TW: Blood, gore, violence
Songs: When It's Cold I'd like to Die by Moby, Mimi Goese
Variation 15 by Benjamin Wallfisch
I can't feel my legs. I can't feel my arms. I can't feel anything. I don't even feel any pain. My vision is filled with an extreme brightness. I squint my eyes because of this and because of my confusion. I hear loud footsteps and yelling far away. I wonder what it's from. I hear horse hooves. This seems to spark my memory. I'm on an expedition, but I was fighting a titan and something went wrong? That's all I can remember. My eyesight seems to normalize, but this is only to my demise. This means my brain is clearing out of its fog and the pain becomes clear as well. My shoulder feels like it's no longer connected to my body. My abdomen feels like it's been stabbed a million times. I try to move my head and this sends a flash of pain. I am able however to see that my leg is bent the wrong way and my femur, once covered with skin as it should be, is out in the open for my eyes to see. My stomach churns and I turn my head as I throw up the food I had this morning. Where is everyone? Did they leave me to die? Then I remember something even more important. Where is Levi? Someone must be on my side because I hear ODM gear whizzing towards me.
"Sh*t," someone says. It's Levi.
He appears beside me and kneels down.
"What the hell happened to you Y/n?" He sounds worried.
I try to speak, but nothing comes out of my mouth. He looks at me with terror in his eyes, yet the rest of his face is as blank as ever. He yells something to the other squad members. Levi begins wrapping my abdomen with some cloth he has, but says, "this doesn't even cover the whole wound. Dammit." He fumbles with the cloth trying to tie it onto me. His hands are shaking.
"I'm taking you back inside the walls. You're gonna be okay. You hear me?"
I manage to finally speak and say, "you can't leave the others-"
"Of course I can. They have Eren's titan so they'll be fine."
"But I-"
He lifts me up in his arms as I scream out in pain from the movement. He was gentle, but my wounds must be so bad that it didn't matter. I didn't get to see everything wrong with me, but I'm assuming since Levi is taking me back, it must be really bad.
"I only have this horse. We don't have a wagon so you're going to have to try and get up okay?"
I don't know if I can, but I guess I have to anyway.
I nod not feeling up to speaking at all. He leans me against the horse and I reach my good arm to pull myself up as he pushes my good leg up. I again can't help but scream in pain. I barely make it up and then I lean against the horse's head. With my head hanging down I see my abdomen become red with blood. Levi also notices this as he swears again and gets on the horse quickly. We take off in a fast pace and he talks to me the entire time. I feel so tired and don't understand much of what he's saying.
"Hey Y/n you need to keep your eyes open."
I mumble something as my eyes close.
"I said keep your eyes open Y/l/n."
I strain to keep them open.
"We're almost there okay?"
Tiredness soon becomes a problem of the past as my body becomes as cold as ice. I shiver against Levi and he leans up against me trying to calm it down.
"Y/n just a little longer...don't die on me."
My teeth chatter and my body hurts. If this is what death feels like I'd believe it.
"We're here. Hey I need some help over here!" He yells this as some other scouts run over to us. I see Hange, but then after that my eyes close and everything seems to stop.
Levi's POV
"Hange you have to help her please."
"I'll see what I can do."
Hange and some medical team takes Y/n into the infirmary. I watch them take her away and I clench my fists in anger. Why did this happen? Why couldn't I protect her? She might die. I run after them realizing I can't stand not knowing what's happening. They yell at me about being there and how I don't need to see her like this. I don't care though. I need to see everything and be there so she isn't alone. I can't trust them to save her. Her face is a deathly white and blood is dripping from her stomach. Please don't die Y/n.
Reader's POV
I hear someone talking. They sound so sad. They also sound angry. I wonder who it is. I listen awhile longer and eventually realize it's Levi. Is he talking to someone? I can't tell. I move my fingers trying to wake myself up. I hear him say my name now. My eyes feel so heavy. Wake up.
"Y/n?"
Light enters my eyes now and I can make out Levi's silhouette. My vision focuses and I see him clearly now.
"Levi I'm-"
"Hey don't try to talk just yet. Hange said it might make you worse."
I don't see how that would make it worse, but I'll listen I suppose.
"They weren't sure if you'd wake up. I thought...I thought you were going to die." He looks to the side as his eyes seem to capture all of his pain. I move my hand to hold his. I try to say with my eyes that I'm okay and that we are okay. He stares back at me with a gloomy face. Then to my surprise he lays his arm on my chest, careful to not touch any wounds, and pulls me gently into a hug. I feel tears fall down my face now as I see how upset he is. I'm glad he's here and I know now that without him I would've been dead. He lays there on me and we both fall asleep at some point. My body is filled with so much pain, but where Levi lays it doesn't hurt at all. It seems as if he numbs my pain. As ridiculous as that sounds, I think it's true. In my unconscious mind, I tell Levi that I love him. When I wake up, I know I'll tell him for real. I do love him.