Rowan
Pat took me back to my house. I fumbled with my keys until he took them from me and unlocked the door. I couldn't even focus on opening a door. How pathetic is that?
Once we were inside, Pat closed the door and locked it. The click triggered a memory, and a scream erupted from my lips. When Pat touched me, I went into fight mode and hit him. He didn't retaliate but wrapped his arms around me. I fought until I stopped and cried.
"Shh, I got you." Pat stroked the back of my head.
I curled into his chest and sobbed. He held me as my body heaved with throaty sobs. A few minutes later, the front door opened. I peeked over Pat's shoulder to see the girls and his brothers standing there. I lowered my head and buried my face into his chest.
Pat glanced at the others. "Rowan needs tender loving care. Can someone run her a bath and get her Chunky brownie ice cream?"
"I'll run her a bath," Sage said.
"We'll grab her some ice cream," Reese said, grabbing Rafe.
"Why do I need to go?" Rafe asked.
"Because it will do you some good, Harper," Reese said.
Reese and Rafe left.
"I'll let Ma and Dad know what's happening and get Kadia," Val said.
I nodded.
Romeo walked towards us. "How about a chick flick? Laughter helps."
Rowan nodded.
"Yeah, sounds good," I said.
Bailey coaxed Rowan from me and led her upstairs. I pulled out my phone and called Jayden. He answered after the second ring. I explained what had happened. He gave me tips to help Rowan and offered to visit. I accepted. Since Jayden specialized in trauma, he could help Rowan.
While Rowan and Sage were busy, it gave me a chance to talk to Romeo.
"Okay, I found a movie that will help." Romeo queued a movie.
"Why didn't you tell me that Sloane got pregnant?"
Romeo stiffened, then turned to face me. He knitted his brows and looked at me.
I crept towards him. "You could have told me."
"Why? People assumed that I lied about Sloane. I even apologized to Sloane. It still didn't matter because I was the schmuck." Romeo shrugged.
"It matters."
"Since when?"
I furrowed my brows.
"You don't think that I know what people say about me? I hear what they say. Romeo screws up everything. If it weren't for what Romeo did, Pat wouldn't have gotten hurt. Rafe wouldn't have landed in the hospital on a vent. Do you think I wanted to hurt you or Rafe? You're my brothers."
"You didn't hurt us. The trolls did."
"It doesn't assuage the guilt because I live with it every day. I live with Sloane trying to entrap me with a baby." Romeo shrugged.
Romeo acted casual, but I noticed the hurt in his eyes.
"If Sloane wouldn't have lost the baby, would you want it?"
"Of course. Why?"
I stared at Romeo as tears dripped down his cheeks.
"Even if the parents don't stay together, it doesn't mean the child should suffer."
"But you were sixteen."
"So?"
"You would have given up your childhood to take care of a baby."
"It wouldn't matter."
"Why not?"
"Because I couldn't let my child suffer because of the choices that I made."
That's when it hit me. "You wanted the baby."
"Ma and Dad had the same reservations about the pregnancy, but I would have taken responsibility for it. When I found out Sloane lost the baby, I cried."
My brows knitted.
"After that day, I refused to have a relationship or sex with anyone."
"But you still date."
"Yeah, I date, but I won't fall in love again."
"Why date if you don't plan on a relationship? Isn't that leading a girl on?
"No."
"How so?"
"Because all girls want a guy who makes them feel like a queen. So, I give them what they need and send them on their way. There are no strings or attachments. Plus, they learn how a guy should treat them."
I studied Romeo. Something told me that there was a hidden meaning in what he said. Whatever it was, it'll bite him and us in the ass.
*******
Rowan
I soaked in a hot bath, trying to calm my nerves. It took months to work through Robbie's abuse. And today's encounter set me back to square one. My mind raced with questions, which happened when something triggered me.
After thirty minutes and turning into a prune, I got out of the tub and dried off. I pulled on a pair of sweats, a tee-shirt, and an oversized hoodie. Wait. This hoodie doesn't belong to me. I placed the fabric against my nose and inhaled. Then a smile curled upon my face.
After brushing my hair, I headed downstairs. Sage, Romeo, Val, Leokadia, and Pat waited for me. I crept towards Pat. "Thanks for the hoodie."
"I wondered where I left my hoodie," Pat said.
I looked at Pat as he smiled. "You left your hoodie here on purpose, didn't you?"
Pat leaned into me. "No, I had Val bring it since he was getting Leokadia. I thought you could sleep in it to remind you that I'm with you."
I couldn't help but smile as Pat smiled. I wrapped my arms around his midriff and hugged him. He rubbed my back and kissed the top of my head. Pat was my safe place. He didn't force me into doing anything that I didn't want to do. Pat didn't pressure me or scream at me. He reassured me that I was safe.
Trust is a huge factor when you suffer trauma from someone. You don't trust anyone or believe what they say. You focus on their actions. When their actions don't align with their words, it's a warning sign. I ignored the red flags with Robbie because of the gaslighting.
I learned about gaslighting in therapy and discovered Robbie was a narcissist. People think it will never happen to them, but they couldn't be more wrong. It's not evident when you first meet someone. It's gradual.
Girls say, oh, I would have fought him for laying a hand on me. I thought the same way until the physical abuse started, followed by the treats. Fear engulfs you and freezes you in your spot. That's when the narcissist has you right where they want you.
A few minutes later, Reese and Rafe returned with plastic shopping bags.
"We have ice cream." Reese raised a bag.
"And junk food," Rafe said.
"Why don't I order take out before we make ourselves sick from gorging on junk?" Val asked.
Pat looked at me. "Your choice."
"Can we get burgers?" I asked.
"We can get whatever you want, sweetheart."
My lips curled upward.
"Burgers and fries it is. What does everyone want?" Val asked us.
We spouted our orders as Val typed a note in his phone.
"Romeo, help me get the food," Val said.
Romeo nodded and left with Val. I sat down on the couch and curled up as Pat joined me. I'm hoping this evening helps because I needed a distraction.
*******
Valentine
Romeo and I got into the car and headed to a nearby diner. Romeo rested his arm on the car door with the window rolled down.
"Do you want to tell me what happened between you and Pat while I was gone?"
"Nothing happened."
"Cut the shit."
Romeo rolled his eyes. "Fine. Pat asked me about Sloane."
"Why?"
"Because Ma and Dad told him about the pregnancy."
I slammed on the brakes. We jerked in our seats.
"Jesus, Val! Did you need to give me whiplash?" Romeo rubbed the back of his neck.
I threw the car into park and turned my body to face Romeo. "Spill, now."
Romeo glanced at me, closed his eyes, and shook his head. "Fine. Sloane poked holes in the raincoats and got pregnant. Are you satisfied?" Romeo stared at me with a smile.
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"Oh, okay. Hey, Val. I had sex with Sloane and got her knocked up because she's psycho and poked holes in the raincoats."
I narrowed my eyes as Romeo tilted his head and looked at me.
"Oh, and she lost the baby and stalked me." Romeo raised his finger. "Are you happy now?"
My expression soften. "No, because I know how you felt about Sloane and kids."
Romeo stared at me.
"I don't like games or lies, but I understand what love and kids mean to you."
"You made me apologize to Sloane." Romeo's eyes shifted.
"Because I didn't know the full story. If you would have told me."
"Then what?"
I looked at Romeo.
"Val, you're the oldest, and expect us to fall in line with you. You're more concerned with honesty that you don't account for other people. Do you know what it's like to deal with everyone else and you?"
I knitted my brows.
Romeo looked at his lap and played with his fingers. "You're our big brother, and you protect us. When something bad happens, we go to you over, Dad."
"What do you mean?"
Romeo lifted his head and looked at me. "Because we don't want to disappoint Dad. Do you realize it took Marty to tell Dad the truth because the idea terrified me?"
I knitted my brows.
"How do you tell your father that you screwed up, and it'll cost your future?"
"You and the others underestimate Dad. Yeah, the situation would anger him, but he loves us. He understands better than anyone how someone can be cruel."
Romeo sighed.
"What did Dad do after he found out about the pregnancy?"
"He and Ma sat me down and talked to me. He said I needed to accept responsibility for the baby."
"And?"
"I told him that I would. If I had to get a job and drop out of school to support the baby, I would. But he wouldn't let me. Ma and Dad said we would figure out the situation and make sure I took care of the baby. Then Sloane lost the baby and stalked me when I ended things. I wasn't to go near her but did it for Pat and Rafe."
"You violated the restraining order to correct a wrong."
Romeo nodded as I rubbed my face. Romeo was willing to sacrifice his safety for our brothers. And I made him.
"I'm sorry," I said.
Romeo's face snapped in my direction.
"I was wrong." I released my seatbelt and hugged Romeo.
Romeo buried his head into my chest and gripped the back of my shirt. I rubbed his head as he cried.
Sometimes, a brother needs tender loving care from their big brother. My brothers didn't only view me as their big brother, but their safe place. It's one reason that Dad put me in charge. He knew they would need me when he wasn't here. But Dad didn't account for that; I needed my brothers, too.