I'm a Villainess, But So What...

Від mrmacpuffy

625K 26.2K 2.6K

Honestly, I don't give a rat's ass about anything from the storyline. Those fucking capture targets are so da... Більше

Introduction
The Novea Family's Baby Prodigy
Three Year Old Alice's First Thesis
My Daughter and Her Antics
The Cliche Novel's Place in My Life
Magic Types
Alice's Sleep Deprived State
Alice's Mischievous Escapades
My Sister, The Troublemaker
The Sickly Prodigy's Appearance
I Met a Peculiar Girl
My Playdate With the Ragdoll
Boredom is My Enemy
The Awkwardness that is My Life
The Class from the Pits of Hell
The Deranged Novice Hunter, Nova
Maria's Absolute Retribution
'Camping Out' On the Clearing
Nova the Spy
Get Off of Me, You Piece of Shit
Alice's First Pet Named Lizzy
My Therapy Session with the Crown Prince
A Fly Buzzing Around My Ear
Deranged Friends and Family
Little Al's Ultimate Weapon
Lazy Alice and the Fifteen Year Old Assassin
Ax's Existential Crisis
Hibernating with Liz
The Dreadful Birthday Party
Scaring the Unscarable Assassin
Meeting Ms. Pink Fluff Ball
Temptations of Murder
Birdbrain No. 1 & 2
Pirouette-ing in Victory
The Bait, the Prince, and the Silly Dance
Am I Wrong, Professor?
I Can Break the Swatter
How to Beguile Mr. Shrewd
Lady Novea, My Newfound Rival
It's Fine, It's Fine, We'll Torture Him Together, Okay?
Castrating My Soon-to-be Boring Toy
The Glowy Sword in Chains
The Beginning of Summer Camp
The Hothead in the Morning
Alice Novea's Troublesome Conundrum
Alice, Naska, and the Two Phoenix Familiars
The Aruarnul Amulet
A Life After the Next
The Brightly Colored Cube in the Hall
Those Stupid People of Hers
The Talent Show, the Execution, and The Harmless Prank
Your Choice, Young Padawan
I Dub Thee Human Punching Bag
Fast Forward Overview
I'm Going Abroad
The Dolts of the Elven Kingdom
The Nature of [Descension]
Mixuni's Fling with Ms. Svennal
Her Peaceful Academy Life
Rain's Hellish Job
The Oasis, the Comrade, and the Airhead
The Elf Mixuni's First Breakdown
Flying Orange Peach with Gloved Stems
The Beginning of Winter Break
The Drunk Narcassist
The Stairway to Fairydom
The Past to the Present
Attitude Issues of that Goddamn Prince
Alice's First Cut
'Geh' Game of Brain
The Kingdom of Mer
Invincible Statue of Karaoke
The Appearance of Who?
Al's Small Realization
The Shivers
Beginning of a Journey
It's Fun to Mess With Assassins
A Girl and a Period
Kidnapped?! I'm So Scared... Not
The Barrier
To the Devil's Castle, I Go
The Nude Dude
Alice's First Sick Day
Sebastian Butler
The Perverted Servant, Miro
Parents' Dismay
The Games Begin
The Chair
UhHhHhH wHaT sHoUlD tHiS bE cAlLeD?
The Blackout Box
Pathetic Challenge
Jacob
I Think I'm Becoming More of a Brocon
First Time Skiing?
The Inscriptions
NOTICE!
Book Two Prologue
NEW BOOK BOIS!

Daily Life of the Party

1.7K 95 13
Від mrmacpuffy


I looked back at my past actions yesterday and sighed. Going to the continent must have really changed me. Now I show my emotions easily. I don't even care about etiquette anymore, either. I continued to munch a shortbread cookie as I watched (and kind of forgot to listen) Ax ramble on about leaving him behind animatedly while peppering me with questions, when suddenly, a pigeon hit the window.

A pigeon? Wait, no, that's just Ragdoll. Never mind, false alarm, I shouldn't be worried. Back to eating my cookie. I focused my attention back at Ax's one-man show. It's nice to be home.

----

Long story short...

Ciar's Reaction: "Alice. You're back."

Ax's Reaction: "-And you still forgot to say that as well! Plus, you haven't even talked about your dragon showing in the castle! I mean, you just had to make the dragon roar, didn't you?! I thought you'd only keep that familiar in your space! And don't even get me started on-"

Ragdoll's Reaction: *repeatedly tries to get into the residence* *continuously fails*

Idiot Prince's Reaction: "Lady Novea, I love you. Please be my wife."

Hothead- I mean, Punching Bag's Reaction: "Duel me! I will be victorious this time!"

...Who am I forgetting? Ah, yes.

Mother's Reaction: "Ali, you are home. Good to see you are safe."

Father's Reaction: "Wahhh! Alice! I missed you so much! My dearest daughter! I was worried sick! Did any pedophiles attack you? Did you kill them brutally? You did, right? Oh, I missed you so much!"

Pink Fluff Ball's Reaction: Nothing. Since she's dead.

----

After catching up with everyone else back from home, I went to meet the idiots who I'll be working with to defeat the Demon King. I went to the clearing and waited for everyone. For five minutes. Then six. Then... I got bored, so I opened a portal to my bed and went to sleep.

----

I don't know how long I slept. It could have been a minute, days, or even months (that has only happened once, though), but when I woke up and got out from my portal, I saw [] sleeping figures lying under the soft moonlight. I couldn't help but gasp in awe. These... are my teammates. They... they must be people who understand me... FINALLY! SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS HOW TO SLEEP PROPERLY! BEFORE MEETING YOUR NEW COMRADES, SLEEPING IS IMPORTANT! AND THAT FORM! THAT FORM! ARMS GENTLY RESTED AGAINST YOUR FACE! LEGS CURLED UP AND TUCKED IN! YESSSSSSSSS!!! I cried (imaginary) tears of absolute joy. NOW THESE PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO SLEEP!

I intended to join them in their little circle of catching z's. With illusion magic, I shapeshifted into a Nova and moved towards them, snuggling in before falling into a deep sleep once more.

----

(Author's Note: ???'s POV.)

I woke up on the tree branch and quickly glanced around, looking and assessing my surroundings and detecting presences before finally relaxing my stance. That's right. I was... finally done with cleaning out the annoying bugs, then a second later, I felt a strong light pulse within me and suddenly, I had a seal engraved onto my back, then I was teleported here.

I remembered that the others sleeping on the clearing felt the same, and said they had similar experiences. I finally sighed in relief before I realized there was one more presence on the clearing. One that hadn't been there before.

A girl. With long, straight, jet black hair, thick and beautiful eyelashes, and delicate features. She was sleeping soundly with the rest of the group. Her full lips were curved into a contented smile. Who...? I drew out my dagger and hid it behind my back before approaching the group.

"Wake up, everyone." I said. Everyone groggily got up from their positions and rubbed their tired eyes in response to my soft call. Except for one. That girl stayed as still as a brick, still fast asleep.

Once they all properly woken up and stretched, they finally realized that there was another person in the clearing. They must have all had the same thought process as I did, because I could see them all becoming more wary and shifting in a specific way before finally approaching the girl.

"Wake up, miss."

"Is anyone there~"

"Can you hear me?"

"WAKE UP!"

The last call startled the girl awake. Her eyelashes fluttered open slowly. Her grey irises were calm. Deadly calm. She stayed in her sleeping stance, like she was paralyzed, and slowly processed the situation in her lying position. Her slight frown made her look like a doll. A beautiful doll.

That is, until her eyes darkened and turned frigid, and she slowly opened her small lips to say, "Why did you wake me up? Huh? Why, fuckers? You all wanna die?"

That was my first meeting with Shurian Hoven, the saintess.

(Author's Note: Sorry, short chapter. I should write more, I know, but I can't help it! I'm a person too, and I NEED TO READ! Cut me some slack... 😭🤕😋)

❅   ❅   ❅   ❅

"Pardon my first impression. It was quite rude. Pretend this never happened, hmmm?" I looked at the other five people surrounding me while smiling. "As you might already know, I am not much of a morning person. I tend to get a wee bit grumpy at times." I giggled and leaned forward towards the group.

"Let's start over. My name is Shurian Hoven. I will be accompanying you on your journey to defeat the demon king. It is a pleasure to meet you all~!" I did a small curtsy and grinned childishly again, but inwardly, I was surprised. They can still stand up after I release my aura. Even if that was a short period of time, it was still quite impressive. They must be pretty powerful then.

"Wait, what do you mean, 'defeat the demon king'? And just who are you to barge in?"

It was my turn to be surprised now. What? I thought they volunteered as righteous stupid people to form a party and kill that demon guy? Hmmm, well, I guess it makes sense. I mean, I can tell that one of them is an assassin, and assassins really shouldn't be righteous. So they were probably forced to in some way. Why wasn't I, then? I just came here on my own. Strange. Ah whatever, I'm too tired and lazy to deal with this right now. I'll think about it later.

"The reason you all... came here, is because you need to defeat the demon king. Or did you, perhaps, not know that~?" I prodded carefully, trying to be subtle in my approach for information. I watched their faces and came to a conclusion. "Oh, is that so. In that case, that's too bad. Hmmm, you'll just have to verify why you were called on your own, then."

I laid back down on the dirt and cuddled in. "Tell me when you figure it out! I'm going back to sleep. I trust that none of you will wake me, correct? Okay, thanks! You guys are real pals! Goodnight!" And with that, I went back to sleep on the comfortable dirt floor.

----

"What are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know, wake her up?"

"But... last time we did, she didn't seem very happy. And I felt her aura pressing me down and forcing me..."

"Should we just leave her?"

"..."

"No. Remember what we found? If we leave her, it will be near impossible to defeat the demon king and get that seal off our bodies. We have to keep her."

"Sigh, alright. Who's going to wake her up?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...She's like an exploding monster when she wakes up! I ain't doin' it!"

"...Fine then, I will."

The volunteer, Hollem, approached the sleeping doll with a long stick, slowly edging his way forward and building the courage to wake the sleeping monster. He poked her in the nose once. No response. Then twice. A slight shift. Then thrice, hard. The girl woke up and her eyes glowed blood red for a moment before taking the thick stick in front of her face and breaking it in half with her bare hands.

"I thought I told you not to wake me up? Can you not do as you're told for once, fucker? Huh? Oh, no you can't, of course! Because you are an incompetent imbecile. Hahahahaha, changing the topic, it's so nice to be poked up the nose with a stick! Isn't it just a... refreshing morning experience? Hahahaha. Actually, since it's so nice, why don't you give it a try?"

So for the rest of the morning, that poor volunteer, Hollem, was bound and had sticks pressed up his bloody nose, far enough to reach his windpipe.

----

(Author's Note: Third person! Wow, I haven't done that before.)

They were one week into the journey. The party was still rough around the edges, but they finally got the hang of the overall schedule of the day. For instance, right now, they were setting up camp after our daily subjugation in demon-stricken areas.

As usual, Alice vanished to who-knows-where after they stopped to set up. The others were used to it by now, they would all know that she'd return by morning.

The party members gathered around the campfire and ate the orc meat that they caught mid-afternoon. Every time they ate the hard, almost inedible meat, they thought of Alice's words. 'If we're saving the world and being hailed as heroes, then why don't they sponsor us?! I mean, fuck them! IS IT REALLY THAT BAD TO SEND US MEAT AND SET UP CAMP FOR US WHEN WE GET TO THE DESTINATION! Uhhh, I hate humans, they're really so annoying.'

They were very familiar with each other by now and discussed the daily festivities and hunt of the day. What the subjugation was like, how much they wanted to kill each other's fucking guts, was 'Shurian' really a saintess or a demon...

After the campfire they all went to their respective tents. During the night, most of them were guarded with one eye open. That was either because of their pasts, or because they knew that one of those nights, they would be pranked hard by the devil called a saintess, in a way that only she could find funny.

Daylight soon came, and at 7:00 a.m. sharp, they started packing for the new day. At 8:00, they were ready to go, and just on time, Alice walked in from the forest, tired and pissed, even though she was probably more well-rested than them because she was in her space on her king-sized bed after a long, hot shower in the evening.

The party moved forward to the next forest they would secure in their own ways. Xencrynn, the mage of the group, traveled by air magic, Gio, the assassin, by jumping from tree-to-tree (even though that was such a energy-expending method of travel, which made no sense), the shapeshifter Penny (who just has that mysterious power she was born with, and doesn't use illusion magic like Alice) transformed into a horse and galloped along with them with the vanguard, Henrik, atop her. And Alice... Well, she had her methods as a 'saintess'.

After they reached their destination, as usual, Henrik charged forward with the rest closely following him. Alice, or should I say, Shurian, 'stayed behind', waiting for her que to cast mass light magic and heal the town of 'impurities', but in reality was concealing her presence and watching them from above in amusement (and sometimes disappointment in how weak they are).

"Hen! Attack the eye! Defend the board!"

"YES!"

"Penny! Turn into a phoenix!"

"Mhm."

"Hollem! Behind me!"

"Fuck off." (He learned that from Alice's melodious streams of cursing that let loose now and then)

"ALICE! BE PREPARED TO PURIFY!"

"Okay~" Alice zoomed back to her spot at the edge of the forest in five seconds and grinned childishly. They really are so predictable. Every day is the same. Why don't I... spice it up a little?

----

"NOW!" Xencrynn hollered the signal for Alice to purify the forest.

But all he heard was a weak, bouncy voice coming back to him, saying, "Oops, looks like my light magic doesn't work today~ sigh~"

"AHHH! SHURIAN! BE THE SAINTESS FOR ONCE AND HELP US LIKE A PURE BEING!"

"Hahahahaha~ but you already see my pure being every day! My beauty is beyond compare, that it can only be called pure~ I'm already helping you by letting you see my dazzling self every day~"

"AHHHHHH!!!"

"Oh come on, Crynn, you're a top class mage~ if you can't handle a few monsters respawning now and then, then you really are too weak. You won't win a girl's heart with that~"

"DAMN IT!!!" Thousands of demon birds ran off to the sky after that loud, ear-shattering scream.

"Don't worry, Crynn, your weak little self will survive~ my light magic will save the day! As soon as I reboot it~"

"AHHHHHH!!! FUCK YOUR SHITTY LITTLE ASS, DAMN SAINTESS DEMON!!!"

"Hahahaha... never say that again, okay? I don't appreciate being cursed at. Please stop, or else things will be a lot worse than they are now~" Alice danced around in her little safe zone outside the forest, enjoying the tearing of some sort of body part sounds that she heard from inside the forest before she got bored again.

"Oops, looks like my light magic is working now. HAZZAH! BEGONE, EVIL GUYS!" Alice flung her arms in the air and did some hooloo-booloo stuff and light burst out from her chest and engulfed the dark forest. As expected, I should have done a prank that would be more entertaining next time.

----

(Author's Note: Alice/Shurian's POV.)

Nighttime. The time where I got to go to my space and take a long, warm shower before going to sleep in the poofy covers of my bed. A glorious time of day. But this time, I decided to 'rough it' as they say, and sleep outside. For whatever reason, I don't know.

"Shurian? You're not gone?" Henrik looked at me, who was seated next to the fire pit, in wonder.

"No, I'm going to stay with you guys tonight and live the 'camping experience' as they call it!"

"Oh, I see. Wait, what? Then who are you sleeping with?" Penny asked. She was in her human form right now.

"Hmmm... I don't know. Who should I sleep with?"

"Not it." Xencrynn chimed in.

"Not it~" Gio added.

"I'll be sleeping with... Gio!"

"...You're mean, Shuri." He said, pouting. Gio was similar to me in personality. I'd say he's playful, childish, sadistic, and likes breaking toys. One of the differences we have, though, is that I like indirect or direct observation of my toys breaking while Gio just prefers that long burn of breaking. He likes seeing them, I don't know, writhe in pain and gasp, wanting to die, while I just want to see them break.

...This is boring. On another note, I figured out why I didn't have that seal on my body like everyone else does.

It's because of my mysterious attribute, [Descension].

(Author's Note: Just one chapter today. I'm lazy and I really don't have any ideas. Got dem writer's block. This is so boring... I gotta think of something, quick...)

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