^(Nora= Left Cassie=Right)^
Summer in LA seemed more manageable now I wasn't at the house full time and I was still able to work at the studio, it wasn't as raw this year almost two years without him and I think I was starting to grieve him and not pretend he's coming back. Actually starting to move on, process. Being in the studio I felt closer to him, I felt warm wrapped in his arms, I felt peaceful.
Lizzie and dropped our things off at the house before heading straight to Malibu for Cassie's birthday party. We went back to New York before coming to LA to check in with Scarlett and the twins and Lizzie's mum. I also wanted to check on the studio and apartment for myself. Scarlett only had like three months left so we wanted to check in on her. She's cranky and keeps complaining about how fat she is. We kept telling her she wasn't and that she was growing a human being inside of her. She still hasn't found out the gender yet, it was killing me. I wanted to know more than they wanted to know. Colin and Scarlett are doing well, they're back on track and that's really good to hear. I think they're both still a little scared but they're doing the best they can.
The twins are really busy with getting their summer line out on the website, they already have a lot of preorders so they're working around the clock putting the final details to it all. And Jarnie is really well too. We had dinner with her and got to catch up. Lizzie also did her interview on Jimmy Fallon which now makes us an official couple in the eyes of Hollywood. We packed all that into a three day weekend to get back in time for Cassie's birthday.
"You made it." Mum hugged me and then Lizzie before welcoming us into the house. "Where's the birthday girl?" "On the beach with her friends." "She's missed you." "I know we couldn't get an earlier flight so this was as early as we could get here," I explain. "Don't worry about it, I'm sure she understands." "I hope so because we only just got back to being us again." "She'll be fine." I nodded. Cassie can be sensitive sometimes, especially surrounding my absence.
"How are you, girls?" "Tired." We both say in unison. "Well, you don't have to stay all night." I looked at Lizzie. "We'll stay for as long as we can," She told me and I nodded. I was driving so as long as I'm not overly tired falling asleep in the sand. "Did you get her a cake?" I asked. "I had to order it from the store by the coffee shop." I go into the office where we always keep the cake and take a peek. "It's good," I say and mum laughs. "Next time you're coming home early to make her one. No one beats your birthday cakes." I smiled flattered by the compliment.
We go out to the beach and get a drink. "I want my camera." I pout. I left it at home we were in such a rush to leave I completely forgot to get it from the office. I have cameras all over the country now. I have them in each house I visit. MK is obsessed with playing with them so I have an old one from my teen years that I've left at hers. "Here." I smiled wide. "You forget things all the time." "You let me believe I forgot it the whole way here?" I say, taking it from her. "I had to teach you a lesson." I snap a photo of her laughing and I admire it for a while. "Okay, my turn. I want one of you." "Later, okay." She nodded agreeing, she'll hold me to it too. I just hope she'd forget.
I snapped photos as I did every year, we sat with my grandparents for a while. Cassie came and said hello and opened her gifts from Lizzie and me. When she comes over to us a third time a drink in hand. "What's in the cup, bug?" I ask her with an amused smile on my face, her staggering gave her away. I remember my first time getting tipsy on this beach. "Lemonade." "Care to share?" I took the cup and the liquor burned my throat. "Cass that's straight vodka." "Shh." "No not shush. You're 15." "You're meant to be fun." "Vodka, Cassie." I hold the drink out of reach. "I'm just having fun with the girls." "The girl's in the water? Those girls are drinking too." "Don't do this." "It's dangerous." "You do it all the time." "I take a plastic cup of wine on the paddleboard. Not straight vodka in a solo cup." "Please." "Get them out of the water. And quit drinking." I poured the drink on the sand. She challenged me so I stood up and then she rushed off to get the girls out of the water.
"Are you going to tell her mum?" Lizzie asked. "Yeah," I say watching them. They all looked annoyed but they were getting out of the water. I went to tell my mum and she said she'd keep an eye on them.
"Nell?" "Yeah." I look over my shoulder at my mum my hands pausing their actions of playing with Lizzie's hair. We were laid in the sun with my older cousins just chilling. I was too tired to join in, in all the antics. "Have you seen Nora and your sister?" "I've been here," I say, Lizzie sat up so we could both look around for the two teens.
"Celo," I called standing up. "Have you seen Cass?" "Um." "Celo?" "They um." "they what?" "Well, Nora got her learns permit." "Please tell me they haven't." "Um." "I'm going to kick their butts." I turn quickly and rush into the house. "Angel." I look out on the drive. "She's stolen a car. She stole your car." I take a deep breath to calm myself down. "What's happened?" Mum asked me. "They've taken Lizzie's car." "Who?" "Nora and Cassie. And they've been drinking." "Nell just take a breath." "Don't tell me to take a breath, how long have they been missing? What if they're in a ditch somewhere? What if-" "Angel." Lizzie cupped my face. "I can't." "Shh. Listen to me... It's going to be okay. Deep breaths." I couldn't stop thinking about Ria lying next to me upside down in the car, I can't shake the image. The noise around me was so blurry I couldn't make anything else out. I moved away to the front door and took off in a run. I needed to find them.
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LIZZIE'S POV
I tried to catch up to her but I got to the end of the drive and realised I had no shoes on, neither did she and she wasn't even breathing properly when she took off. "Which way did she head?" "Left." Jr and Tony took off in and went right. "That's the wrong way!" "They're going to look for the car. They've been through this with Nell. They're worried. And protective." "Nell was having- "Lizzie, she'll be okay." "What about Cassie?" "She'll be okay." I could tell she was worried too.
30 minutes later my car pulled up on the drive and Nell got out of it. The party had been called off. Everything seemed to be in order, the car wasn't damaged at all. "Inside now." She was still very pissed but the panic had disappeared. Nora's mum was here to pick her up and put her straight in the car. Annabella sat Cassie down and lectured her for 15 minutes and by that point, her brothers were back. Nell was pacing around the lounge she wouldn't let me or anyone touch her she kept holding her hands up in defence every time I tried to get her to sit or to stop. "How could you be so stupid!" Nell said finally speaking. "I wasn't thinking." "No, you clearly weren't. Have you not learnt anything? Anything at all? Tony almost died from drunk driving. I lost my friend because of a drunk driver. I almost died! are you that incompetent that none of that resiants with you?" "I'm sorry." "This is beyond a sorry, Cassandra. This is beyond anything you have ever fucking pulled! I can't believe you would even consider getting in a car with her. I thought you were more intelligent than that!" "She had her learns permit." "You're not allowed in the car on her learns permit, not without someone over the age of 21 who has a full license. You know this. I know you know this." "Nell, why not take a walk," Tony suggested. She ignored him easily.
"You could have gotten hurt, you could have hurt someone else, you could have died, you could have killed someone else and you're acting like all you did was ride your bike along the beach." "She's a good driver, she's had her permit for months now." "I don't care. You had been drinking. You weren't even meant to be doing that. You could have taken someone away from their family. You could have ruined someone's life! Why don't you care, Cassie?" "I care." "No, you don't. If you cared you wouldn't have gotten in the car in the first place." I thought she was done but she wasn't. "And stealing a car. Lizzie's car? Really. You went in her purse to get her keys and you stole her car. That is enough, that warrants a lecture and then the following activities are so fucking stupid Cassie. Did you not see what it did to me when Ria died? You could have done that to someone else, or to yourself." I've never really seen Nell raise her voice before, her hands were shaking and she had tears of frustration leaving her eyes neither of them stopping her as she lectured Cassie. "You made us worry. You made mum worry. You will write a letter of apology to, Elizabeth. And you will not be doing a thing like that again. And you." She covered her face. "You could have gotten hurt Cass." "I'm sorry." Cassie was crying at seeing her sister upset. "I'm going on a walk." "Nell." "I'll meet you at home." She kissed my cheek. "Nell you can't walk all the way to Beverly Park," I say to her. "I'll get a cab or something." "Nelly. Eleanor. I'm sorry." Cassie called but she had left.
"I got it." Tony went. "She'll meet you at Home Lizzie," Annabella said. "Lizzie, I'm so sorry." I looked her in her eyes and she was still crying but trying not to. "She loves you so much." My voice cracked. "You were one thing that was keeping her here. And if you ever... I wouldn't want to witness how crushed she'd be." "I'm so, so, sorry." "Happy Birthday. We'll see you at dinner tomorrow." I walked out and got in the car and drove home. I tried to call her a few times but her cell was off.
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I got home and anxiously waited for my girlfriend, she got in like an hour later and walked straight past me, Tony came in after her. "Your gate guy is waiting for me. I didn't have my ID." I waved to Matty. "I just wanted to make sure she got in okay." "Is she okay?" "She's either going to lash out, which is a common thing our family does, or she'll want space." I nodded. "Or if you're really lucky... She only did this with dad so I mean really lucky. She'll curl up on your lap like a little cat and seek comfort." I nodded. "She's pretty freaked out." "I can imagine."
"I better get going." "She threw her cell at a wall... Can you text mum?" "Yeah." Explains why she wasn't answering her phone. I closed the door when Tony got back to Matty and then went upstairs. She was sitting holding a picture, a small polaroid, I've seen it before she keeps it in her purse, it's of her and Ria on a beach they were about 14. I give her space and go to the lounge. She'd come to me when she needed to explode or talk.
I put a film on and pretended to watch it because I was too distracted by what Nell was doing, or feeling. She entered the room and I pretended not to notice because I didn't know how she was going to react, she sat on the sofa a little away from me, and slowly she laid down, laying her head in my lap. I hesitated at first before I laid my hand on her head stroking through her hair. She didn't say anything and I didn't need her to. I liked this option three. The rare option.
"Baby let's go to bed," I whisper to her, the film finished over an hour ago. "I can't sleep." "You have to sleep, we've been travelling and had a busy couple of days." "I can't." "Nell?" "Every time I close my eyes I just see her, the car upside down and" She started to breathe erratically again so I sat her up. "Shh, listen to me," I say, I talk her through it and she calms down.
"We don't have to sleep right now. We can..." I think for a second. "Edit? Or we can cook, bake. Let's bake." She nodded and we went to the kitchen and we baked and cooked and I watched her edit. I think I fell asleep around 4 this morning with my head in her lap.
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I woke up before Nell I was glad to see she was still sleeping. She actually fell asleep at some point. I closed her laptop and moved her up towards the pillows and covered her body with a blanket and leave her to sleep. I go to the kitchen and organise our baking and then call her mum. I filled her in on what was happening. I know Nell is private but her mother was worried. And Cassie asked to speak with her but she was still sleeping.
"Liz? Princess?" "Kitchen, Angel." I was still on the phone with her mum. "Your mums on the phone." "I left my camera at the house." "She said she left her camera at the house." "Yes I brought it in last night, It's in her room." "She's put it in your room." "Okay." "Do you want to speak to her?" "No, thank you... I'm going on a run." "Nell" "I'm 22, I can decide if I want to run or not." "I understand that, but you're exhausted." "No." She walked away from me. "Lizzie, leave her to it, honey." "She's had like three hours of sleep." "I know hun, it's Nell that's how she gets, she processing." Or she's entering a manic episode I think to myself. "I'm worried about it." "What happened last night?" "She went to our room came down a little while later and laid with me. She couldn't sleep. I told you this already." "She came to you. Hear yourself when you say it." "She came to me, yes but now she's exhausted and going on a run." "Lizzie, she came to you. You didn't go to her, you didn't force her to talk. She chose to come to you. She found comfort from you and that's what she'll do. She's different she always has been. Her not sleeping and wanting to run is completely normal for her." "But." "She'll come back to you." I found myself nodding. Though I know normal is t always a good thing when it comes to Nell. Because Nells normal that her mum knows was her un-medicated when she was struggling with an illness. That normal isn't a good thing at all.
"Call me if you need me to come over." "Why would I need you to come over, she'll be okay right?" "Cassie is the one person that kept her here, you were right when you said that. It would have been a shock to the system for her last night." "But she'll be okay." "she's always okay." Yeah, that's her problem. I think to myself. "Is Cassie okay?" "Hungover, apologetic and worried that her sister will be mad at her forever." "Nell is incapable of being mad at her." "I know that Cassie however is convinced she'll be mad forever." I finished up the conversation and got ready for the day. I ended up lounging on the sofa with reruns of friends playing. I was in and out of sleep and I wasn't entirely sure how many episodes I had watched.
"I'm back," Nell called as the door opened. I sat up and stretched. She was sweaty and red in the face. "How was your run?" "Good, it's really hot out today. We should hang by the pool." "You need to sleep." "I'll sleep tonight after dinner." "Nell." "Princess, I'm fine." She smiled at me. What if she was having a manic episode, what if what happened has triggered her and her meds aren't enough to keep her here with me. "Are... Are you having an episode?" Her smile fell the second I said it, it slid off her face everything turning into a frown. "No." "Are you sure? You're not sleeping, you're frantic." "I'm not frantic Lizzie." "You are." "I went on a run." "After less than 4 hours of sleep," I exclaimed. She came around and sit next to me taking my hands. "I'm not having a manic episode. I'm okay." "Promise?" "Promise, bug... I'll sleep by the pool, the weather's amazing." "Okay." She stood up. I pouted and she noticed "I need to shower, I've just been running for an hour and a half." She chuckled. "Text Cassie, she's worried you're mad at her." "I am." "No, you're not. She scared you. You're mad she took my car, yes and she should be in trouble for that but you were more scared than anything, Nell." "I'll text her."
I went upstairs 30 minutes later in time to see her changing into a bikini. I changed with her and she tied up my top for me. "Do you want lunch first?" "No, I'm good. But you eat." "I had breakfast, so I'm okay for now," I say in response she smiled softly at me. She looked tired she had dark circles under her eyes and she was blinking a lot which told me her eyes were physically tired. I hand her a pair of sunglasses as I get mine out and then we head to the pool.
She fell asleep pretty quickly, both of us laying on separate beds but she held my hand, I let my thumb brush over her skin lightly which helped lull her to sleep. She had been asleep for a while and I watched her as she lay peacefully in the sun. I was under the umbrella my skin was a lot fairer than hers and laying in the sun for hours would have me burnt despite the amount of sun cream I wear. But I did love being outside. I noticed her skin turning pink so I decided it was time for her to have her first layer of suncream on of the day. I slowly stood up and tried to remove my hand from hers but she gripped it tighter. I smiled to myself and just let her hold my hand as I stood up and got the sun cream out. She hated putting it on. I have to chase her around like a child. I thought I'd take the opportunity whilst she was asleep to cover her with it. I struggled to put it on with one hand and she opened one eye to look at me. "That better not be suncream." She murmured closing her eye again.
"Of course not, just giving you a nice massage," I say innocently moving to sit over her waist my legs on either side. I continue to work the cream into her skin and pouts as I do it. "You were starting to burn," I say grazing my lips against hers as I lent forward. "Then let me burn." "But I wouldn't be a good girlfriend if I did that." I peck her lips a few times before deepening the kiss letting it last a little longer before I pulled away. She moved one arm to make a makeshift sun visor for her eyes and the other hand rubbed up my thigh and around my butt resting there. My fingers ran along the trail of love bites I left on her body. "Wipe that proud smile off your face." She warned. They kept fading and I kept making sure they'd stay around a while longer. She hadn't gotten annoyed yet but that might have something to do with the type of clothes she's been wearing. Now we're in LA she would be wearing fewer clothes because of the weather difference. She might be less inclined to let me mark my territory than she had been these past few weeks of us being together.
I ignored her and lent down to peck the mark right on the middle of her chest. "What are you doing?" She asked me. I moved to the next one down. And then the one in the valley of ber breast. "Baby." "Yeah?" I sit back up and look at her innocently. "No more, not whilst it's this hot out." "Why?" I asked innocently. "Because my mum has to see me, and if I don't go in the sea at least once she'll want to know why." "So." "So I can't exactly go to my mother's with evidence of what we do in the bedroom all over my body." "Why?" "Because in my mums eyes I'm still an innocent child who doesn't have amazing sex with their girlfriend." I ducked down and kissed her neck. "But you're mine." Her breath hitched as I sucked softly not enough to leave a mark behind her ear. "And I want everyone to know you're mine."
"Everyone knows I'm yours, Princess." "But I want them to really know." I kissed the base of the throat. "I'll make sure they know." Her hands rubbed up the side of my body. "I'm burning," I complain. She sat up slightly and checked my shoulder, she took her cover-up and laid it over my shoulders. "Thank you." I smile again.
"Have you had enough sleep?" I ask her brushing her hair off her face. She nodded. "I'm sorry about last night." "Nothing to say sorry for." "Then, Thank you for being there for me." "We're a team remember." She nodded. We stayed like for a while gazing at each other and then we decided to go into the pool. She dived in and I slid in from the side and swam over to her she wrapped her legs around me as I held onto the edge of the pool holding the both of us up easily. We spent sometime in the water before going back to laying in the sun, she held my hand again and fell asleep. I covered her up with a thin layer so she didn't overheat and adjusted the umbrella to shield her whilst I went inside to make us a light lunch before we have to get ready for dinner.
I picked some veggies from my garden and put together a salad with some chicken. I went back out to her and she hand uncovered herself and moved the umbrella so she was exposed to the sun. "Bug." "Mhm?" "I fixed us up a salad to eat." "Okay." She sat up slowly still half asleep. We eat outside under the canopy she was more awake now. "You want more?" I asked her seeing her bowl empty. "I'm good, we'll be eating in a few hours." "If you're sure." She nodded. "Did you message Cassie?" "Yeah, asked her what she was wearing to dinner." "Did she reply?" "She asked if she could borrow a dress from my closet I said yes and that was that."
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Dinner was fine, it was almost like nothing had happened. Cassie handed me a letter, Nell was serious when she said she had to write me a letter apologising. "Nell." "Yeah." She said looking away from the thumb war she was having with Jr. "I'm sorry." "Don't let it happen again okay. We're fine. I shouldn't have left like that, last night." "It was my fault too." And that was that, over with.
We went home and I read the letter in the car, she was very apologetic and it was really sweet of her to take the time to write this to me. When we got in Nell was back to editing and I was answering emails in the office. "Liz?" I looked over my shoulder to the door way. "I'm heading to bed." She says sweetly. "Okay, I'll be up soon." "Everything okay?" "Articles." "Everything okay?" I shake my head my lip wobbling. "Princess?" She came into the office and dumped her laptop on the edge of the desk and pulled my chair away and sat on my lap. "What's wrong princess?" "they hate me." "Who?" "Everyone." "Not possible." She looked at the screen and read over it.
"Those people are stupid, they don't know anything." "I knew this would happen. I can't do this." "Liz, please." She held my wrists and I relaised I was pulling at my hair again. "Princess." "I need you to go." "No." "Yes," I shout at her but she doesn't flinch she doesn't let up. "We were happy. We are happy." "But they hate me. They hate me, they're ripping me apart. Theyre calling me a fake." "You love me." "No." "You love me how is that fake?" "Because I was with Robbie." "You can change your mind, love is fluid." "No. I can't."
NELL'S POV
"You love me, I know that." She shakes her head. I'm going to kick the writer's butt. "Lizzie." "They hate me." "But I love you. I love every single part of you. All of you." I knew this would happen I knew some sick fuck would hurt her. I turned the computer off so she wouldn't go back to reading it. "Let's go up to bed." It's one thing after another with us. I just want us to be happy no drama no one worrying about the other, just us happy in our blissful bubble.
I get her to bed and she lays in my arms. "I'm really sorry." She whispered. "Nothing to be sorry about." "I do love you." "I know, didn't doubt it for a second." "Words hurt." "I know, but we just got to remember we love each other and we know each other so their words aren't true." She nodded. "You never questioned my love for you?" "Never." "Even when they say those things." "Even when they say those things." "I don't care what they say... You love me. You put up with my moodiness and my resistance to hugs." "You're getting better at that." I smiled. I was trying for her. She likes to be close and have some sort of physical contact.
"If something like that comes up again, we delete and forget about it." "You've been deleting the comments from my Instagrams too, haven't you?" "Don't know what you mean," I say innocently, though I've been stealing her phone and deleting the horrible messages she had been getting since the interview. But I've been doing this for a while anyway. She gets so upset and it isn't right. They shouldn't get to have an opinion about her or her love life or anything.
"You know what I did today?" "What?" "Finished editing your magazine shoot for Glamour." "Really?" I nodded she sat up. I smiled at her knowing what she meant, she wanted me to show her. "I'll be back." I go to the office and grab my computer before coming back up getting the images up on my way back to her. She sat patiently perched on the edge of the bed. I sit beside her and hand off the laptop.
"This ones the cover." I tell her. "I like it. Kind of." "You look amazing." "It's your work." "It's your face." I shoot back. "And then this is being used for one of the double-page spreads"
"I really like this one." She tells me and I smiled. "I'm really glad." "You edited it right?" "Yeah, these are the finals they got sent off like an hour ago." "Like my body." "No, of course not!" I exclaimed almost shocked she even said that. "I don't edit things like that. I do lighting and filters and a pimple sometimes. I would never edit your body, Liz. It's perfect without it." "I like the dress, I'm glad you thought of it." I chose to go along with her change of subject. "Yeah, I brought the dress after the shoot actually." "You did?" "Yeah it'll be cute with a black slip under it." She nodded with me. "Do you have it here?" "No it's in New york, I left it there." She pouted. "Why wanted to steal it?" "Yeah." She laughed. "It's at home, i'm wearing it on my birthday, you can have it after." "Really?" "Yes." I chuckle at her reactions.
We eventually settle back down and I wait until she falls asleep. We're in the this routine when one of us is upset the other stays awake to make sure they sleep, unless it gets to a ridiculous hour and we physically can't keep ourselves awake anymore.