"Thank you for coming," Cassie said showing me around the school. "Of course, show me the photography studio." "You're a nerd." But she pulled on my wrist and dragged me down the halls.
"My English teacher is in there." "Aren't you coming in?" "We're not allowed. I'll meet you in the courtyard." "Lizzie is in the parking lot... She's driving us home." "You're coming over." "Nope, you and mum are coming over for dinner again." "You've not been to the house this week." "I've been busy, I've had stuff at the studio to deal with and-" "You've been staying with Lizzie instead of your family because you hate us." "Not true." "Then why are you spending so much time with her." "Because she's my friend." "And I'm your sister." "And I flew 3000 miles to come to your parent's evening that mum could have come to. Is that not enough?" "I went from having my sister there every day, to you going away." "I went to school." "After that." "I came home." "You were so distant you might as well left then!" "I lost my best friend." "And I lost my sister." "Go wait in the car," I tell her going into the classroom. I pulled myself together quickly and greeted her teacher.
"Miss Hastings, it's lovely to see you again." "Mrs Macavoy, Cassie loves your class," I say with a smile on my face as I shook her hand and to my seat.
Cassie was excelling in her classes and she is the perfect student. I'm glad to know my sacrifices are giving her the upper hand in life, she has so much potential and this school is pushing her to reach it and she's going to get into the best schools and get the best jobs and she'll be amazing. I was so proud of her.
I went out to the car and Nell and Lizzie were sitting there with serious faces, Lizzie had her sunglasses on so I couldn't exactly read what she was feeling right now. I climbed into the car. "I'm really proud of you Cass, you're doing so well. Your Biology teacher said you should apply for the summer programme. I think we could swing it if you want to. I can help with your application." I offer, looking over my shoulder at her. "Whatever. I want to go home." "We're going to Lizzie's." "I don't want to." "Well, that's where we're eating so." I looked at Lizzie and a tear slides down her cheek, I reach over and wipe it away. "Liz?" She shakes her head.
"Crybaby." my head shoots in Cassie's direction. "Is she going to drive or what?" "Dail the attitude back by a 1000 and don't talk to her like that," I warn her and she rolls her eyes at me. "Do you want me to drive?" I asked. "No, I'm okay." She starts the car up and drives to her place, Cassie wasn't happy.
"I need a minute," Lizzie says and I nod. "Can Cass use one of the bedrooms to change?" "Yeah of course." She forced a smile and went into her office. "Upstairs." I point and she stomps on each step. "What did you say to her?" "Nothing." "Nothing? She wouldn't get upset over 'nothing' so what happened?" "Nothing." "You need to stop lashing out at her, she's done nothing wrong. She's been nothing but nice to you since she met you. You were obsessed with her like a week ago." I point out. "I changed my mind." I cocked a brow. "What did you say to her?" "Nothing." "Get changed mum will be here soon." I threw her bag that I picked up from mum earlier on the bed and left her alone.
I knocked on the office door before letting myself in. "Princess?" "I'm fine." She wiped her face dry with her palms. "You're not." I wrapped her in my arms. "I'm sorry." She cried into my chest, I rubbed circles on her back calming her. "What happened?" "I'm taking you away from her." "No, you're not." "She said I am." "We argued before I sent her to the car, this is on me." I reason with her. "I've been to LA more since meeting you than I did before, if anything you're making me see her more." I peppered her head with kisses. "I'm sorry she upset you."
The gate rang. "That's your mum. Can you let her in whilst I go clean myself up?" I nodded and wiped under her eyes with my thumb. "You're perfect." I pecked her lips softly and then again until I kept them against hers moving in sync with each other only to be interrupted by the gate again. "Cassie's in the room next to the twins." She nodded and we both went our own ways. I put the code in so the gate opened letting mum in and then locked it back up before going to the door.
"Hi." I greeted her. "Hi, thank you for having us over again." She said as she came in. I took her coat and purse putting them away for her before leading her through to the lounge. "Cassie and Lizzie are just getting ready," I say sitting down in the corner. "Okay." Mum looked around like she did the other night taking it all in. "So there's this science summer programme thing running at Stanford, it's a two-week programme and Cassie's teacher suggested us signing her up to it." "Sounds good." "Yeah, it's $3500." "We can't afford it." "I could talk to Jr, see if between us we could figure it out," I suggest. "I have some savings." "They're your savings." "This programme could really help her get into a good school." "You got into a good school without the private education and extra programmes." "And I lasted three weeks." "That wasn't on you." "I left," I say bluntly. "I did it, it was on me." "I'm not having this argument with you." "Then don't." I shrug.
"Can I get you a drink?" I asked her changing the subject. "A soda water please." I nodded and stood up passing Lizzie on the way through the hall. I could tell mum was already in a bad mood and so was Cassie so maybe tonight wasn't the best time to tell them about Lizzie and me. I should have told them Tuesday night at dinner, they were both happy then. "We can cancel." "I don't want to." She forced a smile. "You're upset," I observe. Her arms wrap around my waist. "That parties tomorrow, have you picked out what you're wearing." I rolled my eyes at her lame way to change the subject. "Nothing." "Now that's something I'd like to see." She whispered against my lips and I leant in kissing her. "I'm borrowing a dress." "Oh you are, are you?" "Yes, please and thank you," I say peppering her face with kisses.
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We were sat at the dinner table eating in silence the only thing filling the air is our appreciative moans over the food. Lizzie was an amazing cook, everything she made me reminded me how much I love food. I had one hand rested on Lizzie's leg holding one of her hands. I wanted to comfort her knowing she was upset. Plus I was kind of nervous and I needed the comfort myself.
Mum and Cassie came over for dinner Tuesday and I chickened out on telling them about Lizzie and me. I got all worked up and in my head about it. And I'm doing it again, I mean Cassie clearly isn't happy with Liz and me being friends never mind more than that. I didn't want her to explode on Lizzie because then I have to pick a side and I hate picking a side. Liz is my girlfriend but Cassie is my sister and it's a difficult situation. But Lizzie deserves me to tell them about us, they're my family. The worse that's going to happen is they'll be surprised I'm with a celebrity. Because it's the complete opposite to me. Her life is so public and I'm not. I mean I'm getting all worked up over telling my mum I have a girlfriend that's how private I am.
"I went to see dad on Monday," I say randomly. Mum coughed and looked up at me. "You did?" "Cleaned it up a little." "That's nice, sweetie." I nodded and spooned rice into my mouth, Lizzie squeezed my hand gently supporting me. Mum was waiting for me to keep talking. "Lizzie came with me." I highlighted and Cassie scoffed. I looked over at her concerned. This is going to be awful. "Really?" Mum was shocked. I nodded. "We spoke a little." "What did you speak to him about? Did you tell him about the clothing brand you're photographing? He'd be proud of that." "I didn't actually, it completely slipped my mind." I frown and pout, I should go talk to him about that. "I told him about a girl I'm seeing, dating... I told him about my girlfriend." I say deciding on the right words and putting my fork down. "I told him about my girlfriend," I repeated more clear and confident. "Girlfriend?" Cassie questioned. She had already put the pieces together. "That's nice sweetie, what's her name." "Mum?" "Yes."
We made eyecontact. "I'm in a relationship with Lizzie. Lizzie and I are together." She raised her eyebrows and looked between us. I gazed at Lizzie and she was chewing her inner cheek. It felt like forever before mum spoke. "Don't hurt her." She warned. "I won't," Lizzie said. "I'm talking to my daughter." She says to Lizzie. "I wouldn't." "You have the tendency to just leave."
"What's that supposed to mean?" "You take off when things get hard for you that's all." My frown deepens as the anger sets in, I could feel Lizzie's thumb gliding over my knuckles to soothe me, I clenched my jaw waiting for my mum to start speaking again. "Ria died, you left. When people moved on and you didn't you left. Your dad got sick you left." "I didn't leave when dad got sick," I say sharply. "I was already away and I was setting up our business in New York. I didn't leave. He told me to stay there!" "You left mentally, you checked out. Dad died" "I was there! I was there! Don't even try and tell me I left because I was fucking there! I was there. I woke up laying in my dead father's arms. So screw you." "You left after when we all still needed you." "I have a life mum away from LA." "Because you chose to leave." "Because I can't breathe in that house." "It's your home." I shake my head. "My home is in New York in my apartment." "Because you chose to leave. All I'm saying is don't leave her when things get hard for you."
"I'm going on a walk." "There you go again." "This is exactly why I don't talk to people," I say standing up letting go of Lizzie's hand. I go into the kitchen and calm down. I felt familiar arms wrap around my waist and soft kisses litter my exposed back. I hold her hands. "They're getting their things together." I nodded. "What can I do?" I turned into her arms and cupped her beautiful face in my hands. "Pretend you didn't see this," I say before walking away and meeting my mum in the hallway. Rage took over me. How could she be so selfish and ruin this moment? It was a big deal for me to even call someone my girlfriend never mind telling her! And she threw it back in my face and brought up things that didn't even happen, well not like she's implying them to have happened like.
"How dare you!" I say and she looked at me. "How dare you do that to me?" I bit my lip to keep my tears in. "I told you something so important and you turn it into a lecture and a fight and dismissed my news." "Nell." "No. I'm talking, you're going to listen to me for once in my fucking life you're going to listen to me!" "Baby." I pulled my arm out of Lizzie's grasp and hold my hands up telling her not to touch me without words. I was never good with physical contact and when I was upset it's when I really didn't enjoy it. "I do everything I can for this family. I sacrifice so fucking much to give everyone every single piece of me. I sold my studio so she could go to school. I gave Tony all my savings to pay for rehab. I turn down jobs. I shut my studio for months to be home with you all to help you through it! I work stupid amounts of hours to support us like I'm the fucking mother because I know how much pain you're in. And do you want to know how I know how much pain you're in? Because I'm in pain too, tons of fucking pain and It's soul-crushing and you're my mum and I never want you to feel like this so I try my best to take away the stress from you. I didn't fucking leave. I was dying when Ria died. Dying. I want wanted to stop it all but I didn't because I didn't want anyone to feel the pain I was in over losing someone. How fucking selfish of me to fight and not fucking leave like I apparently do all the time. I stayed in New York because my father asked me to. Because he wanted to give me a fucking chance in life and not waste away in a stupid coffee shop that I have no passion for! I came home when he was really sick. I stayed longer than I could because you all wanted me to and needed me. I stayed up with Cassie every night until she finished crying and fell asleep. I ran three fucking locations as well as the studio whilst I was here despite feeling like I was drowning in grief myself! I fucking STAYED! I stayed how dare you tell me I didn't? Sorry, my grief didn't look like you wanted it to. My bad, let me go cry by his grave and pray to God to do the impossible and bring him back. Let me stay in bed and waste my life letting the pain consume me." I took a breath. "I told you I had a girlfriend and you didn't even care! You know how hard it is for me to let people in, you know that and you tell me not to hurt her like I'm some kind of abuser or manipulative bitch? The least you could have done is pretended to be happy for me for at least an evening! fuck you!" I shout at her.
"Eleanor Wren Hastings. How dare you speak to me like that?" "How dare I? Because I took a step today and you pushed me off the fucking staircase. I didn't even want to tell you. I didn't want to come here. I didn't want to be with you, around you looking at you with that stupid look on your face!" "What look?" "Like I ruined your fucking life. I didn't ask to look like him. I'm sorry." "Nell that's not true." "You can't look me in the eyes for longer than 5 seconds. You keep me busy when I'm here. So you don't have to look at me and see me." She shakes her head. "I tried today. I tried. And no it wasn't elegant or the perfect way to tell you but I did my best and for you to suggest I would hurt her in any way then you clearly don't know me!" Lizzie held my wrist again. "Baby come on let them go home we can talk about this tomorrow." She spoke softly and quietly.
"Fuck you," I say to my mum before walking out of the hall through the house and out into the garden. I lay on one of the pool chairs and cover my face with my hands and let out my emotions.
I tried today. I really tried. It may not seem like a big deal me telling her I was seeing Lizzie but it was. She knew it was and she threw it back in my face and got mad at me about everything. I didn't realise I was doing such a sucky job at being a daughter. And I did it all in front of Lizzie oh my gosh. She's going to think I'm a psychopath.
"Angel?" I held my breath to stop my sobs. "What can I do?" "I need you to just go back inside for a while." "Nell." 'Please Lizzie. Just go." She didn't say anything so I assumed she went back inside, I tried to hold back my sobs but it was hard when it was all so overwhelming. I feel a weight on my body and I move my hands to see Lizzie laid there her head resting on my chest not looking at me. "You never leave me alone when I'm upset like this. So I'm not either." She says simply not looking at me. "I'm here." She whispered and I took some calming breaths before laying my hand on her back. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that."
"You've never left me," She says and I hold her that little bit tighter. "Even when I hurt you, you stayed." I closed my eyes the tears slipping down the side of my face. "You couldn't hurt me if you tried." She interlocked our fingers.
"I'm going to go home." "But your brother's party. And I have meetings this weekend for the Facebook thing." "I know." "So you have to stay." "You can stay, I'm going to go to New York, get on with work." "Nell." "She thinks I leave then I'll leave." "But you don't." "I need space." "Have space here, it's a big house. It's a big city. We can sleep in separate rooms we can eat at different times." "It's not you, I need space from, baby." "I know, I just don't want you to go because it means we won't see each other for a few weeks." "We can facetime and text" "It's not the same and you know it." I could hear her pout.
"Eleanor." I sighed and looked away from the person that was calling my name. Lizzie sat up. "She needs time." "I'm happy for you, both of you and I hope to see you tomorrow at the party," Mum says and I squeeze my eyes shut. "I'm sure your father would approve of her Nelly bear." I bit my lip harshly tasting the metallic taste of my blood. "I'm really proud of the steps you're taking and I'm sorry if I've hindered that progress."
"Make her go," I whispered to Lizzie. "She's leaving, Angel." I sit up to hold Lizzie close to me. "You want to finish dinner?" I shake my head. "Are you hungry?" I asked her realising she probably didn't eat that much either. "No, I just want cuddles, it's been an emotional day." She buries her head in the crook of my neck and kisses me gently. "Cuddles are a must," I mumbled as I stand up her legs locked around my waist. I take us inside and she climbs down. We both clear away the dinner plates and decide to clean in the morning.
When we get in the bedroom I strip off and stay in my underwear. I wash my face and braid my hair before climbing into bed. Lizzie eyed me up. "No PJs tonight?" She quirked a brow. "To tired. Cuddles now please." I say making grabby hands at her. "So sexy yet still a fucking child." She chuckled taking her clothes off. "Hurry," I complain, she ditches the PJs too and climbs on top of me, I pulled the covers over us before resting my hand on her back and running my fingers up and down her spine, her skin as soft as silk. She moved one of her legs between mine slightly bent, she hummed softly. "You okay baby?" She nodded. "I feel so close to you." She whispered. "That's because you're laid on top of me like a sack of potatoes." "Rude." She says pushing on my chest to hold herself up to look at me. "A very beautiful sack of potatoes." I joke with her and she chuckles at me before leaning in to kiss me.
It heats up pretty quickly. Our hands roamed each other's bodies. "Baby, as much as I love making out with you, we already have no clothes and I don't trust myself with you looking like this," I say caressing the side of her body. "Thank you." She says smiling shyly at me. "I didn't do anything." "For just knowing I'm not ready and not judging me for it." "Always, Princess." I peck her lips again before she laid back down. I wasn't going to pressure her into anything. I know she's worried about it and I understand. I want her to be comfortable and enjoy it when it happens.
"What are we doing about tomorrow?" "I guess we'll go." "Does this mean you're staying until Monday?" "Yes." "Thank you." She kissed my collar bone. "But you have to take me for ice cream on Sunday after your meeting." "Deal." I smiled. "Date night." "Date night." I agreed. "I start my training for Avengers next week." "How are you feeling about it?" "my body is going to be fucked because I don't work out." "No, you just watch me instead." "Not my fault my girlfriend is incredibly hot and strong." "You just got lucky I guess." I teased. "I did."
"When are you in New York again?" "A month from the 26th." "I'll keep my schedule clear that week, that way I'm all yours." "Yeah?" "Yeah." "Can you do that?" "Perks of being my own boss." "Are you coming here for my birthday? My sisters are flying out." "I wouldn't miss your birthday!" "You did last year." "Yeah but last year I didn't get to kiss you." "So you're using me." "Completely." We both laugh at my silliness. "Can you come with my sister?" What was she on about? "They're coming the day before everyone else." "Everyone else?" "Marvel lot... We're having a party, a little like yours." I nodded. "I can do that." "Yeah?" "Yeah, I get to wake up with you on your birthday that way." She looked up at me with a soft smile. "You're too good to me." I pecked her lips again before moving her up my body so her head fell more in the crook of my neck than on my chest.
Her breath hitched as our bodies rolled against each other. "If I get that reaction from simple things, I can't wait until I get to make you feel so good, Princess," I whispered to her smirking to myself. "Sleep well, my princess," I say when I realise she's too flustered to come back with a witty comment like she normally would. "Good night, My Angel."