A/N Double update day!
Indigo's POV
"You didn't have many clothes in your car, so I brought some of mine." Amelia explained. Looking at her clothes it was obvious we had very different styles. "This your first date with Buster, we need you to look perfect!"
"Actually, this is my first date period." I mumbled.
Cass and Amelia turned to look at me in shock.
"Seriously!?" Amelia shouted. I winced and Cass slapped her arm and gave her a glare.
"You've never been on a date before?" Cass asked gently.
"No, I just," I struggled to find the words. "Guys scared me, what if they were like Drake or my dad?"
"Not everyone is like that Indi." Cass pointed out.
"Yup, just look at all the yummy men around here. They'd never hurt any of us. Hell, they'd hurt anyone that tried to hurt us." Amelia pointed out.
"I know, Buster was the first guy I ever felt safe around. I feel safe here, but there's more." I explained. "I was always afraid that as soon as guys saw my scars and found out what's happened to me, they wouldn't want me anymore because I'm too dirty." I felt a tear slide down my cheek.
"Oh Indi, I totally get it." Cass assured me, I looked at her skeptically. "No really, I do. When I was in college some men attacked me. I have some scars of my own from their assault. I thought I was dirty and too broken too. Gage helped me to see beyond my scars and made me feel beautiful again. He told me all the time until I was able to believe it myself. He loves me and saw past the brokenness."
"I don't have any scars, but I came here with a lot of baggage. Blade saw past my mask and helped me to get rid of the baggage. Now I finally feel like I have a home." Amelia said dreamily.
Maybe Buster will see beyond my past and scars, "Thanks for sharing with me, it really helps." I gave them a smile. "Now I really appreciate the help getting ready, but I don't think I'm ready to wear anything that's too revealing." I said gently trying to not offend Amelia.
Cass nudged Amelia, "I told you she wouldn't feel comfortable." Cass turned to me then, "I brought some clothes too, but Amelia made me leave the in the hall saying hers were more 'appropriate' for a date." Doing air quotes with appropriate. Amelia just rolled her eyes.
Cass brought in her clothes and showed them to me. I let out a sigh of relief, "Yes, thanks Amelia, but I think these might be more comfortable for me."
Amelia sighed in defeat but said no more about it. Cass did my make up while Amelia did my hair. They both bickered as they went over what they felt was right for the date. I just rolled my eyes and let them do it. I've always just worn my hair straight and down and I was never one for make-up. So best to leave it up to them, even if they did have different ideas about the whole thing.
Finally, I was dressed and got to look into the mirror for the first time. I barely recognized myself. Cass was able to hide the bruising on my face. "Thank you." I whispered out to them, overcome with emotion from the kindness they had shown me.
"Of course!" Cass said give me a small hug.
"Us old ladies have to stay together." Amelia gave me a wink.
Just then there was a soft knock at the door. Buster poked his head in, "Hey is Bird..." When he saw me, his question died on his lips and he just stared at me. I began to worry something was wrong and it must have showed on my face because Buster coughed and continued, "You look breath taking Little Bird."
I blushed at his compliment. "Amelia and Cass worked together to get me ready."
"We didn't have much to have to do Indi, you're beautiful." Cass encouraged me.
Buster held his hand out to me, "Ready?"
I nodded my head and silently took his hand. I gave a nervous glance over my shoulder only to see Cass and Amelia give me a thumbs up and big smiles. Off to my first date I go. Hopefully it won't be my last. I chewed my bottom lip in nervousness.
Buster's POV
I drove my old truck back into our property. Flame didn't think Bird would appreciate going horseback riding with her injuries. I didn't even think of that. I've never been this nervous before, but Bird is different. Then when I looked in my room and saw her? My pants got tight. I had to calm myself, knowing there is no way she is ready for anything like that. I could tell she was nervous too.
"Thanks for agreeing to go with me. Flame sure did pack a lot for us. I think her cravings were getting her distracted, so she started adding random things into the bag." I explained. That made her chuckle.
"Ember seems to enjoy taking care of all you guys. She was always very nurturing even as kids. She looked out for others and made sure everyone was okay. I can see how much you all love her." Indi admits.
"Yea, she's become a huge part of not just Hawk's life but all of our lives. That's how it works though. We're all one big family." I could see a distant look in her eyes when I said that. "You know you're a part of this family too."
"What?" She asked a little confused.
"Being Flame's family already made you our family, but you being my old lady is even bigger." I explain to her.
"I think I'm going to like this kind of family." She looked distant again.
We pulled up on the hill I was looking for. "This is my favorite place on the whole ranch. I had Axel even help me build that bench over there. I like to come out here and think. Sometimes you just need to be alone, you know?" I looked to her nervously.
She was watching me, and she slowly nodded her head, "I get that. Sometimes you need to shut everyone out so you can really pick through your thoughts when there are just too many to figure out."
"Exactly!" I tell her smiling. I get out and go around the truck to open her door. Once I've helped her out, I grab the basket from the back end and take her hand to make our way over to my bench. "You know if you ever need to do that, you can come out and use my bench. I don't mind sharing it with you."
She rewarded me with a shy smile, "Thanks Buster, I just might do that sometime."
I start to pull out what Flame packed, and Bird's eyes get bigger and bigger, "You weren't joking when you said her cravings began to take over."
"This is nothing, I finally had to draw the line at the ice cream she was trying to stick in there." That made her full-on belly laugh. I loved the sight of her carefree and happy. I want to always see her like that, and with time she will. I just know it.
We began to eat in a comfortable silence taking in our scenery of the pastures and horses grazing. Once I pulled out some fruit for dessert, we began some idle chit chat until all the food was packed away. Indi reached over and grabbed my hand, "I feel like you know everything about me, but I don't really know much about you outside of the club?"
I knew this was coming and since I've seen the deepest and darkest of her life already it was only fair, I gave her the same in return. "The club knows me as the loud always smiling Buster. My club name came from people always busting a gut around me from laughing. I wasn't always that way, and honestly a lot of the time that's just a mask for hiding my feeling like I'm not good enough. That's part of what drew me to you in the first place. I saw the mask you were wearing for everyone, but I saw it slip anytime one of my brother's approached you that first night you were here." She looked surprised at that. "I guess I just recognized it another person because it's what I do." I shrugged in explanation. "I didn't grow up as part of the club. I met Hawk in high school. My parents weren't the greatest. They would constantly tell me how worthless I was and how I was just a mistake." I looked off onto the pasture while I continued talking, "I tried so hard to make them proud of me, but nothing was ever good enough. They never wanted kids. I just happened by mistake and my grandparents pushed them not to abort me."
I heard a sniffle and turned to look at her then, "Oh Buster, that's awful. They're idiots to not see how incredible you are." I smiled at her and wiped the tears off her face.
"Thanks, Little Bird, it's hard sometimes. You know you're told something long enough you finally just believe it. I realized though impressing them was pointless and as soon as I turned 18, I left. I started working for a mechanics shop and later got my GED. I haven't been back, but I heard my mom died a few years back. I didn't feel anything. No sadness. Nothing. I don't know what that says about me." I frown looking at the ground, I hate thinking about this stuff.
"It says that you were treated poorly by the people that all they did was give you birth. You owe them nothing Buster. It says more about them than it does you." She assured me squeezing my hand.
"I knew I was missing something in my life. After Hawk started changing the direction of the club, I decided that's what it was. It was a family. The men and women of the club have done more for me than my parents ever did. That's why I always try to make everyone laugh. I was always so miserable and never happy. I don't want others to feel that way." I admit to her.
"That's noble of you, but you know it's okay for you to be human too and take care of you." I smiled at her.
"Yea, the guys pointed out how sour my mood was getting for a few months there." I can't help but chuckle remembering the conversations.
"What do you mean?" Bird was confused.
"Well, I just couldn't find a reason to smile anymore even if it was to wear a mask. A Little Bird had swooped into my life and just as quickly swooped away." I smirked at her.
She blushed, "I struggled to. You made me feel things I never thought I would be able to feel."
"I like that I make you feel things." I wink at her.
She laughs at my antics, "What's your real name?"
"I don't really like it; it makes me think of my life before the club. It was something my parents gave me, and I don't want anything from them. So, I'll tell you but I'd prefer you didn't use it." She nodded to show her understanding. "It's Charlie."
"Thanks for trusting me Buster. Thanks for everything, this was the perfect first date." Her eyes went wide, and she slapped her hand over her mouth before hiding her face in her hands.
"This is your first date Little Bird?" I asked her, puffing my chest out a bit at the idea.
She nodded. I gently pulled her hands away and lifted her face. "I'm honored to be your first, and I hope that we will get to share many firsts." With that I kissed her, at first, she was still but then she joined in and moaned into the kiss. Yup, one day I'm gonna marry this woman.
A/N: I think there's about 6 more chapters left for this one. There is still a lot of ground to cover so we'll see what happens as I put it all down. I'm off Friday and stuck inside due to the weather. So I may just get to finish it off. IF not I think I'll be able to next week. Hard to believe this will be my third complete book. Though I'd like to go back and add and change somethings to the first two. I plan to go back to the Reverse Haraam I was working on, "Finally, Complete" though I was debating changing it to not be a Reverse Haraam. What are you're thoughts? Do ya'll like Reverse Haraam's or would you rather me change it? Really conflicted which has been part of why I've waited for writing more, along with wanting to finish this one off.