It seemed so surreal. None of it could be true. What The Shadow had told her wasn't true. Wendy's mind reeled as Pan pulled his shirt over her head. She hadn't realized she had been shivering. She had pulled Pan's shirt over her wet clothing, but it still didn't help. The shivering wasn't from the cold, but Wendy wasn't about to let Pan think of her as weak.
She still wasn't used to walking. She could walk, but it made her very tired. They had landed from flight awhile ago. Apparently Felix was waiting for them. Wendy didn't know what to make of Felix. She knew he hated her. He always would. He would never forgive her for playing her part in Tink's death. She didn't know why he tried to save her. She saw him when she was thrown from the edge of the cliff. She should have saw Pan. That was who she was looking for. But her gaze saw Felix. And Felix had looked at her in horror. Like he actually wanted to save her from Syrena. Like he was too late to save her.
Her mind was still numb. The old Wendy probably would have cried. Mermaid Wendy could not cry, so Wendy guessed her expression wasn't too appealing. She stared blankly as Pan carried her through the trees.
"Syrena...?" She asked carefully. She felt Pan tense and then he delicately put his forehead against the top of her head.
"We took care of it." Translation was that Pan and Felix killed her. She didn't exactly know how to feel about that. She didn't know if she should feel happy that Syrena could never hurt her again. That they now they knew the identity of the mystery person. That they avenged Tinkerbell's death.
Wendy didn't know if she should feel sad. Sad because the person that could possibly turn her back was dead. That Pan had murdered another person and yet she was still by his side.
"Pan?" They both heard Felix's voice in the darkness.
"Over here." Pan called and soon Felix's footsteps became more distinct.
Wendy didn't understand the terror she was feeling. She hid her head in Pan's chest and pushed Pan's shirt as far as it would stretch further down her thigh. She didn't want anyone but Pan to see her like this.
"Is she okay?" Felix was in front of them now. Wendy closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. Pan hugged her closer. He didn't know why he felt threatened by Felix. Maybe it was because he felt like someone would rip her out of his arms at any moment.
"Yes, she's just sleeping. I want to get her back; it's especially cold out tonight." Wendy didn't really notice the cold, but shivered slightly to play along.
"Of course." Felix replied. The three of them headed toward the camp. Along the way, Wendy started to feel anxious. Something had been nagging at her. She didn't know what it was.
"How's Rudolph?" It was like Pan could read her mind. Wendy faintly remembered him knocked out at the hut's entrance before Syrena led her to the cliffs. She remembered how scared she was. Wendy knew that something horrible was going to happen that night. Of course, she thought it would be her death. Sadly, we don't always get what we want in life.
Part of her wanted to yell at herself. Here she was, in Pan's arms. A place she used to think was a living nightmare. A place now, where she felt there wasn't a safer place. She should be thankful that Syrena chose not to kill her. She should be happy she didn't have to lose Pan.
But she wasn't. Not really.
The Shadow wasn't wrong. It couldn't be. Pan trusted it, and if he did, that meant it knew every secret, every lie, and every trick Peter Pan had up his sleeve. Wendy knew what she really was to him. She had his heart. Literally. Wendy knew that he loved her, but Wendy wasn't so sure it was genuine. He might think it was. But Wendy knew what the allure of magic and power could do to a person. Especially if that person had been a villain for as long as they could remember.
Wendy didn't see how it was going to work. No solution came to mind. How could Pan take it? How could he even look at her without regret for what he had to do. What were they going to do? How could they still be together?
She forced herself to not think about it further. Instead, she thought about what The Shadow had told her. She thought about the mission he gave her. Her one chance to save Pan from his own downfall.
"You can still save him. The hourglass drains quicker when it senses Pan's greed. You must help him help himself. The only thing you can do now is slow the sand down before it drains itself completely."
"How? How can I do that?" Her small voice had asked it.
"I'll tell you, but first you have to do something for me."
"What do I have to do?"
Wendy was snapped out of the memory with Felix's voice.
"Do you want me to help you carry her?" She opened her eyes slightly noticing that they were at the front door of Pan's hut.
"No. I've got her....just...could you help open the door?" Pan asked and Wendy flushed in embarrassment. Was she really that heavy?
"Sure." Felix opened the door and Pan ducked his head in. Once they past the beads hanging from the ceiling, Wendy unfolded herself from his chest and hopped out of his arms.
"Why didn't you tell me I was heavy, I would have walked." Wendy growled angrily at him. Pan raised an eyebrow.
"Because you weren't. It was a two hour walk, my arm fell asleep." Wendy sighed and walked over to the mirror.
She looked horrible. It wasn't the fact that her hair had erupted in curls all around her head or the fact that she had so much mud in it, but the fact that her eyes looked so dead. She looked like a living, breathing zombie. Like all the fun and all the life had been drained out of them. Why on Earth had Pan been kissing her looking like this?!
Pan appeared behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He laid his cheek on her head mocking her height. "You have no idea how much I missed you." His tone was so heartbreaking, it made her frown. If she heard him say this a month ago she probably would have laughed in his face. She didn't understand why he picked her.
"You should go check on Rudolph." Wendy said in a monotone voice she hated.
"I'm not going anywhere." Pan's face changed from sad to enraged. It wasn't directed at her, but to himself. Wendy sighed.
"Pan, I just need a moment. By myself. I'm fine. I'll be fine." Wendy said slowly. She tried to stare at only her reflection, but occasionally glanced at him to see his expression. It was blank. Processing. Wendy wished she hadn't of said it, but she needed to be alone and fix this awful thing she called a face.
"Okay...." He turned slowly, waiting for her to call him back into the room. When she didn't, he took bigger steps until he was out of the hut.
As soon as the door shut Wendy closed her eyes. She concentrated until she felt the familiar electric tingle and felt the cloth in her hands. She quickly slid on the underwear and went for the brush. It was a brutal battle and it took several minutes before Wendy finally was able to get rid of the tangles, but when she did she wished for a toothbrush and brushed her teeth. She thought about wishing herself some pajamas. Something that wasn't Pan's shirt. But then Wendy took a deep breath and knew she couldn't take the shirt off. It felt so comfortable and the green fabric seemed to cling to her. It seemed silly to her, but for a moment it was like he hadn't left the hut.
By the time she was done cleaning herself up, Pan slowly opened the door.
"How is he?" Wendy asked in concern.
"He's fine, Syrena used a lot of sleeping powder. He'll be fine, he just woke up yesterday." Wendy nodded slowly. She didn't know what she would do if anyone else got hurt because of her. She wouldn't be able to take it. Not after what happened to Tink.
"Hey," Wendy looked up startled that he was right next to her now. One hand stroked her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand. She remembered when she found out she hated him again. On the beach at Skull Rock. She hated him. Wendy finally realized why.
He knew the one thing that could tear their relationship to pieces. He knew, and he didn't tell her. But there was not enough anger in the world that wouldn't break when he touched her. Right then, she couldn't remember why she was upset. She just felt warm all over.
"I know you're scared. You don't think it's over. But Wendy, Felix and I ended it. She can't hurt you anymore." He promised.
Wendy looked down from his gaze, "I know that."
"Then why are you so scared?" He asked lifting her chin so she had to look at him. Those green eyes were Wendy's personal hell. There was lots to be scared of. The fact that she would forever be a mermaid. She didn't know how long she could go in human form. She felt the ocean calling her and, at the moment, she could resist it. She knew though, that it wouldn't always be that way. Another reason was The Shadow. What it asked her to do...Wendy didn't know if she could. She couldn't die now. Not after everything she had been through. And then the biggest reason of all: if she couldn't be with Peter Pan anymore.
"It's just that it doesn't seem like a happy ending. I feel like something big is coming." Wendy wasn't lying. She didn't feel at ease here. She wanted nothing more than to leave Neverland. She had more than her fair share of near death experiences. The one thing holding her here was Pan. And according to The Shadow, Pan could never leave the island.
"Nothing's coming, love." Pan crushed her in a protective hug. "I won't let anything hurt you ever again."
Wendy nodded. She started to feel tired and her vision began to blur like it did when she was about to pass out. She wobbled and Pan gripped her tighter.
"Are you okay?" He asked slightly worried.
"Can we go to sleep? I'm so..." It felt like all the stress was hitting her all at once.
"Yeah, come here." He gently tucked her into the furs and climbed in next to her. She did what felt routine and put her cheek against the inside of his neck.
"I love you." She whispered with all the agony she felt melting into it. All the hurt since she learned what her heart meant to him.
Wendy fell asleep before she could hear his reply.
~~~~~~~~
The sun was shining too brightly for Neverland, but Wendy hardly noticed. She laid sprawled out on the dewy meadow grass, her head on Pan's lap as he weaved daisies into her golden hair. She smiled. It seemed like the butterflies in her stomach were about to overcome her. Pan didn't even notice her constant stare, he just simply wove flower after flower into the loose strands of her hair.
"Pan?" She asked looking up at him. He finished up on his flower and smiled down at her.
"Yes?" His green eyes shimmered like liquid moving in the sun. It was one of the things Wendy envied him for. Why couldn't she have pretty eyes?
"Do you see a future with me?" She asked. She didn't understand why she asked the question. Something beyond this perfect place and time was bothering her. Pan didn't answer right away. He looked at her confused. And then it looked like he pieced it together. His expression was sad for a split second. Before Wendy could notice he replaced his frown with a smile.
"Of course I do." He answered easily. Wendy closed her eyes as he began running his fingers in her hair. She realized that he had begun to braid it around the flowers.
Wendy sighed, "What's our future like?"
"Well," Pan thought for a moment. "We live on Neverland together. We go on adventures, fly. We do whatever we want. I will do whatever you want." Wendy should have felt happy, but something twisted in her gut.
"What if I don't want to stay on Neverland?" Pan hesitated again, but he held her head still with the braid so she could not see his reaction.
"Then we can go wherever you want to go." Wendy beamed at this.
"Really?" It seemed like the words that he had spoken couldn't be true.
"Really."
The afternoon seemed to go by so fast. She laid on her back with Pan laid down on the opposite side; their heads almost touching. The sun felt so good to Wendy. It was always so cold on Neverland. The sun felt like a gift. She loved the feeling of the warmth on her skin. The only time she ever felt like that was when her family used to go to the beach a long, long time ago.
Wendy felt it immediately when the sun went down behind the trees. Her eyes snapped open and the first thing she saw was the dark blue sky of twilight. A cold burst of air ripped through the meadow. It caused the purple wildflowers to sway dangerously. The wind felt like it was cutting right into Wendy's skin.
"Pan, we should go." Wendy turned around to face him, but he was gone.
A sudden fear Wendy couldn't explain washed over her. Her security was gone and Wendy was alone surrounded by trees in the darkness. Just a child afraid of the dark.
"Pan?" She called half hysterically. She half expected someone to come rushing from the trees and run after her. She became so scared she started to shake.
"PAN!" She was almost crying. She was sure if she had to call his name one more time she would.
"WENDY!" Pan's voice came from behind her. She spun, but he was no where in sight. His voice was scary. She had never heard something so chilling. His voice was full of agony and danger. For a moment Wendy didn't know if she had the courage to go looking for him.
But it was Pan. She had to.
And then Wendy was running blindly into the forest. If it was anyone else, anyone in the world that she was in this situation with, she wouldn't have gone. She couldn't fathom her love for Pan. Sometimes it hurt to think about.
It was worse in the jungle. The feeling like someone with an axe was coming to kill her only grew stronger with every passing moment she had stepped through the trees. She couldn't see three feet in front of her. She wanted nothing more than to go back to the sunny meadow. To the lovely feeling of Pan's fingers running through her hair.
"WEN-" His voice was cut off by his cry. Wendy could believe what she was hearing. Pan was in pain. Physical pain. And somehow, that fear wasn't as strong as before. It didn't vanish, but it was replaced by a new drive. She had to find Pan. She had to help him.
She knew he was in front of her. Somewhere out in the distance, but Wendy knew she was going in the right direction. She forced her feet forward, ignoring all her fears. She struggled to run faster, worried if she couldn't get there in time.
A reflex reaction triggered Wendy's imagination. It made her think of all the things she could possibly walk into. She thought about all the pain she would go through if what she found was Pan dead. It would make her grieving for Tink seem like she stubbed her toe. She could not lose him, after every devastation she went through on the island she wouldn't be able to pick up the pieces.
Wendy's heart leaped into her throat when she found him. He was lying still on the forest floor. He wasn't moving.
"Pan! PAN!" She climbed on top of him shaking his shoulders frantically. She couldn't care less if she was giving him whiplash.
His eyelids fluttered slightly and a moan escaped his lips. "Wend-?" His voice broke off as he winced and grabbed the front of his shirt.
"Pet- Pan," Wendy corrected herself. "Pan, what's happening?" She grabbed his face with her hands. She needed to hold on to him. Wendy needed physical proof he was in front of her.
"Time....there's no...time." He winced again, his fingers almost tearing the material of his shirt. His knuckles were white. Wendy looked at him in fear.
"What do you mean time? Pan, please, what's wrong?" Wendy started to cry. She didn't know what to do. He was in pain and she didn't know how to help him. She didn't know what was happening to him.
"The sand....has run out. The hour...glass...is empty." Wendy's world was caving in on itself.
"No! That's not possible! The sand, it was still there when I made the deal with The Shadow. Time, it can't be gone!" Wendy grabbed his bone-white fingers and clutched them for dear life.
Pan groaned again and gripped her fingers so hard her circulation was getting cut off.
"Tell me what to do. How can I make the pain go away?" She sobbed lowly, but he heard it. Pan slowly opened his eyes and stared at her face like he had never seen it before. His eye color made her gasp. The beautiful Peridot-colored eyes had gone almost black. It was like all the life had been drained from them and now Pan was only surviving by instinct.
"You can help me." He spoke clearly now, but something was wrong with his expression.
"Tell me." She repeated. Her gaze locked onto his and then she realized how wrong the situation was about to turn.
"Pan don't-" Wendy could suddenly feel it. Pan's fingers twisted inside her as he ripped her heart from her chest. She went numb all over and just watched her glowing red heart pulse in his hand. Her emotions were gone. Her loving him was gone. All she did was watch as he pushed her heart into himself.
And then Wendy Darling didn't exist anymore.
~~~~~~~~
Wendy shot up in bed and clutched her chest. She pressed her fingers to where her heart was supposed to be. She sat there for a couple minutes just feeling her heart starting to slow it's wild beating.
"Just a dream." She whispered to herself. "Only a dream." But Wendy couldn't stop her shaking. She thought back to the dream she had when Tink had first told her about her relationship with Felix. Wendy had dreamt she was Tinkerbell. She had dreamt that Pan had killed her too. She matched the magnitude of how frightened she was of both dreams. This dream was a million times worse than the other.
It didn't help that what happened in the dream could actually become a reality. She had his heart. She was his key for an everlasting life. It made it worse that he was right there next to her. Part of her wanted to go back to sleep and cuddle back up to him. She wanted to wake him up and talk about it. But what Wendy wanted was just want. It couldn't happen. If it did, she couldn't do what she had to do. She couldn't complete the task The Shadow had given her.
Wendy looked down at Pan's sleeping face. It was the middle of the night, so of course he would still be asleep. Wendy still couldn't believe it. Every time she had slept next to him, he had always woken up first. She would go to sleep with his arms wrapped around her middle and then wake up to an empty hut. She had never seen him asleep.
His face was relaxed. It had no traces of any sort of stress. His hair was tousled in such an adorable way Wendy could hardly stand it. His eyes were closed allowing his dark eye lashes to gently brush his pale cheeks. He was lying on his stomach with the furs hugging his waist. Wendy could see all the muscles in his back. She wanted to trace his shoulder blades with her fingers, but forced herself out of bed. She needed air and some space. She couldn't bare to look at him one more second without picturing him ripping her heart out all over again.
She stepped outside to find it raining. The sky was black and sinister looking just like in the dream. Wendy wasn't sure if she preferred it better inside. She took a step forward from the doorstep and her boot hit something. Wendy looked down to see a vile with a letter attached to it. She picked it up cautiously and read the note.
This will buy you the time to do what I asked.
Wendy knew exactly who had sent it to her, and she knew what she had to do.
She reentered the hut as quietly as she could and gathered up what she needed to take with her. She put on her black leather boots that were still sitting in the wardrobe with Pan's belongings. She thought about her dream, and decided to dress for the occasion. Black was her safest bet. She had to blend into the night. She wished up some black leather pants and black fitting chest armor.
She chose her weapon carefully. A bow and arrow seemed like a good option, but she remembered the enemy she faced, and not a simple arrow would take it down. The dagger was weapon she had felt comfortable with. It fit right into her palm. The only problem with that was she needed a bigger blade. So they last option sat leaning against the hut's wall. Pan's sword gleamed in the darkness of the hut.
Wendy stared at it scared. She had never dared to wield the blade. It scared her, but not for the obvious reason. She was scared of the power. She had always tried to stay away from it after she had her first experience with her magic.
It didn't seem like she had the strength in herself to hold it.
She took the lid off the vile of powder and walked toward Pan slowly. She took his face in one last time before she tipped the vile over his face.
"I'm so sorry." Wendy whispered softly over him as she watched the sleeping powder seep into his skin. It will by her enough time to end all of their suffering.
"I have to do this." Wendy turned and grabbed the sword before sprinting into the jungle.