Hello Lovely Readers,
I'm so obsessed with this chapter! It's all I'm going to say. Carry on.
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I always thought that winter break was supposed to be a moment to chill and spend time with family, but I guess I was wrong. For cool people like Dylan, it's party season.
I mean, he's at a different party every single day. I guess I thought he was going to stay more at home, because you know, it's Christmas, New Year after all.
I always pictured our holidays together to be watching Christmas movies, in cozy pajamas and chilling at home with the fireplace on and having hot tea.
Yet, it's New Year's eve and here I am in New York at a frat party. As I look around the house we are at, the amount of people drinking and the blasting music almost deafening me, I wonder if this is how Dylan has always been.
He's more the party type than I thought.
Dylan is somewhere drunk with his friends and I'm bored out of my mind. There's nothing I'd want more than to go home or talk to someone I'm actually friends with rather than these people I don't even know.
After looking for Dylan for a good few minutes, I finally manage to go to the front of the house to sit at a quiet place - if that's even possible - and I start scrolling through my instagram feed to see if there's anything new.
That's how much I'm enjoying this party...
There's nothing really interesting, so I'm just going photo by photo without paying much attention to it, until I see a post a guy from my class did.
It's a picture of him and his friends in the hallway where the lockers are. He posted today, but it looks like it was taken before winter break.
I don't really care about him and his friends, but I notice Bennett in the background of the photo, so I zoom in to take a better look at him. I smile at how focused he is as he gets his stuff from his locker.
He is not looking at the photo, so I guess it was just a coincidence that he's there as the guys are close to where his locker is.
Is it weird that I think it would be nice to spend time with him instead of being in this stupid party?
I suddenly think of Christmas, that we spent at the West's house. It was so nice, it was a happy day and that was when Dylan and I told everyone that we are dating.
Our moms pretended to be surprised and our dads didn't know what to do. They looked at each other, both with a funny expression. I guess it's because now they have to deal with their kids dating.
Bennett didn't say a single word and he kept looking at me with a blank expression that was hard to read.
Apart from that and the lecture my dad gave me when we got home about how I should be careful and use condoms, only to make me want to disappear, it was great.
Bennett even gave me a gift, that was so cute. I could only smile when I opened the box and found a pack of six special flavored Pringles. My mind immediately went to that day that we stargazed together.
Dylan gave a heart-shaped box full of chocolate truffles. I smiled at the gesture, but Bennett was speaking before I could say anything.
''She doesn't like chocolate.'' He said without even looking at his brother. Although it bothered me that he called Dylan out, it was sort of cute. Dylan just shrugged and ate the truffles himself. I don't mind though.
I suddenly feel the urge to talk to Bennett, so without thinking too much, I go to his name on the contacts list and dial his number.
I wait nervously for him to pick up and I start biting my nails as I wait.
Although it's still early, it's New Year's eve, so he must be busy. Busy with Kate...
This is a bad idea.
"Alex?" I feel like a dejavù of that time when I called him by mistake when I wanted to tell Dylan how I feel.
Things have changed so much since then.
"Hey, how are you?" I casually ask.
"I'm fine. Are you ok?" I stay silent for a second. "Alex?"
"Sorry, I'm here. I'm fine, I'm at some party and I just... I guess I just wanted to talk to you." I say, honestly.
He doesn't say anything for a moment and I don't know what to expect next.
"Are you mad?" I finally ask.
"No, I'm just thinking." His voice is soft and kind of comforting.
"About what?" I ask, my voice failing for a second. Call it anxiety.
"About what to say to you. You're at a party and you call me, I don't know how to respond to that."
I consider that for a second. His tone changed, like he's not happy and I feel bad for not considering it from his perspective. I'm with his brother and I call him.
If it was the opposite, I'd be pretty upset.
''Sorry, you're right. I shouldn't have called you, I just didn't know who else to talk to.'' There's a long silence before he speaks.
''You can call me whenever you want, even if you don't have a reason to.'' I nod and smile relieved, even if he can't see me. "Tell me, what are you doing?"
I smile as I press the phone against my ear.
"I'm sitting on this bench outside the house where the party is happening." I look around thinking what to tell him about this place.
"It's cold, you should go inside." I snort a laugh. I find it funny that Bennett is worried about me even in a situation like this.
He is unexpectedly adorable and I wish we were hanging out today. It would be so much better than being at this party.
It's not like I'm spending time with Dylan anyway.
"I don't want to go inside. It's too crowded. What are you doing?" I ask the same question he did.
"Reading." Of course he is.
"Reading? Reading what?"
"It's a book called Biochemical Molecular Aspects." I laugh out loud. "Don't laugh. That's actually very interesting".
"I'm sure it is. Maybe you can explain it to me someday." Holy shit, did I just flirt with Bennett?
No, of course not. It just came out wrong.
"Listen, you should go find Dylan. He must be looking for you. I need to get ready for New Year anyway."
Shit. He probably thinks I flirted, but I swear it wasn't intentional. I don't know if I feel embarrassed or if I should pretend it didn't happen.
"Right. I'm sorry I called you." I say in an embarrassed tone.
"Don't be sorry. Be careful, ok?'' His once again soft voice makes me close my eyes for a second before answering to him.
"Sure."
We hang up after a few seconds and I can't help but feel like the worst person ever. I shouldn't have called him. I make my way inside the house to look for Dylan and then I feel my phone buzzing in my hand.
Call me when you get home. Or text me so I know you're safe. Bennett.
I smile at my phone and I'm about to type an answer when I hear Dylan's voice.
"There she is. I was looking for you." I quickly send Bennett a smiley face before shoving the phone inside my pocket.
I look at Dylan and half smile at him. He gives me a hug, but his body hovers mine as he's a bit drunk and not aware of his movements.
"Sorry, I guess I drank too much." He says as he spills a bit of beer on my top.
"It's ok, don't worry about it." I say, cleaning myself.
"Here, drink this. Tonight is to celebrate and get wasted!" Dylan hands me a beer bottle and I take a sip of it.
Things feel weird after the phone call with Bennett. I'm finally spending time with Dylan like I wanted to, but my head is somewhere else.
I decide that the only way to have fun tonight is to drink, so I'm drinking more beer than I should and I already feel a bit drunk by the time that Dylan is back to his friends.
I keep thinking of how Bennett cared about me. I smile remembering how he told me to go inside because it's cold.
I look outside the balcony and it's an ass freezing night. Instead of feeling excited for being at a New Year's eve party in NY like an adult, I'm drunk and should definitely be somewhere else.
I push myself through the people screaming "happy new year" so I can grab my coat and in a second, I'm out the door. I don't bother looking for Dylan, it's been a good ten minutes that I don't even know where he is.
The clock just hit midnight, meaning that it's new year already and I was alone by the end of the countdown. I saw Dylan a while ago at the other side of the room, giving his friends bro hugs, not seeming to mind my presence.
So I made up my mind.
I check on my phone and the night train is working, so without thinking too much, I stumble as I go to the subway that will take me to the train station and soon enough I'm going home.
Well, not home exactly.
I'm not sure what I'm doing. There's one thing about me that I've come to know ever since I started dating Dylan, since I started going to parties with him, to be more precise. I'm the type of person that does impulsive things when drunk, which is exactly what I'm doing right now.
I drank too much, the world is spinning, it's new year and I'm alone in the train.
Fuck my life, right?
It's a good twenty minutes walk from the train station to my destination. Maybe the walk will sober me up, so I try not to focus on my freezing hands and start walking, stumbling a bit.
After about ten minutes walking I look at my phone and it's close to 2 am. Did I leave the party at midnight? Or was it later? I really don't know.
The whole way here took more time than I expected, but I still don't feel sober.
By the time I finally get to the West's house, I'm breathing heavily. I feel cold, but sweaty at the same time.
I look at the house in front of me and I slowly walk up the steps, feeling tired as hell. I try to peek inside the window, but all I see is dark.
I think about ringing the bell, but then a thought comes to my mind.
It's freaking new year, what if no one is home? I know that Denise and George are with my parents in Millburn's city center, but why would Bennett be home alone? He said he needed to get ready for new year, so he's probably at a friend's house, right?
Bennett is not the lonely guy I always pictured him to be, he has... What if he's with Kate?
This was definitely a stupid idea.
I look at the houses down the street and I can see some lights on even at this hour of the night. It's usually that day when people go to bed late, so I contemplate the neighborhood as I think of a plan.
I definitely didn't think this through, but I'm drunk, so what do I know?
I laugh, for no reason, because this is such a mess. You know what? Screw it, as I'm here already, I might as well go inside.
I don't feel like walking home, I need to get warm and this night already sucks, so what do I have to lose by breaking into our friends' house?
If I know where the spare key is, I'm not technically breaking in, right?
I open the door with the key they keep under a fake rock and I quickly step inside, welcoming the warmth of the house.
I immediately go upstairs and I freeze the moment I stop in front of Bennett's room, as I see the light on.
My heart beats fast, because Bennett is home and because I exercised too much - walking for this long in the winter is considered heavy exercise in my book.
I should turn around and leave, but my bad judgment is sharp today, so I knock on his door instead and wait for him to open.
It's taking too long, so when I'm thinking that he probably forgot the lights on, the door cracks open and a tired Bennett comes to view, a confused look on his face, because well, I'm knocking on his door and he knows no one is home.
"Alex? Fuck." He passes his hand through his hair. "You scared the shit out of me."
I ignore his comment as he walks back inside his room and I follow him.
"Your room is a mess. You never let your room be this messy." He looks at me disapprovingly.
"I wasn't expecting any guests. If I knew you'd crash into my room in the middle of the night, I would've cleaned. What the hell are you doing here?"
"I don't know." I laugh again and he eyes me suspiciously.
"Are you drunk?" I can feel the scold in his tone.
"I'm... functional, I guess."
"I'll take that as a yes." He turns around and starts getting his books that are scattered on his bed.
"I just wanted to talk." I whine and he sighs.
"Where is my brother?"
"Pf, I don't know. At the party, probably." I take one of the books and pretend to be going through the pages.
"Does he know you're here?" I don't like his tone, but I can't be mad at him
"Can we stop talking about Dylan? And no, he doesn't know. I'm sure he didn't even notice I left." I roll my eyes.
"You shouldn't be here." He sighs heavily this time and I shrug.
"What about you? I wasn't expecting you to be home. Shouldn't you be with your friends?" I control myself not to ask him about Kate, because it would be a disastrous conversation.
The point is, he's not with her, he is here and that makes me feel... I don't know how I feel.
"I got home not long ago, I was indeed with my friends, but I'm tired so I decided to head home."
"That's good." I don't know what to say to him. I'm not even sure what I'm doing here.
"Wait a second, how did you get here? If you were in New York and Dylan is still there, how on earth are you here?" He asks, concern evident in his voice.
"I took the night train." I blink, innocently.
"Night train?! Are you out of your mind? It's dangerous.'' He glares at me. ''I told you to be careful and you do the exact opposite."
"Don't scold me. What was I supposed to do?" He's overreacting, I know I took the train alone, I'm drunk and walked here in the middle of the night, but it's not that dangerous. Right?
"You should have called me. If I knew you wanted to leave, I would have gone to pick you up." My heart skips a bit as he says that.
"You were with your friends."
"I don't care." Is it weird that I feel good about the fact that he would leave his friends to come rescue me? "The next time this happens, and I hope it doesn't, you call me, do you understand?"
I nod, like a little kid.
"Let's go, I'll drive you home." He goes to his study table to get his car keys, but I grab his arm to stop him.
"Can I stay?" He eyes me not looking convinced. "You're my only friend."
"That's not true."
I know it's not, but Lilly is traveling with her family and I just feel lonely.
"Well, you're the only friend I want to hang out with right now." I pout.
"Alex, I don't think that's a good idea. I really think you should go."
"I can sleep on the floor." I think he was about to agree to that just to give me a hard time and see if I would change my mind.
I mean, he's an absolute gentleman and would never let me sleep on the floor.
If I weren't still intoxicated, I would be gone in a heartbeat if he said he wants me to leave, but I'm not thinking straight, so I insist.
"Your floor looks comfortable. Please?" I give him my plea smile, that usually helps me get what I want, but I have no idea if it would work with him as well, until he finally agrees.
"Fine. I'll get you some blankets." He's out of sight and back in a minute. He also hands me sweatpants and a t-shirt of his.
Before I go change, he makes me search in my purse for my migraine medicine and insists that if I didn't have it with me, there was no way in hell he'd let me stay. He'd take me straight home, where I'd take care of myself and that was final.
Luckily, I took the medicine with me before leaving home today.
When I'm back from changing in the bathroom, I see the improvised bed on the floor. I can see in his face that he is highly uncomfortable with this arrangement. I believe he almost offered for us to switch, but refrained himself and stood his ground.
I see his eyes land on me, and he eyes me from head to toe, his eyes a bit widen, his breathing clearly shallow and I can't really read what's going on inside his mind, as usual.
I feel self-conscious of how I look in his clothes, that are big on my body and I can't deny that they smell great.
With my cheeks red, I finally lay down on the floor and he turns off the light before lying down on his bed.
I keep thinking about everything that has been going on lately, so even if my eyes are closed, I can't sleep.
I didn't expect to end the night, this night specially, in Bennett's room, yet here I am.
What a weird way to start the year. Who would have figured?
After about twenty minutes or so of rolling from one side to the other and a lot of internal debate, I finally made up my mind.
I silently stand up and make my way to his bed. I shouldn't, I know, but the floor is really hard and uncomfortable.
I thought he was already sleeping, but as soon as I slightly pull the blankets, I hear his heavy sigh as he makes room for me in the bed.
He's glued to the wall, giving me more than enough space to snuggle into the comfy mattress.
I lie in bed and he adjusts himself in a way that our bodies end up together, the arm that was resting over his head is now over my shoulder and I'm resting my head on his chest.
He doesn't say anything for a moment and neither do I. I just stay there in his embrace thinking why the hell this feels more comfortable than it should.
I simply fit in his embrace. Period.
"Are you warm?" He asks in a low voice and I nod as I snuggle closer to him at the same time that his arm tightens around me.
I close my eyes once again, the sleep that wasn't coming starts to make its way and I feel like I'll be out in seconds.
"Bennett?" He mumbles in response and I look up to meet his eyes. "Happy new year."
"Happy new year, Alex." He whispers and I feel his head rest closer to mine.
I smile against his chest and the last thing I hear before I drift off to sleep is almost a whisper coming from Bennett.
"This is a very, very bad idea."
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Hello Lovely Readers,
This chapter gives me chills! Seriously, Alex and Bennett are the cutest thing ever! Any thoughts??
Get ready for what's coming next (good AND bad).
I can't wait.
Love,
Me