The love between Ethan and Indra isn't true love. It's lust. It's always and forever will be lust. No matter how many times they scream, cry and fight they always end up back together because the sexual attraction is stronger. They haven't spoken in a week, but something will click and they'll end up back in his bed. It makes me sick.
He doesn't deserve her and he will never be worthy of her. He is manipulative and narcissistic. He doesn't listen to her and is never there for her.
She is beautiful. So fucking beautiful. She is a star and I would become an astronomer for her and I would study for the rest of my life and I would bleed, sweat and cry day and night just so I can understand her beauty. I would want the other stars to be jealous of her since no matter how big and bright they shine, she will always be the brightest one illuminating the night sky.
She's better than everyone. I constantly think about how she can do so much better and how she deserves to be with someone who will notice everything amazing about her and not just use her.
She needs to be with someone who will notice how she laughs. How confident she is. How she talks. The way her smile is different from the rest and the way her eyes glow when you talk about the stars. They should notice how her hair flows and how she can talk all day.
She needs to be with me.
But, she's "in love" with him. That fucking asshole. The attention seeking cunt that can't pay his rent. I hate him!
My best friend, Atlas has been asking me for years why I chose to live with Ethan instead of him. I give him the same answer every time. "I've lived with Ethan before you finished high school." Same answer every time. When Atlas finished high school the same year I finished my first year in college he had decided to stay in the NYU dorms.
"Snap out of it, Luke." My other best friend shoves me. Dylan Romeo Astor III, my best friend since high school.
I blink a couple of times and I look over at him. He's wearing a plain gray shirt and black basketball shorts. Dylan is always dressed for the occasion and does a great job at it, but today. Not so much.
"He has a crush on some girl." Atlas opens his mouth and I look over at him spinning around on my desk chair like a four-year-old. He has the mindset of a four-year-old. "Who is she?"
"There is no she," I tell them both.
"Then who is he?" Atlas laughs as he continues to spin on the chair. I roll my eyes at him. "Am I pissing you off?" He asks, pushing the chair closer to me, and I can hear the humor in his voice as he relaxes in the chair.
I look over, seeing him stare at my white-knuckled fist. "I don't get so easily pissed off," I mumble, seeing his head tilt back and his eyes hooded.
"Come on, we are going to play lacrosse." Dylan taps me on the shoulder and I start laughing at his face. He always gets me with these jokes. I look up at him and his face is serious. "Oh... you are not joking." My voice cracks. He shakes his head left to right. Does he think I'm playing?
Atlas starts to walk out of my door and I get a whiff of chocolate. I follow behind the two and I come to notice Ethan in the kitchen... baking?
I clear my throat to get his attention and he looks directly at me. Like he's watching my soul. "Your friends are here again." Even his voice annoys me. I seriously wish I could kill him.
"It's my apartment more than it is yours, Ethan." I correct him as I own 75% of the apartment. Ethan has a problem with fucking everything. I am so close to stabbing him.
"What's going on here?" My eyebrows furrow as I question him while Atlas is near the oven watching whatever is baking. "I'm making brownies." He replies. Ethan has not once baked or even cooked. He can make coffee and that's it, but it's never good coffee. It tastes like burnt dirt.
Maybe he poisoned the brownies.
He looks me in the eye and notices that I'm still a bit confused. "For Indra. You know to say I am sorry." Someone give me a plate, I'm going to throw it at his face! I take a deep breath from my nose in order to contain the amount of hatred I have for him. "She loves them."
No, she doesn't. She loves pies with fruits in them. Preferably cherry or strawberry with whipped cream, but she wouldn't mind apples either. She especially loves Veronica's homemade Strawberry pie. But he wouldn't know, would he?
I walk out of the apartment as Dylan drags Atlas out with him because who am I to say something?
She chose him over me anyway.
And unfortunately, it's going to be like that for a while.
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Dylan and Atlas are competing while I just sit on the bench with a cigarette placed between my lips. Lacrosse isn't exactly my strong suit. I tried out for the team in high school, but I never got in.
Dylan is exceptionally good at it. Unlike me, he made it onto the team. He played since Freshman year and eventually became vice captain. I'm surprised that he was my friend in high school. Now we're finishing college, yet we are still friends.
Atlas and I have been friends longer. Almost our entire lives. He moved schools when I was in the sixth grade and he was in the fifth. He still acted like a four-year-old back then.
Both Atlas and I came to NYU as it is close to home and there is nothing I hate more than being home sick.
It's also great that we came here because if we hadn't I wouldn't have met Indra.
When I first saw her on campus grounds she looked familiar. Like I have known her for years. Like I have read about her in a book. I realized I knew who she was the minute I walked into my apartment that rainy night. And then I knew who she was every other day when she would hang out with Ethan and my heart was crushed into ashes. I thought that if I ignored her, my little crush would eventually crush too.
Little spoiler alert, it didn't work. Seeing her every day at my apartment made me fall in love with her even more.
"Luke! Come play!" Atlas screams across the field for me with his helmet off. He lets his guard down and the ball collides with his face. I don't even notice the ball until Atlas falls to the floor.
I did say Dylan is good at lacrosse.
Atlas stands back up and blood runs down from his lip. He notices the blood but just rubs it off. "That's all you got." He gets back into position and continues to play.
"Dude... your lip-" Dylan tries to speak. "Is perfectly fine!" I cut him off. If Atlas sees blood, he faints and I don't want to drag him back home.
Atlas shrugs, tightening his grip on his lacrosse stick. "Luke! Join the game, Atlas is too easy to beat." I shake my head and continue laughing. Not in a million years am I going to play lacrosse with Dylan Astor.
I already suck and this dude will put me in my grave. "We didn't bring you here to just sit around and do nothing!"
"I didn't want to come so I might as well head back home." I stand up - walking out of the court when I hear something thud. I turn around to the pair and Atlas is laying on the ground... again.
"He looked away and it hit his face." Dylan points out, chewing his nails as worry takes over his face. "There is-uh-blood coming out of his nose and... his eye is black."
I walk over to Atlas and he starts laughing. He is a real psychopath. He finds laughter in his pain! We pull him up and his laughter continues. "That is enough lacrosse for a day. We can't have you breaking an arm."
We get him off the field and back to Marcus's apartment building. We drag him into the elevator - his face is fucked up. The elevator door opens and I drag him out.
He has lost so much blood in the last hour that the once white shirt he was wearing has turned red. He can barely stand, but he is still laughing hysterically.
I knock on the door to Atlas's dorm expecting his roommate, but instead Indra opens the door. I freeze, looking at her as she notices the body on the ground and starts giggling. "What the hell happened?" She asks while I look behind me to Dylan. "Wrong dorm."
"Lacrosse," Dylan replies. "Do you know where his dorm is?" She points to the dorm across, opening her door more. "Just bring him in here, I'll take him to his dorm later." I drag Atlas in - helping him on her bed while Indra goes to the bathroom to get some stuff.
"Here!" Dylan says, tossing a bag of frozen peas my way that he must've gotten from the mini fridge in here and I don't catch it. Sports is seriously not made for me.
I pick it up and place it on his eye, he groans at the pain as Indra comes back to the room - standing next to me with a cloth in her hand. She starts dapping the blood away.
My heart hammers and my stomach forms knots as I watch her every movement. She's so beautiful that even stars come down to see her shine brighter than them. Her jaw flexes, and I gaze at her pretty little throat, my fingers humming with the urge to hold her throat and kiss her until she bites my lip off for me to finally stop. "Tilt your head back, Atlas." He keeps on laughing as he does what she says.
"Luke, I need you to hold this here." She tells me, taking my hands to show me where to hold the cloth by his nose. She touches me and I feel my heart stop and my mouth water. "When it stops bleeding, give him these." She places two pills on the bedside table and starts to walk out.
"Are you going to Edward's?" I ask her. "It's Ethan." Indra corrects me. "See I cannot even remember his name," I tell her, holding the bag of peas to Atlas's eye. "You're hurting me, dude." Atlas says, trying to lift my hand.
"It's your roommate." She tells me. "Your point?" I ask her as Dylan groans. See, I am not the only person who hates him. Maybe I should start a Ethan hate club.
If he wanted to apologize to her, he shouldn't have asked her to come over. What an asshole! Letting his girlfriend walk alone in the night. "I need to head back, I can walk you there."
"Sure. Dylan, you need to give him the pills. Bye!" He has no choice but to help Atlas since he hurt him.
I quickly walk out with her. I can't believe that I'm about to walk the girl I love to her boyfriend so he can apologize.
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