I had my few friends over at my house and we were lounging around the pool some in the water others out and it was a fun relaxing day. Nell was working today so I haven't seen or heard from her except for the good morning text and the breakfast delivery she sent over this morning.
She said she was going to come over after work today but then got tied up with Cassie and I understood she was here to see her family too so I couldn't be annoyed that our plans got cancelled and besides it wasn't like we were doing anything just hanging with my friends but I wanted her to get to know them better. Mackie wanted to get to know her better too and Seb and Aubry haven't even met her yet as at the party things were too busy and I didn't get the chance to introduce them and then she left before she and Seb got to talk when we were at her parent's house.
"Wheres Lover girl?" Scarlett asked sitting on the end of my chair getting my legs all wet. "At home." "Why?" "Because it's where her family is." "You're in a mood." "I'm not." She rolled her eyes at me. "We had the argument and things have just been weird between us that's all." "Maybe when everyone goes home you'll be okay again. She has a lot on at the moment." "She spoke to you?" "Briefly she asked me about a lawyer I use." Why wouldn't she ask me about that? "Did you give her the name?" "Yeah, they had a meeting yesterday afternoon." "Oh." "You didn't know?" "No, I just thought she was working, working." "You know what she's like." "I do and I'm her girlfriend if she was going to ask for help it should be from me." "She didn't ask for help." "She asked for your lawyer's name. I could have given her a lawyer." "She wanted my lawyer because Ria's parents mentioned him before." "You're so in the loop." "Hey, quit the snappiness with me." She warned and I sat up. "She's so frustrating sometimes." "I'm sure you do things that frustrate her too." "Has so said that?" "No."
"NELL!" MK swam from one end of the pool to the other before jumping on her, her white linen shirt now completely see-through and of course, she wasn't wearing a bra. She pulled the fabric off of her to help the situation. "Door was unlocked." She says coming over to me. "Oh, Ash must have left it open when she went to the store." She nodded and reached for my towel to cover herself up. "How is Cassie?" "Fine we hung out for a bit, I helped her with her homework and then we practised her dance." I nodded.
"Are you staying here tonight?" "No, I came to drop something off for you." She says going into her bag and pulling out a black book and handing it to me. I turned it the right way around and traced the lettering Lizzie's 29th Birthday <3. I went through it and there were photos from the whole day in order of their events. I laughed at a few of them I was a little wild. And she did take photos of me. "You did this?" "I do it for all the birthdays I take photos at." "I love it." She forced a smile. "Anyway, I have to go. I have a meeting?" "With who?" She rubbed her nose with her finger. "Just some guy." "Might want to change your shirt first." She looked down. "Yeah... Um. I'll call you or something." I nodded and she leaned over to peck my lips before leaving.
"That was a short visit." "She's not doing okay," I say watching her walk off. "I'll be back." I excuse myself and rush inside to find Nell she was in the walk-in upstairs changing her shirt. "Hey." "Hi," She said back smiling slightly. "Talk to me please." "I'm fine." "You're worrying me." "Just busy with work, bug." She buttoned up her fresh shirt. "Scar told me about the lawyer." "She did?" I nodded. "Is that who you're going to meet now?" She nodded adjusting the fabric in the mirror. "I don't like this vision of you." "Gee thanks for that, Elizabeth." She said, I noticed she was blinking a lot. "Nell?" She looked at me I could practically see her falling apart in front of me. "I need to go, I can't be late." "I can come with you let me throw on some clothes." "I'm okay... I'll come home tonight okay... Leave the door unlocked." "What time?" "I'm not sure, but I'll be here." "Okay." We shared a short kiss. "Are you still catching me?" I whispered to her, scared of her answer. "Always, Princess." She kissed me again slowly. "I love you." "Love you too," I replied and let her go.
"Hey, Nell?" She turned to look at me. "Thank you for the birthday book. It's amazing." "Look at the last page." She says before leaving me. I go to the last page.
"I've never been good with expressing myself especially not when the feelings are so strong and overwhelming. But I love you Elizabeth Chase Olsen, unconditionally and I hope you'll allow me to love you like this forever. Happy Birthday, Princess. I can't wait to celebrate so many more special occasions with you for all the years to come. I'll never get bored of dancing with you or kissing you or telling you I love you. You're a special woman and I hope you'll see your true worth one day, my love. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world when I'm in your arms. Love you always, your Angel
And then there was a photo of us at the party besides my cake, we both had huge goofy grins on our faces as we looked at each other. I trace her face. She does love me and she's just having a hard time right now and I need to be there to support her the same way she has supported me. I need to give her time and space to process. I forget that she's a very different person from me. She doesn't need constant affection and reassurance she needs time alone to process and when she's ready she'll come to me.
The page had other photos on it with a few short messages from the people in them. It was really sweet of her to do this. I know she says she does it for all the birthdays she takes photos at but it was still special.
I went back down to the pool with my friends and eventually, we ordered takeout and went to bed after watching a movie. I tried to stay awake for when Nell came home but my eyelids grew too heavy and I couldn't fight it any longer. She promised she'd be home so I was trusting she'd be laid beside me when I woke up.
——————
I opened my eyes and adjusted to the light coming through the window. I pushed my face into my pillow only it wasn't my pillow. "Morning, Bug." I smiled hearing her voice, she came home just like she promised, I continued to push my face into her chest suddenly feeling the urge to be close to her. "Morning. You're here." "I said I would be." I lifted my head up and puckered my lips. "Kiss. Please." I say when she just looked at me. She leaned in and kissed me softly. "How did the meeting go?" "Lizzie." She sighed. "I just want to help." "I know, I know princess." She held me tighter. "Please talk to me. I'm worried about you, Angel."
"What are your plans today?" She asked me. "Training." "Do you want to come over for dinner? Tony is cooking." "Tony?" She nodded as she sat up slightly and pulled me up too. I moved to sit across her lap and adjusted the blanket so it was still covering both of us. "Mums asked me to try so I'm trying." "You're always trying," I mumbled under my breath not liking the idea of her being around him, I mean I know she is staying in the same house as him but she avoids that house like the plague. "I have to try, bug." "Try with me," I said looking at her. She looked at me something flashed through her eyes as she contemplated her next words.
"How can they even consider letting him out. He killed her." She says. "I don't care how well behaved he is. He took her life and it's not fair. Ria can't come back if she's well behaved because she's dead and it's not fair." I cupped her cheek brushing my thumb across her high cheekbones wiping away her tears. "It's not fair." She whispered I rested her forehead against mine. "I'm sorry, angel." "I can't stand there and talk in front of him. He ruined my life." I wrapped her in my arms holding her close her face hiding away in the crook of my neck. "I know you miss her, I know it wasn't easy for you. But your life isn't ruined." I ran my fingers up and down her spine as she leaned forward on me. "I'm sorry." "Nothing to apologise for, angel," I tell her as she tried to calm herself down. "I'm always going to be here for you. To comfort you, to love you," "Can you stay home today?" She asked in a small voice, hesitation was evident in her voice, her asking that really meant she needed me. "Of course, angel." I pecked her cheek and she held me tighter. "Lazy day?" "I want to do something. When I sit I think and I get upset and then I cry and then." "Why don't we go to your house, we can chill on the beach, we can go paddle boarding and cuddle and enjoy our day?" "Stop at the coffee shop first?" "No work," I warned her she was stressed and upset she didn't need to work right now. "No, just tea." "Then that's fine." I pecked her lips.
"I'm sorry for crying on you." "Don't, I can't apologise neither can you," I tell her. She scanned my face I didn't know what she was thinking or looking for so I just smiled at her. "It'll be okay, and you don't have to do it if you don't want to." "I want to. I want him to be away forever he took her life, she was going to do so many amazing things and she couldn't do any of that because of him so I want him to have his life ruined too." "But it's killing you," I whispered. "It killed her first."
-----------
We went to her place after stopping at the coffee shop, she let us into the house as no one was supposed to be home, Cassie was at school and Tony and her mother was meant to be at the new coffee shop. But that wasn't the case.
"Anthony?" Nell called to him seeing him stumbling up the stairs bottle in hand. "You're not meant to be here." "Nor are you." She says calmly. She found my hand and tugged me behind her not knowing how Tony was going to react, last time I saw him drinking he hurt Cassie and Nell. "I was just." "Save it." She held her hand up. "Can you go to your room please?" She asked kicking her shoes off. "Nell I'm sorry." "You're not but it's whatever. You keep ruining your life." "I'm sorry." "You were doing so well for yourself Tony. You were working at the top places in Washington, why are you doing this to yourself?" "Why? Maybe because our dad died and it fucking sucks." He threw the bottle towards us but his aim was off so it missed by a long shot. I moved to be closer to Nell hiding behind her back my arms going around her waist she reach back and her hand rested on my back. "Not all of us can pretend it didn't happen. Not all of us can forget about him. Not all of us are cold heartless bitches that feel nothing. Some of us need to numb the pain with something. Some of us actually loved him."
I didn't know what Nell was going to do, was she going to shout at him, was she going to break down. "Please go to your room Tony, I need to go get towels and bathing suits." "Cold-hearted bitch." He said slower. "You never loved dad." He added. I rested my forehead on her shoulder pecking it softly. "You're incapable of love." "Tony, please." She asked again still in her calm voice that was surprising me. Tony walked away and she waited for his door to close before she turned to me. "Are you okay?" She asked immediately cupping my face, her eyes scanning me over. "I'm okay, are you okay?" "I'm fine." She told me kissing me softly. She took my hand and lead me upstairs to her room.
We got changed and got what we needed before going to the beach. She got the umbrellas out and the paddleboard. I laid our towels out whilst she did that picking a spot for us. I was still in shock about how Nell was dealing with the situation. She was oddly calm, if someone told me I was incapable of love and not loving or grieving someone I adored I wouldn't be so calm. She dumped the board and paddle beside us before pushing the umbrellas into the sand and angling them to shield me from the sun. "Suncream." "No." "Nelly, Suncream." "No, I don't need it." I still squeezed it on my hands. Whilst she was bent down sorting the umbrella stand out I snuck up behind her and wiped the sun cream on her face. "Quit it." She pushed my hands away so I moved on to her shoulders she stopped arguing with me knowing she wasn't going to win. "You're such a child," I complain about her protest. "I'm not and that's exactly why I don't need suncream on." "Everyone needs suncream, deal with it." She knelt in front of me still pouting whilst I rubbed it into her skin properly. "All done," I say pecking her pout causing her to smile.
"Need to talk?" I asked when she laid down beside me in the sun. "I just don't understand him. He had a good life and he threw it all away." "I meant about what he said?" "I'm not incapable of love, I love you. I love Cassie, I love mum, Ria, Dad, Jr, even him. So why get upset?" "It hurt you though?" She nodded and I moved to cuddle her. "You'll ruin my tan." "Sacrifice it," I told her kissing up her neck as I laid beside her. She hummed in appreciation. I got to the base of her jaw and sucked softly before nibbling at her skin. "I can sacrifice it." She mumbled helping me roll completely on top of her. Our legs fall in between each other her arms wrap around me. I knew when she kissed me the world stopped and the pain I was feeling went away so I wanted to do that for her. I wanted her to have a moment where wasn't thinking about the hearing or Ria, or her brother. I just wanted her to stop for a moment.
"I love you," I whispered to her. "I love you too, Princess." She said back, we kissed for a while, soft passion-filled kisses before my back started to feel like it was burning. She put suncream on it and then I went under the umbrella to hide from the sun. Nell rolled on her front to face me both of us laying there gazing into the eyes of each other as the sounds of the calming ocean filled our ears.
"Take me out there." I point to the water. "Okay." She agreed easily standing up. She helped me up and I kissed her again, I couldn't get enough of her lips against mine and with her being so close I had to take advantage of it. "Come on you loser." She says pulling away. "Rude." She ignored me and dragged the board to the shore. "Get on it before we're in the water." She tells me, the water tickled my feet as I walked over to her, I knelt on the board like she showed me holding the paddle and she pushed it out when it was too deep for her to walk she swam holding onto it before pulling herself on the board with me, it wobbled slightly but I used to paddle to help me balance. Nell stood up immediately and took it from me paddling us around. I looked out at the never-ending see the rocks creating caves along the coastline boats way out in the distance. The water was crystal clear and the whole thing was so calming. I look up at my girlfriend who was also lost in the scenery, I wish I could read minds. I wish I knew what she was thinking. She eventually looked down at me and smiled. I smiled back and she put the paddle down before sitting with her legs on either side of the board, I moved to mirror her position. I kicked my legs in the water, Nell doing the same we occasionally knocked each other but it didn't bother either of us.
"Have you told your mum?" "I messaged her when you were changing." I nodded. "Cassie can stay with us tonight," I tell her. She looked surprised. "I mean if he's drunk when she comes home it's safer to be with us." "I can't leave mum with him like this." "Then I'll stay here." "No, you won't." We challenged each other. "Well, Cassie is still welcome. Even if you're here, she's welcome." She nodded. "Thanks." I just smiled in return.
"Kisses for your thoughts?" "Payment first." She teased but I lent forward and she met me halfway, it was a short kiss and then I looked at her expectantly. "I'm really stressed about everything... And I know I've not been the best to you as well and I'm sorry for that." "You flew out to surprise me for valentines day and proceeded to stay until I can come home with you... You've been perfect." "I've been a bitch to you." "Yes but I haven't been that great to you either." "I'm sorry." That is all she said in return. "My life isn't always this messy." She joked.
"When we're in New York?" She nodded. "Can I stay with you?" "You don't have to ask, Bug." She says softly. "It's a new relationship I don't want to rush anything and I didn't want to just assume you'd want me there." "Who wouldn't want you there? You're the best, plus I eat real food when you're home." I smirked. "I'm going to teach you to cook." "Nooo, you cook I'll bake." "But I want to know you're taken care of when I'm not there." "I've survived 21 years without your amazing cooking, I think I'll be good every few weeks without it again."
--------
We spent the whole day on the beach in and out of the ocean. We spoke some about what is going on in her head and then we joked to lighten the mood, we kissed a lot and cuddled. When Cassie got home she joined us out here, Cassie sat in between Nell's legs her back resting against her front. Nell rested her head on her shoulder occasionally pecking her head or cheek as we spoke. It was really cute how loving she was towards Cassie, I could tell Cassie loved it too. She held Nell's hand as they sat there.
When Annabella came home we went inside for Dinner, Tony joined us but Nell kept me and Cassie close to her. Tony did look guilty and he seemed sober now. I was glad about Nell being protective of me. "Are you staying tonight, Elizabeth?" "Yes," I answer before Nell could say anything she was too distracted with helping Cassie with her homework at the island.
----------
"You're sneaky." She said as we climbed into bed. "I didn't do anything," I say innocently though I knew she was referring to me staying over even when she told me no. "Thank you for staying." "Always," I say moving my pillow into her side to lay on.
She turns the lamp out of the room flooding into darkness. "Hand please," I say and she moves her hand into mine and I find her ring and twist it around on her finger. "Nell?" "Lizzie?" "Catch me?" "Always." I smiled at the giddy feeling I got from her reply. "I pitched your name Idea, they're going for it." "That's cool." She mumbled I could tell she was tired now. "Thank you for helping." "It's what I'm here for... Well, that and kisses." I chuckled. "I love your kisses." "Good." I felt her head rest on top of mine and I smiled content with the contact I had with her. "Goodnight, Bug," she called to Cassie. "Night, Nelly," Cassie called back. "Goodnight, Elizabeth." "Goodnight, Sweetie," I called back. "Goodnight Princess." "Goodnight Angel." I continued to fidget with her ring until I fell asleep.