to the sink to finish cleaning her face. "You're getting jealous and pouty before we go to bed and that's not fun. Smile please." I tell her. "I'm happy for him." "Me too," I say.
"What else did you talk about at dinner?" I asked she turned the bathroom light off and came into the bedroom sitting on the edge of the bed. She twisted her dad's ring around her finger a few times before looking up at me. "What?" "Tony he's um... He's met someone too." "That's great," I say smiling but she wasn't. "Why is that not great?" I asked frowning. "You gotta learn to share Nell." "It's not that." She says taking a deep breath. "He's gotten her pregnant." She wouldn't look at me, her eyes didn't move from her rings. I moved from the headboard to her and tilted her chin up. "That's okay, that's good news." She chewed her lip so I pulled it from her teeth. "Don't do that angel," I asked her nicely before pecking her lips. I pull my hair she bits her lip there out things that we both help each other avoid. "Angel," I say when I notice her eyes welling with tears. "I need a minute." She says climbing off the bed and leaving the room.
I give her a minute but when I hear her crying I go out into the hall and find her in one of the guest rooms. "Eleanor?" I say standing at the door. "I'm being silly." "You're upset that's not silly, what is bothering you about this? Is everything okay with their baby? Is his girlfriend okay?" "Everything is fine." She tells me. I hug her to soothe her. "Talk to me." "It's ridiculous." "It's your feelings. I need you to talk." She pulled away wiping her face dry, her once perfect skin is now splotchy from her tears. She went back into our room so I followed after.
"Eleanor, we're past this, please talk to me." She climbs into bed seemingly ignoring me so I sit on her. One way to get her attention. "Why does he get to have a baby, why do they get to have a baby what did we do that was so bad for us to have that taken from us? It's stupid to be jealous of that but I just. You had a baby, you would be the best muma in the whole world, you're amazing down to earth humble kind person why was that taken from you?" I didn't realise the miscarriage affected her so much. I mean I did. I knew she was upset but I thought it was because Robbie hurt me and because I was hurting not because of the baby. But she's said multiple times she would have loved the baby all the same as if it was ours. Because it was mine. "It's stupid." She says rubbing her nose before putting her hands on my waist to move me off of her. "It's not stupid." I hold her wrist stopping her from moving me. "It's not stupid. We'll have our chance, we will." I moved her hand to my tummy. "And it would have been amazing to have a baby, and it was awful losing them but it was nothing we did. We'll have our chance." Her eyes were closed. "I'm sorry." She says wiping her face with her free hand as tears slipped down her cheeks. I leant forwarded and pecked her nose. "Be happy for him, for both of them." "I am, we're going to be aunties again." "Yeah." I smiled when she smiled.
"How far along is she?" I asked laying down on her, she helped me pull the sheets from under me and laid them over the both of us. "3 months nearly 4." "Do they know if it's a boy or a girl." "They have a scan on Cassie's birthday, they're having a gender reveal on the beach the day after." "Can I come?" "Of course, you're my fiancé you're part of our family." I smiled to myself. "Anything I have to go to you do too." "I actually like interacting with people so it's not so bad for me." I teased. "I like my mum." I chuckled.
"How is she?" "She's good, she mentioned you stopped by yesterday." "Yeah, I took her the carrot cake you made." "How dare you?" "We had the honeycomb one and the blueberry muffins there was no way we'd eat that too." "True but." "No, but's it was going to go to waste." "Fine, I'll stop baking." "I didn't say that." "It'll just go to waste." She mocked. "No baking no sex." "That's manipulation." I smugly looked at her and she smirked. "I could go without sex longer than you could go without blueberry muffins anyway." She says confidently, I have one of her muffins every single day for breakfast she makes them all the time and if we have none in and I bug her until she bakes me some. "Oh, please." "I can please myself you can't bake my muffins therefore I win." "Please yourself then," I say rolling off of her and folding my arms over my chest as I pout.
She leant over and pecked me repeatedly being over the top with each peck until I started to giggle. "I love you, Princess." She says slipping her arms around my waist and forcing me to roll over as she did so I was partially laying on her. "I love you too." I pecked her cheek before we settled in for the night.
I feel her breath fan across my neck her fingers dancing up my thigh. "I'd rather please you, Princess." I bit my lip her hand slid further up my thigh I involuntary squeezed my thighs shut. "May I?" I turned to face her and connected our lips in a hungry kiss giving her all the permission she needs.
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