A/N: I should probably start putting these, shouldn't I? TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions and depictions of serious past parental abuse. Believe me, when I say I make Van Eck a monster, I really mean it. Good luck!
What an absolute cart-crash.
Basically everything that could have gone wrong had gone wrong, apart from that they hadn't died. Though one of them was now laying on what might be his deathbed. But Kaz supposed he could stay positive...
He was positive things couldn't have gone worse.
Now Kaz sat in the Crows' room, cane flicking from gloved hand to hand. For a moment he wished he could remove the gloves, just to feel the warmth of life flowing through his fingertips instead of the cold, black reality of leather. Then, he remembered who he was; Dirtyhands, cool and composed, yet lethal in everything he did, whether it was torturing or slaughtering or sorting out gang bills.
Yet Kaz couldn't help but feel on edge. His Crows were scattered, none of them focused ever since Jesper had run off and retrieved an unconscious Wylan. It had highlighted just how vulnerable they all were; they weren't magic immortals that would always be able to survive a scrape, and they weren't all-knowing. Wylan had proved just that tonight.
It was these facts that haunted Kaz's mind now, and he was sure he wasn't the only one.
"What are you still doing here?" Kaz snapped as Jesper entered the room. There was only one word he could use to describe Jesper; dull. His usual sharpshooter charm had vanished, replaced with a weariness he only seemed to get after losing a whole stack of kruge, and even then he usually remained resilient. It was one of the things Kaz both envied and admired about Jesper; no matter the job, no matter the risks, he did it anyway. It was also terrifying.
"Inej can sort it out better than I can, I'm not going anywhere," Jesper said defiantly.
Kaz was about to roll his eyes and insert a sarcastic remark, but some part of him stopped him, a part that he found daring and dangerous, yet gentle and comforting.
Silence filled the room once more. Jesper, as usual, was the one to break it.
"Has Nina... I mean... how-"
"She hasn't told me anything yet. His injuries didn't seem too severe from what I could tell. No need to worry."
His words were a poor attempt at comfort, but they only seemed to enrage Jesper. "No need to worry? Wylan nearly had himself blown up, shot and stabbed out there tonight because you failed to plan ahead! It was your idea to send him out in the first place! For all we know he could already be-"
"May I remind you that it was his idea to come out tonight? I told him it was dangerous, and he didn't care, which I thought you of all people would understand! Being a Dreg means living in danger, and if it weren't for me he would already be dead, but this time floating in Reaper's Barge where no one would know he had ever existed!" Kaz yelled, his frustration from the night's failures fuelling his fury.
"You're the one that planned the assassination! Why did you even take the money if you knew who he was?"
"How was I supposed to know you would chicken out and not kill him! Rithouse only came for Wylan, and if he was already dead then he would have laid off! So maybe you should have killed him in the first place, Jesper. Have you ever thought about that?!"
He had gone too far.
Jesper was towering over Kaz in seconds, his height suddenly becoming an annoying advantage. "Don't. You. Dare." He hissed, his eyes ablaze in a way that Kaz had never seen before. "You don't deserve to talk about him like that. Not with him lying almost-dead on some dirty table after saving you-" he jabbed a finger at Kaz, and Kaz shuddered away. "-and all of our sorry Barrel rat asses. He shouldn't be part of your dirty gang. He should be... he should be-"
Both boys jumped as a door opened and slammed shut, and Matthias came barging down the stairs, clearly barely keeping his own anger in check.
"What is the matter with you two?" He said indignantly. "Nina is up there right now working her... her... 'backside'... off to help Wylan, and your child-like arguing is definitely not helping! If you care even the slightest for him at all then you will shut up and respect your saviour! Don't make him question why he chose us to save, because I already am!"
Silence once again. Jesper backed away, not before delivering Kaz a withering glare. Kaz merely returned it before they both slumped into opposite armchairs.
"Thank you." Matthias said with a hint of triumph in his voice; he clearly thought he had bested Kaz, the infamous demjin in some way. It was almost enough to make him laugh, despite everything.
Jesper clearly agreed as their eyes met, Jesper's glistening as his face played with a hidden smile. Once again, Kaz returned it, hoping that this would stay normal. This playful banter. The world was succumbing to an earthquake, and Kaz was holding onto whatever parts he could. But if this; this calm, light feeling could stay forever, he would welcome it. They all needed it.
"He'll be fine, Jes," Kaz said softly.
"Tch," Jesper snorted. "How do you know? It all happened so fast."
"It's no one's fault, Jesper. We all know that we would do anything to have kept a Crow safe, and if Wylan doesn't think that then he will learn it. We... we're... we all care." Matthias managed.
Jesper rubbed his hands over his face. "Saints, why did I have to get the money? If it weren't for me he would be safe playing a flute in some mansion."
Kaz bristled at this. "You seem to have forgotten that you saved him, Jesper. You picked him up from the streets and somehow managed to control yourself enough not to shoot him at first glance, Saint knows how you did it! If anyone is to blame here it's..." the answer came to Kaz a heartbeat later. "It's Jan Van Eck's! Blame Van Eck for throwing his son out just because he couldn't read a few letters on a piece of paper. If he is stupid enough to do that then the Slat is a better place for Wylan then any mansion!"
Jesper stared at Kaz, processing his monologue. Kaz huffed out a breath, returning to his normal stature and facial expression. It felt good to realise that, for once, a merchant was to blame for their problems. And what he said was true; Wylan didn't deserve to be at a place like that. No... he had it wrong; Wylan deserved so much more than that. That was what had been proved tonight. And Kaz would give it to him, as best as he could. After all, it was rare a Crow ever forgot a debt.
Jesper seemed to be thinking the same thing, his eyes alight with his usual sharpshooter-ness. He looked ready to win a game, for once. To shoot at a perfect target. To conquer Ketterdam, if he so pleased.
Inej had slunk in, Kaz observed, though no one else did.
"The perimeters are sealed, Kaz." She murmured. Matthias jumped.
"Give me a warning the next time you do that, please!" He protested.
Inej smiled. "It wouldn't be half as fun then, would it?"
Things seemed... normal. Like they hadn't just walked out of one of the worst scrapes they had ever been in, nearly being blown to smithereens in the process. Still, Kaz smirked to himself; if they could walk out of that then they could walk through Hell and back while dancing a jig.
Yes, things seemed normal. And that was why everyone hushed immediately when Nina walked in, her face grave.
"I think you should come see this," she gestured to Kaz.
Jesper surged forward. "How is he? Is he awake? Did you heal him? Is he alright?"
"Hush, Jesper," Matthias soothed, stopping him with one big hand to the shoulder.
Nina gestured again and Kaz followed, not quite knowing what to expect as he was led up the stairs, but he knew it would be anything but good.
"So that's all of it then." Kaz said matter-of-factly, but inside he was screaming. It changed nothing, it barely made a difference to the situation they were in. In fact, he shouldn't have even been surprised. But Kaz still was.
"He never said anything," Nina whispered as they both stared down at the small boy curled up on the table, still unconscious. "Maybe he didn't trust us enough."
"Or maybe he didn't want to be a burden," Kaz suggested. "We all carry scars Nina. Some see them as trophies, others see them as mountains. Wylan sees them as shameful things."
"But I could have done something for him. I could have... I could have gotten rid of them! I mean, he's been with us for two months already! I wish-"
"You wish the world was kind and it's people kinder, Zenik. It seems your lover is paying off on you. It's too late now, but what can be done for him?"
But Nina had stopped listening, and was instead staring at the doorway, her eyes glistening with pity. Kaz knew who it was before he even turned around.
It was Jesper, his face dark, his hands balled up to his fists as he walked towards the table slowly. The rest of the crows weren't far behind, but they stopped dead when they saw him.
Wylan lay curled up on the table, a small pool of blood surrounding him, but it seemed to be smaller. His breathing was barely audible, meaning Nina had put him deeper into sleep. But it wasn't any of that that both fascinated and horrified Kaz. It was his back.
Wylan's blood-soaked shirt had been lifted up to reveal the horrible map of burns from whatever acid he had been rolling around in, and the messily done up scar that lay vertically across his back. But, having looked closer, other scars were also visible. They were long, and flat, and had clearly dug deep into the skin, but light enough not to cause serious harm. Some smaller, older looking ones were precise, carefully put marks that could have been made by Dirtyhands himself. But gradually as they got fresher-looking they became wobbly and angry, struck with much more vigor and emotion this time. Some were still healing and weeping, though Nina had attempted to stop them. They were the clear marks of a whip.
No one dared break the silence, as if saying anything would make it all the more real. Kaz wished it wasn't real. Or, even more than that, he wished Wylan had had a loving, kind childhood that had kept him safe until he was ready to become a millionaire. But it hadn't. And the broken pieces had been left at his door to fix.
It was Jesper that moved first, slowly walking forward as if a wild animal might pounce forward and attack. He stood over Wylan, his eyes surprisingly calm. Then, without hesitation, he laid a gentle hand on Wylan's head, rubbing his fingers through the boy's hair. His eyes were soft as Wylan moved slightly in his sleep, pushing his head deeper into Jesper's palm, making small whines of pain as his back shifted.
Wylan turned suddenly, and Kaz was glad he couldn't see the boy's back anymore; it merely filled him with a new kind of guilt. Jesper crouched down so he was level with him. Kaz was shocked to see bright blue fill the sorrowful room as Wylan stirred.
"Jes?" He managed croakily, his ocean eyes never leaving Jesper's cloudy ones.
"Shh, Wy. Go back to sleep." He gripped Wylan's hand in his own, stroking the bandages comfortingly. "I'll be right here. We all will."
Wylan nodded, his eyes closing, the light going out. His breathing went low again.
Jesper rose, and turned back to the others, but this time, he looked ready to maim.
"I'm going to kill that son of a bitch!" He hissed. And Kaz didn't doubt it for one moment.
"No, you won't. It will only make things worse-"
"How? That slimy rat is a worse criminal than any of us, he deserves to pay!" Jesper yelled, his fingers flicking at his gun holster. Kaz had never seen him this riled up before.
It was Inej that managed to calm him down. "Killing him won't heal Wylan, nor will he thank you for it. He needs you here for him, right now. Van Eck can wait. We don't need any more deaths tonight."
"It was Van Eck?" Matthias asked, pure hurt in his eyes. "Van Eck did this to his own son!"
"It doesn't surprise me much. He did order his own son's assassination!" Kaz said. It was a downright lie. Kaz was ablaze with fury; how dare Van Eck lay a finger on someone as valuable as the merchling. How dare he act like a high born, stuck up merchant when he was an abuser and a real demjin. How dare he seem so perfect to the real world that even Kaz was fooled the man could not be faulted, but behind closed doors he was a villain. And Wylan... smart, sweet, brave Wylan... was the one to suffer for it. For once Jesper's anger actually seemed logical.
"There is nothing else we can do. Nina, finish up your work and help Matthias find Wylan his own room. Inej, we have some things to discuss and Jesper-"
Shoot. He was gone.
"Inej! Go after him! If he gets to Van Eck then he's a dead man!"
Inej swept into action immediately, racing to the wall and jumping from the open window. Matthias and Nina looked terrified.
"She'll catch him, right?" Nina asked.
Kaz hoped so. He really hoped so. He couldn't bear the thought of losing a Crow like that. He couldn't bear the thought of losing Jesper.