So I changed the title of this story. I hope you like it :) I just felt this was more appropriate.
Just a reminder: I don't read comments. If you have something you want to say to me, please message me directly! I turned off my notifications because the amount of comments became overwhelming.
I stormed off the deck and back to my room. I slammed my door shut behind me and threw myself on the bed. I couldn't believe Azrael actually came to talk to me. What the hell was he thinking? Didn't he know I hated him? How could he think I would respond positively to him? Why did he think it would be acceptable for him to show up here?
I didn't want to think about him anymore, though I knew my attempts were in vain. I thought about him all the time and to put a face to him was even worse. Now I knew what he really looked like and of course he just had to be perfect. Sure, Liam and Pierce were handsome, but Azrael was different. He was a dangerous mix of dark and light. It made me more curious about him which wasn't a good thing. I should hate everything about him. I should hate him for what he did to me, but I couldn't. Not really. I was angry and rightfully so, but when I really looked at the situation, he hadn't done anything to me. He took care of me. Sure, he could be a misogynistic pig, but did that make him bad? I hated that I went from no men in my life to too many men. Maybe it was the alcohol clouding my judgement, but I wondered if I was doing myself any favors by staying a virgin. Maybe it was making me too naive, too vulnerable. Maybe it was the main thing driving my immaturity. I was quick tempered in any situation that involved a relationship, but maybe that wasn't fair of me.
I let all these things happen to me, but I hadn't controlled any of these situations. I wanted to be in control of something in my life and if losing my virginity was the one thing I could fully control, then I would. I wasn't going to let the Bible or anyone else tell me how I should lead my sex life.
I hopped up; a fresh determination coursed through me. I headed for the door and paused for a moment. I didn't want to seem needy or desperate to anyone. I just wanted that part of my life gone. Would the man I chose think that's weird? I didn't think it was weird, but I did have an odd feeling that I wanted it to be Liam. Pierce was right. I might not fully know the real Liam, but we were connected and I felt it on every level. It was like meeting someone new, but knowing everything about them.
A quick knock on my door caused me to jump back and release the handle. I regained my composure and pulled the door open. Liam stood on the other side looking at me with something close to lust buried in his ruby eyes, but I could have been mistaken.
"You need to stop thinking those things," he insisted.
I cocked my head to the side, confused as to what he was talking about.
"Everything. I can hear every last detail and you're making it impossible to ignore."
I was sure my cheeks would have turned bright red if I was still human.
"It's not who I am anymore and I don't want this last part of the old Anna."
"It's not a bad thing."
"I didn't say it was, but it's not who I am now."
He nodded absently. "So what do you want?"
I bit my lip softly and looked him over once more. Physically, it was the man I fell in love with, but I knew it wasn't him. I knew I didn't love Liam, but the bond we shared was deeper than anything. I fully trusted him without having talked to him for more than half an hour. He created me and he knew everything about me. I felt him in my mind and he saw my memories.
"You," I finally responded.
He looked at me for a moment before he took a step forward and closed the door behind him. I barely heard the faint click of the lock. I was too focused on what I was about to do.
"You're sure about this?"
"I'm sure."
"Don't touch her."
I spun around to see Azrael standing much closer than I would have thought.
"I told you to leave!" I exclaimed.
"Who the hell are you?" Liam questioned.
"I did leave." I didn't miss that he completely ignored Liam.
"Then why are you back?"
"Did you honestly think I would let him touch you? You would have been better off going to Pierce."
"I can't believe you!"
"You know him?" Liam asked.
"You do too. He lived in you for two years."
I probably should have approached that more rationally, but I was irritated that Azrael was going to ruin yet another aspect of my life.
"You killed my parents?" Liam asked.
"I kill everyone. It's what I do."
I had not thought of it that way. It was true though. His entire existence hinged on people dying.
I wondered if Liam had any words. He stared at Azrael as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Azrael," he muttered.
I was shocked he knew of Azrael.
"Yes. I suggest you not come near her again unless your bond requires it."
Liam nodded once and turned to leave the room. I stayed put, dumbfounded by his instant compliance. Liam did not strike me as the type to just do what others said. He was a king! He was meant to be headstrong. Perhaps I underestimated Azrael.
"As for you," Azrael started.
I glared at him. "Don't even think of giving me a command. I don't know why he listened to you, but I won't."
"Of course you won't. I wouldn't expect anything less from you."
"Then what do you want," I asked, exasperated by his round about way of talking.
"I want you to be honest with me."
"About what?"
"I know you still love me."
"I never loved you."
He rolled his eyes. "I'm an archangel. I know when you're lying."
"I didn't. I loved the idea of you. You found out what I liked and fed off of it."
"I didn't do that. I asked you what you liked, you responded. That's how I got to know you."
"You make it sound so typical!"
"It was. You're making it something it wasn't."
"So this is all in my head? You didn't buy me and completely ruin my life?"
"I bought you, but like I said before, I saved your life. That is not something I am accustomed to doing."
"Then why did you bother doing it?"
"Because I was in a position to do so."
"Why me," I refined.
"I only went there with the intention of keeping up appearances. When I saw you I knew you were different."
"Different how?"
"At the time, I didn't know. I didn't realize until after you were sick."
"I was human."
"Not fully. You are more pure than you think."
"Why won't you just leave me alone?"
"If you can give me one example of when I treated you poorly, I will leave you alone."
I thought over my year with him. There had to be at least once that he treated me poorly.
Just one time was all I needed.
I crossed my arms and chewed on my lip while I thought about a time.
"Every time Mariah came around you were horrible to me."
"I was irritated."
"You said all I needed was one time you treated me poorly."
"I can't be in a bad mood?"
I shrugged. "Rules are rules, Azrael." I dragged out his name.
"We both know you still love me even if you won't admit it."
"Believe what you want."
He stepped closer to me, close enough to make me want to step back. Even though I didn't want to show him any weakness, I took a step back.
"Your actions are enough to let me know I'm right."
I shook my head and held my ground. I felt my chest tighten at his close proximity. I didn't want to love him. Not at all. Still, I knew he was right.
"It doesn't matter."
"Of course it matters."
He moved a lock of hair away from my face just like he always did. I had to remind myself he lied to me about some major things.
"Don't," I said.
"I can't help it."
"Then you better learn to help it. I don't think I can ever forgive what you did to me."
"Fine. I'm not giving up though."
"You can try whatever you want. It's never going to happen."
He took another step closer to me, bushing just slightly against me. I hated that my blood seemed to flow faster when he was that close. I felt every nerve in my system clench in anticipation and I found myself wanting him to do something. I told him no and that it would never happen, but I knew if he tried anything I would give in instantly. He was my weakness regardless of his physical form. I could admit that much.
"You're lying again. I know you, Anna. Do not forget I spent a year in your master's mind. I know every last detail of your life."
I took a deep breath to steady myself. "You didn't even know my last name."
"I knew it. I wasn't going to let on how much I knew about you."
"Why?"
"Because then the council would have found out exactly what you meant to me and everything would have been ruined."
"Isn't that exactly what happened?"
"You would be dead if they knew exactly how much you meant to me."
"Why?" I asked suspiciously.
"Liam is still not aware of how Pierce freed him from my hold?"
I shook my head.
He sat on the edge of my bed. I thought about protesting his intrusion, but I desperately wanted answers. The entire situation was enough to make the most logical person's head spin.
"You need to start at the beginning."
"Fair enough," he conceded. "Two years ago, Liam's parents were ruling. They were acting behind the council which never points to anything positive. The council approached me and asked for my help in finding out what was going on."
"And did you find anything?"
"I did. They were plotting a war against the wolves. I had to put a stop to it."
"So you killed them using Liam's body. Do you have any idea how messed up that is?"
He scoffed. "You're so quick to believe I'm the enemy when just two nights ago you were completely in love with me."
I crossed my arms and scowled.
"I didn't kill them using his body. I killed them in my own form. His hands are clean. Don't worry about that."
"Then why doesn't he remember it?"
"Because he was unconscious. I couldn't leave him awake."
"I never wanted this," I muttered.
"I know."
Suddenly, a thought hit me like a ton of bricks.
"Did Uriel know?"
"Of course he knew. His standing is higher than mine. I wouldn't have been able to hide if I wanted to."
I shook my head absently. Everything made sense now. When I was dying, how else would Uriel have gotten there so quickly?
"Did anyone else know about this?"
"Donny and Richard. They are angels as well."
"Archangels?"
"No. Heaven could not spare another archangel."
I slumped down on my bed next to him. Regardless of everything else that happened in the last twenty-four hours, I still felt comfortable around him even if I wanted to be furious with him. Being angry with him didn't change my overall emotions towards him. As much as I wanted differently, I couldn't changed what I felt for him and I hated myself for it.
"Look, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I don't deserve you and grovel at your feet. That's not who I am and you know that, but I will apologize for the way things have happened. I never intended to hurt you and I think you know that."
"Why was Liam so obedient when you told him not to touch me?"
"Because he knows better than to cross an archangel. He knows the consequences."
"So any time someone shows an interest in me you'll be right there to smite them?"
"No. Just him."
"See, I don't believe that. In the entire time I've known you, I don't think I've ever seen you give up on something."
"It's not in my personality."
"So then I'm right to assume you would never give me up and let me be happy with someone else."
"I have been in existence for a very long time, Anna. I don't think you realize exactly how old I am. In all that time, I have never come across someone more honest and real. I can't let that go."
"What if I don't want to be with you?"
"I know that's not true."
"Maybe it is."
"If it is, if you truly did not want to be with me, I would let you go."
"I don't know if I believe you."
"Because you're stubborn."
I shot him a pointed look. "Yeah, well, apparently you are too."
"Apparently."
I picked at my nails, still very aware of how close he was to me. I found it strange that I still recognized the way he smelled. As creepy and bizarre as that sounded, he did still smell like himself. I could even hear the way he spoke. Liam had a strong Irish accent and Azrael came close to it, but it clearly wasn't his usual voice. His was much closer to a refined English tone. He sounded like one of the well-educated men my parents had over for dinner parties and literature discussions. I had to admit that it was alluring. He was a toxic mix of everything I could have wanted in a man which was unfortunate.
Even though we were silent, it wasn't awkward. I didn't know why I thought it would be awkward since it never was.
"Honestly, Anna, you know me. Everything I told you was true."
"Like what? Everything I knew about your family or your past was actually Liam's past."
"When you knew my favorite colors and book, I think that's when I knew for sure I was in love with you."
"You're the one that said that didn't mean I knew you."
"I said it wasn't everything. You know the kind of being I am. That means more than anything."
"I don't know," I wavered.
He slipped my fingers between his and held my hand tightly. I knew he enjoyed holding my hand though I didn't know why.
"Why do you always hold my hand?" I asked quietly.
"You don't know much about my role, do you?"
I shook my head.
"Kiss of death was not a literary term. It originally referred to me. I was created after the Fall and the way I collected was by touch."
"Is that how you still collect?"
"It is."
And it clicked.
"So, every time you touch someone they die?"
"Every single time. Except with you.
"Why doesn't it kill me?"
"I don't know. By all means, you should have been dead the night I bought you. That's why everyone was so surprised you lived."
"But you held Bridget."
"I held her in Liam's form. It still should have had some affect on her, but that child is an anomaly in and of herself."
"Am I the only person you've touched that hasn't died?"
"You have no idea what it feels like to finally be able to touch someone as me."
"How did you know it wouldn't kill me?" I asked. My temper flared a little at his careless behavior.
"When you were human, touching me even in Liam's body should have killed you. I had a feeling then you were different."
I shook my head a little and absently played with his fingers. There were so many things I wanted to say, but I didn't know where to start. The entire situation was so weird.
"So why didn't Rachel or Crystal die," I asked, uncomfortable that that was my first question.
"I never touched Rachel. They broke up just before I came along."
"Well what about Crystal?"
"She was very sick and weak afterwards. She probably survived because she was a vampire."
"So what would happen if I wanted to sleep with you," I barely managed to mumbled.
My heart felt like it was in my throat, forcing me to breathe slightly faster. I couldn't believe I actually voiced my thoughts, but they were out and there was nothing I could do to take them back.
"Anna, I," he cut himself off and turned towards me. "I don't know how to respond to that."
I shrugged. My entire confidence streak killed in that one sentence.
"It's fine. I get it."
He pulled his hand away from mine and gripped the back of my neck, pulling me as close as he could. There was no hesitation in the way he kissed me. It didn't feel any different than it had before. If anything, it was more intense, more intentional than ever before.
I slipped a leg over and straddled his lap. His free hand instantly went to the small of my back. I wove my fingers into his soft, onyx hair, bringing him as close as I could. Everything in me screamed to go further. I wanted him, needed him so desperately it scared me. I tried to hate him, but I couldn't. It didn't matter that he was a jerk sometimes. I could excuse the poor temper in high stress situations, maybe.
I broke away for a moment to look into his glacier eyes.
"This can't be just one time. I need you," I admitted.
He cupped my cheek and brushed his thumb over my pale skin. "I love you more than anything, Anna. I won't let you go."
He pinned me to the bed, keeping most of his weight off me, but I wanted to feel him on me. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer. He abandoned my lips in favor of my neck. I never realized how good it would feel to have him kiss and nip at the spot just above my collarbone. His hand gripped my rib cage, but I knew he was only being cautious with me. I knew he still wasn't sure exactly how far to take things and he wasn't going to risk a rage from me.
"Azrael," I breathed. "Take my dress off."
There was no need to tell him twice. He pulled away from my neck and sat back on his knees. He unbuttoned my dress slowly, savoring each inch of exposed flesh. My chest rose and fell with anticipation. He clearly enjoyed my reaction. A smirk that I was used to seeing on Liam's face found its way onto Azrael's lips and I thought it was just as sexy, if not more so.
It was odd that all of his mannerisms were identical. The only thing that changed was his body.
"You're so beautiful," he admired.
I bit my lip, but it wasn't enough to stop the smile.
"You think?"
He leaned over and kissed my neck. He slowly slipped my arms out of the sleeves and started to push the dress down my body. The further down he pushed the dress, the further down his lips went.
"I have seen Eden," he commented. He kissed down my stomach and lifted my hips a little. He tugged the dress down my legs and tossed it somewhere behind him. "Compared to you, it's a desolate wasteland."
He placed one last kiss on my hip before coming back up my body. He locked his eyes with mine for a moment. He reached under me to undo the clasp of my bra. I lifted my arms so he could pull it off. He discarded it on the floor and turned his full attention to me.
I slipped my hands under his suit jacket and untucked on his shirt. My fingers worked from the bottom up to reveal his upper body. He was far more muscular than his suit let on.
I felt him watching my every move and I wondered if he was as worked up as I was. He seemed to be more in control than I was and I wanted to change that. I wanted him to lose his careful composure.
I ran my hands down his exposed chest and stomach. "Take it off," I said softly.
I watched his muscles tense under his smooth skin. I admired his sun kissed tone; it was like he spent a few long days in the sun, but I knew it was probably evenly toned. It was a color I could achieve only when I was human and it made me feel even more more pale.
"I want to hear you say it, Anna."
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.
"What?"
"Tell me how you feel about me."
My breathing hitched.
"I . . ."
"You," he prompted.
I took a deep breath and searched his eyes. I wasn't used to them, but I still knew him.
"I love you, Azrael," I whispered.
He captured my lips and snaked his arm underneath me to draw me closer. My chest pressed against his, shooting an electrifying pulse through my body.
He pulled away. "I love you so much, Anna."
"I'm nervous," I admitted. I knew I had nothing to worry about with him. I could admit anything to him and I knew that.
"Do you want me to stop?"
I shook my head.
"Good," he said with that signature smirk. "It would be damn near impossible to stop right now."
I laughed lightly and traced my fingers over his well-defined and muscular arms. "I just don't want to disappoint you."
"You could never disappoint me."
"But I don't know what I'm doing."
"That doesn't matter. Just enjoy it, sweetheart."
I half smiled at him and nodded. He kissed me again before working his way down my neck. I felt his hand trail over my ribs to gently cup my breast. His lips travelled over to join his hand. A sharp intake of breath let him know the action caught me off guard. I ran my fingers up the back of his neck and latched them in his hair. He switched sides, reigniting the flame he lit.
He lightly raked his teeth over my nipple, drawing out a soft moan.
"Take these off," he said as he tugged at my underwear.
I lifted my hips and slipped them down my legs. While I was closer to him, I felt exactly how much he wanted me. I bit my lip and decided I wasn't going to just lay back and do nothing. I wanted to please him.
I worked on his belt and dress pants to undo them and pushed slightly on him to get him to stand. I went to my knees in front of him and tugged his pants and underwear all the way down. His shoes and socks were already gone and he kicked the rest away.
"You don't have to do this," he said.
I smirked. "I don't think you realize how much I want to."
I turned my attention to the appendage in front of me. I had nothing to compare it to, but I felt like he was well-endowed by most people's standard.
I ran my tongue over my fangs, a little nervous that I could nick him. I had never tried anything like this before and I had no idea what I was doing, but I let my instincts take over. He said I could never disappoint him and I fully believed him.
I licked my lips hesitantly and took just a small portion in my mouth. It wasn't like anything I had ever tasted before. There was just a bead of saltiness that touched my tongue. I used to hate salt, but could learn to like this.
I concentrated so much on holding my fangs back that I almost ignored what I was trying to accomplish. I rolled my tongue over the part in my mouth, earning me a light moan from him. I did it again and took a little more in my mouth. His fingers wrapped in my hair, but he didn't force my head any further.
The longer he let me experiment, the better it seemed to be for him. I could hear his heavy breathing when he started to let go of a little control, his hips swayed towards my mouth.
"Anna," he groaned as his fist tightened in my hair. "Stop."
I pulled away from him to look up. He offered me a hand to help me up. I took it, but silently questioned the action.
He laid me back on the bed and climbed between my legs. He went right back to kissing my neck, but I wanted to know what I was doing wrong and why he made me stop.
"Did I do something wrong?" I asked.
He glanced up at me with a smirk and shook his head. He continued his path down my body and gently nipped at my inner thigh.
"I wouldn't have lasted much longer if you kept that up."
"Sorry," I muttered.
He laughed lightly. "It's a good thing, sweetheart. One of these days I won't stop you."
"Yeah?"
"Mhm. But for now, I want to taste you before I take you."
A deep clenching in the pit of my stomach was all I needed move my hips towards him slightly. The slightest touch from him sent my body into euphoria and he hadn't done anything that would warrant that kind of response. Just looking at him made me crave him so deeply.
He brushed his lips over my center, but I wasn't prepared for exactly how good it would feel. He slipped a finger in me, but it wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. It only added to the mounting pressure. He ran his free fingertips over my inner thigh before adding a second finger. I gasped in response, but quickly adjusted.
"Is that okay?" He asked.
"Yes," I managed to choke out.
He returned his lips to my body, pushing me closer and closer to the edge. I gasped for air and moaned. My fingers locked in his hair, but I needed him to stop. I knew I was right on the brink and he had made me stop so wasn't it only fair I returned the favor?
"Azrael," I begged. "Stop."
"I want you to come, Anna."
He didn't give me time to respond. His mouth returned to me with more determination than before. My hips found the rhythm of his fingers and before I could stop or try to think, it was like a gate was broken and every nerve was electrified and on fire at once. I couldn't stop myself from screaming his name which I knew was exactly what he wanted. He wanted me writhing in pleasure below him just like I was and I realized I wanted the exact same thing.
I started to come down from my high and barely noticed him wipe his mouth off before returning to kiss me. I pulled him closer and deepened the kiss as much as I could. My body was still on fire from his attention and I needed more. I needed everything from him.
"I need you," I begged.
"I need you just as much."
I half smiled and let out a breathy laugh.
"Ready?" He asked.
I nodded and braced myself for the pain. I knew it was going to hurt, but I was prepared for it. I welcomed it.
He lined himself up with me and gently started to move his hips towards mine. The small portion that he put in felt strange, but I liked it.
"Do you want me to stop for a minute?"
I shook my head. It was more uncomfortable than anything. I wouldn't necessarily call it painful, but he had also given me the benefit of loosening me up a little beforehand.
When he was finally all the way in, I felt every inch of him in me. He seemed to enjoy it just as much as I did; he groaned my name, his breathing was heavy, and I knew he was fighting with himself to take this slow. But I didn't want it to go slow. It had to be like ripping off a bandaid. If he just did it, I would get used to it.
I rocked my hips a little, instantly feeling how tightly I was squeezed around him. Slowly, he started to move his hips. The more he moved, the less it hurt and the electrifying feeling started to build again.
"Azrael," I moaned. "I want to try being on top."
Without question, he flipped us so I was on top and I quickly realized he was not all the way in me. I still had another inch or so to go. I hadn't expected this position to be so much deeper, but I wanted it. It hurt far worse than before and I didn't care.
I slowly let the rest of him in me, forcing him to moan my name in the process. I used his chest to steady myself and carefully started to ride him. He gripped my butt and moved me a little quicker.
I knew he was close and he was holding off for my benefit, but that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to make him come quickly just to know I could.
The new position built up every feel-good sensation far quicker than anything else had. He squeezed my butt harder and forced my hips faster. I didn't need any incentive to move faster. I wanted to come again and he was clearly making sure that was going to happen before he allowed himself any release.
I cried out as he set me over the edge once again, only this time far more intense. I barely heard him ground out my name, too lost in my own world.
As his grip loosened on my butt, I slowed my hips until I stopped. Panting and spent, I held myself up using his chest. He rolled me over so he was above me again. I looked deep into his ice blue eyes and I saw exactly what he felt for me. I knew it all along, but I did doubt for quite some time.
He leaned down and kissed me; it was slow and passionate, but completely loving all at once.
"I love you so much, Anna."
I half smiled. "I love you, too."
He brushed my hair away from my face and kissed my forehead before pulling out of me and tucking me to his side. I wasn't sure where we would go from there, but I knew that I didn't want to be without him again. I also knew that he had a lot to learn about relationships. Not that I was an expert, but I knew what it was like to interact with people. He spent, what, thousands of years alone? Hundreds of thousands? I didn't know, but I wanted to find out every detail about it and that was exactly how I intended to spend the rest of the boat ride.