"I remember when I was eight and she was five. I broke my arm actually riding on a horse. She cried and cried and cried for like hours. I didn't even shed a tear. When I got back from the doctor's I asked her why she was crying. She said that I was going to die and that she didn't want to live without me." I was sharing so many stories of her to my family that traveled here. I'm actually at the podium, talking about her.
I had so many memories of us together. I protected her so much because of this reason. And now she's dead.
"I love her so much and there will always be a whole in my heart for her. Just her." I stepped down from the podium, crossing her body in a glass box in her favorite outfit wearing her favorite makeup.
I don't think I can go on without her.
✴✴✴✴
I was at home now with my two sisters left and the twins. My mom had to speak publicly in the next state over and won't be back tonight. So I've decided.
I'm going to get drunk. Or as much as I can.
Once I got home I took out all of the booze I got. Sadie and Eléna were on the same page as me and they emptied my cupboards full of shot glasses.
"Whoa, guys. Isn't it a little too early for you too get drunk?" Alec asked. Eléna answered that question annoyed.
"We always get drunk when something happens. We escape our problems one more day before we enter hell. So you wanna join us?" They hesitated and looked at each. "C'mon double trouble."
"And we have a competition. The first one to throw up first has to drink five more shots of the strongest alcohol I have and it looks like it's gonna be liquor." They both sighed.
"Yeah sure. But I'm drinking until I get tipsy." Alex said.
"That's no fun!" Sadie said from across the room.
"It's okay Sadie, at least two of us need to stay conscience." She shrugged her shoulders and turned on my radio.
"Let the drinking began!" I grabbed the lightest thing there. Wine and beer, everything else was really strong. I know I can't get drunk, but I don't want to remain with a headache.
At first we had a dance party just taking hits of whatever was in our hands. I was soaked in red stuff by the time we all got bored and started taking shots of whatever. Tying our hands behind our backs and going against our equivalent body shapes. It was Alex and Sadie, Alec and I, and then Eléna and I. I won against Alec, but I couldn't beat my sister. She is such a pro at this.
Then the girls decided it was a great idea to take body shots. At first I didn't like the idea, but then I got tipsy enough not to care. But that's where I end. I can drink more but I won't go past that. I had about twelve shots before I had to go. Six off of each twin and it was worth. Both have amazing bodies.
A few hours later, Sadie, Eléna, and Alec were so drunk they couldn't even stand. All three of them were the happy drunk, laughing and tripping over furniture. Chuckling over nothing and still taking hits.
Alex said he will be back to help me clean up. He just had to wash the alcohol off of his being.
Than Sadie was the one who threw up first. She made a b-line to the bathroom and I think I saw her lungs come out of her throat. By then the other two were passed out and I just wanted to go to sleep. But it was six in the morning and I had to clean up. Sadie said she's going to sleep in the basement where it's nice and cool. I didn't care.
I brushed my teeth, taking the deathly taste of pure alcohol from my taste buds. I washed my face and tied up my hair.
I took two blankets from my storage closet and covered the two remaining drunks.
"Okay, my work is just starting." I don't know how, but we finished three bottles of liquor, two of tequila, and one bottle of wine. The wine was me, I'll admit that.
I went around picking up all of the furniture that was tipped over or thrown on the ground. The kitchen was a mess because drunks always get hungry. There were shot glasses everywhere. Alcohol spilled everywhere. Clothes were surprisingly hanging off of everything and I don't know if my pill will contain me. I just started with putting shot glasses in the dishwasher. Organizing it so they line up in perfect rows.
After, I went to picking up the bottles that we're left from last night and I stored them back in my cupboards. The empty ones I tossed in the recycling.
It was a half hour after when Alex came back and I was done in the kitchen and almost done in the living room.
"So much for helping you."
"You can help me clean my bedroom since they think that its apart of the party area."
I moved into my bedroom, jumping on my bed and handing him the bag.
"So you're just gonna make me do all of the work?"
"Sounds about right." He smiled and shook his head.
"So yesterday you drank more than Alec, Sadie, and I combined and you didn't even get drunk. How is that possible?" I followed him around on my bed as he picked up the mess.
"I can't get drunk. It's in my DNA." He nodded.
"A blessing and a curse." He stood just inches away from me.
"Why is it a curse?" I looked down at my feet, getting unconfortable of how close we were but not being close enough.
"Because you can't actually escape anything. You'll always be conscience. Does that mean you can't be hiked up on drugs either?"
"Pretty much." I was a little taller than him being on the bed. And I liked it, seeing his fave without breaking my neck.
"And why is it a blessing?"
"Because you can feel certain things like this." He pinched me.
"Ahh! Dude!"
"And I can make fun of you and you'll remember it."
"So it's a blessing in your side?"
"Sounds like it." I playfully shoved him.
"I can get tipsy, so help me down."
"Oh, that's why you keep stuttering?"
"I'm n-not stuttering." That's not the only reason. I can feel the butterflies in my stomach.
"Haha, come on." He took me by his empty arm and basically carried me down. I went to straighten my shirt and when I looked up, we were so close we were sharing the same breath.
Ugh, God. Every time. They just weaken me. So blue and perfect. And then him so perfect.
"I have to. . ." I couldn't finish my sentence. The trance that he gave me between his lips and his eyes made me forget everything.
His hand was inside my shirt, where he carried me down from. He brought me closer and tucked a piece of straying hair behind my ear, twisting it first and making it curl again. He dropped the bag in his right hand, bringing it up to my cheek. He brought my chin up and he touched my lip first. He leaned in and the-
There was a forced knock on the door.
I realized I was on my toes when I dropped hard on the ground. "I'll go get the door." I said and he dropped his hold, letting me walk away.
So close, damn it.
I slid the door up. "What?" I said when I saw three uniformed men.
"Can you come with us?" The one in front said.
"What, no. Why?" He handed me a long yellow envolope that I quickly ripped open.
"Where did you get this information?"
"Confedential, can you please come with us?" He didn't even make eye contact with me. He just stared straight ahead at nothing.
"Yeah, just let me. . ." I slammed the door back down and went into the kitchen.
"Who was it?" Alex came curiously out of my room with the bag filled with trash.
"Listen, I have to go and I don't know when I'll be back. Make sure they don't throw up on my furniture." I picked up my keys and went out with the men.
✴✴✴✴
They sat me in a doctors office, strapped me with tubes connected to my chest and head and left me alone. Not in the facility though, since half of it burned down.
I just want to know who did that to me? The only person I could think of that would want revenge against me is Jake. But he wouldn't do that because I could do the same to him.
My leg was shaking from anxiety. I can't sit here and do nothing. I need to actually move. They expect me to sit here alone, without anything to do just before my life might end?
The door beside me opened and a file line of people came in. Three uniformed men stood on all sides of me. Five more in each corner of the room and one in the middle. After that every person that came in was with a uniformed man. The psychiatrist, two Co-Leaders including my mother, and the Executive Chief Commander who can in with three men. My mouth dropped open when I saw him in here. I've only seen him once in my life and there he is. He doesn't show up on TV. We don't even know his name. We just call him Executive Commander.
"My militia chief commander is being accused of having the Others gene. The one I handpicked myself and said I will die if she doesn't get that position. And this is how you repay me?"
I've always despised him.
"Excuse me Doc, is there anyway I could do this differently because this doesn't work when you want to gauge someone's eyes out." The men brought their guns up, closing the safety's
"Stand down." And quickly they were in their original positions. It's wierd because I usually give all of those commands.
"You know I taught half of the boys in this room and if they knew who you really were they would regret ever defending you." He looked at me dead in the eye.
"And if the accusations turn out to be right, they will regret ever being in the position they are in. Doctor start the test." She clicked on the computer and started pressing buttons.
"Okay Miss Líos, I'm just gonna ask you some questions that will stimulate certain areas of your brain. The heart monitors are just for your blood pressure."
I'm not answering any questions.
"What is your name?" There was a deadly silence in the room. The doctor looked back at the Chief.
"I didnt think I would have to do this." My mother whispered. She walked up to me and bent down.
"Darling, if you don't tell them anything, I have to and I don't want to do that. So please answer the questions." I looked down at her warm brown eyes and sighed.
"Giullianna Melania Líos."
"Date of birth?"
"April 6th,"
"Hair color?"
"Red,"
"Eye color?"
"Hazel." Clearly they can see all of the questions they are asking me.
"We're only testing your response to simple questions. We're ready for the real ones."
"Well go ahead, I don't have time for this."
He flipped through his clipboard and wrote something down. "Okay, can you tell me about your childhood." I looked over at my mom who was facing the other way, leaning on the counter.
"My dad was abusive. He would physically and sexually abuse my mother. And then he would harm us."
"Who's us?"
"My sisters and I."
"Was there any times that your father would break out into any anger for any reason?"
"If your asking if my dad was a high risk Outcast then yes. Eventually he turned into an Other and killed that innocent girl, blew up the school, and killed my sister. But that doesn't mean I have the gene." He stopped and wrote down my answer. "What you think just because I'm a little nuts that I'm an Outcast? Bullshit, you guys are crazy." He wrote down more.
"So you're saying that the little outbursts of anger you portray is because you are more emotionally connected to certain situations more than the average Divine?"
I nodded. "That's accurate. I'd rather be an Outcast than a Divine. I can feel more than anyone."
"So you're not denying the question of being an Outscast?" I actually started to laugh.
"You're trying to twist my words up. I'm not surprised. I bet there are plenty Divine who walked in here never walked out because of your 'accusation procedures'. No I'm not an Outcast, I'm Divine." He stared at me for a few seconds and looked back at the chief.
"My work is done at this point."
"Well what were the results?" He asked.
"I can't tell. It's unclear. She shows signs of being both. And by the way her brain probably recorded, it'll be the same thing."
My stomach tightened up. Oh no.
"We're gonna have to do a blood test." My mom raked her hair back and continued to shake her leg.
"Okay, just give us a few minutes and I'll tell you when to do it." He looked at me with dissapointment and then walked out with all the men. The ones who stayed behind were the ones who around me and my mother.
"Can I have some alone time with my daughter please?" She asked politely. They filed out with the rest of the rest of the group. When they closed the door she quickly sprang foreword.
"Hold out your arm."
"Why?"
"Giullianna, don't question me." I did as she said. She took a little tube and a needle from her skirt pocket.
"You are unbelievable mom."
"This will give them a false reading of the blood test." She took the needle and sucked the stuff from the tube. It was orange colored and it looked thick and gooey. I flinched when she stuck me with the needle and the sore pain took over my arm.
"You get into situations where there are guns, and bombs, and fire and you are still scared of a needle?" I rolled my eyes.
"Okay baby, don't be nervous. You'll do fine."
✴✴✴✴
My heart was beating so fast when he read the results out. Everything just felt like jello as he was reading it.
"She is negative for the Other gene." And then my shoulders fell in great relief. I looked at my mother who had the same reaction I did and smiled.
"Our work here is done." He walked out and so did everyone else. But the chief stayed behind. He told his men to wait outside.
"You grew up so much from the last time I saw you." I disconnected all of the wires from my chest and head.
"You stayed the same. The same asshole I knew." He stuffed his hands in his pants pocket and leaned on the counter.
"You knew, I'm still alive sweetheart."
"But I act as if you are dead." He chuckled at that statement. He started to walk towards me as I was trying to look for my shoes.
"You were so charming that night when I signed those papers. So sexy, so sensual."
"Yeah, and you got what you wanted and now it's over."
"Is it really?" He traced the lines of my bra strap through my shirt. Running his finger down to the band of my leggings.
I let him turn me around by my shoulders, immediately regretting it. He hooked his finger around the front of my bra and pulled me closer.
He let his hands fall at his sides. "You remember don't you."
"Yeah, how could I forget? I slept with the chief. Who could forget that?" He smiled and looked at his feet. He finally showed his younger side. "How old are you again?"
"Thirty six," he placed his hand on my cheek.
"Ah, and this is right to you?" I was almost at a whisper.
"As long as it's okay with you?" I could feel his breath on my shoulders.
Right now, I couldn't resist him. He was so slick with that kind of thing. And I forgot. The last time I saw him was the first time I saw him and that was about three years ago.
He kissed my neck and my jaw. I closed my eyes, remembering what it feels like to have his lips on my body. Why is he so irrestisable? I despise him far away but up close he is unstoppable.
He kissed my chin, feeling a little nibble as he rose higher and planted a kiss on my lips. He kissed my lips again, this time, he stayed longer and I reacted back. He placed his hands on my hips.
I opened my eyes and saw his, reminding me of someone who has those same ones.
I pulled away.
"No! No! I can't believe this is actually happening." I turned around and wiped the feeling away from me lips.
"What's wrong?" I turn around and looked at him disgusted.
"You bastard. You literal bastard. You left your wife, your family behind for this. For pretending you're actually doing something when other people are doing the work for you? And then you go around doing this when you have kids at home thinking their father died protecting this Republic? You disgust me!"
"What, what are you talking about?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm disgusted with myself. For letting you ever touch me. I'm disgusted for not knowing you were someone father." My mind went back to that night after the small ceremony.
"Giullianna, you're going crazy."
"How about you tell that to your son who's at my home wanting a friend. Wanting someone to be their for them when they had know one there. And just to think, I fucked their dad. God damnit!" Now I'm getting the consequences for saying yes to the wrong person. The first person.
"They're really there?" He actually looked converned.
"Now you care. When it's too late."
✴✴✴✴
I didn't want to go inside. I felt guilty. I did something wrong and I can't say what it was because it'll ruin someone's life. I also can't give out any information about the chief.
I didn't know who he was or who anyone was. But I still feel disgusted. Here I am falling for a boy I'm not suppose to have and now I figure out that his dad is the first man I said yes to? Not to mention that he doesn't know his dad's alive and he's all around him.
I hate this. I can't this believe this monstrosity.
I went inside and there he was. I felt the left over alcohol in my system rise up to my throat and settle there.
"Hey, why'd you leave like that?" I closed the door. I didn't say anything, but I gave him a big hug.
"I'm sorry." He hesitantly put his arms around me.
"It's okay."