''Wow, there are a lot of people here.'' Lilly whispers to me, as if anyone could hear us.
It's Saturday afternoon and we are at the West's house because Denise is having a small get together. However, what I thought would be just a few people turns out to be a bigger party.
My dad said it would be just our families, plus a few friends of hers from her work, but there are way too many people here. I'm just glad he let me invite Lilly, that way I don't feel so out of place.
It's not exactly a party, but it does feel like it. Only the adult kind. You don't see people going around with red cups or loud music blasting everywhere. It's just nice chattering, soft lounge music and wine drinking in the politest way, with everyone dressing nicely.
Opposite to the indecent clothes many people our age would probably choose as an outfit.
Thank God I'm wearing a cute navy blue dress that is fancier than what I'd normally wear and it actually makes me feel older than seventeen.
I can't lie, I miss my red converse.
''What's the occasion again?'' Lilly asks, looking around.
''Lawyer stuff, they won in court or something like that. My mom said that Denise wanted to celebrate the success of a big case.'' She nods, not asking further.
Not that I'd be able to give her any details, because I have no idea. I'm not even sure what we are doing here. I just wanted an excuse to see Dylan, while Lilly probably came for the food.
I don't blame her. Denise always hires the best catering, so it's hard not to chase the silver platter and grab as much finger food as you can.
Not that I'll be doing that today. If I do, they will think I'm weird. I'll just sneak into the kitchen later.
I start looking around looking for Dylan, because that's the main reason I came after all, but there's no sign of him.
I thought a lot about how it would be when I met him after last night. I'm curious to see if he'll pretend that yesterday never happened or if he'll bring it up.
I'm not expecting anything special, we just watched movies together, but he did say that we should hang out again, so maybe it's finally my chance.
Although I can't find him anywhere, I do find Bennett.
He's in an excited conversation with my mom. As excited as he can be at least. Bennett looks so comfortable amongst adults that it's easy to forget he's a teenager. He looks so grown up and he definitely fits in this crowd. At least he looks happier to hang out here than with most people our age, including me.
I'm sure he will adjust just fine when he goes to college. He'll be the type that goes to all lectures and doesn't sweat at all to get all assignments done. While some of us will struggle to keep up, I'm sure he'll be the opposite.
Looking at him now and the way he's talking to my mom, like whatever she is saying is so interesting, it makes me feel annoyed and stupid.
He never talks excitedly – or talks at all – with me, even when I try talking to him. Ok, that doesn't happen very often, but it's only because he never engages in whatever I'm saying.
Does he think I'm not smart or interesting enough to have a deeper conversation with?
Well, by the way he usually looks at me, he probably does think I'm stupid.
Sometimes I wonder if he's even from this century, you know? Maybe he's the reincarnation of a lord from the 18th century. Or a time traveler. That would explain a lot.
I spend a moment paying attention to them talking, now thinking why I'm even thinking these things about Bennett, when I finally see him.
Dylan is coming down the stairs, wearing a blue bottom-up shirt and khaki pants, looking as gorgeous as ever. He looks around the room until his eyes land on me and the moment his eyes meet mine, he smiles widely.
I swear that my heart literally stopped as I smile back at him, for real this time.
He walks down to my direction and stops along the way to greet a couple that I've never seen before, probably Denise's friends from the firm.
I glance to my side to find Lilly rolling her eyes. She's happy that he finally noticed me last night, but she is still convinced that he's not the right guy for me.
When he gets to where we are, he softly puts his hand on my back, gives me a kiss on the cheek, making me feel them on fire.
''Hey.'' He says in a low voice, as if whispering.
''Hey back.'' I say, still smiling.
''HI DYLAN!'' Lilly's loud voice startles me and we both look at her. I narrow my eyes, but she just laughs. Such a mood killer. ''Just kidding, you know. Don't mind me, I'll go find myself something to eat.''
Then she's gone. I might have to kill her later for making this awkward on purpose.
''I'm glad that you're here. I wanted to--'' He starts saying but gets cut off by his dad's voice.
Where the hell did he come from? I just saw him across the room.
''Dylan, come here, son. I want to introduce you to Mr. Thompson.'' Dylan looks at me and takes a deep breath, making it clear to me that he doesn't really want to go meet his parents' friends. ''I'll talk to you later?''
I nod, still intoxicated by his proximity. The moment he's gone, I look at my mom, who is still talking to Bennett, but this time Bennett's eyes are on me.
He has a frown on his face and looks annoyed. I look away and turn my back to him, feeling somehow embarrassed. It's like I was caught doing something wrong and I don't like this feeling.
It just reminds me again why I hate the way he looks at me with those judgmental eyes of his.
You know what? I don't care, I'll go find Lilly.
I go to the kitchen hoping to find her where the food is and I actually do find her there, but instead of eating the West's whole catering stock, she's talking to a guy who looks much older than her.
''Don't you think our constitution should be reviewed? I mean, when was it amended for the last time? Forever ago! The world has changed so much, that come on, we could use an update. Do you think it's even inclusive enough?''
I look from afar waiting to see what the man will answer, but he just looks as taken aback by her as I do. Sometimes I forget that Lilly is also the grown-up type. She definitely fits in here as well.
Just like Bennett.
Well, maybe not exactly like him as she is fun and can enjoy her teenage years, while he can't.
Maybe I should be more like them. I feel so out of place that I question if I shouldn't be home studying instead.
I decide against interrupting their intellectual conversation, so I go back to the living room.
I stay in a corner, trying to be invisible as I fit the floor. Maybe if no one talks to me they won't realize I have nothing interesting to say.
I sigh, feeling a wave of sadness invading me. God, I look like a lost puppy.
''Here.'' I look up to find a glass of juice in front of me. When I lift my sight even higher to see who is giving it to me, I find Bennett's examining, but this time, soft eyes.
''Thanks.'' I accept the glass, taking it from his hand and drinking it, almost all at once.
''Are you ok?'' He asks, seeming genuinely concerned.
''I mean, it's not like I can't find someone to talk to without feeling completely stupid, but yeah, I'm fine.'' I blurt out without even thinking, being obviously sarcastic.
''You're not stupid. These conversations that are just too boring.'' Is it my impression or he's trying to comfort me?
Well, I'm sure he's pitying the 'not smart enough' girl in the room.
''Then you and Lilly can talk about boring stuff, I'm the one who doesn't fit in.''
''Who says you have to fit in?'' He immediately challenges me and I look at him, considering it for a moment.
He's actually right. I don't have to fit in with these people, but I can't help but feel insecure about it. I wish I could be more like him or Lilly and not feel like I don't belong here.
He leans closer, enough for me to feel his cologne - which smells great by the way - but he just wanted to say something without being heard. ''Trust me, I'd rather be doing anything else rather than talk with a bunch of arrogant, stuck-up lawyers.''
I snort a small laugh and when I face him again, his intense eyes are fixed on mine, a bit too close. I just noticed his eyes are a shade lighter today. It's usually so dark, but not today.
It looks so beautiful, to be honest.
That's a weird thing to notice.
''Can I tell you a secret ?'' He whispers and I nod. ''I hate this. Crowds freak me out.''
''Really?'' I never thought Bennett didn't like hanging around a lot of people. I mean, he's quiet and doesn't like parties, yes, but I guess I thought it was only because people in our school are usually idiots. ''You seem to fit in just fine here.''
''I'm good at pretending.'' He smiles. ''I'm just saying this because I know it might look like you're not at the right place, but everyone is dealing with their own stuff. Don't be too hard on yourself.''
I consider what he said and I open my mouth to ask why he doesn't like crowds, when Denise's voice gets our attention.
''Bennett, sweetheart, could you come here for a second? Selma wants to talk to you.''
''I'm coming." He replies to his mom without taking his eyes off of mine. "See? You're lucky. I have to go back to boring stuff, while you can enjoy your night.''
He rolls his eyes and makes a fake winced face, only to get another snort of laugh out of me. Bennett making jokes is something I don't see everyday. More like, I never see.
''Thanks. For the juice and for cheering me up.''
He gives me a small smile in response, before he turns around to go talk to his mom and her friend.
Can anyone explain to me how this guy works? I mean, one moment he's looking at me with scrutinizing eyes when I was talking to Dylan and the next moment, he's saying nice things to make me feel better.
I don't get him. At all.
After he is gone and I feel a bit less out of place, I walk around the room, only stopping when I spot Dylan again, who is now talking to a guy who seems more interested in the conversation than he does.
I lean on the doorframe and take a moment to watch him.
''Here is your chance.'' Lilly is now by my side and whispering in my ear. ''You should tell him how you feel, like, now. Look at him, he looks like he's dying talking to those people.''
I shake my head. I won't tell him how I feel in the middle of his parents' party, but I do want to talk to him. I'm making my way to where he is, when a couple approaches him and when they start talking, I stop.
That's how the rest of the night goes and I feel completely exhausted by the time we head home.
I'm also a bit frustrated.
I was with Lilly most of the time, but she would engage in some political conversation from time to time that would just leave me feeling like a third wheel in the topic.
But I'm mostly annoyed because I didn't have the chance to spend time with Dylan. The few times we actually tried to talk, we were interrupted by someone else. I was hoping to hang out with him today, so yeah, it sucks.
Letting this go for a while, just because I'm too tired to think about it, I take a relaxing shower and after I dry my hair, I feel ready for a good night of sleep.
As soon as I'm in the comfort of my pillow, I hear my phone buzz on my nightstand.
I get it thinking that it's probably Lilly sending me a funny meme, but I practically jump on my feet when I see the name on the screen.
Dylan is texting me!
Did you hear me? Dylan. West. Is. Texting. Me.
Hey, sorry we couldn't hang out today. What about movie on Friday? - Dylan
I look at the screen blinking once, twice, three times just to make sure I'm not dreaming.
Is he asking me out? What if it's just two friends hanging out, not exactly a date?
Hey, that's ok. You were busy. ;) Movie on Friday sounds nice.
Did I sound chill enough? Like, playing it cool in case it's not what I'm thinking?
It's a date then :) - Dylan
HOLY FREAKING SHIT! It's exactly what I thought.
I'm going on a date with Dylan.
.........................
I can't even begin to describe how incredibly slowly this week is going by.
All I can think about is my date with Dylan and I must say I'm not able to concentrate on anything other than that.
''It's finally happening, Lilly.'' I told her when we were at the school's cafeteria. I couldn't focus on the first half of the day, so hopefully by talking about it with her, I would be able to be a better student in the afternoon.
''Yeah, finally. I must say I thought that this day would never come for real.''
''Thanks so much for the confidence in me. Such a good friend." She puts her hand to her heart as if she's hurt by my sarcastic words.
''Don't get me wrong, Alex, but this day could have happened a lot sooner. I'm happy for you though.'' She takes a bite of her sandwich and I do the same with my pasta. ''So, what was that with Bennett on dinner?''
''What are you talking about?'' I ask, not really knowing what she means.
''I saw you all sad on the corner and I was going to talk to you, but then I saw Bennett on the rescue and I refrained myself. You seemed close. I mean, closer than usual.''
''He was just being friendly, I guess. He probably saw that I was lonely because my best friend ditched me and he was feeling sorry for me.'' I smirk at her.
''Don't be dramatic. I didn't ditch you.'' I just shrug, because she so did ditch me. ''He seemed to have cheered you up.''
''Surprisingly, he did.'' When I think about it, maybe Bennett is not that bad after all.
I mean, there are moments like Friday that he's not a complete weirdo and I feel like we could be friends again.
I glance at his table to find his friends talking excitedly, while he's typing on his phone and I wonder who he is talking to. He then looks up just to catch me staring.
It's too late to pretend I'm not totally looking, so instead of looking away, I wave at him. He waves back, with a tiny smile on his face.
''Alex, this is what I'm talking about. Did you see the way you were looking at each other?'' She leans on the table and whispers, with a creepy smile on her face.
''Lilly, sometimes I think you hit your head too hard when you were a kid. We weren't looking at each other in any way. I'm going on a date with his brother. This is what we should be talking about. End of the story.'' I desperately need to change the subject here. ''Let's talk about something else, please."
''Changing the topic, I see. Fine, let's talk about something else, but you know I'm right." I blink innocently.
"Sure you are.'' I roll my eyes. ''So, have you seen this year's play?'' I ask, taking the conversation to a completely different direction.
''Hell yeah! I'm definitely going to sign up for an audition. I desperately want the lead role. Are you going to sign up? You have to, it's in the bucket list, remember?"
You see, there's one thing about our school. The Drama club's yearly play is not just a play, it's the most important event of the entire year for seniors. Well, apart from prom, but it's pretty close.
Millburn High is famous for its original plays and everyone wants to be part of it. Literally everyone. Even the popular kids participate. Needless to say that Dylan was the star last year. I've never seen the auditorium so crowded.
They open for registration for the entire class and whoever decides to be part of it, cast or crew, gets extra credits. Not that this is the only motivation, it's indeed very cool and every club gets to engage somehow in production.
Everyone is excited for this year - just like every year - but now we get to be part of it, as seniors.
What is usually seen as a dork thing is actually super cool in our school. This year, it will be a reinterpretation of the Wizard of Oz, only in modern times, using a lot of metaphors and also adding dramatic romance.
''Yeah, I'll probably sign up for the production. You know I'm a terrible actress, so crew it is.''
''You should be part of the musical staff. You know, you could play the piano.'' She smiles.
''I don't play anymore, you know that.'' Lilly has been trying to get me to play again for a while. It's been a couple years that I don't even touch a piano and I do miss it sometimes, but I don't know. I guess it's just not for me anymore.
''I know you don't, but you should.'' I give her a pointed look. She's determined to annoy me today. ''Ok, ok, never mind.''
Before we go to our next class, we stop by the board where the registration for the play is, so we can write our names on it. The lists are already almost full and while Lilly writes her name for the audition, I include my name on the staff paper.
I go to my next class, thinking of the one thing that is dominating all my thoughts. I'm so looking forward to the weekend, but before I have to deal with the most exciting thing of my life.
School.
Yeah, note the sarcasm please.
.........................
Hello Lovely Readers,
Here it is today's chapter. I know this one is more like a filler chapter, but trust me, a lot will happen, not to mention that the school play & piano & a date are quite a big deal!
I don't want to give spoilers, but one of my favorite scenes is connected to the auditorium, the school play AND playing piano, so I can't wait to share it with you!
Pleeeease, comment, vote and let me know what you think! I'm loving your comments so much. It means the world to me. I hope you are enjoying the story so far!
Love,
Me