************************
Warning: This chapter contains swearing and self harm. In case it triggers you, please just skip it.
************************
{Justin's P.O.V}
My heart was stinging me. My eyes also stung. My head was on fire. My body was having periodic goosebumps appearance. The world seemed to be turning. I couldn't see things clearly for my vision was clouded but I still held unto the bottle, like it was the one that'll prevent me from falling.
"Wow, you're pregnant"
"Yes, Justin. I'm going to be a mother" I remembered her say, with all joy and happiness.
I should be happy for her. Fuck, I hate myself.
Why can't I just be happy for her?
She's my friend. My best friend.
And she's having the best time of her life. I should be happy that she's having the child of the man she loves so much.
But my heart doesn't like the news my brain keeps telling it. That news was like a sharp knife stabbed deep into my heart. The pain was more like an agony for me.
How do I explain it?
"Don't you think we've had enough to drink, Justin?" I heard her ask. That was Tina. Her voice reminded me that I wasn't here alone.
We had originally come here to have a talk, but then she ordered alcohol and here we are, drinking away our sorrows instead of having a heartfelt conversation.
I opened the seventh Alcoholic bottle and chugged down half the contents without a break for fresh air. The alcohol was supposed to be drowning away my sorrows but it seems like my sorrows were drowning the alcohol.
This would never have happened if I had told her my feelings eight years ago. I hate myself. The fact that I had loved her before Ezra came into the picture. That I was too shy to tell her my feelings, so I dropped anonymous letters in her locker, forging my father's handwriting. That I was part of the reason Ezra broke up with her. I knew why Ezra broke her heart but kept silent, cause I just wanted her to my bloody self without telling her why. That one of the fucking reasons I hate Dure, is because he snatched my woman from me.
I picked up the bottle which I just recently opened and smashed it to the wall. It scattered and the people sitting there had to leave the place.
"Smashing competition?... I like that" I heard Tina say as she took her own bottle and smashed it on the wall.
I hate him. For taking away the woman I love. I hate him. I also hate her. For not noticing my feelings towards her, I hate her. But most of all, I hate myself. For not being able to tell her what I felt, I hate myself. More than I hate anyone. Fuck.
I took one of the empty bottles, and smashed it on the wall. Tina took another one and smashed it on the same place. She seemed to be enjoying it while I was wishing that Dure was the bloody wall which I was smashing the bottles on. I wish I saw him bleed and beg me to stop.
I hate him. I hate her too. I hate her more than I love her. She made me go through pain. She made me yearn for her attention. She made me think about her throughout the night. She made me have sleepless night. All for what?
Just to see her marry someone else?
Or just to see her happy with a man who she should clearly hate?
Or just to see her have a happy home with someone else?
But I hate myself more, cause I know that I could have avoided this. I could have stopped this. I could have just told her my feelings.
She would have been my wife, and the baby she's carrying would've been my child!
I could taste my salty tears, as I sat down on the floor and burst into tears. I couldn't hold my feelings anymore. I reached out to the table to pick another empty bottle to smash but there was not a single bottle on the table. I had smashed them all even more than what Tina smashed.
Anger engulfed me more, that there wasn't a way to let off all this anger. I picked up on of the pieces of the broken bottles and put it to my neck.
I just want to end this wretched life. I'm tired of having to suffer this. The one who I held out too long enough, doesn't even know I exist for her. So what's the point?
I was determined to slit my own throat but someone held my hand tightly, preventing from cutting myself.
I could see the blurry face of James.
"Give me that!". I heard him say, but I had made up my mind that not even him would stop me from leaving this world, today.
"Justin, give this to me!"
"Let me go"
"Justin, give me this". He snatched the glass from my hand cutting himself and myself in the process. Then before I could struggle more with him, I felt a sharp hit on my neck, and all became dark, more quickly than I expected.
__________________✍️
"Fuck" I cursed as I opened my eyes and sat up from the bed. I had to out my head in my hands cause it was as if someone was drilling a hole in my head. I could feel sharp pain from my forehead to the back of my head.
"Fuck" I groaned. The pain didn't leave like it was supposed to. It only became worse.
"I'd have said good morning but I'm glad karma beat me to it". I heard James say. I tried to open my eyes without feeling that sharp pain again but the pain came worse than it should have originally been, making me to squeeze my eyes shut.
"Take this. I'd have loved to see you suffer but I can see you're in enough heartache". He said as he put something that felt like a little pill in my hands. I squinted my eyes open just to see what he gave me. It was painkiller and a cup of water.
I took it with immediacy before throwing the cup into James hands.
I rested my head on the headboard, resting one of my arms above my head. I could open my eyes a little but not fully for the pain was still there.
"How do you feel now?" He asked me.
"I'm getting better". I croaked out in reply.
" I'm not asking about your headache. I'm asking about your heartache? Does it feel better?" He asked me. Flashes of yesterday came before my eyes and all I could remember was smashing bottles on the wall.
I smiled and shaked my head "I'm getting better".
"I thought you'd say that. That's why I got you this ticket". He said, handing over to me a plane ticket.
"What's this?" I asked him, clearly not understanding why he was giving me this.
"A plane ticket to Paris". He replied like it was obvious.
"For what?"
"A healing Vacation for you".
"Healing? From what?"
"From your heartaches and your pain. I'm guessing what triggered your pain the more is the constant appearance of Nora in your life. If you leave from sometime, you might be able to get over it".
"This isn't necessary". I told him, putting back the ticket in his hand.
"Well, tell me what is necessary? Because I ain't ready to bury my own friend with my own hands! Got that?... So it's either you take this plane ticket or you take this plane ticket. Pick one!" James said clearly irritated.
I kept silent and closed my eyes, resting my head back on the headboard.
"I'll leave you to think about it!" I heard James say before sounds of angry footsteps and a slam of the door.
He's right though. Maybe being away from Nora will totally cure this for me. Maybe I'll be better if I just stay away for at least two years. That'll be better for the two of us.
I do pray that time heals my broken heart. But I fear that even if time heals it, it'll never be the same as before.
💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝
ᴀ ᴅᴏᴜʙʟᴇ ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇ. ʏᴀʏʏʏ. ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ɪ ᴛʀʏ?
ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ɴᴇᴡ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ. ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ.
ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀʟꜱᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴇᴀꜱʏ ꜰᴏʀ ɴᴏʀᴀ. ʟᴇᴛ'ꜱ ꜱᴘɪᴄᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ.
💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙