Im so zoned out. Im paying attention to the splashes my bare feet make in the puddles as i'm walking, i'm holding my heels at this point, just trying to walk in a straight line.
"we are almost home" I say to him
" good, you need to go to bed."
I scoff, followed by a laugh. The giggling doesn't last very long though, as all the feelings from being abandoned by Rue without a word, or warning said to me about it, come flooding back. I hope shes happy.
I walk up to the front door and try to get my keys out of my bra, I don't have pockets.
"Shit" I fumble about, seriously unable to get these keys out of my bra, Shaky hands from drugs and alcohol do not mix. Fez is just stood watching, its quite amusing actually.
"Uhm fez? Help?"
He looks at the floor and chuckles,
"Shiiiit, U fucken idiot" He says looking at me.
His cold hand makes me shudder, he's gentle though, obviously not wanting to take advantage of me, it takes about 10 seconds of his grabbing at the keys to get them out, maybe i shouldn't have worn a plunge bra. He continues on with the eye contact while handing me the keys, I blush.
We walk upstairs to my room, I open the door and sigh, I take my dress of quickly, not remembering that Fez is stood right outside the door, watching. I am left in a red lace thong, and a matching bra. He turns around respectfully after a few seconds of trailing down my body with his eyes,
I laugh.
I might be in love with this man.
No. Its way too soon to say that yet.
He literally only took me home because he's nice.
"Yo you decent yet?" He says
I quickly put on a big plain white t shirt and some black shorts
"yeah, yeah I am now."
He turns around and fiddles around with my bed making it comfy.
"Okay, now go sleep, your fucked up."
I sigh, wishing he would stay longer, but wishing i didn't wish that so badly.
I get in the bed and lay down, The despair and betrayal - no matter how petty those feelings may sound - are all still there. Rue is my only real friend, I love her like a sister, and she just leaves me at some party ran by the guy she knows i despise? Who the fuck does that, she knows how many drugs i took and she did that? She didn't even know i was with Fez, for all she knew i could of had nobody.
A few more tears escape my eye, I wipe them away quickly. Fez sits down on the edge of my bed and rubs my leg comfortingly.
" Wassup?"
" I don't know. Rue fucking left me, Like i know it sounds stupid to be crying over but shes known this girl for an hour, shes known me for years, she was meant to be staying here tonight, she fucking knew how many drugs i took and she still left." I sniffle.
" Listen, Rue fucks her mind up when shes on drugs, but i guess that still don't make up for what she did, and you didnt deserve that shi. However dont fuck up your friendship over this, you a good person Mel, and so is rue. Drugs fuck people up okay."
" I depend on them though. I cant even remember what life was like before I got addicted, my happiness, my sadness, my anger, all those basic human feelings, I can't feel them without drugs. my life, it's just like that now. Thoughts from before that time, before the addiction started, in my mind have been so deeply suppressed that they're not memories at all, There memories of memories.
I dont know where that shitty little speech came from, but Fez clearly didnt know what to say, he just hushed me and told me it would be okay, I passed out not long after
Somehow, i want to go back to rehab, i want to go back to just me and Rue.