I found myself walking down the stairs following the direction of a sweet aroma,
"what could be smelling so nice at this time of the morning" I thought to myself,
I landed in the kitchen and found mum working tirelessly with different varieties of foods on the counter,
"Mum it's barely 7:00 am and you're already working yourself out" I said when I noticed she didn't notice my presence,
she turned to my direction, smiling widely"ohh my sweet bride you're here, hope you rested well" she said,
I rolled my eyes at her internally, "mum it's just a proposal, not a wedding" I said,
"I know habibty, but who knows this might be the proposal that will lead to marriage" she said as she winked at me,
"Ok mum let me help you out" I said changing the topic,
"No habibty, you don't have to do anything here, I'm almost done already, the only help I need from you right now is you going upstairs and getting dressed as soon as possible, the guest will be here by 10:00am" she said as she pushed me out of the kitchen and locked me out, mum can be overly dramatic sometimes you know.
*****
"Knock, knock, knock", I heard someone knocked on my door,
"Come in" I responded,
"salam alaykum" mum said,
"walaykum salam" I replied,
"Masha Allah you look beautiful habibty" mum said,
"jazakallah khairan" I said smiling at her,
"okay the guest are here already, we are all waiting for you, I'll go ahead now but make sure you're down in a few" she said as she left my room and closed the door.
Ok I'm starting to get nervous now, "you got this girl" I said to myself, I made dua to calm myself down, I checked the mirror to see I was well covered, then I took a deep breath in, braced myself up and went down.
"Sister Fatima?" I heard someone said when I got down,
"yusra?" I said,
And before I knew it, someone engulfed me in a big, long hug.
"masha Allah, you two know each other, that's good news" mum said raising her hand in a dramatic way thanking Allah and everyone laughed at that.
"ohh that means the proposer is Aman" I thought to myself.
The family conversation went really well, mum and yusra bonded so fast, Aman's dad was also very nice, he asked me some few questions which I answered politely, he and dad mostly did the talking, but Aman!, I can count the number of words he has said after the salams.
"Isn't it time for Aman and Fatima to get to know each other?" Aman's dad asked,
"Yes it iiss" everyone said in unison except Aman and I
"yeech it ish" imran said after everyone, and this got everyone laughing.
We were seated facing each other in the distant part of the living room, everyone else left to seat on the dining, they could see us but can't hear what we are saying, so they were all acting as chaperones.
"salam alaykum" I said, breaking the long uncomfortable silence.
"walaykum salam" he replied,
The silence continued again,
"uhmm don't you have any question to ask?" I asked voicing out my thoughts,
"No I don't" he answered curtly,
I'm starting to get annoyed at this point "sabr Fatima, sabr Fatima, you can ask your questions if he doesn't have any" I said to myself,
"Ok, what do you think about a married woman working" I asked,
"We are in a modernized world now, and there's absolutely nothing wrong in it as long she upholds her values well" he said,
"Nice answer" I thought to myself, but I pretended like I wasn't swayed,
"Who do you love most in the world" I asked, his answer here is really important to me,
"Prophet Muhammad (SAW)" he said,
Masha Allah he answered it correctly I'm impressed.
I ended up doing most of the talking with him just saying few words but I was liking it, I know he's 30 years of age now, a pediatrics doctor and I know he doesn't talk much even if he didn't tell me that, but I still feel like something is missing or something is up,
"can I see your face" he said all of a sudden,
"he has the right to" I told myself,
I raised my head for him to see, since we both lowered our gazes during the conversation, his eyes locked with mine for some few seconds before we heard dad said "time's up" signifying that we should close our conversation,
we both stood up to leave, I was expecting him to say something like "I hope to hear a positive response from you", but nothing came out.
We reached where everyone was seated, they all started looking back and forth between I and Aman, maybe trying to decipher maybe it's a "yayy or nay" but when their efforts were futile, they all busted out laughing, imran followed too, I doubted if this young lad is even aware of what's going on,
"Only Allah knows what they've all discussed in our absence", I thought.
We all ate lunch together, prayed asr and now it was time for them to leave,
"Sister Fatima" yusra called out to me where we were all standing close to where they parked their car,
"Yes yusra" I answered,
"I'm so happy, you're the one daddy was talking about, I'll be very happy if you guys end up together" she said with a sad tone like she was worried about something,
"If Allah wills, Allah knows best and what's best for us all", I told her trying to lighten her mood up but she still kept that sad face,
"What could be bothering her" I asked myself.
"Fatima habibty" Aman's dad said,
"I know we plan even though Allah is the best planner, but I'll really like to hear a positive response" he said,
"If Allah wills sir" I said,
Aman was still quiet,
"is he always like this?" I asked myself,
we all said our masalams and they drove off.
"fat--" mum was about to call me but dad cut her off "salma not now" he said, and I was grateful for that, I really don't want to talk to anyone now. We all went to our various rooms, I thought I'm supposed to have a solid response now, but no, the truth is I don't know what to do.
I stayed in my room throughout the day thinking of just everything, then I remembered I needed to complete some works since tomorrow is Monday, it got me busy for some time but when I finished, all the thought came back. I've already said my isha salah and read some pages of the Quran.
I decided I was going to offer salatul istikharah tonight, to ask for Allah's guidance, because I'm currently in the state of doubt, my mind is telling me to accept the proposal but something deep inside is saying otherwise.
I performed ablution, made two nawafil and said the istikharah dua and proceeded to sleep.
****
I was standing in front of a dry field, all the leaves dried, the trees with thorns, life was totally absent from there, I felt very sad, I proceeded to walk towards the field, as I stepped my feet into the field, all the flowers started to grow, the leaves on tree straighten to become green again, I continued to walk through and everything started becoming beautiful, as I got to the end of the field, I saw a haggard looking man, I said salam to him, he didn't answer, I repeated it, but got same response, so I proceeded to touch him. As I placed my hand on his shoulder, all his haggard looking clothes turned into clean looking one, then the man turned to look at me and it turned out to be,
"Aman?" I asked,
"Thank you Fatima", he said,
I was about to ask "for what" when I woke up from my sleep,
"SubhanALLAH what does this mean?" I asked myself,
I sought refuge in Allah from shaytan, I got up from my bed, performed nawafil to ask Allah to bring out the good of the dream and repel the evil.
"Does Aman needs my help?" I asked myself.