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⇒ Blueprint Apartments
9:30am
"Baby," Changbin hummed with a soft yet disappointed smile lifting his lips. Sitting at the edge of their bed, he gazed at Felix's back as the latter rummaged through his wardrobe for some outfit to go somewhere with someone who was not his boyfriend. "Do you... like your present?"
"Hm?" Felix sighed, exhausted, as he pulled out a white long sleeve and cropped sweater from their respective hangers. Holding them up to his chest; the sweater over the shirt, he turned to face Changbin, swinging his hips and pursing his lips before speaking. "What do you think about this?"
"W-what?"
"Binnie," Felix whined, face-palming. "I have to look good- So do these go well together? I could wear my black scarf around it to not have too much white?"
"Lix... look good for what? Where are you even going? I'm asking if you liked, or even saw your birthday present. And you haven't even touched the breakfast I made you yet..." Changbin sighed at the way his voice cracked with the last few words and, his legs, though hesitant, stood to carry him closer to Felix's front. "Love," he mumbled, pouting. "It's your birthday, I know... But that doesn't mean that you can't at least tell me where you're going..."
"Binnie but I told you last night," Felix huffed, blushing when Changbin's palm met his cheek. Lifting his free hand to hold onto its back, he spoke again, "Chan offered to take me out, remember? Just a friendly outing, you know? And it's not for the entire day either..."
"Chan...?"
"Yeah, something wrong?" Felix mirrored the arch of the older's brow, and he could only scoff when the latter rolled his eyes and smacked his tongue before strolling back over to the bed. "What's up with you?"
Ignoring Felix's questions, Changbin reached under the pillows on the younger's side of the bed and pulled out a small box, marching back over to his front, and opening it, kind of carelessly, as if it didn't even mean much to him anymore.
"Here," he smiled, sarcastic and kind of hurt if one were to observe it properly. "It's a promise ring. Happy birthday. I wanted to get you one a long time ago, but I needed enough money to buy the brand that I wanted. I hope you like it." He grabbed Felix's hand, forcing it open to place the box in. "Happy birthday, Felix."
"Binnie..." Felix mumbled, almost breathless, as he observed how the heart-shaped carving completed the ring's band so beautifully; that had to be real gold. And standing there, Felix could not help but felt guilty.
The nauseating sensation that he had been successfully avoiding for the past few days made its way into the central part of his stomach so quickly and, he didn't exactly know what to say or do to rid it. "B-Bin, it's beautiful," he looked up, surprised to be greeted with Changbin's absence from their bedroom.
Sighing, he scurried out the door whilst ringing Changbin's name, but frowned at the sight of the older near cupboards, placing back a few dry dishes that Felix assumed he had used to prepare breakfast. And even though Changbin was so desperately trying to hide them, the few lines of tears that had traced down his cheeks were quite evident to the eyes of the blonde who was already strolling over to his side and, he dreaded the fact that his attempt to disregard Felix's pity by turning his head was put to shame when the latter held on to his chin.
And then Felix kissed him; soft and gentle and as if those lips were the only lovable pair in the world. Both their heads tilted when Changbin had stopped resisting and, the moist sounds that the meeting of their flesh would make was enough to pull them even deeper in, making them both giggle a bit before pulling away.
"I love it, Binnie," Felix blushed, handing Changbin the box as an indication that he should do the honors. "I love it, and I'm sorry for not paying attention to you... What you did means a lot, okay? And I promise I'll be home before dinner so that we can spend quality time together..."
"Are you going with Kai?" Changbin inquired with a tone drenched with hope, as Kai's participation in Felix's and Chan's outings always added a bit more spark to his trust for the younger, as well as soaked up the bit of jealousy that'd try to creep in now and then. But Felix's answer drew a frown down his face, and his eyes watered, again, when he glanced at an adorably distracted Kai over in the living room.
"No..."
"Why does he want to go out with you alone?" He sighed, frustrated. "I mean, I know it's your birthday, but even Minho knows not to take you from me for the entire day... Plus, you don't even get that worked up over outfits on our dates, Lix..."
Slightly offended, Felix furrowed his brows, folding both arms against his chest whilst gazing forward at Changbin so intently and, with a bit of disbelief. "What are you trying to say?" He questioned, tone somewhat harsh but, he was too distracted by subtle arrogance to think about that. "What exactly are you trying to imply, Changbin?"
"Baby, it's just- I feel kind of scared, you know? And I'm human- I'm not overreacting. Anybody would feel bad if their lover was spending the day out with someone else on a birthday... Anybody would feel bad if their lover was dressing up more for another man than for their dates and stuff... So don't act like I'm doing something wrong." Changbin looked to the side, his heavy breaths coming out like pants through his nostrils. "My feelings are important too, Lix..."
Humble, Lee. Fucking humble, Felix sang in his head, but the narrowness of his eyes as he gazed into Changbin's sad ones was enough to sell out just how rebellious he was to that instinct. "You're being ridiculous," he said instead, instantly regretting yet not stopping. "Were you going to take me out? I don't think so? You want to have dinner with me, and I want that too. Plus, why should I stress over our dates? It's a time where I get a chance to just relax with my boyfriend, not impress you. There are times for that-"
"Impress...? You want to... impress him?" Changbin let another tear drop, and despite the fact that he more than needed Felix's loving touch, he held the boy's arm in place before it could reach its destination at his cheek. He couldn't really handle it, at that moment. As much as he wanted it, he couldn't take it until at least an apology was made for how his feelings were so invalidated. "Why do you want to impress him?"
"I didn't say I did-"
"Oh, but you implied it," Changbin spoke louder, the true level of agitation that he was feeling being evident in the new depth of his voice. Glancing over at an innocently playing Kai to calm down, he looked forward at Felix again, closing his eyes and, lifting a hand to massage his nose bridge. "Just, forget it. Go have fun. Stay safe, and- yeah. I'll stay home to take care of Kai."
Gulping, Felix looked down at his feet, kind of unsure of what reply to give to Changbin's attempt to cut their quarrel short. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, switching moods as if he was in heat. "That was unnecessary- very unnecessary..."
"Yeah, it's as if I can't express what I feel anymore," Changbin scoffed, not caring that his statement could possibly add fuel to the fire that they were both immaturely trying to out. "Thanks for apologizing. Now, I guess you could go get ready, yeah? I look forward to having dinner with you tonight."
Trying not to reflect on the obvious truth in Changbin's first sentence, Felix looked up with a small, forced smile, nodding before parting his lips to speak. "Yes, Binnie, I look forward too. And thank you again, for the ring. It means a lot..."
-
⇒ The View Apartments- Penthouse
8:10pm
Felix was almost willing to lay his life down just to prove that it was not a date. But that same Felix was doubtlessly be more than aware of the fact that such a decision, when unencrypted was basic hypocrisy; swearing on something so valuable to defend a lie. Because he knew for a fact that that outing with Chan was the very thing that he'd claimed it was not.
And sitting there, occasionally fiddling with the thin scarf that hung down from his collar, Felix wasn't necessarily feeling guilty.
I'll treat myself to peace for my birthday, he had thought, and definitely was not failing to execute, especially in the moments where he'd darken his blush for Chan anytime their palms would brush against each other's, or anytime he'd give such a flustered reaction when the older would slyly flirt with him, thus giving the okay to go further.
Because Chan wouldn't hesitate to stop everything if Felix were to express even the slightest bit of discomfort. And it'd be a lie to say that he himself wasn't skeptical with his advances, considering the fact that Changbin was one of the main characters in their little story. But just like Felix, he claimed peace that day. Felix wanted it, right? So he wasn't going to stop, or at least not yet.
"So, Lix," he hummed giggling and placing his dessert fork over his empty plate. "How was your day? I hope I made it memorable..."
"Y-yes," Felix blushed, glancing around the man's dining room in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. "Thank you for taking me out and- making me dinner."
"My pleasure. Now, for your present." Chan grinned, standing to head for his bedroom and, smirking at a perplexed looking Felix as he did so. Walking out with both hands at his back, he made his way up to the blonde's side, inhaling dramatically in preparation for a short speech.
"Felix," he started, blushing; kind of shy. "Over three years ago, we met in one of the most awkward ways possible. And, contrary to my claims within those years, for the past couple of months, I have never been prouder for fucking a stranger, raw, in my life." He cringed with that line, chuckling when Felix became even more visibly flustered; freckled cheeks a shade of red that neither of them thought possible.
"But seriously though, I am glad that we met. And I'm even happier that you have such an amazing and honest personality, especially to tell me about Kai. I have been through a tom of shit in my life, Lix, but ever since you and Kai came along, things have genuinely never been better." Chan glanced down, mentally chastising himself for letting tears escape when he had promised himself not to.
"So, on this day, I want to say happy birthday to one of the most amazing guys that I have ever met. I want to say happy birthday to the man whose texts and voice messages help me to fall asleep at night... But most importantly, happy birthday to the one who bore my child. Happy birthday, Felix."
Chan smiled even wider as he pulled a small, rectangular box from his back. Opening it, he stooped down, watching as Felix's face visibly lit up at its content.
"Chan..." Felix stuttered, speechless as he let one finger trace over the letters on the silver necklace. "Chan you didn't have to..."
"Oh but I wanted to," Chan teased, standing to pin it around the younger's neck. "The C is for my name, the K is for Kai, and the F is for you, Felix." He smiled, small, as he fixed it on, heart feeling so warm and settled in that moment between just them two. And he felt kind of proud at just the realization that Felix sacrificed an entire day of family time to be with him.
Oh, never mind.
That sounded a bit cruel when worded with such detail. And as that thought rang through his head, the guilt that Chan had managed to skip past throughout the day finally found and reclaimed his conscience.
Sigh, how convenient. Now he had to get rid of Felix as soon as possible to act in accordance with his morals that were quickly reclaiming their full dominance.
"So yeah, it's our little family," he spoke softly, suddenly uneasy. "I mean- Not in the way where we're together- I respect your relationship, and I want you to tell me if I ever cross the line- If even the necklace is too much because I could get it remade-"
"Chan," Felix cut him off, standing to take his buffer body into a big, well-deserved hug. "It's perfect, okay? Everything's perfect."
And then he pulled away, slightly; arms still draped over Chan's shoulders and, faces close together in literally the most dangerous way possible. Their eyes were locked together, and the dormant setting of Chan's lips was enough to express just how focused he was on the brown irises gazing back at his chocolate ones.
Felix's tongue ran over his lower lip, and for that moment, the world felt sort of cut off to them both- like it was only them, and no one else to disrupt the mutual feelings that they so clearly held for each other, yet were both too scared to admit.
There was silence; a kind of suspenseful silence which's stiffness proved just how attentive it itself was to the males' eye contact. And as if the atmosphere became heavier, and heavier, their heads shifted forward a little- just a bit, and both consciences assumed that it was the dense air that was pushing their faces closer together.
But of course, that was just a petty excuse that they planned on using later to avoid the guilt that they truly deserved to be haunted by.
And as if not satisfied with their too-close proximity just yet, the air pushed the mens' heads closer, again, to the point where their warm breaths could fan and shiver the face of each other and, to the point where their eyes followed experienced instinct to just... close. Their heads tilted as their faces drew closer... and closer, and until their lips were barely a grain of sand apart...
But then they stopped.
Felix pulled away quickly and, his suddenly sweaty palms found and dragged up and down on the upper part of his jeans.
"I- I have to go, " he stuttered, reaching for his phone and ignoring the bags of items from his and Chan's shopping spree earlier. "I'm sorry- I have to go..."
"Lix," Chan let out through the dryness of his throat, trodding behind Felix's swift, hasty steps towards the front door. "Lix... let me take you-"
"No, Chan. I have to go... Thanks for everything..."
"Okay..." Chan frowned, letting a teardrop fall as soon as the door was slammed in his face. And mustering up every inch of courage left after that incident, he leaned his forehead against the door's surface, parting his lips to sound one honest line with little to no faith that Felix was still there. "I- I think I might be in love with you..." he sniffled, and with his foggy state of mind, contrary to how truly audible they were, those words seemed to be barely a whisper to his ears.
But he meant them.
And...
Felix heard them.
And...
Felix's heart did not feel so conflicted anymore...
Felix's heart wasn't quite sure if it could love the same person the same way, anymore.
-
⇒ Blueprint Apartments
8:55pm
Snoring his way back to consciousness upon hearing the front door creak open, Changbin blinked repetitively, massaging his temples in an attempt to ease the slight headache that had started due to that unexpected wake-up.
"Lix?" He called out to the slow footsteps tapping along the tiles of the hallway before cursing at the outed candles on the table. And he couldn't even light them back since the wax was practically melted all the way; they were lit for so long, since Felix was supposed to be home so long ago.
Standing to brush up his suit and wipe some drool from the corners of his lips, Changbin twisted his neck and winced at the stiff pain that resulted from his awkward sleeping position on the table.
"Baby," he greeted, happy and not at all allowing himself to be angry with Felix's late return. "Happy birthday, again... I trust you had a great day..."
"Bin," Felix gasped, genuinely surprised by the dimmed lights and several dishes laid out on their table.
How to tell his boyfriend that he wasn't hungry after promising his participation in a dinner date at home? Yeah, Felix did not know, so humbly, he strolled up to his lover's front for a soft yet passionate kiss on the lips. But he had to thank the lack of sufficient light for hiding his face away from the latter because, he didn't blush as he'd usually do.
His heart didn't flutter as it usually would and, his lips laid a little lower after they pulled away.
"Thank you," he mumbled, taking a seat at the table. "You really went all out, Binnie..."
"Only for you," Changbin blushed, taking a plate to dish out appropriate portions for heating, considering the fact that the food had been prepared so long before. "I have to heat it up though- How come you back so late...?"
"Dinner took a long time," Felix answered absentmindedly, biting harshly on his tongue after realizing the very information that he let slip. "I-"
"Y-you had dinner with him?" Changbin questioned, hurt and already letting some heavy tears drip down his face. The appetite that he had built up since afternoon seemed to no longer exist and, the plates of food in his hands, prepared with so much love and joy, seemed to be useless.
Worthless.
"Well," he frowned, still walking over to the kitchen, but that time for a bunch of plastic containers instead of the microwave. "You can go get ready for bed, I guess. Glad you had a good birthday."
"Binnie-"
"Not now, Felix."
"Bin-"
"Not now."
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[A/N]
1. Thoughts on Felix's decision to spend the day with Chan? Justifiable or unjustifiable?
3. Do you think Chan is too selfish? Or can his efforts to get closer to Felix be justified?
4. Do you think that Felix is ready to breakup with Changbin?