Jen's POV
"Josh Hutcherson and Jennifer Lawrence have broken up! Sources confirm that the couple were not built to last, and Jennifer actually used Josh for the publicity! This is crazy, listen in for more after the-"
Josh flicks off the television before they say anything more. It blares through the house and happened to be on that channel, and of course, they were talking about us. It has been 20 minutes and I haven't spoken yet. We have stood silently in the kitchen, thinking all of this over.
"Josh."
"Jen."
We speak simultaneously, and I shut my mouth, gesturing for him to speak.
"We can get through this, I know we can." He whispered, tears shining in his eyes.
"Then what? We see yours and Claudia's child every week, it may even come down to you moving in with her." I buried my face in my hands.
"No, it won't. Listen, Jen-" Josh made a sound of choking on his tears, and it nearly broke my heart, but he managed to continue, "if...if it makes you happy...I can just leave and she can be with the other guy, Roger. He could be the baby's father figure and they would be happy and so would we."
But I could see in Josh's eyes he was lying. That it would kill him not being able to raise his own kid. Not see him grow up. His own child would grow up not even knowing that Josh Hutcherson was his real father, not even knowing that something of his own face would resemble Josh's.
"I couldn't do that to you." I said, and it took me a moment to realise what had to be done.
"Jen-" Josh was about to have a long speech about how much he needed me, but I cut him off.
"You need to be with Claudia and the baby." I said, sniffing although no tears were running down my face.
"What about us?" He asked, putting a hand on my arm. A friendly gesture. But Josh and I weren't just friends, and we couldn't ever be.
"We don't mean anything," I shook my head, laughing and crying, "compared to this baby. We really are nothing."
He looked at me, surprised a little. His hand fell from my arm, and he barely looked at me.
"And you...you will just be with Alex?" He whispered. I was shocked he would even mention Alex in this moment. A little offended, but I knew he was asking this because he worried about me.
"Maybe." I confessed, gulping.
"Oh. I should've known. First it was Nick, then it was me, now it's Alex." Josh laughed sadly.
"Josh..." I said, confused. Why was he thinking about this? Everything that's happened today and that's still first on his mind.
"Don't bother. I'm going to go back to Claudia's." He said, grabbing his jacket.
"Back to Claudia's?" I asked, letting my jealousy get the best of me.
"Yes. Before you came in here for no reason, I had just got back from Claudia's house. That was when she told me about the baby, about the tests. I promised her I would stick with her, that was unless you couldn't handle it. But now I have your answer, I'm going to go live happily ever after with her." Josh glared at nothing in particular; then walked out with his keys in his hand.
I stood there, feeling a sense of regret and anger. I guess he trusted I would let myself out, but I felt too sad to step out of here. Instead, I found my way to the lounge room. It was untouched, DVD's in a collection. I remember when he told me he kept movies just for me. I felt anger coarse through my veins. Before I knew what I was doing, I had reached the DVD's set nicely and was throwing them around, knocking things over. I found a glass and poured some red wine in it, then walked to his bedroom.
I sat on the bed and started drinking it quickly, letting the remains that didn't quite reach down my throat spill onto his blankets and sheets.
"Oops." I smiled to myself, feeling like some sort of psycho. I was, a little.
I heard a beep and turned around to see Josh's phone sat on the pillow. He had left it. I couldn't...could I? My head was spinning as I reached for the phone. I remembered his pass-code for his phone. We exchanged each others one night when we...when we were dating. I typed it in and went onto messages. Before I looked, I questioned what I was doing. Was I going mad? Boy-crazy? I was hurt and upset, that's an excuse, right?
It was from Claudia. Maybe Josh wasn't at her house yet. Maybe he was never going to her house. I feel my throat go dry as I read the message.
"Why did you walk out on me? I was just trying to tell you as it is. Jennifer is not in our way anymore, and I don't think the baby should grow up knowing you and her had something. I'm not asking you to erase her from your memory, just slowly stop talking to her. Josh, it's her or me."
I dropped the phone, covering my mouth with both hands.
I had done all this, and meanwhile Josh was leaving Claudia because he didn't want to follow by her rule...to stop seeing me.
I was too shocked to move. The door slammed shut and there was silence. He was walking into the room I practically destroyed.
I waited there, sat on the bed, trying to breathe quietly. There was a sudden crash and then loud footsteps up the stairs. I bit my lip, scared and frozen. I heard mumbling. Josh's voice. He was cursing over and over.
His steps came closer. Finally, he was standing in the doorway. Shadowed. He had stopped and was definitely looking at me. There was a long silence that passed between us.
"Jen?" He spoke softly.
I forced myself to reply.
"Yes?"
"A different love." He said with a smile in his voice.
"It is." I felt myself smiling too, but I was unsure why.
The next thing I knew, he was hovering above me, kissing me passionately, his hand holding mine tightly. What was to come? Well, everything I ever wanted.
*
His arms were wrapped around me, my head buried in his chest. Our breathing slowed, content. I was letting out a little laugh every few seconds, and Josh eventually smiled and looked at me.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"I'm just so happy." I laughed again, feeling like an idiot.
"Not as happy as I am." He stroked my hair.
"I doubt that." I put a hand on his bare chest.
"Trust me, Jen. I have waited for this moment for a long time." He laughed.
"How long?" I looked into his eyes.
"Let's think here," He closed his eyes for a moment, "I think the moment I met you."
"So you didn't know anything about me and you wanted me in bed?" I raised my eyebrows, laughing.
"That's not what I meant." Josh shook his head, his cheeks going a little red.
"I know." I smiled, giving him a small kiss.
"Why can't this be?" He asked, sighing. His eyes were half-closed. Tired.
"You know why." I frowned. And he did. I would do anything to be with him, but there were things he couldn't do, like giving up on Claudia and the baby. Who could?
"I'm sorry." He said, adverting his eyes to the ceiling.
"It's not your fault." I shrugged. It hurt, especially after all this, but it really wasn't anyone's fault.
"This is it, isn't it?" Josh sat up, running his hand through his hair.
"I guess so." The only way we could both say goodbye without really saying it. But I never thought about afterwards.
"Will you really never talk to me again?" I said. I had already confessed I glanced at the message, and he said it was better than having to tell me face-to-face.
"No. I will, every day. But I think it's just friends from now on." He said, tears welling in both of our eyes. I thought I was ready to let him go a while back, but I never thought it would actually come to that. We still have the last day of filming next week for Mockingjay, which means the whole thing will be coming to an end. I'll see him then, and probably many times before, but it will never be the same. Once you've grown into loving a friend, grown into greeting them with a kiss and not a hug, it is hard to go back. Hard to forget the memories you shared as a couple.
"Okay." I nodded slowly.
"Thank you, for...for loving me." He said, laughing.
"It was my pleasure." I smiled.
"Watch our for the wine stain by the way." I said, pointing to the stain of red marking the sheets near the edge.
Josh looked and shook his head, laughing.
"I can't believe you did that." He replied.
"Me neither. Sorry about that." I smirked.
"It's all good." He nodded.
I got up and quickly dressed, feeling Josh's eyes watching me. I looked back to him and raised an eyebrow.
"Not what friends do." And we shared a laugh.
After getting changed we walked downstairs together. He walked me to the door and we stood there, unsure of what was next.
"Josh, you are all I've ever wanted. When I was younger, I never thought that love meant that much, I never thought it could change you. And if it did, it would only cause trouble. And it does. Truly. But there is a bit of goodness in that trouble, only the one you love can really make you angry, because they know how. And...they could make you laugh, because they know how. You broke me, then put me together again. Without you, I'm nothing, friend or boyfriend, you still manage to put a smile on my face. It's cliche, but it's the truth." I said, biting my lip.
"I love you. You're my best friend, always." Josh replied. The words 'best friend' signaled it was over. I nodded, closing my eyes for a moment. It sunk in slowly.
"I love you too." I sighed. We shared a hug, but it was over too quickly.
"I give this break-up one week, what's your bet?" I questioned as I stepped outside, Josh holding the door open.
"See ya Jen." Josh sighed and closed the door.
I stood there for a second, feeling miserable. He didn't want me to fall back in his arms again, I could see it. He knew how easy it was for us to re-mend our mistakes. I just couldn't break away. But I had to. So I did.
I walked to my car, got in and drove off. This was where the past few months Josh and I shared disappeared, like magic. All that remained was the last couple hours, and instead of crying, I just smiled at the moment.
***
Hey guys! Thanks for reading!
You may be confused, this is not over, not even close. And yes, Joshifer did the frickle frackle hahaha.
I'm sorry the ending is a bit weird. I struggled slightly. But I hope you enjoy anyways! Love you guys and your support.
Updating ASAP x