Baddies of the BAU
Reid: span vend idol dialogs ⬛ 🟨 ⏹ 🟥
Emily: what.. Reid it's 5am we get up in 2 hours for work go to bed??💀😭 even I don't pull this shit 3am is the cut off
Derek: .. pretty boy what the duck does fhat mean💀🤨🤨
Reid: sign down chin🥨
Y/n: maybe he's born with it.. maybe its diludad 🎵 🎶 🎵
Derek: I GASPED.
JJ: I was just gonna yell at you all but .. Y/N OH MY FUCKING GOD😭😭
Y/n: maybe he shouldn't text at 5am waking my ass up 🙄 this behavior is giving.. withdrawal symptoms fr 😭
Emily: idk if I should laugh or not
JJ: ur literally laughing right besides me babe
Emily: right
Derek: ayo where's dilf he gotta take ur phone away fr😭😭 y/n wildin
Reid: I am not on anything and haven't been for years.
Y/n: ur texts beg to differ my man 🤨🤨 it's giving... dependency to drugs fr🤔 go to sleep
Emily: NO WOAT I FEEL BAD I FEEL LIKE THATS TOO FAR 💀
Derek: idk he was joking about my dead dad the other day 🤷🏾♂️🥴
Hotch: You all go too far way too much that you think it's normal. Everyone go to bed.
Y/n: you go to bed.🤨 tf
Hotch: I was trying
Emily: wait I'm tryna see smth
Derek: What?
JJ: my titties?
Emily: yes mommy I mean mommy I mean mommy I mean-
Y/n: help💀 I'm tired guys plz
Emily: hey y/n does hotch snore? Seems the type 🙄🙄👎🏻
Hotch: I do not.
Derek: How tf would you know you're sleeping 😹😹👎🏾
Y/n: No he actually doesn't surprisingly
Emily: GOTCHA BITCHES 📸 📸 📸 HA
Derek: YOURE SO FUCKING SMART HELP
Y/n: ...
Y/n: bamboozled me fr I'll give you that, caught me lacking from being tired.. damn 💀
Hotch: oh.
Hotch: All of you go to bed please. Now
Derek: hottie hotchie, you got caught in 4k no recovery from that one my man 😹😹
Reid: I'm still not over being accused of relapsing.
Y/n: hm that's so crazy dude amazing story
Hotch: apologize y/n that wasn't nice
Y/n: he woke me up and like Derek said he's he's making those same jokes towards us that's on him fr😄👏👏 it's his turn to get bullied
Derek: Reid leave ur snitch era and we'll go back to leaving you alone 😔 🙁 😞
Reid: hm thats tempting
Derek: ur tempting 👀 😳 😏 🤤🤤🤤
Reid: I'm gonna go back to bed now
Y/n: pretty boy ily but don't play with fire if you don't wanna get burned that's all I gotta say 🤩🤩
Hotch: y/n off ur phone please I'm tired
Derek: go tf to sleep then🤨🤨 no one is stopping you😭 tf y/n gotta do with it
Emily: I'm going to bed too tbh see you all in the morning 💋
8:32am
Derek: omg wait you mfers spent the night with eachother last night didn't you
Reid: Who?
JJ: huh, em and I literally live together 😭
Derek: I was talking to the sexys stfu🙄👎🏾 tf
Y/n: Why do you think we spent the night together?
Derek: Why else would dilfy 1 tell you to get off your phone because he's tired? He didn't address us all only you 🙄🙄 we are profilers dumbass
Y/n: I'm gonna go do my work now
Derek: yall were fucking without me. 😧
Hotch: No we were not, actually
Emily: sus but okay 😭 💃🏻
Derek: so you'd fuck with me is what I'm hearing 😏 🤪
Y/n: derek
Derek: say it again.fuck 😫😫🤤🤤🤩🤩
JJ: DEREK WHAT 😃
Hotch: panty wearer energy is strong today
Derek: you'd know wouldn't you 😏 🤨
Hotch: from you, yeah
Derek: yeah and I guess when you look in the mirror too 🤔
Y/n: you both wear panties now shut up 🙀🙀
Emily: all bau men wear panties 💅🏻
Rossi: what.
JJ: HELP 😭😭😭
Emily: I said what I said 🤨
Y/n: PURR BESTIE SO TRUE 👏👏😋
Derek: so hotchie does wear them? Hot😫😫
Emily: 🤨 were you not just trying to shame him who dropped you on your head?
Y/n: if I asked him to he def would tbh
JJ: HUH LMAO
Emily: girl bossin it fr go bestie go 💃🏻 💃🏻
Derek: IM FUCJING YELLING HELP 😭😭 I WAS FUCJING JOKING 💀🥴🥴
Y/n: I gotta go uh yk I'm gonna.. paperwork 😃
Hotch: 🤨
Derek: nah don't act hard hotchie you def would you one submissive mfer around y/n they could blink and you'd fold 😭
JJ: they could tell him to jump out the window and he'd ask which one fr
Emily: 🏢 🤸🏻♂️ <him
Hotch: I would not jump out a window.
Emily: sounds like something a window jumper would say 🤔 👀
Y/n: WINDOW JUMPER😭😭
Rossi: Aaron do not jump out a window kid
Hotch: I'm not gonna? GUYS SHUT UP.
Y/n: woooowww so you wouldn't jump out a window for me? Offended. 😧😧😧😧😧😧
Derek: I'd jump out a window for you both one chance please I'm begging😫
JJ: derek honey we know it's okay
Y/n: derek would be so much more sexy if he stopped talking yk😍😍😍
Derek: I'm sexy no matter what 💖
Y/n: yall I tried 😪
Emily: we appreciate ur service soldier 💋
Derek: you saying I'm NOT sexy? 🤔 babes ur lying to yourself
Y/n: I NEVER SAID THAT, YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE, MAN I WAS JUST TRYNA GET YOU TO SHUT UP 🤧
Y/n: wait I have an idea guys
Emily: what? 🥴 we are gonna kiss? 💜
JJ: I'll allow it
JJ: WAIT NO 😧 WIFEY 💔
Hotch: Derek
Derek: dilfy my beloved ❤
Hotch: I'll kiss you again if you stop harassing everyone, I promise
Emily: HUH😶
Derek: wait fr? 🥴🤨🤨
Hotch: Yes.
JJ: HOTCH WHAT💀 IM THINKING THIS MFER GOT STOCKHOLM SYNDROME OR SOME SHIT DEREK HARASSED HIM SM HE LIKES IT NOW
Emily: NO BECAUSE😭 WHYS HE OFFERING HIMSELF UP LIEK THAT. DID Y/N MAKE HIM THEY DEAD HELD THEIR GUN TO HIS HEAD AND MADE HIM SAY THAT BC I KNOW HE WOULDNT WILLINGLY ??
Derek: He willingly did last time😋 didn't tell anyone too until pretty boy accidentally saw js 🤷🏾♂️🤸🏾♂️‼️‼️
Y/n: hotch that's so nice of you thank you for your service to this country 🙏🏻 ❤
JJ: WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH IT HELP😭
Derek: Y/n you can join us it's okay 👺👺
Hotch: Huh??
Hotch: I DID NOT WRITE THAT WHO TOOK MY PHONE.
Emily: oh. Y/N NKT YOU TRYING TO GET YOUR BOYFRIEND TO KISS DEREK😭😭
Y/n: :) it is for the good of society 📸 cmon guys now kith
Derek: yk what thanks for the blessing 🙌🏻 white
JJ: the white emoji💀💀
Hotch: I'm not kissing him ever
Y/n: you did once do it again🙄🙄
Emily: HELLO??? 🙀🙀🤪
Hotch: I see how it helped last time but he went right back to doing it because it's funny to him so it doesn't bother me enough to kiss him bc I know it's just him joking
Y/n: next time Derek offers us a threesome I'm gonna say yes
Hotch: what
Derek: SAY FUCKING LESS LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO 😫😫😫😫😫😫🤸🏾♂️🤸🏾♂️🤸🏾♂️🤤🤤🤤
Derek: y/n, threesome?
Y/n: yes ofc duh
Emily: WHAT IS GOING ON STOP TRYING TO MAKE HOTCHY BOY CRY HELP 💀 💃🏻
Hotch: so confused
Y/n: uninviting you to the threesome🙄
JJ: DID YOU JUST.. DONT FUCK DEREK😭😭
Reid: Isn't that cheating?
Y/n: Pretty boy is unaware to what jokes are (4K)
Y/n: I'm trying to get Hotch mad🙄 bc it's funny n he's hot 🔥
Hotch: .. what ?
Y/n: I like Derek better than you
Derek: PURR bestie‼️‼️‼️
Hotch: That's not true and you know it's not lol
Rossi: wait y/n is with Derek too?
Y/n: NO LMAO ROSSI BE QUIET 💀
Derek: ugh we all could be in a poly relationship 🙄 tf
Emily: who is we
Y/n: the whole bau just dates eachother 😭
Rossi: I'll pass kiddos! 🤔
Derek: ur old anyways👎🏾👎🏾 tf
Rossi: Okay!
Hotch: derek leave him alone LMAO
Derek: not hotch not saying anything about his partner literally joking about fucking me it's giving.. cuck behavior 🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀
Emily: NAHHH YOU DID NOT JUST CALL OUR BOSS A CUCK💀 DEREK MORGAN
Derek: shiii u right my bad my bad
Derek: cuckold** should've used the full term duh
Hotch: are you calling me old
Y/n: babes I think ur worrying about the wrong thing rn..😭 help
Rossi: what is that
Rossi: I'll Google it, it can't be that bad
Reid: It's when a typically married man let's his wife sleep with other men, and likes it
Rossi: oh.
Hotch: I know y/n wouldn't touch Derek thats why I do not care what he says, I know who I am👍🏻
Y/n: FUCK 🦋 🦋 🦋 THE CONFIDENCE >>
Y/n: sorry
Emily: GOT A LIL TOO EXCITED💀💀
Garcia: Oo butterflies are pretty!! 🦋:)
Derek: so true babygirl ❤
Reid: Monarch butterflies are endangered :(
Rossi: is this a bad time to say that the popcorn machine is on fire??
Hotch: ..
Hotch: David.
Reid: Oh. It is, yeah that's a fire alright.
Derek: NOT HIM TRYING TO BURN US ALL ALIVE I TOLD YALL HIS HOMOPHOBIA WOULD POP THROUGH FUCK I BET HE GOT RUGS TOO YALL RUN RUN RUN 🤨‼️‼️‼️‼️
Emily: i have marshmellows brb
JJ: baby..💀
Rossi: it's out now !
Hotch: yeah thanks to me
Emily: FUCK YOU HOTCH I WANTED TO ROAST MARSHMALLOWS YOU FUCKING STUPID TALL ASS SERIOUS TIE WEARING IDIOT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK 😡
Y/n: ugh #problematic of him tbh
Derek: let Emily roast her marshmellows the building would've been fine🙄🙄👎🏾
Emily: ^^ EXACTLY.
Hotch: "Oh my god thank you for not letting go us die hotch!" "Thank you for caring about our well being hotch that's so considerate!" No worries guys 👍🏻
Reid: But no one said that..?
Reid: OH.
Y/n: 💀 he'll get over it