"Thank God you're here," Colin says opening the door. He had a dirty nappy in his hand and Rose was crying. We stop by every morning with breakfast from the coffee shop. "Where is she?" Nell says walking in dumping the bag of food on the coffee table and making grabby hands at Scarlett. She handed her Rose. "Hi princess." She greeted and Rose cooed, it had been a month. I had been hoping on flights to LA for press and back home again so I'm only away for a max of 48 hours and it's been working because I get to be with my girlfriend more and she takes the mornings off to come to see Scar with me and then we get to hang out for a while before we do our own thing for the rest of the day both working and then we go get dinner either cook or eat out somewhere. It's been working for us.
"Are you giving muma a hard time? That's not nice." Nell was really good with Rose, like super good and it was such a turn on. I handed Scarlett her food. "Not to sound like the worse mum ever, but I count down the hours that you two come over." "We all need a break sometimes," I say handing her, her coffee. I sit with my food. "I count down the hours we come here too." "But you're excited to see, Rose. I'm excited for you to take her." "Still excited," Nell says rocking the baby walking around the room. "How cute is she with her?" "So cute. I love it." I say watching Nell and Rose.
Nell's phone was ringing. "Bug." "Answer it please." She says too enchanted by Rose to care what else was happening. "Hello, Nell's phone." "Lizzie?" "Hi Annabella, have you changed your number." "No, I'm calling from the hospital phone." "What?" I stand up and leave the room, Nell has been happy this whole month it's been blissfully perfect, we have been happy together, we're working and none of us was bad. We've been good. Why does this always happen? "What's happened?" "It's Cassie." My breath got caught in my throat, it was hard to not panic after what happened in June. "Is it bad?" "Yeah, you guys need to come home." "What's happened?" "She didn't learn." "What?" "Nora and Cassie they, they did it again. The car flipped caught on some rocks by the sea... She's in pretty bad shape." "Oh my gosh." "Please just come. Please. Please." "Yeah, we'll be there. We'll be there as soon as we can."
I hang up and go back into the lounge. "Lizzie?" Scarlett stood with a concerned look on her face. "Nell, we need to go." "But we just got here, and Rosie hasn't had her aunty Lizzie cuddles yet." "We have a plane to catch." "No, we don't." "Nell please just come on." "What's happened?" She finally looked at me and could probably see the state I'm in. Her mother was begging me to get her there so it's bad. And her mum was crying and... It's bad. It's Cassie and car and Nell is going to... She's going to break. "It's Cassie, she's in the hospital with Nora... Um." "No." She shakes her head her lip already wobbling as she reads my expression reading my mind before I've even said anything. "Car got caught on the edge of some rocks by the beach." She physically stopped breathing, I saw the moment she just stopped. Colin took Rose from her and I genuinely think Rose was the only thing keeping her standing. She collapsed onto the floor.
"Nell, Eleanor, breathe please," Scarlett said kneeling beside her. "Eleanor." She rubbed her back and she did start breathing but it was far from regular. "Sweetie." Scarlett was trying to get her to talk to her but she was elsewhere her eyes vacant. "I got her," I tell her kneeling in front of her and taking her hands. "Baby," I whispered to her. "Is she alive?" "I think so, your mum said we need to come now." "I need to call. I need to know." "Okay, we can do that. Can you stand?" She nodded and stood she was a little shakey but she stood and she went to Colin and he gave her a side hug and she pecked Rose's head softly.
We walked home and I looked at flights whilst she was on the phone with one of her brothers. I packed us a small bag just hand luggage with our meds and chargers and both our purses with our IDs. I put her a change of clothes in too. "The flight is in two hours." She nodded, she had chewed her lip so much it was bleeding. "Angel." I pulled it from her teeth. "You're hurting yourself." She didn't respond to me. "Angel," I say again when her lip went straight back between her teeth. I kissed her to get her to stop the taste of her metallic blood on my tongue. "We need to go." She nodded and stood up. I held her hand and walked her out to the car I had waiting and I kept her close, she was so vacant, empty, she wasn't here and it was horrible to see. I had no clue what she was thinking.
Paps swarmed the airport like they always did. I kept her close to me and shielded her face from the flashes with my hand so they couldn't get a photo of her my sunglasses covered most of my face. We went straight through and to the first class, lounge to wait.
NELLS' POV
Every second of the accident was running through my head. The screeching of the breaks, the banging of the two cars, the glass shattering, mine and Ria's screaming as the car spun and tipped and flipped and fell. The bright lights of the oncoming traffic, Ria tried to avoid and then silence. The glass all around us, the feeling of being suspended as the car was upside down, the pain in my neck the warm blood trickling down my face and neck. Seeing Ria's blonde hair dyed red and her suspended there. "Ria." I tried to wake her. "Ria, please wake up. I'm scared." I whispered to her. Her side of the car was completely crushed and there were dots in my vision. "Nell?" "Ria?" "You're okay." "I can't move." "Neither." "Can you see?" "I think so." She tried to move and groaned in pain.
Sirens were sounded in the distance and the blue flashing lights. "It's going to be okay, Help is coming." She told me. But it wasn't okay, even when the help got there. "Take her first," Ria told them. "We need to get you okay first, ma'am." "I love you, Nelly, Poo." "Love you, Ria Pee-a." My eyes got heavy and I tried to keep them open but I couldn't and it went black and fuzzy.
And that's all that was going through my head over and over and Ria got distorted into Cassie and I could see her hanging there in pain and scared. I should be protecting her. I was meant to protect her and I failed that. And she was in the same place I was in, she was hanging there scared and hurt and she might be more hurt than me. I should have been home looking after her. I should have been more strict with her. I should have been there to guide her not a million miles away. She was scared and alone and hurt without me. I should have fixed it. I should have taught her better. Protected her more and now she's hurt.
My chest kept tightening the more I thought but I couldn't stop it's all I could see, Cassie and Ria and Cassie and Ria.
Before I knew it I was standing in front of my mum, how did that even happen we were in the car in New York and now we're here, in the hospital. "Bug?" "Hmm?" I say snapping back to reality. "How was your flight?" "Fine, where is she? I need to see her." "Nell I think you need to prepare yourself for the worst." "Don't say that. Don't give up on her." "Nelly, it's bad, Honey." I shake my head. I didn't want to hear it. I couldn't lose her. "Nell. They're turning the machines off." "No." I sobbed I didn't care who was around my heart was breaking it physically hurt it felt like my whole body was on fire, it was screaming it was burning it was so overwhelming. "We were waiting for you to get here." "No, Tony said on the phone there was a chance." "Nell there's no brain activity." "Please." I leant my head on my mum's shoulder and my mum rubbed up and down my back as I cried. "I'm sorry." "Nell this isn't your fault." "I should have been at home. I should have stayed. I could have done more. She was acting out and I should have been there." "Eleanor, listen to me. This was dumb teenagers making a mistake." "A mistake that took her life!" I shouted. My brothers touched me and I held my arms up and everyone backed off. They knew what it meant. I can't deal with it.
We all went in one by one to say our goodbyes. Lizzie held my hand whilst we were in there. She was so cut up and bruised and hurt and she had tubes and wires all over her helping her breathe and monitor different levels. They took all the tubes and wires off switching the machines off. Mum and my brothers didn't want to watch her die, but she couldn't be alone. I got in the bed with her and held her, she was taking laboured breaths. The doctor told us she'd do this for a while and they'd get less frequent.
"I'm with you until the end, Bug." I brushed my fingers through her hair, it still had the dried blood at the root. "My poor princess," I spoke to her 24 hours ago for three hours. She was happy and excited about school and now she's lying here dying in my arms. "I'm sorry, baby girl." I kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much. You're my best friend. And I don't know how I'm going to do life without you." "I'd go to the end of the earth for you... I love you." I held her she laid on me as she slipped away into her forever sleep. The monitor flat-lining. "Goodnight, Cuddle bug," I say for the last time.
The doctors come in and switch the sound off and I lay her down on the pillows and cover her with the blanket and kiss her forehead between her cuts. "I love you." I walked out of the room and everything froze like it did when mum told me about Ria. It froze.
LIZZIE'S POV
She freezes, pale as a ghost in the middle of the hallways just looked ahead. The boys went to her as her knees buckled and they caught her from hitting the floor, her sobs echoed down the hall and it was painful to watch and knowing Cassie was gone hurt even more. She was a special kid, she was kind and funny and energetic and she was so intelligent and her smile lit up the whole room.
Nell couldn't catch her breaths as she cried onto her brother's shoulder gripping his shirt. I needed her to breathe, to take one breath so she wouldn't suffocate herself. It was concerning, I wanted to take all her pain away. I haven't seen her be this emotional, yeah there was the time she was crying about her dad but this was way worse, I could hear the pain, doctors came to check on her and her mum wouldn't let them touch her knowing it would make her worse. I felt helpless not knowing what to do to help her, I didn't know what to say or do to stop the hurt. And then like a switch she just stopped she froze again and she stood up straight and she wiped her face and her eyes were a deep brown I knew she was in pain a lot of pain. And then rage took over and she stormed past everyone and swung the door to a nearby room open and she just started shouting. We all rushed to her to stop her but she was in there and it was Nora, she was a little cut up but nothing like Cassie was. Nora was awake and talking.
"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HER!" She shouted. "You're so stupid! She's my sister she deserved to be alive and you took that from her. You took her future you ruined it because you wanted to do something so stupid! She was 15! And now she's dead and she's gone and it's all your fault! It's all your fault!" it took Tony and Jr to get her out of the room and she was still fighting them in the hall she was hitting at Jr's chest full force and he just took it knowing her and how much she was hurting she just needed to get it out of her system but she really wanted to get back in that room and continue her rant at Nora. "Get off me!" She shouted. "Nelly, you need to stop." "NO!' She shouted. "She's dead. She's fucking dead. You want me to feel, I'm feeling. She's gone!" "Nell." She pulled her arms free and went back into the room.
"Drink driving are you insane? After last time you still felt the need to go and do that again! I told you. I warned you both about the impact it can have and now look at this mess. You shouldn't have been drinking. You shouldn't have been driving. You ruined her life it's all your fault." I got in front of her and the anger in her eyes although wasn't directed at me reminded me of Robbie but I reminded myself she was Nell my soft sweet Nell and she was just in pain right now. I cupped her cheeks. "Angel." She stopped shouting at the teen in the hospital bed. "Look at me." She locked eyes with mine. "She's dead, Lizzie." "I know, come on." I lead her out of the room and wrapped my arms around her one of the boys closed Nora's door.
"Miss Hastings." That's a psych doctor. "She's okay," I tell him. "I just want to talk." "No, she doesn't need to talk. She needs sleep and she needs to come home. Don't you bug?" I pulled away to cup her face. "Lizzie, I think she should go with the doctor." Anna says "No," I say to her mum's request. "She doesn't need to. She just needs to sleep. And come home." "Lizzie." "Please, Mrs Hasting. I can take care of her." I tell her clearly kissing the top of Nell's head. She had her therapist at home that's who she needs to talk to not a stranger who didn't know her. "Mrs Hastings?" The doctor asked, they thought she was having a psychotic break or something. The girl just lost her baby sister to the same accident that she lost her best friend in around the same time she lost Ria too. In fact, it was 7 days after Ria passed. "Elizabeth, can you do this?" "Yes." Of course, I can take care of her. "She'll be okay for now, thank you." The doctor backed off. I was being protective of Nell and she was holding onto me tightly so I knew she wanted me to hold her right now. "What were you planning on doing?" I asked. "Sadating her for a while." "Why? You all ride her dick about her showing how she feels about how much she doesn't care and she shows you her emotions once, once and you're afraid of it?" "Elizabeth." "Take me home." Nell cut her mum off. "Okay. I can do that." Her brother tries to help her but she held her arm up and then wrapped herself around me again, I hold her to my side her head buried in my chest. "I got her," I tell him.
I get us a car and they drive us home. "Hey, Liz, Hey Nell. Good to have you back." Matty sticks his head in the car. He frowned seeing the state Nell was in. Her hands were shaking her eyes completely brown no colour to them at all her eyes were red raw her skin pale and splotchy from her tears. "Is everything okay?" "Yeah... We just want to get home." He waved us in and looked genuinely concerned for us.
I got her into our room I changed her and she was like a doll, she was barely holding herself up, she wasn't helping me in any way to change her. "Angel." She didn't respond to me at all. I got her skincare stuff and cleaned her skin with a bowl of warm water and flannel as she sat on the bed, her skin just needed soothing after being irritated and inflamed from her tears. I was gentle with her lip that was cut in two places from her constant bitting on the plane. I tried my best to not let her do that but it was an automatic response. I was just glad she wasn't doing it right now. I pecked her lips softly and when I pulled away her eyes fluttered open. "I'm here." "Always." She mumbled.
"What can I do?" "I don't know." She started crying again. "I want the pain to stop." I wrapped my arms around her. "I wish I could do that for you," I tell her she grips my hoodie. "I'm here, Angel." I move onto the bed with her and she cuddles into my side. "She's gone." I didn't know what to say to her. "I don't know what to do." "Right now, we're going to get some rest, you and me." She nodded and cried herself to sleep, I ran my fingers through her hair and whispered sweet nothings to her until she fell asleep, I let my tears slip. I've known Cassie for 2 years and thinking about her being gone, about never seeing her again was an impossible thought. Not having late-night phone calls with her and Nell, not picking her up from school, not having her tease me about my paddleboarding skills, or burst through doors singing some musical theatre song. And the pain the whole family would be in right now.