55| Just A Hurting Heart
I don't believe this guy!
"This was your pressing situation, Liam?" I was more dumbfounded than annoyed.
"I'm getting late and I can't decide. I usually ask Vittoria but she's gone for a jog." He pouted.
Excuse me but does this person really handle the finances of the country's top group of companies?
And he's a mafia?
Nah. Nope. Mason Andress refuses to believe this shit.
"Go for the ochre one. Blue suit will make you look like a smirf." I rolled my eyes. I left my gym exercise halfway for this nonsense. This was his emergency.
"Thanks, dude! You're a lifesaver." He pounced on me ferociously, calling it something like a hug and fucking kissed my cheek.
"Ew, Liam! I'm straight." I held myself back from throwing up, rubbing my cheek.
"So am I. You're my bro."
"Liam?" I raised a brow.
"Hmm." He almost tripped while wearing his trousers.
"You had no problem with Vittoria and Harri?" I eyed him intently, leaning against the wall.
"No." He simply shrugged. "I was shocked myself. But I guess I'm over her. I love her but not like that anymore."
It took me a little time to sink that in. But I hoped that was the truth. It was better for him that way.
"But I'm still team Rattoria." He skillfully twisted his fingers around the necktie which was done in seconds.
Wow! I could never wear a necktie that quick.
Team Rattoria, right.
Disgusting.
No one knew what exactly happened that day and what was going on in this house currently. A week had passed and things were eerily calm. It was the calm before the storm.
Rafael and Vittoria didn't even look at each other's faces. Same went with her and Harri. Things were crazy. Scratch them, even Alli and our dear grandpa were behaving all weird.
"Okay, I'll run. Bye!" Liam hastened downstairs uselessly. He was going to get late anyway. Idiot.
"Bye. And for god sake Liam, drive a little-"
"I know, slower."
"No, faster. You might as well walk instead of driving at that speed." I tried not to laugh.
Once he was gone, I proceeded towards my room for a shower. God help me if my mom Alli spotted me reeking with sweat. But just as I reached up on the first floor, a door opened and a voice called me, making me stop physically and facepalm mentally.
"Morning, Mase." Camila smiled sweetly. Too sweetly. I don't even like sweets.
"You look very happy today." I crossed my arms, studying her carefully. Her behavior had changed since the past few days. I couldn't detect what it was. But if it's her, I knew I should be worried.
"You look very hot today." She batted her lashes.
"I look hot everyday."
"True that." She... giggled? "But I meant literally this time. Gym?" She pointed at my sweaty tee.
I simply nodded hoping I get rid of her soon but universe decided to wake up today and be like, hey, let's fuck with Mason Andress. He doesn't look stressed enough.
"Come here, I gotta show you something." She smiled, holding my hand and tugging me to her room. "I want to know your thoughts about this one." She pointed to a painting excitedly.
What was I, her art teacher?
It was a seemingly simple painting— two interlaced hands. But if you looked at it closely, one could detect the ever so subtle despair. The man's hand was lose and his hold meaningless. But the woman had her grip so tight as if afraid to let go. The minute intricacy of the fingers and how well the paints were smeared for the effect was simply marvellous.
"It's nice." I replied dryly.
Her smile faded and so did the twinkle in her eyes. "I expected a little more than that. I was trying to impress you." She mumbled.
My eyes fell over the painting I'd gifted her. It was hung over the wall, replacing one of her own. Her eyes trailed my vision and she read my mind.
"It was your first gift to me. It's special." She smiled.
Yeah, right. How romantic.
"You won't ask me anything? Nothing about me being there or Sebastian Voss or the register entry?"
"No, Camila." I passed her the similar fake smile. "I won't waste time in that. I'll find it out and bust you and your motives."
A well known darkness filled up her eyes. Taking one quick step, she closed the distance between us and crawled her hands beneath my t shirt. Her skin felt soft over my hard chest but other than that, I felt nothing at all.
"This very thing about you gets me so turned on, Mase." She smirked.
"What thing?" I pried her hands away irritably.
"Nothing."
"What's that?" I diverted the topic, pointing to a canvas covered with a red velvety cloth.
"It's a work in progress. That one's very close to my heart." The smile I saw on her face as she looked at it was the first genuine smile I witnessed.
So she knew how to smile.
"You don't visit here more often now. I miss painting with you."
"I don't. Bye." I spun around, not wanting to converse with her in the morning..or anytime at all.
"You know Mason, your rude behavior really hurts me." Her feeble whisper stopped me.
Someone who didn't know her would melt there and then at her tone, filled to the brim with hurt and pain. But the problem with me was that I knew her a little too well.
"Every night I sleep wishing you at least talk to me normally. Is it really so difficult, Mase?" Emerald eyes met mine, looking so innocent that it almost made me regret my behavior.
But only almost.
Gasping for air, I finally reached up the hilltop in these woods in the estate. My heavy breaths conflated with the strong spring air, carrying the scent of sea stretching before me in the distance.
Downing half the bottle of water and emptying the remaing contents over my head, I took a seat on a rock, facing the sea.
I should come here more often. The view was mesmerizing and strangely calming.
Being here, I finally found myself fit enough for some retrospection. My thoughts became clearer but one last question still remained— what do I do now?
As the heat of the situation lessened, I realized I was never afraid of Rafael. I was afraid of his anger. I shouldn't have irrationally tried relating this incident to the past.
I will have to talk to him and apologize for it.
A tangible sound from behind added to the the noise of my thoughts. The leaves crunched, indicating someone's presence. I became alert but relaxed when the familiar scent reached my nostrils.
He took a seat next to me on the rock, his eyes fixed ahead at the horizon like mine. We spent a few minutes in silence, just acknowledging each other's presence.
"I'm listening, Harri. Go ahead and tell me that you hate me."
"I've never hated anyone."
I could sense him looking at me but I couldn't muster the courage to look back at him.
"Thanks, Harrison."
"For what?"
"For saving my reputation. For not letting me fall in my brothers' eyes." I mumbled, pulling my legs to my chest.
"You love Rafael . So there's nothing wrong with it." He said, making my jaw drop and eyes snap up to him.
"Did I hear that right?"
He ran a hand through his blonde hair which were all over the place due to the wind.
"You don't need to explain yourself. I doubt words would be capable of untangling the jumble of thoughts in your head. I understand you."
"I liked you, alright." I placed my chin over my kness. "I felt happy around you. I liked your company."
"I know. I'm not saying you played with my feelings. You like me, yes. But you love him. And you shouldn't apologize for loving someone, Vittoria."
Yes I love him. But I'm not sure what I was supposed to do with it.
He tucked a strand of my blonde dyed hair behind my ear. "I believe you when you say what you felt for me was real. But we both know somewhere in your subconscious mind you secretly wished that our relationship helped you get over the past. You didn't realize it then but that thought was there, suppressed beneath your will to love someone else."
I don't know how he did that. He always read minds so clearly. I didn't know this myself. Or maybe I did, but wasn't able to put it into words.
"Please teach me how to be so sought out with your thoughts. I'm a chaotic mess half of the time."
Bluish grey eyes pitched down to his combat boots, then at the horizon and then back at me, clear hesitation written in them. "I'm sorry, Vittoria."
"Why are you apologizing?"
"I behaved quite harshly with you. I had no right to get mad at you when I myself haven't been completely honest with you."
"What?" I gasped, utterly confused.
"I knew your feelings and situation so well because I was feeling the same emotions." He confessed.
"I'm totally lost, Harri." I played with my shoe laces subconsciously. "Are you telling me you were trying to get over someone as well?"
"Yes." He replied, guilty. "But I did like you. There's no lie in it." He added quickly.
"But you loved her." I smiled, curling my hand around his arm.
He nodded and protruded his phone, scrolling through some photos until a certain one showed up on the screen.
"Isabella Stokes." A warm smile stretched over his lips as he looked at the picture of the brunette with him. They both looked too young. Maybe in their school days.
"She's so pretty."
"I loved her ever since I knew love. She's the only girl I ever loved. But I was afraid of commitment. I wanted her but I didn't want to be in a relationship with her." His adam's apple popped as he gulped down a sob stuck in his throat.
"But she loved you back, didn't she?" I caressed the back of his hand to comfort him.
"She loved me a lot. That was the problem." His voice turned brittle but it didn't break. "I always placed her after my selfish desires. When it came to my career and my love, I quite easily chose the former. I left her and flew to the States. I knew she loved me enough to never leave me. I had taken her love for granted." He paused and took a deep breath as if physically hurting to go on.
"I lost her, Vittoria." He whispered. "She got tired of it one day and decided to move on. Now she's married. She has her own family. And she's happy."
"I'm sorry." I hugged him, lightly rubbing his back.
"My point is," He pulled apart and held my hands. "Don't waste time in thinking so much, Vittoria. You have what you want right here with you. I don't want you to regret your decisions a few years later like I'm doing right now. You love him, just go and tell him."
"I've hurt him yet again. I don't have the courage to face him. I doubt he'll see me the same way as before." I tried to keep my tears at bay. The mere sound of it hurt me like a bitch.
"Then we make him jealous. I'm sure dear boss will melt. I saw how possessive he is with you." He shouldered me playfully.
"That's a very stupid idea, Harri." I scoffed.
"No, trust me that only sounds stupid. But in reality, this technique as old as time always works. Ask me? I still feel jealous seeing Bella's husband."
I shook my head, chuckling at his childish suggestion. "I can't use you like that. It's not cool."
"What if I'm ready to be used." He wiggled his brows comically.
"Oh no, do that again. I'm gonna capture it in my phone." I laughed.
"If it's so entertaining, I'm going to have to charge you some fees." He sassed.
"Come on, Harri boy! I thought I was special." I feigned hurt.
"Hmm." He scratched his neck. "I have to give that one you. I worked with models and actresses but even they didn't seem to attract me like you did."
"Oh! So this is where I'm supposed to feel arrogant?" I took his hand as he helped me up.
"That'd be a little cocky. But yes, you can feel flattered." He shrugged, joining me with our little laughing session.
"So we're good, aren't we?" I asked hopefully as we began our descend over the slight gradient of the hill.
"Of course, princess Leia. I didn't like staying grumpy and mad at you. I missed you."
I immediately hugged him, more like jumped over him, a relieved smile adorning my face.
"I missed you too."
I didn't know what to name our relationship. We weren't a couple, we weren't even just friends. It was something else— unnamed but beautiful, like a shared misery. Maybe that's what made us special to each other.
"So how's my Nia?"
"Your Nia was missing you."
"Aww, I miss her too. I still have to honor my promise of getting her chocolates. Maybe I'll visit her soon with Mase. He was dying to meet junior Outhwaite."
"Please do." He smiled.
The mansion appeared, peeking through the woven blanket of green foliage. Harri went back to work, guarding the back of the house. I couldn't thank him enough. If it wasn't for him, I'd still be busy pitying myself and getting tangled in my own thoughts.
Everything is crystal clear now. I don't care about anyone; Camila, Oliver or even the world. I just cared about Rafael and he was all that mattered to me. I'll make up for all the misunderstandings and close all the distance between us.
I will confess my feelings to him.
•••••••
Impatiently pacing around my room, I waited to hear the sound of his car rolling in through the gates. It was half an hour past his normal time to return. I was getting anxious. I decided to head downstairs and join the rest of the family hoping the time flew quickly if I did so.
"Vittoria? Hey!"
Ugh! Just what I needed to dampen my mood.
"Hi Camila." I said bluntly.
Something was odd about her. I couldn't quite put a finger on what it was.
"What a fool must you be to lose someone like Rafael. But don't worry, sister. I'll be here to help you with your broken heart."
Blah blah blah, shut up!
Wait until I take back what's rightfully mine.
Not wasting my precious breath on her, I skipped down the stairs, jumping over the last two.
Everyone was gathered in the living room, collectively pulling poor Liam's leg who sat there with a grumpy face and crossed arms.
"Vittoria! Cami! My girls are here!" He smiled widely and opened his arms for us. Camila didn't respond and I dived over him, making him groan in response.
"Who's troubling my baby?" I narrowed my eyes at the mocking crowd.
"Ugh! Currently it's you, Vittoria. I think I just broke a rib." He whimpered, overdoing the acting.
I was about to speak when Rafael's footsteps echoed into the room. My face lit up and my heart beated faster.
"I was waiting for you, Rafael."
The room went dead silent. Because Camila and I said that in unison and then exchanged disgusted glares.
"I'm sorry I got stuck up with work, Mila."
I tried not to get hurt.
She sashayed her way up to him, hitching her arms around his neck while he bent down just a little to allow her to peck his lips.
I watched the hurtful scene play before me, my nails digging the soft flesh of my palm. Throwing out the cynical thoughts from my head and ignoring everyone's stares on me, I cleared my throat to speak but was yet again interrupted by Rafael. It was just a simple gesture. But it rendered me unable to let words out.
He laced his fingers with her and tugged her closer to us, standing before us like we were audiences awaiting their presence.
"We're getting married. Soon." He smiled, looking at his fiancée.
Mason: Vote. Bye.