{Eleanora's P.O.V}
It's true that crying doesn't solve issues
But it sure as hell helps us release.
Those bottled up emotions
And those things we lock away
In a way, it makes us feel better and see better
Helping us to know what to do next
I watched from afar, dressed in a maid's dress, standing under the rain, watching from behind a big tree as grandfather was laid to rest forever. I couldn't show up in person but grandfather wouldn't be happy if his favorite granddaughter wasn't there to accompany him back to where he came from, even if it's at least from afar. Tears left my eyes undisturbed and the rain kept getting heavier including my heart.
I don't want to believe everything is lost because if I do, I'll start to lose myself mentally and it could have a crazy effect on me.
I watched as the people who were there to send Grandpa off were his witch of a second wife and her so called 'offsprings'. I watched as his glass coffin with golden edges was lowered into the earth under the pouring rain. Everyone had their black umbrella to shield them from the pouring rain.
"Today, we gather to send King Azad, a great king of his time who outshone his father and made this nation a better place to live in, to the place where he came from. We all came to the Earth with nothing and we shall return with nothing. It is indeed a sorrow to send our beloved king to the land of his ancestors but we should know that he would forever live on in our hearts as that one king that restored political and economical peace during his time. May his soul rest in peace". I could hear the priest say.
I watched as the witch hypocritically fell into the rain and started screaming cause I won't call that a cry. It sounded more like screeching to me. Her son, Duke Steven, held her while her daughter in law, Duchess Leila, covered the both of them with their own umbrella. I saw as Annabelle was in the embrace of her husband, who put his hand on her little baby bump. On seeing that, My hand automatically touched my belly and when I remembered that there's no one in there any more, I fell to my knees, hugging the body of the big tree like my life depended on it. I broke further into tears.
I stopped looking, turning my back towards the scene, I put my head into my hands and I broke down more. The more I cried the heavier my heart seemed.
Why am I so pathetic? Why is my life like this? Why am I so rich, yet so poor? I can't even keep who I want with me then what's the essence of being a princess? What's the use?
I was tired of thinking. My head was aching badly and my heart was in my mouth. The cold slowly seeped into my body but the sorrow and pain balanced it off. My hair was wet and my whole clothing was drenched but who cares?
"Your highness... We lost the baby. I'm so sorry" I remember what the doctor said as I fell back unto the bed in shock.
"She hasn't been moving for the past five hours, Doctor, what's going on?" I remember Ciara's cry.
"Does my husband know... That I lost my baby?" I remember asking the doctor.
"He doesn't know yet but as soon as he comes, I'll let him know, your highness" The doctor had replied me.
I laid in the grass, the rain not having any mercy on poor me, my eyes going dry cause there were no tears left to cry. I shut my eyes, allowing my wet hair to cover my face.
I'm tired. Of everything.
_____________________✍️
After lying there for a long while and the rain had finally stopped raining, I stood to my feet. I wasn't awake neither was I asleep. I was just...there.
I rose up from where I laid as stood up, turning to see if there was anybody standing by Grandpa's grave. Nobody was there and his grave hasn't been constructed. All I could see was an open dug up ground in which I knew Grandpa was in. I walked slowly towards Grandpa's graveside. The cold breeze blowing hard on me, making the clothes I was wearing colder but that was the last thing to bother me. Grandpa's graveside was beside grandma's completed grave.
There was nobody in the royal cemetery and all I could hear was the sound of my own breathing. On getting to his graveside, I could see his face vaguely through the glass coffin. There was a huge golden cross on his coffin which prevented one to see other parts of his body. All I could see vaguely was his head. He looked like he was sleeping and I could just tap and wake him up. That's how grandmother looked too when she left. She looked like she was in a deep slumber too.
I sat on grandma's grave which was beside grandpa's uncompleted own. I tried to smile for I know Grandpa wasn't going to be happy seeing me in pain.
To hell with that! I thought, falling to my knees, the puddle I fell on splashing on my face but not disturbing the tears flowing from my eyes.
"Grandpa... I'm here again" I started, gripping tightly the grass which I knelt on. "This unfilial child is here to say goodbye to you...I'm sorry I came this late...I... I was... I was just being childish and... and unnecessarily angry because I thought you cheated on Grandma... Saying that again to my own hearing makes me feel sick. Who am I to be the judge between you two?..." I trailed off.
I wiped my tears with the back of my cold hand. "I'm here to say... I'm sorry. For being so unfillial... I'm sorry. For being so stupidly arrogant, I'm sorry. For not being a good grandchild and taking your presence for levity, I'm sorry. You don't know how bad I'm being punished for this, you don't how many secret tears I've cried and pretended to be strong. You don't-" I suddenly started coughing, it was so bad that I could feel my throat being twisted. The cough was enough to shut me up.
I laid down in between the two graves when the cough stopped. "That was a good way to shut me up, Grandpa" I said laughing to my own dry sense of humor.
"I'm tired" I said as I started feeling dizzy.
"and I'm tired of everything" I said again to no one in particular. It wasn't long before I found myself dozing off.
_______________________✍️
"Nora". I heard someone whisper as I felt a little tap on my legs.
"Eleana?" I heard someone whisper again and that was enough to wake me up, immediately blocking out the sunlight that was rushing into my eyes with the back of my palm, It took me a while to see who was tapping me to consciousness.
"Nanny?" I called as I sat up and rested my back against grandma's grave.
"Come here, my child. You'd catch a cold if you don't have a dry clothing on you". Nanny said, signalling me to come over as she sat on Granny's grave.
I moved closer to her, resting my head on her laps as I felt a dry blanket cover me from the cold. I smiled and looked at Grandpa's grave which was beside us and tried to crack a smile.
"How did you find me, Nanny?" I asked her, even though I wasn't expecting her to be here with me, I felt loved and supported.
"Mary, Ciara and Kalia said you went missing after the doctor told you the news. Ciara was specifically worried because according to her, she said you were silent for five good hours before disappearing. They all begged me to come look for you. It wasn't hard to put two and two together when I found out today's your grandfather's burial". She explained to me and I nodded.
"How are you feeling now, Nora?" I heard Nanny ask as her hand patted my wet hair gently.
"I just lost my grandpa and my unborn child, how do you think I'll feel?" I asked her, trying hard to remain calm.
"My child, I understand how terrible you feel right now. I understand how much you blame yourself for not being the best granddaughter or the best mother to be, but those things happen. They happen and when they do they make us feel like we're terrible and those people left because they couldn't bear with us anymore" I heard her say and I couldn't help but nod in agreement.
"But Nora," she started as she lifted my head so my eyes could meet hers. "Life has to go on. Don't focus on what's gone, focus on what's alive around you. You see, time keeps ticking and life goes on everytime. If you don't learn to move on from that pain and guilt, you'll be stuck in that timezone forever and it would prevent you from seeing the beautiful things around you that still exist. So my child, Forgive yourself and forgive those that left you without saying goodbye. Move on with life. Don't let anybody determine your happiness. If there's any body that's hurting you and making you feel hurt, forgive them, not for them but for yourself. Because you deserve the best even if the world isn't showing you that best. And you deserve to be happy even if no one cares for your happiness. When you're mentally fine and happy no matter the pain, everything will move on fine, okay?". Nanny said, each words giving me power and strength to keep going and be strong for myself.
I nodded and hugged her tightly. She reminds me of grandma who once said to Aunty Black when Aunty Black wanted to kill herself because her husband publicly broke up with her. Grandma said "A woman who says she's not going to keep on living because her husband cheated on her is just being foolish. A cheating husband is like rain and it rains everywhere. You can't say because it rains you'll never enjoy the atmosphere ever again. You just have to learn to deal with the rain"
I'll forgive Dure. Even though I know what he did hurt me, but I'll forgive him. Leave everything in the past and make him see why I'm irreplaceable. I'll do my best to love him and be there for him even when it's hard. Cause he was there for me during my hard times. I would be there when he needs me the most.
"Don't worry, my child. Your grandparents will watch over you from wherever they are. And I know that they'll always be proud of you". I heard Nanny say, patting my hair more gently than she did before.
"Are you ready to go home, your highness?" I heard a masculine voice say. I looked up and found Lucas. He also seemed to be drenched by the rain, panting like he just ran a marathon.
"Yes, Lucas. She's ready to go home". Nanny responded on my behalf, helping me to rise to my feet.
She handed me over to Lucas, who threw his dry blazer on my shoulders before allowing me to rest on his wet self. I was still weak so I had no choice but to rest on his body.
"Take her home and have Mary and Ciara to make her hot tea and bay soup. I need to go home and pack few of my things. I'll be coming over to your place tomorrow, till you're emotionally, mentally and physically better". Nanny said, before giving me a final nod, allowing Lucas and I to walk away.
___________________✍️
"We're home, your highness". I heard Lucas say. I nodded and gathered little strength to get out of the car myself.
"PRINCESS!". I heard three people shout at the same time. I turned around to see Mary, Ciara and Kalia running towards me.
Before I could even tell them to stop in their tracks, the three of them fell on me, engaging me in a tight group hug.
"I...need... air" I managed to choke out and they released me.
"We were so worried, Princess". Kalia said, swinging my hand as she pretended to clean a tear.
"We had to call Prince Green and tell him the situation". Ciara confessed.
"He sent Nanny to look for you on his behalf". Mary told me.
"She came". I responded as I playfully pulled Kalia and Ciara's cheek. They looked so excited to see me.
"What of the doctor?... Has he gone?" I asked Mary, remembering that I sneaked out from his supervision.
"Umm...He...The doctor... Umm...He-" Mary stuttered but Kalia helped her out by interrupting her.
"He left, Princess. Mary said he left".
"That's good. What of my husband?" I asked them.
"We haven't seen him since yesterday morning. When you slept off, he had a conversation with the doctor and left in a hurry. We haven't seen him since yesterday morning. That's why we were more worried when we didn't see you in bed this morning. I was so worried". Ciara said, looking worried indeed.
"I'm fine, darling. Here I am, standing Hale and hearty". I assured them.
"Welcome back, Princess". Lorenzo said, giving a little bow.
"What about your master?" I asked him.
"He should be back today, your highness". Lorenzo replied.
"While we wait for Master, we need to get you warmed up, Princess". Mary said, Ciara and Kalia nodding in agreement as they all dragged me inside, excited than ever before.
_____________________✍️
"Princess, it's cold. Why don't you come inside?" I heard Mary say. I turned around to look at her.
"Don't worry about me, Mary. Just go in and rest. My husband isn't back yet"
"But you've been sitting here for the past two hours, Princess. The cold-"
"Don't worry about me. Go inside". I ordered her. She curtised, walked up to me and dropped the blanket on my shoulders before walking away.
I looked at the ring on my finger as I remembered our wedding day. Then I smiled and sat down on the stairs as the rain was getting heavier.
I've been waiting for him for the past two hours now, and he still hasn't shown any sign of coming. I've tried calling his number but it was switched off.
Just then, his car drove in and stopped right in front of the stairs. On seeing him, I ran down to go meet him. So the rain wouldn't touch him.
As he got out from the car he looked at me and smiled "Have you been waiting for me?" He said, his hand caressing my cheek. I wanted to pull away for his loving behaviour was quite expected but his eyes shot me a glare that made me stand still. I discovered he wanted me to play along. So I did.
"Yes, my love". I replied. Then he kissed me on the forehead, allowing the kiss to linger.
"You're such a beautiful couple". I could hear the driver say.
My husband smiled and looked at me, then turned to the driver and asked him to go.
Once the car was gone, his loving eyes became bitterly cold. The familiar cold stare he gave in the past.
"Where have you been, my love?" I asked him, trying to take off his blazer just like a loving wife would.
"Since when do I tell you my whereabouts?" He asked, slapping my hand off his blazer.
"Since when did you stop telling me your whereabouts?" I rephrased the question for him.
"I'm not in the mood for your interrogations. Move aside, I'm tired". He said to me as he intended to move forward but I refused to leave his front.
"You're looking for trouble". He said silently.
"You still haven't said were you've been". I reminded him.
"Move aside" he warned but I wouldn't burge.
"One" I still didn't burge.
"Two". I still didn't burge.
"Three". He said and before I could react his hand hit me hard and my nose started bleeding. I fell hard on my knees into the rain.
"BOSS, YOU FORGOT SOMETHING" We heard the driver shout. I looked up and saw Lin running towards us.
My husband ran to my side and held me. In no time the driver was in front of us.
"My love are you okay?" He asked me.
"AH! IS HER HIGHNESS ALRIGHT?" Lin said as he looked at both of us and helped me up.
"Don't worry about her, she'll be fine". My husband told the driver.
"I trust you boss. Your love for each other is what I wish for". The driver said before handing over another phone to my husband which I knew quite well, wasn't his.
"Thank you. I'll take her from here". My husband said and Lin backed off.
Lin watched us display our loving affection as a couple until he could see us no more.
I'mmediately, Lin was out of sight, Dure dropped me, allowing me to fall to the floor before intending to walk away but I held his hand before he could. I helped myself up by standing to my feet.
"I know you have a mistress, Dure. And I know that you're coming from her place. I just want you to know that I can cope with you cheating on me and I'm ready to work harder and be better. I believe that if I work at it, I'll be ten times better than your mistress". I told him, my eyes locking his, before I dropped his hand.
But he held my right hand before it finally dropped to my side. His stone cold eyes freezing mine in place. "You are the mistress, Nora and no matter how hard you try, you'll never be better than her". He told me. Low. Cold. Deadly. Then he threw my hand away from his and walked away.
It's fine if he doesn't accept me now. I'll keep trying till he finally accepts me and we can go back to who we use to be.