. . .
DÍS
. . .
Dís tried to keep ahead of the tension by looking around. The streams were surrounded by high, white buildings that bathed in a light blue gloom. It was probably the reflection of the moonlight, but Dís had never seen something like that and she could only credit its beauty to magic.
The elf houses were high and turreted, as if they all tried to come as close to the stars as possible. Arched bridges connected the buildings and the white stones that lied upon the path glittered like a silver wedding dress. A sigh slipped her lips. This place seemed so perfect it could only be an illusion, a facade to veil something horrific.
They crossed a square. To the right of them was a fountain that waded transparent water. It made Dís remember her thirst and the other things that bothered her: her hungry stomach, her hurt feet and her heavy eyelids.
On the square stood a building that was larger than the others. White pillars arose out of the ground and bore a triangular roof. The walls were smooth and simple, without complex carvings and sculpted figures. The simplicity emphasized its beauty and it made her hold her breath. It differed from the palace she'd lived in, but it was unmistakably the home of a king. An elf king.
The two elves spoke some words to the guards that stood at the end of the shining stairs.
"Come in," someone said.
Dís stretched her hand towards the balustrade and lifted herself up step by step. The stairway was made for creatures that were twice as tall as she was, so it took a lot of effort to get to the top. Fíli would however be helped when she got there and that promise helped her to move on.
Once she was there, she intertwined her fingers while walking behind the elves that took her son to a chamber. The roof was open and moonlight shone inside, upon a bed with a pallid blanket.
"Lord Elrond is on his way," an elf announced.
Dís stared out of the window. How would the man react on their arrival? It was in the middle of the night and they kept him from sleeping. From the corner of her eyes she noticed Thorin paced up and down as well. Kíli however was most calm of all of them. He had wrapped his arms around his brother's body and leaned with his head against his shoulder.
A hint of a smile appeared on her face when she saw her children. She was glad they had each other. Nothing was more important than family. Those relationships rose above passion and friendship and it warmed her heart to see the bond between her sons. Dís herself didn't know what she would have done without Thorin and she felt lucky that he still cared so much about her, just as Kíli and Fíli did.
The smile froze on her face when an elf entered the room. The expression on his face was earnest and there was nothing that showed that he had been sleeping. His hair was just as dark as hers and a thin crown circled around his head.
"Show our guests a room," he said to the two elves who'd found them. He stepped towards the bed and had only eyes for her wounded son.
"Please, go to your parents," he said softly to Kíli, who put his thumb in his mouth and let the man help him to get off the bed. The elf seemed a little confused when Kíli didn't let go of his hand and Dís hastened towards her son and took his other hand. For a moment she looked into the bright eyes of the elf king.
"Thank you," she whispered, not knowing what else she could say.
Kíli's gaze was aimed at his brother. Apparently he didn't notice that he still held the hand of lord Elrond.
"You can let go of his hand now, Kíli," she said both softly and compulsory. "Only then he can heal your brother."
The elf looked at her. "Try to get some sleep, lady. The boy will be all right."
Dís tried to believe him, but Fíli's face was remarkably pale and he barely bawled. The facial expression of the elf lord was calm. Dís however did not know what that meant: whether he was very certain about his abilities or whether he knew for sure there was nothing that could help the boy.
. . .
THORIN
. . .
Thorin had expected the weariness would overpower him immediately, but for a long time he was tossing and turning in the bed that was assigned to him. The elvish hymns did not stop for a moment and even though it didn't sound unpleasant, he was constantly reminded of the fact that he was among a race with which his people lived in argument for centuries. He however knew they had excellent healers and Fíli would nowhere be in better hands, but it was still the question what the elf king wanted in return. During their flight from Erebor they had taken only a few belongings with them and his purse started to become empty.
Finally Thorin dove into a deep sleep, although he would have avoided it when he had known what was waiting for him. Again he was deep in woods, surrounded by men with malicious intentions. Dís was gone and Fíli was lying motionless on the ground. Thorin's eyes flashed back and forth, looking for a way out. His hands glided over his loincloth, as if he could find there a forgotten weapon.
Not far from them echoed a horrible shrieking, that could only come from his sister.
"You want to go to her?" a cynical voice sounded.
Thorin looked at the children. His eldest nephew laid within a pool of blood.
No one waited for his answer. A moment later he looked down at his sister, who laid on the ground with spread legs. A man had bowed over her.
Thorin tore loose to fall upon the rapist, but he crashed into an invisible wall. He screamed and lashed out, while he could do nothing but stare defeated to her shaking body while the tears run down his face.
The light in her eyes seemed to extinguish slowly and her resistance diminished, so that she looked like a ragdoll that was moved up and down.
Thorin noticed his whole face was wet by his tears, but he couldn't take his eyes away from her battered body, hoping to see her chest or lips move.
The rapist suddenly turned around smirked. Thorin gasped for breath when he saw the monstrous face of his enemy. The orc raised his sword and chopped off Dís' head.
"For my collection." Azog made a hand gesture and more heads appeared next to that of his little sister, all leaking blood. That of his grandfather and father. That of his brother and brother-in-law. Even that of his small, innocent nephew.
The wall disappeared and he fell forward, with his face in the mud.
"Avenge us!" they all screamed, but Thorin was burdened by so much grief he couldn't get on his feet.
The last thing he felt, was an ice cold sword against his neck and then he tore open his eyes, staring at the white ceiling above his head. His heart hammered in his chest and slowly the depressing fear left his body. He sat straight and looked around disorientated.
He inhaled relieved when he realized Dís and the boys were still alive, but that knowledge filled the gaping hole in his heart just a little. The rest of them were gone and his sister was possibly raped. He didn't know and he would never ask her.
He put his feet on the ground and walked to the other end of the room. At the edge of the bed he stood still. Her face was calm and he doubted she was also visited by evil men. He stretched his hand to sweep away a tuft of hair out of her face and stroke through Kíli's hair. The boy had curled up like a small ball, nestled in the arms of his mother.
For a moment he observed the sleeping twosome and then he walked to the window, where he elevated himself upon the window-sill. While he stared at the spectacle of colors at the horizon that announced the coming of the sun, he tried to ignore the longing for two arms around his broken body. It was only an imaginary safety, that would neither protect him against the sword nor bring back the dead.
. . .
DÍS
. . .
When Dís woke up, she was surprised to see her brother sit on the window-sill. She carefully sat upright without awaking Kíli.
"I couldn't sleep," he mumbled when he noticed her questioning look.
Dís kept silent. Nightmares had often kept her out of sleep since Smaug had appeared on the horizon and she knew very well how those nocturnal tortures wore-out the mind.
"Can you keep an eye on Kíli?" she asked, shoving back the blankets and leaving the bed. "I want to see Fíli."
"Of course." Thorin turned his face away when she grabbed her clothes to exchange them for the night robe she was wearing. She decided to omit her shoes. Her feet were swollen since she had walked such long distances. Hopefully the well-mannered elves wouldn't judge her, although she was primarily worried about the condition of her child.
She closed the door behind her and looked for the entrance of the enormous building. She hoped she would remember the way from there.
Soon she walked through various corridors that were adorned with portraits and sculptures. There was nowhere an elf to be seen and she started to doubt. She had probably ended up in a part that was forbidden and now they would lock her up!
Dís' knees shook in fear when she heard a voice.
"Are you looking for your son?"
She inhaled nervously when she saw a dark-haired elf. She had alert, dark eyes and a smooth, friendly face.
Nervously Dís stroke with her hands over her robe. Suddenly she wished she had put on some other clothes.
"Yes. I - I didn't know the way."
Despite the friendly expression of the elf, she feared a reproof.
"I can imagine. I will bring you to him." She offered Dís a warm smile and laid a calming hand on her shoulder. "My name is Arwen," she told when they turned around and walked back.
"Dís," she answered. Her name sounded meaningless, without the title of princess or the name of her husband or father. Arwen however had only said her first name as well, so Dís tried not to think about it any longer.
"You arrived tonight, am I right?"
Dís wondered if she wanted to start a conversation because she knew that Fíli was not all right. Maybe her boy had even died and did the elf try to postpone her fate a little more.
"Yes. We were ambushed in the forest and an elf brought us here."
The elf looked at her with genuine empathy, but Dís turned her face away. If she heard what things had happened as well, she would never be watched with a normal glance.
"You are safe here."
Dís knew to show a smile, but she wondered how long they could stay here. She expected it was lord Elrond who would make that decision and she hadn't been long enough with him in a room to pass judgement upon him.
Her nervousness increased again when she passed a corridor that she recognized. She couldn't push away the gloomy feelings and before she thought about it, she grabbed the hand of the elf in a fit.
The woman squeezed her hand. "Do not worry."
While she held her breath she walked through the door behind which lied her eldest son. On the edge of the bed sat the elf king, who had laid his hand upon Fíli's head. He turned around when he heard their footsteps and he showed a disarming smile.
"Have you received the news?"
With a pale face Dís shook her head.
The elf lord raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You must have missed my messenger. Your son will be all right. He will be quite himself again."
Dís grasped the thing that was closest to her - the window-sill - and needed some time to let his words settle. Since the defeat in Moria she avoided any news and somehow she had already accepted a negative message.
"Praised are the gods," she whispered, where after she took a deep breath and walked the last meters to the bed.
he elf stepped back and Dís stroke Fíli's hair tenderly. She bowed forward to kiss his forehead and then turned her head to look at the elf king. She had no idea what to say and eventually expressed her gratitude in a few whispering words.
"Your son will sleep the next few hours.' Lord Elrond aimed his glance at the elf woman.
"Perhaps our guests would like to see Imladris by daylight."
Arwen bowed her head. "It would be my pleasure to show them around."
. . .
THORIN
. . .
Thorin squeezed his eyes when he stepped through the doorway. The sun shone right into his face. He turned away his head and watched the pavement, glittering so brightly it was even more comforting to look at the blinding celestial. He blinked a few times until his eyes started to get used to the surplus of light and he dared to look around. They stood above a large square that was divided in different levels connected by stairs. A richly decorated fountain was visible at the edge, where clear water was squirted up.
He followed the elf woman, who had introduced herself as Arwen, down the stairs. From the corners of his eyes he watched Kíli, who wanted to climb down himself while the steps were way too high for him.
Thorin saw his sister was impressed by the beauty of Rivendell. He couldn't say her mystic beauty did nothing to him, but it was so different from the mountains he'd lived in that he could barely see this as a home.
They crossed the square and Arwen stepped on a small pebbled path that led along a cascading stream. Sometimes he discerned elves high in the tree tops, who greeted them friendly and watched them with curious eyes. Thorin felt uncomfortable. The elves were already taller than he was and it felt like they wanted to stress that by towering even higher above him.
"What are you doing here?" Arwen asked him, leading them along the shore. She was certainly curious, contrasting heavily with the elf he had met before.
"We are from Erebor," Thorin said and he swallowed when hearing the sadness hidden in those few words. "Since Smaug destroyed our home, we are wandering around. It isn't easy to find a place where the children can grow up in safety. We lived in some cities of men, but many are poor and there was no future for the kids. It was dangerous, though we never found a place where there was no danger at all."
"The times are dark," Arwen sighed. Her glance danced over the water, as if the river created a magical wall between the brutal outside world and the illusion of safety that Rivendell seemed to guarantee. "I don't know if you want your children to grow up amidst elves, but you are very welcome. Within the borders of our land there are no dangers."
Thorin exchanged a look with his sister. It sounded very attractive, but he hadn't forgotten the elf. She hadn't want to come here.
"You don't have to make a decision now,' Arwen smiled when she noticed their doubts. "But you are all welcome."
Thorin bowed his head for a moment. "You lack no hospitality."
The row of trees that had accompanied them stopped and they arrived at a grassland. Arwen sat down in the grass and gestured them to do the same. Hesitating Thorin took place at the ground.
"I come here often," she entrusted them. "It is always calm here."
Thorin hadn't seen a place here that didn't seem peaceful, but he kept his thoughts to himself. His eyes peered at the riverbank, although he didn't know where he was looking for. Colored flowers had turned their buds to the sun and dewdrops glimmered in the light. He was distracted for a while, until the bushes to his left moved and some young ducks beeped between the leaves and dropped clumsy in the water.
Although the innocence of this place made him nervous, for he knew it would take away his alertness, he noticed Dís enjoyed the calmness. Also Kíli seemed in his element, he'd crawled to the shore to see the small ducks from a closer spot.
Thorin turned his face to Arwen again and decided to ask about the only thing that bothered him. She had a smooth face and in her eyes laid a deep intelligence. She seemed to have a pure soul, in which honesty and kindness predominated. He didn't thought she would lie.
"There was an elf who saved us from banditsm but she didn't want to enter Rivendell."
Arwen did not look at him, but stared at the water surface. "Not everyone chooses to live in a community," she said softly. "In the woods live various elves who have chosen to live in isolation. They all have their own reasons."
Thorin thought about her words. She hadn't been a very sympathetic type, that was something he had to admit, but was that all? Had she just left them alone at the border of the elvish city because she didn't want to be seen by others?
"It might be better if you put it to rest," Arwen noticed. "The mystery that surround some elves are so deep a mortal could lose himself trying to unravel it."
Thorin knew there was no reason trying to scrutinize her motifs, but he wasn't the kind of person who easily let go of such things, not even when it was better for him. Certainly not now there wasn't a people to lead or an army to be in charge of; his brain was desperately looking for something to explore.
. . .
DÍS
. . .
Dís enjoyed the walk through Rivendell. Every time Arwen showed them something new, she was blown away by the beauty of this magical place. Ever when she thought things couldn't become prettier, the elf showed her the opposite.
The friendly, inviting words that Arwen had spoken, still wandered through her thoughts. Had they accidentally stumbled upon a place where she could give Fíli and Kíli a new life? They would grow up amidst elves, always considered as an outsider, but on the other hand the enormous orc of Gundabad wouldn't search for them here. Her children would be safe and under the protection of ancient elves who were perfectly trained.
"You think you could become happy here?" Thorin asked her when Arwen had left them together so that they could deal with the impressions they had had today.
Dís shrugged. She didn't know if she would ever feel happy again, something that didn't really matter. She wanted her children to be happy. That was all she was asking for.
"No path will bring me to him," Dís said softly. "No place will ever fill the emptiness he left behind."
She watched Fíli, who jumped down step by step, pretending he ambushed an invisible prey.
"I however believe they could be happy here. For the time being they will not notice any difference between elf and dwarf."
Dís looked again to the white houses, with their large round windows through which the wind flew, and the flat roofs upon which squirrels ran and birds sang their songs. Could she live therein? It was different from the house she'd had in Erebor, but that was nothing but a fading memory. Maybe it was better the houses were so different, so that she wasn't constantly wondering what would have happened to her when Smaug's eye hadn't caught their city.
"Do you want to stay here?" She glanced aside.
Her brother stared at his fingers. "This is exactly where we were looking for, right?"
Dís put her hand upon his fingers. That was no answer to her question. She knew he hated the elves because of the cowardly actions of the wood elves when Erebor was under fire, but none of the elves from Rivendell had been there and up to now they'd done much to help them.
"Yes," she said in the end.
"Hopefully lord Elrond is just as friendly as his daughter."
Dís had no answer. He had helped them immediately, although he hadn't been as heart-warming as his daughter. Dís didn't expect such behavior from him, but it made it hard to see through him. Perhaps he didn't like the idea to incorporate four dwarfs in his community. Dís didn't belief her father or Thorin would have done something like that so easily. Taking four outcasts in your midst was asking for trouble.
Dís was taken out of her thoughts when she heard Fíli's voice.
"Mommy!"
He leaned against Arwen and hobbled toward them. She immediately got on her feet to take her son in her arms. "My sweetheart." She kissed his hair.
"Fíli!"
They both watched Kíli climb the stairs. Now and then she was afraid he would fall, but he kept on his feet and reached his brother without stumbling. Cheering he wrapped his arms around the middle of his older brother, on whose face a enormous smile had appeared.
"Your family is complete again," a modest voice sounded.
Dís turned around and froze when she saw lord Elrond. His smile was sincere and he burrowed his hand in Fíli's hair, so that his arm bumped her cheek.
With a red face she turned her head away. She tried to convince herself there was no reason to feel so embarrassed, since she had also royal blood and she had sat around the table with kings for so many times, but the uneasy feeling kept gnawing, as if her existence as a princess had been nothing but a dream that all young girls nurtured while in reality she was only a traumatized widow.