(Secret POV)
so my day started out like any other in the apocalypse. shoot some zombies, check the water reserves, say bye to Walter, a cat who somehow is getting by in the apocalypse, and go to the local Safeway for some food. you know. the usual.
up until I hear a terrifying roar a "Blarg!!!" and then turn the corner to see a scrawny guy about my age in a Tommyinnit style T-shirt holding an unloaded shotgun. how do I know it was unloaded? the idiot looked as confused as hell when nothing happened. credit for confidence, I guess.
this is where I came in. I pull out my sniper rifle and get a few rounds of on the big ugly (the monster not the idiot) and drew its attention to me. cuz I'm a good person. or just as idiotic as the guy. either way the thing came rushing over ready to bull doze me when-
BAM! BAM! "as the great Tobey Maguire once said 'Im'ma put some dirt in your eye!'" the idiotic guy had loaded the shotgun without blowing his face off and started shooting the giant monster, "come get some, Blarg! unless you a pussy!"
the giant monster charged after that idiot nostrils flaring. would've been nice if he stuck around. probably eaten by now.
kinda cute.