A few hours later he woke up to a pair of dark blue eyes staring down at him. Smiling gently, he stroked the baby dragon's cheek before sitting up slightly. He could see the toddler was clinging tightly onto his shirt. His emerald hair had fallen loosely onto his face while he slept. Tucking some of the hair behind the boy's ear, turned his attention back to the older of the young duo.
"Is everything okay, Raon?"
"Blondie."
There was concern in his son's gaze which caused him to quickly look around the room. When he confirmed they were alone, he sighed and leaned back against the headboard of his bed.
"What about him?"
The child fidgeted with the blanket before asking.
"Did he do something bad?"
<Ha– Now I need to explain things to him in a way that won't upset him too much.>
Running his bandaged hand through his fiery locks, he replied.
"Unfortunately, His Highness did something that he shouldn't have done."
<He f***ing tortured an innocent person...>
"Does Papa hate him now?"
Red-brown irises quaked briefly before he honestly answered his son.
"No. I don't hate him."
<I just f***ing wish I didn't feel the way I do for him. All I want now is just to be d*** allies...>
His hand stroked the dragon's head in order to distract himself and keep himself calm.
"Then why did you send him away?"
"That was because he needed to go home. He's got responsibilities at the palace since he's the Crown Prince. As is, he was here far too long."
The child searched his father's face as he tried to process everything. Was that really the reason? If so, why did he seem so upset and yell at him? Didn't he want to spend more time with him? Just what actually happened between them that would upset his guardian that much?
"Papa."
"Yes, Raon?"
He smiled softly at his second youngest in hopes the boy would believe him.
"Did Blondie hurt you too?"
<Not physically.>
Making sure his mask didn't falter, he pulled the dragon into a hug.
"I'm okay, Raon. Thank you for worrying about me."
The corners of the child's lips twitched before he retorted.
"Who says I'm worried? This great and mighty me was just curious. That's all."
His second youngest's adorable response made him chuckle while the dragon relaxed into his embrace. Nuzzling his head against the adult's chest he whispered in a barely audible voice.
"I love you, Papa."
Stroking the boy's back affectionately, the redhead replied.
"I love you too, Raon."
Finally the four years old was lulled back to sleep and he was left alone to figure out his thoughts. There were a lot of things he needed to prepare for and it seemed losing control of his emotions was one of them. Not only that, but they confused him way too much.
<Is there a way to get rid of them? They're too f***ing annoying to deal with...>
Closing his eyes, he began to search his records for any method possible that he could use to either remove or seal his troublesome feelings. The more he looked through them, the stronger the crest on his shoulder burned. He could tell one of the other Gods was trying to intervene.
<Go away! D*** it! This is my f***ing decision!>
A stronger pain surged as white and pink mist began to exit the crest and envelope him. Anger surged through him again and he used his own power to force them back. There was nothing they could say or do to convince him to keep his emotions. They were too problematic. If necessary, he could just pretend that he was happy around his family.
<It'd make things easier for me to complete my tasks too.>
Suddenly the door burst open and the twins raced over towards him with panicked expressions.
"Papa! Please don't do it!"
"No, Papa! You mustn't!"
<F***! Aylin! Can't you just let me do what I want?>
His daughters briskly climbed onto the bed and hugged him tightly. They were scared he would do like their lady had told them that he was planning to do. How could he try and get rid of his own emotions like this? It wasn't right or fair! In the end, the sound of the girls' voices woke up their dongsaengs who both quickly looked up at their father for answers.
"You need to be able to feel happy, Papa!"
"Airi's right! If you do that, you'll never be able to!"
<I have all of you. That's all I'll need. As long as you're happy, I don't need to worry about anything else. Besides, my emotions are only causing me issues and making me hurt myself or others around me. That's the last thing that I want.>
Confusion filled the second youngest's dark blues. What did his noonas mean? Was his father planning to do something bad again?
"Papa?"
Red-browns glance down at the baby dragon.
"Are you being an idiot again, Papa?"
There was no expression on the deity's face as he replied.
"No, Raon. I'm just doing something that'll make things easier for everyone in the future."
Frustrated by their guardian's words, the younger twin jumped off the bed and raced out of the room. She needed to get her grandfather. Maybe he could talk some sense into him.
<Where's Gumi running off to now?>
Looking back at the older of the silver haired duo, his hand tucked some of her curls behind her ear. Her green eyes were filled with an array of emotions themselves.
"Airi. Everything will be okay. You mustn't worry."
When the door reopened, he saw his daughter had brought the assassin back with her.
<Ha– Do I really have to deal with this right now?>
He could see distress in the man's eyes which were being hidden by a benign smile. The younger holy maiden hurried back over the bed.
"Papa! Grandpa's here! Please talk to him!"
Exchanging a look, the twins then opened their arms for their dongsaengs who seemed to understand that they needed to give the adults some privacy. Briskly, the two climbed into their sisters' embrace and the four children left the room. Once they were gone, the human sat down on the bed next to the youth.
"Cale."
Brown irises examined the redhead carefully. There were no emotions visible at all on the younger man's face. Even his gaze had an emptiness to it. Had they been too late?
"Gumi told me everything."
Cautiously, he touched the deity's bandaged hand.
"Please don't go doing anything drastic out of regret or pain. Okay?"
To his shock, the noble pulled his hand away.
"I'm fine."
He then laid back down and turned his back to the man.
"Please don't be like this, Cale. It's not healthy."
No response came from the God of Love. This worried his unofficial father even more.
"Just leave me alone."
The cold and distant tone made the assassin frown. It was like the youth was distancing himself again. Why? Was it because of what happened? Or was he closing himself off because he was hurting too much? Did he become this way due to heartbreak? Clenching his fist behind his back, he recalled his promise to his youngest earlier. He needed to give him space.
"I'm here if you need to talk. Okay? You aren't alone."
Leaning forward, he lightly squeezed the redhead's shoulder. When he saw the boy stiffen up at his touch, he immediately let go. His chest ached a lot. Trying to stay calm, he turned on his heel and left the room. There wasn't anything he could do if the other shut him out like this. All anyone could do now was wait and give him the time he needed.
The moment the door closed, liquid light began to pour down the God of Love's cheeks. Yet, his entire body now felt numb.
<I'm sorry, Ron. This is best for everyone.>
No one bothered him the rest of the day. His meals were delivered to him along with some art supplies. However, neither the food nor the artbooks were touched by the end of the night. This worried the rest of his group a lot. After the children went to bed, the holy man took a risk and went to talk to the redhead himself. When he arrived, he saw the red haired entity sitting on the window ledge of his room. He was staring outside with a blank expression. Nervously, he called out to the younger man.
"Y-Your Excellency?"
A hollow red-brown gaze turned towards him. It sent chills down his spine.
-Did you seriously f***ing get rid of your emotions?
Without a word, the young master looked back out the window. Even though it was night, the large cavern was still well lit.
"Won't you talk to me?"
Again there was no response. This caused him to begin to panic. The God of Love was a being who needed love, affection and happiness to survive. If he sealed his feelings away then it was pretty much him slowly committing suicide.
-Please don't shut us all out. I know we f***ed up by not listening to you, but you'll die if you push us all away again. What will your kids do then?
To Saint's dismay, there was no reaction.
-F***! Your Excellency! Don't do this!
"Are you done?"
He flinched at the coldness of the deity's words. Fear filled him which caused him to take a step back. The God of Love was the least dangerous to those he cared about. However, that was only possible if he had emotions. It was his compassion and love that kept him from harming those dear to him. If he removed those feelings, then there was nothing to stop him from lashing out and killing them. In fact, he would become the biggest threat to the mortal world.
"Y-Yes, Your Excellency."
Hastily, he turned on his heel and fled from the room. There was not much time. The only thing that he could do now was contact his lady and hope she had a solution for this impending disaster just waiting to explode. As he was rushing towards his room, he passed by the swordmaster who noticed the distress on the holy man's face.
Hesitating slightly, the single lifer decided he should try and talk to his liege who had hidden himself away in his bedroom. No reply came when he knocked on the door. This caused him to peek inside. The moment he saw the young master was awake, he entered the room.
"Cale-nim?"
Red-browns turned to him and waited for the punk to continue.
"Can we talk?"
Shivering from the coldness in the other's gaze, he bit his lip before taking a step closer. He knew that look from the memories he had been shown. It was the dead look he had back at the orphanage after being abused to the point he tried to get rid of all emotions. That meant he was hurting just as much emotionally as he was back then. Taking a deep breath, he approached the youth and knelt down in front of him. The hollow eyes followed him the entire time.
Gingerly, he touched the redhead's bandaged hand. There was only one chance. He needed to snap him out of this. If he didn't then there would be severe consequences. Especially for his children who relied on him for love and affection. They would lose the father that they knew. In the end, the memories he had received would be the saving grace for everyone. Not just the God's, but the ones from his nephew too.
"Cale- No, Kim Rok Soo."
Finally he saw a reaction, albeit a very faint one. This told him he was doing the right thing.
"I know it hurts."
Meeting the emotionless gaze, he continued.
"In fact, I don't blame you for wanting to stop all the pain."
A small, pained smile appeared on his lips.
"However, if you do that then every single person you've ever cared about or loved will suffer in your place. Especially your children."
His thumb caressed the God of Love's hand.
"What if they fell into despair?"
He could see the other's pupils quake at his words.
"You and I both know that's not what you really want."
Liquid light dribbled down his liege's cheek.
"So please don't do this to yourself. None of us want this."
Reaching up, he wiped the tears off the redhead's face.
"Okay?"
Relief filled him when he saw the youth nod in understanding.
"Good."
Standing up, he looked over to the untouched plate of food.
"I'll have someone get you something to eat. After that you should get some rest. Alright?"
Another nod came as confirmation. Gently he squeezed the noble's hand before adding.
"Tomorrow will be a new and better day. I promise."
Once he saw traces of emotion beginning to show on the redhead's face, he got up and left the room. Briskly, he located the Molan duo who both frowned when they saw him.
"Ron. Beacrox."
"What do you want?"
Ignoring the blades hidden in his question, he replied.
"Can you make Cale-nim something to eat?"
Two sets of browns glare at him suspiciously.
"Of course we can. Why do you ask?"
Not backing down, the swordmaster explained.
"I talked to Cale-nim. He's willing to eat something now. However, he still needs some more space until the morning."
Anger appeared in the older man's eyes.
"You bastard-"
Hastily, he interrupted the assassin by saying.
"I get that you're mad, but I promise I didn't hurt him. Okay?"
There was visible uncertainty on the duo's faces, but the younger of the two quickly disappeared to prepare his dongsaeng some food to eat. As soon as they were alone, the head of the Molan Household growled.
"It was not your place to talk to Cale. Do not overstep the boundaries of your role again."
Shaking his head, the punk reflected back.
"He may see you as a father figure, but he hasn't officially become your son yet. Maybe you should keep that in mind. If you want to change that, then do something to make it permanent."
A smirk formed on his lips while he walked away. His shoulders felt lighter now that he had thrown a verbal punch at the assassin. The night ended in a much more relaxed and relieved manner compared to how the day had started. When the food was delivered to the deity, the Molan duo managed to confirm the presence of emotions on their dear redhead's face. Even if he didn't talk to them, he still ate everything before crawling into his bed and falling asleep.