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A/N: Hello there! :) Before you get started with the episode, I just wanted to ask you guys something. I left a little survey on my profile a couple of days ago about my updates. Basically, I wanted to know your opinion on my upload schedule. Do you prefer longer chapters but uploading only once a week or shorter chapters but uploading twice a week? It would be very helpful if you let me know :) That's it, enjoy the chapter!
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Y/N's POV
Fuck.
Just when I thought everything was going to get better.
Right now, Anakin and I were in front of Qui-Gon getting scolded so badly due to the poor outcome of the recon mission. It's not like it was entirely our fault, it's just that those Geonosians, there were too many of them, and their big claws and repulsive wings and their faces... The urge to puke came faster than expected by remembering those awful creatures but I held it in.
—Are you fucking kidding me? Are you telling me that the two of you couldn't take out the Geonosians all by yourselves? —His nostrils got bigger with every breath he took, the glow on his eyes stinging mine and the Force around him kept getting heavier, scaring the living shit out of me. —What the fuck did you do now? Fought over the control of the ship? Got distracted and gave them the opportunity of taking you down?—He stared, waiting for an answer but neither of us talked. —And?! I'm waiting!
Anakin and I shared a look, deciding which one of us was gonna face our master. Silently, our eyes connected and my shields came down momentarily.
We should do it together, I mean, it was a mutual mistake. —I said through the mental bond.
"I think you would do a better job, you are his favorite after all." He counterpart.
What a fucking coward.
I squinted my eyes at him after that last comment.
A tired sigh left my mouth and I faced Qui-Gon. Being shy was never a problem to me, however, being under Qui-Gon's scrutinizing gaze made me feel small and the words in my mouth had a difficult time forming a sentence. The anxiety I felt only brought me back to Exegol, reminding me of all the times Palpatine would scold me for my lack of potential and would use his rays to punish me, feeling the hellish heat burning my nerves and muscles, disintegrating my confidence.
I could sense every emotion that irradiated from him: anger, disappointment, hate... like a whip hitting me on the face over and over again. The emotional and physical torture scarred me deeply and the repercussions could be seen in moments like these, in which I would flinch at the minimal mention of disapproval from my authority figures. I knew I had to afront my errors but watching Qui-Gon's face was not something I was ready to do.
—I-I'm sorry, Qui-Gon. We c-clearly u-underestimated the Geonosians and when they came at us... w-we couldn't handle them. They were flying around like mosquitoes and our view was blocked most of the time. T-The good news is that we were trapped on the other side of the planet, so there's no chance that the rebels knew of our presence.
He hummed with this hand on his chin. The uncertainty of his thoughts killed me. —Were there any survivors? —He finally asked.
—No, fortunately Anakin took care of the few that got away. He actually saved us. But the damage on the ship is considerable. —I lowered my eyes once again so he couldn't see the crimson red that painted my face.
—Anakin, how would you rate Phoenix's performance on this mission?— He directed his stare to the man next to me.
I actually had no idea what he was going to say. We did fight that much; there were a lot of things coming at us and this would be the perfect moment for him to blame everything on me. Something that would be completely cruel, due to the fact that I actually praised him in front of Qui-Gon.
—She was great, master. Her battle skills are remarkable. —I turned at him with widened eyes, but he didn't look back. —It wasn't anybody's fault, if you ask me. The clones weren't back up enough and just the two of us against almost three hundred of them? The outcome was good enough, taking everything into consideration.
Qui-Gon was taken back by the comment as well, almost like he couldn't believe we were getting along. It seemed that our mutual praising and understanding softened his mood and helped him redirect his anger. He raised his eyebrows.
—Then what happened? I can understand why so few clones came back, but what I cannot understand is why you two are injured. —He wondered. —Maybe what you two need is more practice. — More practice than defending your life in the Outer Rim? Okay, sure. —Inside of this building you are too protected, too comfortable. I think both of you would take advantage of fighting a worthy opponent: each other. —We both stiffened at the words. —I'm sending both of you on mandatory battle training. Every day, at least two hours. And that includes light saber and body combat. Any questions?— Both of us raised our hands. —No? Great. You may go now. You start tomorrow. I will be there sharp to see you get started.
We exited quietly and walked next to each other silently until we reached the chambers area, far enough for Qui-Gon not to hear us.
—What an asshole! You totally jumped the gun on that one! That's why the Geonosians saw us! We were supposed to be in and out without being seen, but nooo, you have to show off, every. damn. time! —I growled and pushed my finger to his chest, puntualizing every word.
—Me? You are lucky I find your ass hot and decided to save it because you were totally overwhelmed! I bet if it wasn't for me you would be inside their castle carrying little mosquitoes babies for them. —He towered me and I stepped back at the sudden invasion of personal space.
The disgust I felt flowered on my face on the most exaggerated grimace.—You are so gross! Ugh, I had everything under control! Don't try to undermine me! —I put my chin up, showing him I was not intimidated.
—Sure, whatever you say, princess. —He mocked me with an eye roll. —Better go get some sleep, I will be going hard on you tomorrow.—A suggestive smirk appeared on his lips, now I was the one rolling my eyes.
—There's nothing you can teach me. —I twirled, ready to go to my room, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me into his body.
—I beg to differ, I think there's so much I can teach you. —His hand made his way to the cleavage of my suit, which was particularly low in comparison with the other ones I had. He could easily see the skin of my breasts, the fabric barely making an effort to cover them. His eyes left my chest momentarily to focus on mine.
—Please, beg. —I smirked. —I would love to see that.
We challenged each other silently, struggling to see who would be the winner of our little power duel. Nothing on his face showed his will to give up and I did not back up either.
—Let's see who ends up begging when you are under me, princess. —He picked up a string of my hair between his gloved hand and put it behind my ear.
I furrowed my brows. —Stop calling me that. It doesn't even make sense.
—And what would you prefer? Puppy, babe, doll...—I grimaced at every single option until he reached one that I liked and my cheeks didn't hide how my heart fluttered at the cute pet name.—... sweetheart? Oh, so we like sweetheart. Good to know. —He grinned.
—Back off, Skywalker. —I whispered, completely embarrassed. I tried pushing him away, but he was stronger. The grip now around my waist. He lowered his lips to my ear and the words that came out next went straight to the little bud between my thighs.
—Say it again, louder this time. I love when you say my name like that. — The words rolled out of his mouth so softly, so effortlessly. The ring to them almost velvety, making me wanna melt into a puddle. —I can't wait for you to scream it.
My attempts of escaping his grip ceased for a moment, letting myself enjoy his closeness and the deliciousness of being desired by him. I wanted him to prove himself, to show me how good he could make me feel. Suddenly my hands had life on their own and I slowly stroked his arms, feeling the tight muscles underneath. I moaned at the nibbling that took place on my ear.
If I could only give in...
But no. I can't.
Also, I was so tired of his little bickering game. I knew he would never comply. I mean, it was questionable; he was just mocking me and I couldn't let him see me like a fool again, that one time in the kitchen was more than enough.
I pulled harder this time and I was set free. —You better watch your mouth. That's a big promise right there. —I raised one brow.
—I'm confident in it. —he smiled looking at my lips. I shook my head and walked to my room, with this constant feeling on my butt. I lowered my shields and let him in.
"At least don't be so obvious."
"Oh sweetheart, but you love it."
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Next day
I didn't want to wake up the next morning.
By now, I was absolutely sure that in any circumstance Anakin and I were alone, things were going to get out of control. And hand-to-hand combat didn't seem like the best situation, if my goal was to distance ourselves as much as humanly possible.
Now in the bathroom, the fresh water alleviated some of my stress and gave me the clarity I needed. My focus was to kick his ass and leave. In that order. Not foolish bickering, no extra-contact. Just get the job done. In and out. In and out... Y/n! Pull yourself together, woman.
I jogged my way to the training facility and arrived just in time at the scene. Anakin was already there, an angry face decorating his features.
—You're late, princess. You still need to warm up and Qui-Gon will be here at any moment.—he glared at me and put all of his weight on his right hip, arms crossed.
—I already warmed up, so we can get started. —I stated coldly. I wasn't going to engage in any flirty arrangement. He looked at me borderline disappointed, but he did a wonderful job recovering his face from that.
—Fine, then- —If he wanted to say something else, he missed the train, because Qui-Gonn arrived at that very moment.
—Good morning guys, slept well? —We both nodded, not being very communicative. —Alright, let's get ready to start. Let's begin with some sparring, shall we?
He walked to the front of the room, where the enormous wall mirror was. I went to the large benches on the sides of the room and left my exercise jacket there and sneakers. I opted for a more discrete outfit today, a black long sleeved shirt of a soft fabric and some olive leggings. Surprisingly, Anakin didn't take his shirt off and walked straight to the center of the carpet. No signs of flirting or lust. No demonstrations or suggestive gazes. Almost like he could hear my thoughts. I double checked my shields, in case I had them lowered, but no.
I wondered what happened.
Even though I wanted him to stay away, I was curious about what suddenly changed from yesterday to today. Instead of feeling cohibited for his lack of attention, I put on a brave face and met him on the carpet. He ignited his red lightsaber and I followed him, pulling out my double blade and showing off the purple glow. I was really proud of my weapon of choice, the double blade being completely intimidating, giving me such a sense of... power. I had done a few arrangements to the original design, so now I can split it in two.
—Hey! Did she get a double blade? —So the feistiness isn't gone.
Qui-Gon rolled his eyes.
"It's way too early for this."
His thoughts were loud and I couldn't help but to laugh at them. Anakin widened his eyes at his master and then glared at me. I put my shields down and talked to Anakin through the Force.
Scared of a little competition, Whineakin?
He smiled a little, glad that I was actually engaging in conversation.
"Not at all, bring it on, princess."
—Phoenix, let's do one blade for this first session. —Qui-Gon intervened. Anakin looked at Qui-Gon confused, but I nodded and held back a laugh.
—No, no, Qui-Gon, I was kidding. C'mon, I'm not scared of a double blade. —Anakin pushed, showing that he wasn't afraid.
—No, Anakin, you're right. I wanna see you both sparring in equal conditions. Also is good practice for Phoenix.—I opened the lightsaber by the middle part, splitting it in two, revealing the dagger at the end of the right saber. I started to swing it side by side, adjusting my arms to the now-divided weight. —Use the left one. —He glared at me and I rolled my eyes mentally. —In the next session you can use the double blade. —He reasoned.
—Maybe you are the one that is actually scared by a double blade... —Anakin whispered, thinking he was quiet enough, but oh boy, was he wrong. Qui-Gon immediately turned his gaze at him and the yellow glow on his eyes burned into Anakin's. Anakin just watched him ashamed, cheeks all red due to the embarrassment of being caught, but silently holding a laugh for his snarky comment.
—Oh, yeah? Let's see how you react, then. Phoenix, use the right one. —He threatened with raised eyebrows, moving himself out of the way.
I smirked and shut down the left saber, clicking it to my belt. I continued to swing the lightsaber in circle motions and then stopped in a fighting stand, waiting for Anakin to get in his attack pose.
"Fine, let's see if you can handle the heat, princess."
I was never afraid of combat, especially a lightsaber duel. I was way too good, well, I had to be. Palpatine would punish me harshly if I failed... so I didn't allow myself to do it. I didn't allow him to have the opportunity of hurting me. I worked harder everyday to be better, to defend myself better. So nobody could get close enough to touch me.
I was the one in control here. This was my arena. My comfort zone and I'll be damned if he beat me to it.
The only thing I hoped was that I wouldn't let myself slip.
Anakin grabbed his blade and twirled it once before looking at me from behind his eyelashes, a provocative look adorned by the smirk in his lips. After removing his shirt, he moved forward, quickly, giving me the minimum chance to react to his fast moves. He held the sword highly, lowering fastly and then, boom, both our lightsabers clashed. My defense was strong, keeping him in place, not letting him through.
My arms started to shake due to the pressure and I had to change the horizontal position of the blade or else he was going to get the handle of me. I looked at him through the colorful lights, our eyes framed by the heat of the blades, almost artistically. I felt like in a movie: our breaths, our staring, our movements were all in slow motion, making the pain, the excitement, the arousal ten times more painful. Making my misery grow longer by the second. I smiled at him, which he returned, opening up his vulnerable state for one mili-second. I took the opportunity and I kicked him back, moved my blade to his sides in a failed attempt to hurt him but he deflected every single one of my swings.
In one of my attempts, I slipped forwards a little too far and he then took the opportunity to catch me mid air and turned me around with a single twist, leaving me disoriented for one second, just to follow it up with a swing to my neck. I deflected by tumbling backwards, doing a cartwheel and using my lightsaber as my support, trying to create some distance between us.
He didn't hesitate to keep his offensive attack going, pushing me backwards, almost reaching the end of the training mat. Our blades clashed over and over again, pushing me closer to the edge, so I put my hand up and force-pushed him to the other side of the room. Anakin resisted the strength of my hit and landed on his feet, sliding his body a few inches back due to the impact.
—Qui-Gon, is the use of the Force allowed? I thought this was a lightsaber spar. —Anakin commented, annoyingly enough to receive an eye roll from me.
He stayed there panting, both of us trying to get our breath back. Our eyes locked on a stare off. The beads of sweat reached the surface of his skin; glowy, beautiful at the light of the room. I could see all of his muscles clenching at the rhythm of his panting. My first instinct was to come close, lick it off in order to fulfill the task I never got to that night in the kitchen. This is exactly what he does. He is confusing you right now, Y/n. Focus! I shook my head and got back to my stand.
—Do you need a binky? 'Cause you cry a lot, Ani. —I mocked him, seductively smiling and putting all of my weight on my right leg.
"I would rather suck another thing, sweetheart."
I shivered at his words, eyes widening at his suggestion. My lips separated, gasping harder for air and my nipples hardening at his dirty words. I looked at Qui-Gon to see his reaction, but he was too busy checking something on his datapad, ignoring our whole interaction. I switched my gaze back at him, just to see him laughing, hair matted at his forehead. His jaw clenched in an attractive way, hardening my attempts of ignoring him.
"Oh, c'mon princess, I thought you were better than this. Is the heat getting to you?"
I shook my head again and squinted my eyes at him, sprinting his way. When we got close, I batted the sword repeatedly and when I had advantage enough, I kicked him on his knee, making him kneel. I twirled the sword on my hand to reach the dagger. The pointy beskar metal made its way to his face like a bullet. I was a ball of rage, I even think I was capable of actually stabbing him on the eye. I just wanted all of my emotions out: all of the confusion, the lust, the anger. I didn't know how to react to him. I had never in my life felt this way. But what was it?
My role was clear: to serve the Empire, to be a powerful Sith Lady, to be an obedient apprentice.
But whenever I was near him, I wanted to throw all of that down the drain. I wanted him.
To surrender to the heavy desire between my legs, the one calling for him. I was torn between being everything everyone trained me to be and actually following what I wanted for once. But I knew he wasn't just like any other fling I had. This one had consequences. Serious ones. It wasn't as easy... that just made it so much more exciting.
It could be a no-strings attached. Would it work?
I shut the little horny voice on my head for the eleventh time. God, I hated it. I wanted to kill it, just like I wanted to kill Anakin for making me feel out of place, for disturbing me and my peace, for making me doubt my control.
I gripped the dagger harder, with all of the motivation of completing my task, but an invisible pull separated me from Anakin. His face showed a mixture of amusement and fear, eyes full of lust.
—I think both of you could use a break. —Qui-Gon stated, looking at me worried. —Phoenix, go take a lap. Drink some water. We'll be back in 20. —I got up, shutting down the purple glow and breathing frantically.
I looked at Anakin once more, my face expression demonstrating how much I loaded him. But I think he was smiling because he knew that besides despising him, I desired him too.
Leaving the room with furious steps, I located some troopers walking in the aisle. I force-choked them trying to calm myself down, but it didn't work so I just sliced them open with the saber, getting the job done quickly.
Only if I could do that to every one of my problems.
We resumed our training later when I came back, calmer this time. Qui-Gon paid special attention, so nothing like before would happen again. I tried to keep my reactions and comments at bay and Anakin actually collaborated, but never deleted the annoying smirk on his face.