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⇒ Blueprint Apartments
11:00pm
"How to tell a child who their father is..." Felix mumbled as he googled that line for what had to be the fiftieth time since about two weeks past. And he was sweating as he laid down with his phone, scrolling through numerous websites that he had undoubtedly visited in previous researches. But the anxiety that'd boil in his stomach whenever he'd think twice about the task of telling Kai who Chan really was, was always enough to fuel such repetition.
Sighing, he rolled onto his side, too emerged in his thoughts to make out the soft cracking of their bedroom door, as well as to sense the pair of eyes staring back at his phone from the other side of the bed, until a noticeable dip in the mattress was felt. His eyebrows raised at the recognition of Changbin at his side, and his cheeks lit up when the older's arm found his waist, and when the man's soft, loving lips met his neck and cheeks briefly.
"Binnie..." he hummed, reaching to rest his phone on the nightstand. "What's up?"
"You just need to tell him, Lix." Changbin sighed, laying Felix on his back to properly hover and kiss him more comfortably. "The younger he is, the better, you know? And researching the same thing every day with no progress will get you nowhere. I'm sure even Chan is getting impatient." He sighed, gazing down at Felix's eyes and, mirroring the latter's blush when the freckled beauty willing raised his head a little for a longer, deeper kiss. "Baby..."
"I don't know how... Bin-Bin..."
"Lix well, at least make an effort? Allow Kai to spend more time with Chan, because I mean, he's willing. It's not like he doesn't want to. And he's been waiting for so long." Changbin sighed, rolling off of Felix to lay on his side of the bed, still keeping one arm around the blonde's slim waist. "You know him a little better now from all the time you three spend together sometimes... So don't you trust him enough for Kai yet? I mean, I love Kai-Kai with all my heart and will never get tired of him but... I- I don't want to be selfish. I don't want to seem selfish and, I don't want Chan getting the wrong idea about me..."
"Binnie..." Felix whined, pouting. "You're not selfish and never will be. And I'm sure he doesn't think that." He looked down, taking Changbin's hand under the blanket to play with his fingers so daintily. "Okay, tomorrow? Tomorrow when we go over there for lunch like that one time, I'll tell Kai- we'll tell him together... mhm? You should come too since he's so used to you..."
"Nah, I'm not coming," Changbin sighed, scooting closer to Felix to leave soft kisses at his temple. "It's more of a parent moment? I don't know if those are the right words, but you get it. If I'm there, Kai might not even believe, I don't know. And I don't want him getting distracted, because even I'd feel bad..."
Smiling, Felix shifted to lay face to face with his boyfriend, and his cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of pink when the latter's lips met his, again; the touch still flustering him as if it were their first kiss. "Aw," he jested, giggling. "What a polite and considerate boyfriend I have... How did I get so lucky?"
"Simple. You just exist," Changbin chuckled with that line, flaunting those small dimples that Felix had always loved to poke with his fingers, and his heart felt warm when the younger did just that. "You know, I look forward to the day where you have my own baby." He spoke skeptically, smile dimming due to sudden anxiety tiring his cheeks and, heartbeats quickening in anticipation as he hoped that Felix would not oppose or seem offended, in any way, by that question.
"One day," Felix mumbled, much to Changbin's delight, before nuzzling his face into the older's bare chest. "Binnie Junior if it's a boy..."
Giggling and sighing out of relief, Changbin slightly shifted to turn off their night lamp, letting out a soft hum when Felix wasted no time before reclaiming one of his hands to fiddle. Closing his eyes, he cooed, kissing Felix's forehead and admiring the soft snores that had already started their escape out his parted lips. "You always know how to make my heart happy."
-
⇒ The View Apartments- Penthouse
4:45pm
Changbin smiled as he kissed Kai goodbye, giggling when the toddler cupped his cheeks to peck his forehead in return. "See you later, Kai-Kai," he said, standing from his crouched position and, pecking Felix's lips as he stood so supportively behind his son. "And see you later, love. You'll call me when you're ready to go home?"
Nodding, Felix kissed Changbin's face, wide eyes brightening at the large smile stretching up the older's cheeks even further. And then, after flashing a light wave to Chan who posed so awkwardly to the far corner of the hallway, Changbin chuckled and headed for the front door, blowing a kiss to a giggling Kai and Felix.
"Well," Chan spoke up when the door was closed, and his legs finally felt a bit freer to shift from their stiff post, "that was cute." He teased, blushing when Felix finally locked eyes with him. And Chan had to bite harshly on the inside of his cheeks as some form of discipline to remove the red stains marking not only them, but his ears, and he just hoped that Felix had thought nothing of it. "What do you want to do first? Lunch and then... talk? Or talk first?"
"I'm kinda too anxious to eat, and Kai had something to munch on, so I think talk." Felix forced a wide smile, and only when Chan's strong arms found his torso in the friendliest, most comforting way possible did his face drop into a perfect representation of exactly how he was feeling. His eyebrows furrowed as his head leaned against the older's shoulder, and his lips curved downwards so tightly in fear that they'd quiver and draw down the tears that he was resisting.
But then, after a few seconds, Felix smiled into the hug, almost forgetting his real reason for the visit and, instinctively tightening his own arms around Chan's torso. And to him, it was innocent, honestly. Chan was a friend, as well as his child's father, and they were about to disclose some life-changing information to a three-year-old so, he really did need that comfort.
But Chan? Goodness, said man's heart... fluttered?
And he did not know, or rather, was not willing to admit the most logical explanation behind those weird sensations that he was feeling. Chan wasn't ready to let his brain know every detail of exactly what his heart was trying but, he knew that such admission was needed to prevent any damage from being done... But then again, he kind of wanted... to feel like that?
He kind of, sort of, somehow savored the butterflies that a grown man like him would get for someone who was taken. And it was dangerous, he knew that, but Chan was just not willing to give up the new emotions that he had last felt at least four years before. And he had forgotten how good it felt, honestly.
So not yet; he wasn't ready to get rid of it just yet.
Pulling away, both men sniffled, and Felix had to gulp thickly to rid any level of guilt in his conscience as, contrary to the accusations that his mind was trying to brew up for the lengthy contact, the very reason for his action was the need for comfort and, just a hug? Yes, he really did need that hug, and something about it was just different from the loving ones that Changbin would give so, he couldn't allow himself to feel guilty for hugging another man for so long.
"Let's go to the living room then," Chan spoke softly, thinking twice before taking Kai's little hand into his to guide them into the more homey area. Settling on the couch and releasing the toddler's hand so that he could climb into Felix's lap on the single sofa, he spoke again, breaths heavy and, restless eyes scanning all corners of the room as if they had nothing better to do. "H-how do I say this... I- Lix, I think you should talk first..."
Frowning, Kai looked up at his daddy, clinging onto his chest and, causing Felix to almost cry at the new shade of red tinting his chubby cheeks; Kai was worried, so it was clear that they had already failed the first step.
"I-is something wrong?" He whispered, rubbing a fist over his face. "Am I in trouble?"
"No, Kai-Kai. Nothing's wrong," Felix reassured, petting his son's head. "Daddy just has something he wants to tell you... And Chan has to be here for it."
"Where's Binnie?" Kai looked around the room, frowning even lower at the absence of his best friend. Maybe Changbin should've come along, but crying over spilled milk would get either of them nowhere, so Felix only smiled softly, kissing the child's cheek to calm him.
"Binnie is gonna come get us later," Felix sighed, glancing over at Chan before going ahead. "So, Kai-Kai, about what I have to tell you. Do you remember when daddy told you that you have another daddy? And that I'm not sure who, but Binnie will always be there for you?"
"Mhm? I remember..."
"Well... I found out who your real other daddy is..." Felix forced a tight-lipped smile, chewing on his tongue in anticipation as Kai processed the information. "And... he wants to be your friend too. Do you want to be his friend?"
"But what about Binnie?" Kai pouted, again, and Chan could only sigh in his seat as mild guilt quaked his conscience. He didn't want to get in between them but, he wanted his child.
He wanted his child.
"Binnie is still gonna be there for you." Felix smiled with more sincerity that time, and his heartbeats quickened when Kai's eyes darted over to Chan. Taken aback by the toddler's sudden interest, he missed the moment when Kai sat up a little to bring his face closer to his daddy's ears; eyes still stuck onto Chan's puzzled expression.
"Is he my daddy?" Kai questioned innocently, pointing a finger in Chan's direction. "He is nice to me and you and Binnie."
"Well, he actually is," Felix giggled, blushing at the adoring smile sent his way- Kai's way... his way. "He's your other daddy, Kai-Kai. And we proved it, so there's nothing to be scared of."
Suddenly shyer than before, Kai curled up at Felix's side, eyes stuck on Chan's frame and, face slowly but surely mirroring the wide, satisfied smile boasting his second father's dimples. "D-do I have to call you daddy?" He mumbled, loud enough for both adults to hear and, cute enough for both their hearts to melt.
"If you want to," Chan spoke up, standing to near Kai's and Felix's front. "You can call me daddy, or Channie. Or maybe you can call me papa? Whatever you want..."
"I like Channie," Kai whispered, small body tensing up yet not resisting Chan's effort to lift him. "Will you take care of me like daddy?" He pursed his lips, poking at one of Chan's dimples.
"Of course I will, Kai. And you can even have sleepovers if you want," Chan played with the child's chubby fingers as he spoke. And for a moment there, Felix was on neither of their minds, and the latter could only chuckle in his seat while Chan strolled into his bedroom with the toddler in secure hold. "You can come to work with me sometimes, and I'll give you lots of toys to play with and books to start reading, hm?"
"Thank you," Kai giggled, bringing his free hand in his mouth and, pouting when Chan pulled it down.
Taking a seat at the edge of his bed, Chan placed Kai down next to him, kissing his cheek before reaching over to the nightstand for a small box. "I got you something," he stated, smiling and cooing at the child's adorable gestures. "You want to see?"
Opening the box, Chan held it in front of Kai's eyes, chuckling at the way his face lit up at the shiny gold painting the outside of a small necklace. Hesitantly, he brought a hand forward to poke at it, the other staying close to his chest as if it were some foreign living thing sitting in that box.
"A necklace?" He whispered, looking up at his father. "Is that a word on it?" He traced the outline of the letters, lips pursing in some childish thought.
"It says 'Bang'," Chan smiled, huffing out a breath, and feeling more than contented with how things were going. "It says Bang because my surname is Bang, and yours is Lee, but you're still and always will be a Bang, because I'm your daddy. So I want you to take care of it, okay?"
"Bang Channie?" Kai questioned, smiling happily when Chan carefully pinned the accessory around his neck. "It's pretty."
"Yes, pumpkin. Bang Channie. And you're Bang Kai, but you go by Lee Kai, which is no problem at all. I just want you to remember..."
"Thank you, Channie," Kai giggled, hugging Chan from the side, and looking up with big, bright eyes when Chan's larger arm hugged him back.
Peeking out from the corner of the door with both hands on his chest and face mimicking an expression of crying, Felix interrupted, smiling brightly when both pairs of eyes fell on him. "Bang Kai," he chuckled, running over to tickle the little boy on the bed. "I'm glad you two get along so well."
"I'm glad too," Chan hummed, gazing at Felix and Kai whilst they played and, internally chastising himself for forming imaginations with every blink as to how things would be if they were his real family...? But for some reason, the swears and speeches that his conscience was sending up to his head didn't seem to be enough so, Chan had to target insecurities that he never wanted to dwell on again, no matter how impractical that seemed.
He hardly knows anything about you, he thought, sighing when his mental quarrel silenced a bit. He doesn't even know you can't have more kids, so give it up.
And Chan gave it up, holding in a breath with hope to keep back the cry straining his throat. "Bang Kai," he whispered, swallowing.
"Bang Kai."