A/N I was able to find sometime to write today. Enjoy!
Buster's POV
Hearing Red talk and watching Little Bird's reactions felt like a new form of torture. The more I heard about Drake the more I want to rip him limb from limb. My poor Little Bird has survived so much, and she has no idea how strong she really is. I'm going to show her. She's going to realize she is so much more than her tortured past.
"Indi, you're not them. You've more than proven that. Stop trying to take on the guilt that only belongs to your dad and Drake." Red said.
Bird, put her face in her hands and I could tell she was crying. I reached over and pulled her hands away from her face and she looked up into my eyes. "You're not them Little Bird. You're so much more." She shocked me when she let out a cry and threw her hands around my neck burying her face in my neck. I froze for a few seconds and then I reached and gently picked up my woman. I expected her to possibly fight me, but she allowed it. I sat on her bed and sat her on my lap.
Felicia cleared her throat causing everyone to turn from Bird to look at her. "I think that is enough for now. How about we pick this back up tomorrow." Red gave her a nod, "Is that okay with you Indi?"
Indi nodded her head. Felicia gave me a small smile before gathering her things and quietly leaving. Indi's shoulders were still shaking from her sobs.
Screw spoke up, "I'm gonna help Red into a wheelchair and then take her to get some fresh air. Doc said it would be good for her to get some vitamin D after her being inside so much." It only took them a few minutes to exit.
When the door closed, I slowly adjusted Little Bird so that we were laying down and she was still in my arms. I began rubbing circles on her back until I noticed her sobs were getting quieter and slowing down. With that, I gently pulled her head away from my neck so that I could look into her eyes, "Talk to me Little Bird." I pleased with her.
She took a deep breath, "I've just never experienced these things in my whole life. I don't want to do with them."
"What haven't you experienced."
"Understanding, forgiveness, being cared for, but mostly feeling safe. I cannot remember anytime I ever felt safe. Certainly not growing up and even after I escaped them, I was always looking over my shoulder waiting for the monsters to jump out and say boo. I was so uncomfortable coming here. Usually, I would say it was because of all the men. I've never felt comfortable around men, how could I when the men who were supposed to be my protectors were the ones I needed protecting from." Indi shrugged with that, while she was talking, she'd taken my hand and was drawing circles on it. I loved her initiating touch with me and the skin contact. "There was something else though. Something I could figure out. When you were around me or just watching me that feeling was stronger. After I left, I spent months trying to figure out what that feeling was. Finally, I figured it out, I felt safe. That's how foreign it was to me, that I couldn't even figure it out. You make me feel more. Something I never thought I would be able to feel, after everything." She got quiet after that.
I puffed out my chest a bit at the knowledge she felt safest around me. Plus, she felt more for me. I can tell these things scared her. I got how feeling things for me would scare her, but not how feeling safe would. "Why does it scare you that I make you feel safe?"
She looked down and her fingers that hadn't stopped drawing patterns on my hand. "Because, what if you change your mind? What if you get tired of me? What if you decide I'm too broken? What if you are disgusted when you see the scars that I have? What if you all kick me out because you decide all my baggage isn't worth the danger it puts you in? What if..."
She was working herself into a frenzy and I could tell panic was setting in, so I decided to interrupt her. "Whoa, slow down Little Bird. Breath for me." I took a few deep breaths with her.
"I survived that Hell, but I don't know if I could survive losing this. I've never been comfortable with anyone touching me, let alone any men." She looked up into my eyes and saw the tears there, "But, It's different with you. I feel safe in your arms. I feel cared for. That scares me more than anything." She confessed.
"I can see why you would have these fears after what happened to you." I assured her. "There something I haven't had time to tell you yet. I claimed you as my old lady in front of my brothers before we left to get Red." She gasped at my confession and looked confused. "Do you know what it means for me to claim you as my old lady?"
She nodded, "Yes, Amelia, Cass, and Ember explained it to me when I was here for the wedding. Don't you have to ask me first?"
"Normally yes, but with what was going on I wanted to be sure they were going to help you with every resource we have." I explained.
She started to pull away from me, "So you only did to so your brothers would help me?"
I tightened my arms around her so she would stay in place. "That was part of it yes, but I wanted you to be my old lady even if it didn't help to make sure you got all the help you deserved. My brothers are all good men, but I wanted to be positive that they would do it. I had to protect you. I only did it then without talking to you first because time was short and I wasn't sure what your reaction would be to it. You mean everything to me Little Bird."
"You barely know you me." She argues.
"That more you feel for me? I feel that for you too. I know things between us is going to take time. I'll be as patient as you need me to be and wait as long as you need me to. You're worth the wait Little Bird. I'm going to work every day at helping you to see how strong you are and to pieces together your broken pieces. I promise." Hopefully she could see the truth in my words.
"I think I'd like that." She whispered.
Then for the second time today she shocked me, she leaned up a little and kissed my cheek. I know I had a big goofy grin on my face. My Little Bird was opening up to me and her lips on my skin felt amazing.
"Thank you. I never thought I'd have this." She told me.
"Well, you'll never have to worry about not having it again." I assure her. "So, I claimed you as my old lady. In MC's that is greater than being married. I meant it when I said you meant everything to me. Getting to know each other will come in time. We'll take things slow. You set the pace."
She smiled at that. "You're like my very own monster slayer. Determined not only to destroy my physical monsters but also the mental ones." It seemed she was finally getting it, but then she had to add on, "I don't deserve any of this."
I frowned at that. "Yes, you do, Little Bird," I could see she was exhausted and needing more rest. We'll have to continue this conversation later. "How about you relax and try and get some sleep.
She nodded, but when I started to get up, she gripped onto my shirt. "Please, stay with me." She begged her eyes going big.
I was powerless to deny her. "Of course." I pulled he into my chest again and alternated running my fingers through her air and gently rubbing her back trying to help calm her.
Slowly she relaxed more and more falling asleep in my arms. I would do anything for her to sleep in my arms like this the rest of my life. Well, minus the hospital bed and maybe less clothes.
A soft knock at the door drew my attention. Cass was standing at the window. I motioned for her to come in. she had a small smile on her face taking in me and Bird curled up together in the bed.
"Hawk asked me to let you know he needs to talk to you in church." She whispered to me.
I looked down at My Little Bird sleeping peacefully in my arms. I didn't want to leave her alone. Cass must of seen the dilemma in my eyes, "I'll stay with her so she's not alone." She smiled at me.
I nodded to her. I leaned down and kiss Bird on the top of her head before slowly extricating myself from her bodies and bed. I made my way towards the door but stopped once I got to it turning back to look at her one more time.
"I promise I'll stay with her until you can come back to her." Cass assures me.
With that I turn and walk down the hall.