A/N: Dedication goes to @indigo_symphony for her sweet comments which made me smile. Check out her Zayn Malik fanfiction There Are No Accidents!
*Jenan*
A whole month in England passed. With the boys, it was almost impossible to feel homesick or wish I was in Egypt. But only almost. Of course I missed it. I missed my family, my friends, my country. I missed walking through the lively and vivid streets and see tourists trying to bargain over souvenirs which were mostly small pyramids or paintings on a piece of papyrus. I missed walking up and down the mall and watching the new generation in discussing about politics. I missed the hot weather, the cold sea, the harsh wind. I even missed the Arabic TV with the channels and news. It somehow frustrated me, so I always tried to focus my thoughts on the lads.
Thinking of the boys, I smiled. Yesterday I farewelled them as they were travelling to America to do some mysterious business. I don't know why they refused to let me accompany them to the airport; they acted all creepy when they saw me getting down the stairs to the sitting room, fully dressed, and urged me to stay here.
It was a strange feeling to be home alone. The flat was not the same without the boys: it was quiet and.. empty and only the thought of Eleanor or Emily having sleepovers with me cheered me a little up. Zayn was really into this idea and kept reminding me of it today, El says he doesn't want me to be alone.
I sighed. Since the 'getting-lost-and-lying-freezed-on-a-bench-in-the-park' story, Zayn acted like my father. Whenever I go to meet Emily, he drives me. When they all are at work and I'm alone, he calls me up to see how I am. When I leave he asks me if I hadn't forgotten the pepper spray.
".. I don't, I don't don't know what it is, but I need that one thing, you've got that one thing.." the voices of One Direction sang into my ear and I looked down at the MP3 player between my hands. A wider smile this time appeared on my face when I remembered the day I got it. It was one day after the dinner with Eleanor, Liam sat down beside me on the couch and I closed the novel I was reading shut.
"Here, this is for you." He smiled and handed me a small rectangular shaped package. I looked up at him, right into his warm eyes and saw the rest of the boys appearing. They were smiling widely.
"Wow." I mumbled and fiddled about with the plain red gift wrap. They told me that this was something like a late welcome gift and that they had uploaded all of my favourite songs, including all the songs of Taylor Swift and One Direction.
I had become really into both of them, although it was quite strange that I didn't even know how they looked like, or what their names were, in case of One Direction. When I said this to the boys, they shook their heads and said that that doesn't really matter and that the 'One Direction lads' were even kind of 'ugly' and that I would hate their music if I knew what they looked like.
One Thing ended and now my ears were filled with the sweet voice of Taylor singing Enchanted. It was one of my favourites.
One of the good things about being alone in the flat was the fact that I could take off my scarf. Wearing it almost 13 hours a day was harder than I had expected but I could successfully cope with it.
As I felt the vibration of my mobile phone on the couch, I pulled out the headphones and grabbed it. Alia's name appeared on the display and I picked up.
"Al Salamu Aleikom, Ali. How are you?" I asked her in Arabic with a huge smile on my face as I imagined Alia through my inner eye. Her brown hair was extremely long and usually braided as mine. Most times she hides it under colourful scarves combined with stylish but comfortable clothes. Although she was not a big thing at height (she was even shorter than me, with her 1,50 cms) but she was a very clever girl with good grades at school and even a more faithful and caring friend. Knowing that she considers me her second best friend after Leesha meant the world to me.
"Wa Alaikum El Salam ya Jenan, I'm MORE than fine, Elhamdulillah." I heard the grin in her voice and got suspicious.
"What's up?" I asked her.
She laughed. "Well.. First off I have to congratulate you so.. congratulationssss Jenna!" she chanted.
I was totally confused and knit my eyebrows. "What are you talking about, Alia?"
"Imaaagine what just came out today?! Our marks!"
I gasped and accidentally kicked the MP3 onto the carpet. "No way!"
"It's true." She simply said, still sounding more than happy. Honestly, I had totally forgotten about my upcoming marks of the exams. It has been a month now and I thought I couldn't care less about the mess I might have created, but me being very nervous right now proved the opposite.
"Don't put me on the rack, Al. Tell me!" I urged her. How many marks have I lost? Will I get a rank in the Top-Ten of our grade? What have my friends got?
"Sweetheart Jenna, youuuuu.." she began slowly. ".. got 295 out of 300 marks!"
My heart skipped a beat and I fell down on my knees and then forward in the praying position to pray a short prayer of gratitude. "YAY!" I screamed as I jumped up and accidentally threw two pillows on the floor. "I CAN't BEL— ouch!" whilst hopping around the cocktail table in joy, I had catched my foot and now my little toe was screaming with pain.
Alia just chuckled into my ears. "Are you okay? It sounded like you've dashed something solid?"
"Uhh, never mind." I mumbled, collecting the pillows from the ground and throwing them back onto the couch carelessly. "Now tell me.. what about you? And Leesha and Kassy?"
Alia chuckled again. "You won't believe, but imagine what.. Leesha and me got exactly the same, 293.5!"
I grinned. "Congrats!" I commented and smiled. "And the ranks?"
"You are the third, after Abdallah and Yasmin. Leesha and me are the fifth." I raised my eyebrows, being impressed by the thought of my classmate Abdallah scoring off all of our nerdy girls. The image of Abdallah appeared in my mind: the tall, short-haired boy, thin as a toothpick, with always crooked glasses on his nose.
"That's great." I said to Ali. "Kassatt?" I asked, a little bit surprised by the fact that she hadn't got 100% as she almost does every year . I'm not kidding, she's our 'Miss Flawless' with the perfect grades, loved and cherished by everyone.
Ali sighed. "She got 293 marks and is probaly crying in her room right now." I sighed too. It must be very hard for her and I can only imagine the reaction of her parents, specially her mother who always used to push her and make her into the girl she used to be. The girl who never makes mistakes and is always the best at everything.
Kas was indeed my best friend since 1st grade and I love her with all of my heart with all of her little flaws which only I knew.
"And Mary Ann?" I carried on asking, leaving Ali's last sentence uncommented. Mary Ann was the third corner in the triangle of Kassatt, Mary Ann and me. We used to be best friends until some differences showed up between Kassat and Mary and the triangle lost one of its corners. I'm still quite close to Mary Ann though, she is always there when nobody else is.
"Hmm, I think it was 294 or something like that, I don't remember, sorry."
"Never mind, Al." I said.
"But that reminds me.. she keeps asking about you and told me to tell you that she misses you."
My heart was filled with a comfortable warmth and another feeling which was probably homesickness again. "Thanks, I miss her a lot. And you and Leesh and Kas."
Ali snickered, "We miss you too, Habibty, and please—" she stopped mid-sentece, being interrupted. I guessed it to be one of her little sisters (she had 5 of them!) so I waited patiently until she spoke up again.
"Oh my God!!" Ali screamed and I heard her running. "Rahma, NOOO! Get off the laptop!" she yelled and I chuckled.
"Sorry, Jenna," Alia now said to me, sounding exhausted. "I have to see what's left of the laptop, alright?"
"Alright." I answered her, still grinning. "Greet all your little sisters warmly from me, please."
"Aha, I will. Salam, Jen!" she said and the connection ended. I laid my phone onto the cocktail table, grabbed the MP3 and walked towards the speakers beside the stereo to connect it to them. I scrolled through my track list and finally settled for Up All Night by One Direction. For a while, I just kept singing along and dancing through the room. My happiness was overwhelming and I couldn't help it but tell the boys about the big news, so I grabbed my phone and had already chosen Zayn's number when I looked inward. Not knowing why I hesitated to call Zayn, I fell onto the couch. Why was it so hard to click on 'Call'??
I sighed, and scrolled through my contacts to find Harry's number instead. While waiting for him to pick up, I walked towards the stereo and turned the music down.
"Jenna?" a worried-sounding Harry picked up the phone. After I had told Zayn he could call me 'Jenna', slowly the other boys started doing it too. But it's not that that prevented them from making up other weird nicknames for me..
"Hey, Styles." I smiled.
"What's up?" he asked. "Is everything okay?"
"Ya, it is! Well, more than okay." I replied. "But firstly.. how is America?"
Harry chuckled. "It's cool. I'm pretty sure you'd love it." I rolled my eyes, thinking about how useless this statement was. Shouldn't he, like, tell me in what way America was cool? What would I love in it? Any details?
But before I could drown in further thoughts, I replied to Harry. "Ya, well, it's on my list."
He chuckled. "But I suppose you didn't call only to ask me about America, did you?"
"No," I laughed, playing with my hair. "I actually called because.. wait, are you alone?" was probably Zayn with him? I needed to know that.
"Uhh, amm, kinda." He stuttered when I heard the sound of a quiet chuckling behind him. A female chuckling.
"Who was that?" I asked suspiciously.
"No one, really. Never mind. So, what did you want to say?"
"Harry Edward Styles." I said firmly. "Who's that female person around you?"
He sighed. "That's Natalia."
"Aha." Natalia. So Harry has finally added a new name to his long list of girlfriends.
Zayn once had talked to me about Niall, Harry and their relationships. Niall hadn't had a girlfriend since a long time and he was waiting for his one true love to marry her, which made me respect him even more. Where Harry was the opposite. He had had lots of girlfriends and relationships which usually never lasted longer than a few weeks. Later that day, Zayn told Harry about what I got to know about the latter and I clearly showed him my attitude towards it. He knew I disliked it.
He sighed again. "You are mad at me, I know."
"No, it's okay. You can do as you please. Really." I claimed.
"Stop it, Jenan. I know you." He insisted. "And I know you hate this."
I sniffed. "Do you, at least, love her?"
Silence.
"Okay, that was a dumb question." I rowed back, regretting my question. "Nevermind."
"Jenna, I—"
"It's okay, Harry." I repeated, interrupting him. "You can call me back later. When you are alone." I cancelled the call, almost immediately feeling sorry. I wasn't used to being that rude but a tiny tiny part in me hoped he might repent and stop it. Stop dating random girls, drinking, clubbing.. If he wanted to have fun, then there were a lot of other ways.
My happiness about my marks had disappeared but still I wanted to talk to one of the boys. And still, I couldn't bear to call Zayn.
So this time, it was Liam.
"Hey Jen!" Liam greeted me enthusiastically. "How are you? Is everything okay?"
I smiled. "Yes, everything is okay, Elhamdulillah."
"ARE YOU MISSING US ALREADY??" I heard Louis' voice screaming in the background. I chuckled.
"Excuse me, here is your nose, Louis. I found it in our business." I heard Liam saying and I burst into laughter. Louis replied something to Liam but I couldn't hear it.
"You can tell Louis that it's still too early to miss anyone. It has been only one day since I last saw you!"
Liam laughed gently. "Yeah, you're right."
"Is it just you and Louis?" I asked slowly. If Zayn wasn't with Harry, maybe he was with Liam and Louis?
I heard the grin on Liam's face when he replied. "Zayn's up in his room, if that was what you wanted to know."
"Tush! Who said I wanted to know that?" I asked, blushing.
Liam only laughed. "Why are you calling, J.?"
"Ah, yes." I mumbled and stood up. "Well.. I have big news."
"Really? Go on!" he urged me. Taking a few steps, I entered the kitchen.
I inhaled deeply. "My friend, Alia, called and told me that our marks had come out today."
"Really? Today? After.. one month?" Liam asked. "I thought you already got them but never told us."
"Yah, well.. Egypt, you know." I said jokingly whilst opening the door of the fridge. A cool breeze greeted me. "Anyway, that's not the point."
"Yes yes, sorry." He said. "Tell me.. or 'tell us', cos Louis threw his ear right into the phone."
I snickered, imagining the situation between Liam and Louis. "I got 295 marks out of 300."
"Whoa! You are kidding?"
"GOOD GIIIIRL!" I heard Louis screaming.
"I'm not kidding of course." I rolled my eyes and took the milk bottle out.
"Wow, that's..." Liam started.
"AMAZING!" it came from Lou.
"Lou, you don't have to scream that loud, my ears!"
"Thanks boys, I just wanted to let you know." I grinned and poured some of the milk into a cup. Then I put the milk back into the fridge and grabbed the the cocoa powder to add two spoons to the milk.
"Thank you for telling us. We are proud of you, babba."
"I WILL GO AND TELL ZAYN ABOUT THE NEWS!" I heard Louis yelling and then the slam of a door.
"You haven't told him yet?" Liam asked me.
"No. I wanted to call him but instead I dialled Harry's number."
"So Harry knows?"
I sighed deeply. "No. I couldn't tell him, he was.. busy."
First Liam was silent and I kept stirring my chocolate drink. Finally he said: "Natalia, hm?"
I exhaled in frustration. "Forget it, Liam."
"Jenan.."
"It's ok. Could you please greet Zayn and Niall?"
"Ya, sure." I knew that Liam was unwilling to drop the topic but luckily he did.
"Take care of yourselves, boys." I added, sipping the cup.
"Sure, little thing." Liam said. "Talk to you later."
"Ya, Inchaallah." I finally said and cut the connection. I sighed deeply as I laid the phone down. I was too tired to make another call, Kas had to wait. Instead, I walked upstairs (with my chocolate drink between my hands) to my room and turned my laptop on, checking over 40 notifications. I began to feel tired of Facebook and only used it to chat with the girls. Surprisingly, all of my friends and most of my (female) classmates were online. I bet it was because of the news of the marks. Frustrated, I signed out, not feeling like talking to the enthusiatic and thrilled girls.
**
"Okay, Kassy, I love you too." I said, ending the phone call between Kassatt and me. I sighed deeply and I threw the mobile onto the other couch, leaning backwards sinking deeply into the pillows. Luckily, she wasn't crying as she picked up the phone but I could hear, could feel, that she was utterly upset. I tried hard to let her know how unimportant her mark was. In 7 or 8 years Inchaallah, no one will ever ask about it, will they? Definitely not.
But I was still quite disappointed because she hadn't asked about me since the beginning of the vacation. And during this phone call she even didn't ask about anything related to my awkward situation.. did she even know that I was living in a flat in England with five boys? Probably not. When it came to some details about my life she surprisingly became very forgetful.
Before getting more frustrated than I already was since the 'Natalia-thing', I got up to climb up the stairs to my room and get dressed. On my way, I thought about how Zayn wouldn't like my plan at all but I felt the need to leave my 4 walls and get out a little.
The door to my room was opened and I immediately headed over to the wardrobe, grabbing the next best outfit. After putting it on and fixing the scarf, I put my mobile phone, some money and my MP3 into my handbag, checked if all the windows of the flat were closed, put on my shoes and finally closed the door of the flat behind me and turned the key. Taking every two steps, I quickly reached the main gate and opened it. A gust of cool wind hit me and made me smile. How I loved the smell of fresh air, specially the British one. Honestly, I didn't know where to go, so I just headed to the direction on my right, counting the steps I was taking. The street was lively and I felt a little bit awkward and lonely. At step 56, I looked up and found myself in a promenade with a wide way for passants, flanked by shops on both sides. People with kids, dogs and/or plastic bags walked around, entering and coming out of the shops. Two groups of teenagers were gathered around a big fountain in the middle of the street. Some of them were smoking, some were throwing coins into the water and the others were just talking and laughing. I felt as if all the passersby were staring at me so I quickly took some steps forward, eyeing every shop I passed. When I walked past a clothes store of the Viola's Secret series, I smiled widely remembering the funny time I had spent in the store on that day in London. I carried on walking, thinking about the people I know. My family, my friends and finally the boys.
My first priority was my family of course. The pain of missing them was killing me and I knew I could hardly live without them, my lovely and always busy mother and my chaotic and caring father. My friends used to come right afterwards, until they all began acting strangely and showing me less care and love and respect. From time to time, I decided to shut my heart upon the people around me so I won't get affected easily by their whims. Lately I realised that they had a different meaning for friendship than me. But when I think about the boys I get utterly confused. I was worried about the fact of living with them and more nervous about me liking them. Because I do, very much actually. They had slowly become the brothers I never had but always wanted.
My phone pulled me out of my thoughts and I quickly unzipped my handbag to take it out. My heart skipped a beat when I saw that it was Zayn and my hands became sweaty.
"Hello?" I asked shyly after picking up.
"Jenan, hey." He said in a husky voice. "How are things?"
"Elhamdulellah, I can't complain." An old woman with a dog was approaching me and of course the dog had to bark just as he passed by.
"What's that?" Zayn asked suspiciously. "That was a dog, wasn't it?"
I sighed and gave the dog an annoyed look. "Yes, it was. A pit bull, actually."
"Well.. take care of yourself please." He only answered, instead of the expected lecture about going out without telling anybody first or at uncertain times.
"I only needed a walk and a bit of fresh air, that's all."
"What bothers you?" he asked and I sighed again. Why did the boys understand me that much? Was I really like an opened book for them? Or for everyone?
"Nothing." I muttered.
"Don't lie. That won't wash with me."
"Zayn, listen.." I began but he interrupted me.
"No, now you listen, Jenna. If you have something on your mind you sometimes have to talk to somebody about it and not just lock it into your heart for like, forever."
"Who said there's something on my mind?" I asked him and kicked a small stone with my feet. It hit a tree and bounced off.
"Jen, you just got the news of your amazing marks and then you wander through the streets." He sighed impatiently.
I walked towards a bench under the tree I just hit with the stone, and sat down. "Is it that clear?"
"For me, it is." He replied. "Is it because of Natalia?"
Playing with the fringes of my scarf, I asked: "Is it that obvious?"
"Well, Liam told me that you called Harry first and I knew that Natalia was with him so I guessed you found out."
"You should've told me!" I complained, sounding like a little kid.
"We knew it would annoy you, besides that Harry didn't want you to know about it." He replied.
"I know it shouldn't bother me but I can't help acting like a baby."
"You don't act like a baby," he sighed. "You just act like someone who cares about his friend."
"I know, I can't help it but attach too much importance to it, although actually it's even none of my business, Zayn." I mumbled.
"Maybe you should talk with Harry about it all?" he suggested but I shook my head tightly and replied: "No, better not. It would only end up in an argument and I really don't feel like messing up with my friend who is about 3000 miles away."
"Well.. I'm stumped. Sorry, Jenna."
A small smile appeared around my mouth. "Never mind, Zayn. Thanks for caring."
And the last thing he said to me before the connection broke off was "It goes without saying."
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